Here Today, Gone Tomorrow

Youth is a fleeting memory and, within reason, should be enjoyed to it's fullest. As one matures, things slow a bit, become more predictable and to some degree, life becomes a bit more dependable.

Therein lies the rub, the trade always seems between the exhilaration of youth and fast times or maturity and dependability.

This year, there have been times that both aspects of life have angered and disappointed me. That's because I've become accustomed to everything in its place and a place for everything.

Death has taken some of my dearest friends in the past few years, people that I foolishly thought would always be there. Additionally, although I haven't been there as much as I like lately, Holleman's Restaurant has been purchased and the name has been changed.

To imagine that, two years ago, I couldn't call an old friend and have dinner and drinks at Hollemans would have made me laugh. Yet, it is so. My friend Victor passed recently and Hollemans is no more. I thank God for the memories, though, as they belong to me and cannot be taken or purchased.

On a brighter note, Hialeah Park is scheduled to open its new casino this month, my family and I are well and I'm going to take more outings with old friends to see more places, both new and old.  Maybe one day, I'll be as intelligent as my heroes, Jack and Sherry Darnell, who continually tour the United States in their motor home visiting places, seeing old friends and making new ones.

By the way, my pal Jack doesn't have a horse and I know how and when to use capital letters. This may not have meaning now, but you'll understand my reasoning later in this post.....

The News As I See It: Obama met with the Greek prime minister to discuss reforming Greece's economy. He talked with the prime minister of Greece about the economy. Actually, it’s "the blind leading the blind."

Anthony Weiner has released a 19-page booklet on how to improve life in New York City. Oh, please. If Weiner wants to improve life in New York City, he should move to New Jersey.

The NFL says they are going to crack down on excessive celebrations this season. The only time they will allow a celebration is when an NFL player is found "not guilty."

A movie just opened called "Elysium" staring Matt Damon. The movie takes place in the future where a lot of things are very different and earth has been overrun with crime, disease, and pollution. Basically, it's just a story about modern day Los Angeles.

The New York City Department of Education says that only 26 percent of the city's students passed the English portion on a recent standardized test. But on the bright side, they're too bad at math to realize how bad that is.

I guess you all heard about this terrorist threat that Obama warned us about. One of the reasons al-Qaida is upset with the United States is because we are giving aid to Yemen. We didn’t have a choice. When life hands you Yemen, you give them Yemen aid. (I apologize for that one but it's been a slow news day).

Researchers at the University of Chicago say that dolphins, not elephants, have the longest memories in the animal kingdom. They confirmed this when a dolphin was upset that an elephant it had met 20 years ago didn’t even recognize him.

This Date In History: 1624; Cardinal Richelieu was named chief minister of France by king Louis XIII. 1851; Issac Singer patented the sewing machine. 1865; British surgeon Joseph Lister became the first doctor to use an antiseptic during surgery. 1898; A peace protocol ending the Spanish-American War was signed.

1898; Hawaii was formally annexed to the United States. 1972; The last American combat troops left Vietnam. 1985; In the world's worst single-aircraft disaster, a Japan Air Lines 747 crashed into Mount Osutaka, killing 520 of the 524 aboard.

1998; Swiss banks agreed to pay $1.25 billion to settle lawsuits brought by Holocaust survivors and their heirs. The banks had kept millions of dollars deposited by Holocaust victims before and during World War II. 2000; The Russian military submarine, Kursk, and its crew were lost in the Barents Sea. 2004; N.J. governor James McGreevey announced his resignation.

Picture Of The Day: Colors......provided free from the Lord above to stimulate your senses and combined with the fruits and vegetables above, fill you completely.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) If really good-looking people are "eye candy", I guess that puts me somewhere around the "eye broccoli" category. 2) "Always bring a nail file, scissors, tweezers, a corkscrew, a toothpick and a bottle opener to a knife fight." -- The Swiss Army. 3) When I'm looking for a parking spot I turn the radio down because clearly I can see better when it's quieter. 4) Why would a married man buy a hearing aid? 5) I remember when my ex-wife and I decided not to have children. The kids took it pretty hard......and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Leo - August 12th: Chasing cats and dogs around the streets after midnight is probably not the best way to endear yourself to your neighbors. Countries that you believe have issued orders for your arrest will close in, but all the charges will be dropped. You'll be fine, eventually, but you will have to go without clean pants for a couple of days.

Birthdays: George IV, king of Great Britain and Ireland (1820–30), eldest son and successor of George III 1762, Katharine Lee Bates, author 1859, Jacinto Benavente, dramatist 1866, Mary Roberts Rinehart, novelist 1876, Christy Mathewson, baseball player 1880, Cecil B. De Mille, film director 1881, Erwin Schrödinger, theoretical physicist 1887, Cantinflas, actor 1911, George Hamilton, actor, producer 1939, Pete Sampras, tennis player 1971.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked, "Is my time up?" God said, "No, you have another 43 years, two months and eight days to live."

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face lift, liposuction and tummy tuck. Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well look even nicer.

After her Last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 years? Why didn't you pull me out of the path of that ambulance?" God replied, "Sorry, I didn't recognize you."

People who send text messages and emails have forgotten the art of the use of capital of letters. For those of you who fall into this category, please take note of the following statement. "Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse." I hope this clears every thing up.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: My thanks to my friend Linda in Washington State for her contribution to today's stories.

A big shot executive had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around just like he did his staff. None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with him. The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him.

She came into his room and announced, "I have to take your temperature." After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth. The nurse said, "No, I'm sorry, but for this reading, I can't use an oral thermometer." This started another round of complaining, but eventually he rolled over and bared his behind.

After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he heard her announce, "I have to get something. Now you stay just like that until I get back!" She leaves the door to his room open on her way out. He curses under his breath as he hears people walking past his door, laughing.

After a half hour, the man's doctor comes into the room. The Doctor asks, "What's going on here?" Angrily, the man answers, "What's the matter, Doc? Haven't you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?" After a pause, the doctor confesses, "Not with a carnation."

At St. Peter's Catholic Church in Adelaide, they have weekly husband's marriage seminars. At the session last week, the priest asked Giuseppe, who said he was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to the same woman all these years.

Giuseppe replied to the assembled husbands, '"Wella, I'va tried to treat her nicea, spenda da money on her, but besta of all is, I tooka her to Italy for the 25th anniversary!"

The priest responded, "Giuseppe, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here! Please tell us what you are planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary?" Giuseppe proudly replied, "I gonna go pick her up."

That's it for today, my little rosebuds. Remember, nothing says "I love you" more than a waitress bringing you another beer before you ask.

More on Wednesday.

Stay Tuned !