The Monday Blues Always Remind Me Of Hank Williams

As a writer-humorist, Mondays are either feast or famine. Some weekends produce startling news but with very little humor. By the same token, the reverse is also true. Today, I searched around my cluttered mind trying to hit on a subject that interested me and hopefully, would touch my readers, as well.

My thoughts turned to legendary country singer Hank Williams, who once wrote: "Today I passed you on the street and my heart fell at your feet. I can't help it if I'm still in love with you." Many believe the lyrics came from his heart and were directed at his wife Audrey.

The song, "I Can't Help It", became a hit and Hank went on to become one of the most recorded singer-songwriters in history.

Born September 17, 1923, Hank Williams was regarded as one of the most significant and influential country music musicians of all time, Williams recorded 35 singles (five released posthumously) that would place in the Top 10 of the Billboard Country Western Best Sellers chart, including 11 that ranked number one.

Several years of back pain, alcoholism and prescription drug abuse severely deteriorated Williams' health. He and wife Audrey divorced and he was dismissed by the Grand Ole Opry, citing unreliability and frequent drunkenness.

Hank Williams with his son Hank Jr.

Hank Williams died in the early morning hours of New Year's Day in 1953 at the age of 29 from heart failure exacerbated by pills and alcohol.

Despite his short life, Williams has had a major influence on twentieth-century popular music, majorly country music in general. The songs he wrote and recorded have been covered by numerous artists, and have been hits in various genres including pop, gospel, and blues. He has been inducted into multiple music halls of fame.

I began singing Hank Williams songs in the early '50s. My interest in music was something I was born with and all of my family are musically inclined. Together with Brother Kirt,  this musical desire continued as we continually were drawn to the newest songs and more specifically, the Everly Brothers.

I was too young to completely understand Hank's life when he died, but memories of listening to him on the radio will be a pleasant memory forever.

On a sad note: Actor James Garner and Broadway star Elaine Stritch died over the weekend.

James Garner, who starred in the TV Western "Maverick" and films such as "The Rockford Files" and his Oscar-nominated "Murphy's Romance," was 86 years old.

I grew up watching "Maverick", but I think my fondest memory was when he costarred with Sally Field in Murphy's Romance. Rest in peace, Mr. Garner.

Elaine Stritch, was an actress and singer whose brassy, whiskey-soaked voice, acerbic wit and hard-won understanding of human frailty made her an indomitable show-business force on stage and screen.

Star of Broadway hits including "Elaine Stritch at Liberty" and "Show Boat, she was nominated for multiple Tony and Emmy Awards, winning three of the latter. She was 89. Rest in peace, Ms. Stritch.

The News As I See It: Toronto Mayor Rob Ford faced off against his four challengers in a debate for Toronto mayor last week. His opponents were, of course, pretty critical of his performance, but Ford said, "Hey, my record slurs for itself."

According to a new report, 81 percent of people would cheat on their partner if there were no consequences. 19 percent of people were pretty sure this was a test.

The FCC wants to update the Emergency Alert System so that Obama can interrupt any TV program. I can see it now: "We interrupt this program to tell America that Obama had a bowl of matzo ball soup for lunch. This concludes today's presidential update."

There's currently a petition to split California into several states. Among the new states would be Botoxia, Pornsylvania and of course, the Commonwealth of Kardashiania.

Congressman Raul Labrador said that impeaching Obama is a good idea, but it will never pass. No one wants President Joe Biden. That's when Biden realized why Obama picked him as a running mate

This Date In History: 1861; Confederate forces won victory at Bull Run in the first major battle of the Civil War. 1873; The first train robbery west of the Mississippi was pulled off by Jesse James and his gang.

1925; In the "Monkey Trial," John T. Scopes was found guilty of violating Tennessee state law by teaching evolution. 1949; The U.S. Senate ratified the North Atlantic Treaty.

1970; The Aswan High Dam was opened in Egypt. 1998; Astronaut Alan Shepard died. 2002; WorldCom filed for bankruptcy, the largest bankruptcy in U.S. history.

Picture Of The Day: Hank Williams wrote or co-wrote such hits as "Your Cheating Heart", "Jambalya", I'm so Lonesome I Could Cry", Cold Cold Heart", "Hey Good Looking", "I saw The Light", "Kaw-Liga", "Take These Chains From My Heart" and so many, many more.

His biggest hit was probably "Lovesick Blues" which he sang on The Grand Ole Opry to a standing ovation and subsequently seven encores, a record that has never been broken.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) My name is Jimmy but some of you know me by my street name, 9th avenue. 2) A liberal is just a conservative that hasn't been robbed and beaten yet. 3) The older I get, the less I trust farts. 4) My buddy told me that that his wife was driving him to drink. He's lucky, my ex-wife made me walk. 5) I'm still looking forward to the day I can illegally download groceries.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Cancer - July 21st: Destiny awaits you and is waiting with open arms to welcome you into the clubhouse of love. Everything will go perfectly and nothing is going to spoil it, until later on this month when there will be a terrible thunderstorm.

Birthdays: Jean Picard, astronomer 1620, Ernest Hemingway, American novelist and short-story writer 1899, Isaac Stern, violinist 1920, John Gardner, writer 1933, Janet Reno, U.S. Attorney General 1938, Kenneth Starr, independent counsel 1946, Garry Trudeau, political cartoonist 1948, Robin Williams, comedian 1951.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: An elderly man lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died and he went to the parish priest and asked if he would say a mass for his poor departed pet.

The priest replied, "I'm afraid not. We cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane."

The old man said, "I'll go right away Father. Do ya think $5000 is enough to donate to them for the service?" The priest exclaimed, "Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn't ya tell me the dog was Catholic?"

Two businessmen in Florida were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store. As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up. One said to the other, "I bet any minute now some senior citizen is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we're selling."

No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious senior citizen walked to the window, had a peek, and in a soft voice asked "What are you sellin' here?" One of the men replied sarcastically, "We're selling assholes." Without skipping a beat, the old timer said, "Looks like you're doing well. Only two left."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A young boy of five was going into hospital to have his tonsils removed. He told his playmate that he would be gone for awhile to have surgery.

On the day he was admitted, his mother asked the doctor if he could also circumcise him while he was asleep. The doctor agreed. The boy woke up and was very sore down there for several days.

After about a week, he got to see his playmate again. The playmate informed him that he was also going to have to have his tonsils out soon. He asked him to tell him about the surgery. The little boy replied, "All I can tell you is your tonsils ain't where you think they are!"

Third grade teacher Miss Crabtree said to little Sammy, "You're late again, Sammy, for the third time this month." Little Sammy said, "It's not my fault, Miss Crabtree. The reason I'm three hours late is because my Daddy sleeps naked."

Now Miss Crabtree had taught grammar school for thirty-some years. She asked little Sammy what he meant, despite her mounting fears. Little Sammy and trouble were old friends, but he always told the truth.

Sammy said, "Miss Crabtree, we have a coyote that's been coming to our ranch. The past few nights it killed and ate three hens and it also killed Mom's best milk goat!"

Little Sammy went on, "Last night, when Daddy heard a noise out in the chicken coop, he grabbed his shotgun and told Mom that th\he coyote was back and he was going to get him! He told all us kids to stay back!"

Sammy continued, "There he was, naked as a jaybird, no boots, no pants and no shirt! He crawled right up to the chicken coop and stuck that double barrel right through the window."

Little Sammy said, "As he stared into the dark coop with the coyote on his mind, our old hound dog, Zeke, snuck up behind Daddy. Then, old Zeke stuck his cold nose in the crack of Daddy's ass and we've been cleaning chickens since three o'clock this morning!"

That's it for today, my little bean sprouts. Remember, making fun of someone's age is like mocking them for getting hit by a train because you're standing a little further down the tracks.

More on Wednesday.

Stay Tuned !

Here's To You Hank Williams !

Today's post is dedicated to Hank Williams, one of the most prolific singer-song writers in Country Music history. His songs have been performed and recorded by countless musical talents across the musical spectrum.

I remember listening to Hank and other artists on the RCA Victor radio when I was a kid. Brother Kirt and I used to sing along with all his songs long before we ever learned to play the guitar.

Hank had 11 number one hits in his career ("Lovesick Blues," "Long Gone Lonesome Blues," "Why Don't You Love Me," "Moanin' the Blues," "Cold, Cold Heart," "Hey, Good Lookin'," "Jambalaya (On the Bayou)," "I'll Never Get Out of This World Alive," "Kaw-Liga," "Your Cheatin' Heart," and "Take These Chains from My Heart"), as well as many other top ten hits.

On June 11, 1949, Williams made his debut singing "Lovesick Blues" at the Grand Ole Opry, where he became the first performer to receive six encores. That same year, Audrey Williams gave birth to Randall Hank Williams (Hank Williams, Jr.).

In 1951 "Dear John" became a hit, but it was the flip side, "Cold, Cold Heart", that became one of his most-recognized songs. A pop cover version by Tony Bennett released the same year stayed on the charts for 27 weeks, peaking at number one.

Many rock and roll pioneers of the 1950s, such as Elvis Presley, Bob Dylan, Jerry Lee Lewis, Merle Haggard, Gene Vincent, Carl Perkins, Ricky Nelson, Jack Scot, and Conway Twitty recorded Williams songs early in their careers.

During his last years Williams's consumption of alcohol, morphine and other painkillers severely compromised his professional and personal life. He divorced his wife Audrey and was dismissed by the Grand Ole Opry due to frequent drunkenness.

Williams died suddenly in the early morning hours of New Years Day in 1953 at the age of 29 from heart failure brought on by pills and alcohol. Despite his short life, Williams has had a major influence on country music. The songs he wrote and recorded have been covered by numerous artists, many of whom have also had hits with the tunes, in a range of pop, gospel, blues and musical styles.

The music of Hank Williams continues on with the recent release of a funky version of "Hey Good Looking" by Jimmy Buffett together other country artists. Roll on, Hank !

Hank Sr and Hank Jr

The News As I See It: Immigration is the big issue they're working on in Washington. They want to create a "path to citizenship." You have to pass a background check, you have to pay a fine, you have to pay back taxes, you have to learn English. Oh, yeah!You also have to get that statue of the Virgin Mary off your front yard and the cable channels between 17 and 23? Gone!

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said he would like to become the first Iranian to go into space. Israel said, "The flight's on us! No problem. We've got everything covered."

The White House is warning North Korea that it will face significant consequences if it moves forward with a new round of nuclear tests. Not only that — it’s also warning South Korea that it will face serious consequences if Psy makes another ad for pistachios.

Pakistan is opening an amusement park and a zoo in the same town where the raid on Osama Bin Laden took place. The zoo is pretty cool, but I’ve heard you won't be able to see the seals until it's too late.

Sunday's Super Bowl was one of the highest rated Super Bowls ever, with 108 million people watching. This year’s game added $430 million to the New Orleans economy — apparently none of which was used to pay the electric bill.

Everybody is talking about the Super Bowl's big power failure. When the lights first went out, out of force of habit, Ray Lewis started running from security. Evidently, deer antler spray works. How about that!

People from CBS were freaking out because when it gets dark around CBS, Dan Marino gets a little frisky.

This Date In History: 1788; Massachusetts ratified the U.S. Constitution, becoming the sixth state to join the Union. 1804; Joseph Priestley, British chemist, died. His work on the isolation of gases led him to discover oxygen in 1774.

1899; The Spanish-American War ended when a peace treaty between Spain and the United States was signed. 1933; The 20th Amendment to the Constitution, which set the date for the president's inauguration on January 20, was adopted.

1935; The popular board game Monopoly went on sale for the first time. 1952; Princess Elizabeth became Queen Elizabeth II of Great Britain. 1971; Astronaut Alan B. Shepard hit a golf ball and Edgar Mitchell threw a "javelin" on the moon. They landed in the same crater and remain on the Moon today.

2001; Ariel Sharon was elected prime minister of Israel. 2012; The Diamond Jubilee of Queen Elizabeth II marked the 60th anniversary of her accession to the throne.

Picture Of The Day: A mother's sense of love and caring is relatively equal in most animals. Their dedication is admirable.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) The inventor of the doorbell apparently did not own a Chihuahua. 2) California has the highest rate of adultery and depression. It's a sad State of affairs. 3) I talk to myself. I have to because sometimes I need expert advice. 4) I've never was an Olympic athlete but I did participate in a Toyotathon once. 5) As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Aquarius - February 6th: Raisins are a lovely dried up fruit. However, the old man who owns the hairdressers down the road is not fond of raisins. Stay with leafy vegetables and fresh fruit this week and if I were you, I'd avoid the dried up fruit down the road, as well.

Birthdays: My sweet pal Linda - Happy Birthday Baby ! 19XX, Aaron Burr, political leader 1756, Jeb Stuart, cavalry commander 1833, Babe Ruth, baseball player 1895, Ronald Reagan, 40th President of the United States 1911, Mary Douglas Leakey, archaeologist 1913, Zsa Zsa Gabor, actress 1917, François Truffaut, film director and critic 1932, Bob Marley, reggae singer 1945.

Macaques

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: The woman quickly realized that the large wave had unceremoniously dispatched the top part of her bikini into the deep. More than a little embarrassed, she clasped her arms across her chest and made a dash for her car. She could sense everyone gawking at her along the way.

Upon entering the parking lot a little boy, who was following his mother to the beach asked, pointing to her arms, "Are you carrying puppies in there?", Not wanting to explain what had really happened, the woman replied, " Why yes, yes they are. She quickly moved on but heard the boy shout after her, "If you're giving them away I'll take the one with the pink nose!"

Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked Adam, "What is wrong with you?" Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to. God said he was going to give him a companion and she would be called woman.

God said, "This person will cook for you and wash your clothes, she will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them.

God contunued, "She will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will never have a headache, and will freely give "love" and compassion whenever needed."

Adam asked God, "What will this woman cost?" God said, "An arm and a leg." Adam said, "What can I get for just a rib?" The rest is history...
 

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, "What is this, Father?" The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened, and the lady rolled between them into a small room.

The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.

Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blond stepped out. The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, "Go get your Mother."

During these serious and trying times, people of all faiths should remember these four great religious truths:

1. Muslims do not recognize Jews as God's chosen people.
2. Jews do not recognize Christ as the Messiah.
3. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian world.
4. Baptists do not recognize each other at Hooters or the Liquor Store.

That's it for today, my little kitty cats. Remember, a diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. I'm going to AREA 51 for happy hour.

That's it for now. More on Friday.

Stay Tuned !

My Country Side Of Life

Although I enjoy most styles of music (the obvious excluded), my musical background began with country music. Back in the day, we listened to AM radio stations (FM didn't exist), most of whom played a little bit of everything. There weren't any stations that played one style of music exclusively. Actually, there weren't that many stations, period.

In those days, Brother Kirt and I would sing along with the country music songs on the radio and harmonize together. Since we didn't play any instruments at the time (I was seven, Brother Kirt was ((and still is)) 18 months younger), we would grab old straw brooms and play them as if they were guitars. Come to think of it, I guess we were pioneers of playing "air guitar." We had an RCA Victor radio and every afternoon after school, we'd listen to country music and sing along.

The country music recording artists of the day were singers like Hank Williams, Kitty Wells, Red Foley, Hank Snow and Bob Wills and his Texas Playboys. Bob Wills was already an established Texas swing and country music artist, with such notable hits as "Take Me Back To Tulsa", "Stay A Little longer", San Antonio Rose" and "Faded Love."

Hank Williams was one of the most popular and oft played singers on the charts, having barrage of number one and top ten hits in the early fifties, including "Kaw Liga", "Cold, Cold Heart", "Your Cheating Heart" and the incomparable "Lovesick Blues", a song which Williams was asked to do seven encores on the Grand Ole Opry.

My parents bought Brother Kirt and I a couple of plastic guitars and we learned to play them. Later on, in the sixth grade, my teacher Leroy Hall showed me some chords on the six string guitar and I, in turn, taught Brother Kirt what I had learned. The rest is history as Brother Kirt and I went on to perform together and formed a band. Our repertoire expanded with the rock and roll craze that came in the mid fifties.

This week, Johnnie Walker Black and I recorded an old Texas swing song which I have added to my YouTube site. Here's my latest recording. Remember, to mute my playlist on the left sidebar. For those of you who don't know the song, it's entitled "Right Or Wrong." For those of you who do know it, it's still entitled "Right Or Wrong." I hope you enjoy it.

The News As I See It: A new poll shows that only 19 percent of Americans strongly approve of President Obama’s performance. The other 81 percent don’t own gas stations.

According to the New York Post, the house from "Jersey Shore" is now for rent. But the hot tub was sent to the Centers for Disease Control for analysis.

The Pentagon announced that openly gay soldiers will begin serving this summer. When people asked why this summer, the Army said, "Because 'Glee' will be in reruns."

President Obozo said he misses being anonymous. He said that in the old days, he could blend in with all the other Hawaiian Barack Obamas.

Denny’s has announced that they will be opening as many as 50 restaurants in India. When they heard this, people in India said, "Hey, we’re hungry, but not that hungry."

Because of a holiday, the deadline for taxes is April 18, so you have three extra days to dig through restaurant dumpsters for receipts.

According to a CNN poll, Trump nearly doubled his support from March. Actually, he just combed his March numbers over his current ones.

Applebee’s apologized for serving a toddler a cup of tequila. They also apologized to the family for serving them food made by Applebee’s.

This Date In History: 1598; The Edict of Nantes gave religious tolerance to the Huguenots in France. 1742; Handel’s Messiah was first publicly performed in Dublin, Ireland. 1964; Sidney Poitier became the first African American to win the Academy Award for best actor.

1970; Apollo 13 announced "Houston, we've got a problem," when an oxygen tank burst on the way to the Moon. 1975; Civil War began in Lebanon when gunmen killed 4 Christian Phalangists who retaliated by killing 27 Palestinians.

1997; Tiger Woods became the youngest person to win the Masters Tournament and the first Black to win a major golf title. 2004; Barry Bonds hit his 661st homer, passing Willie Mays to take third place on the lifetime list.

Picture Of The Day: Hank Williams was probably one of the most influential artists in my music. An excellent composer and writer, Williams songs lamented the trials and tribulations of his relationship with wife Audrey and his pain was reflective in his music. Hank Williams died on New Years Day in 1953.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I used to be a lifeguard, but some blue kid got me fired. 2) Follow your dreams, except for that one where you're naked at work. 3) Today I was busier than a one-toothed man in a corn-on-the-cob eating contest. 4) The problem with sex in the movies is that I usually spill the popcorn. 5) My pal Jack is so old he shops at Extremely Old Navy.....and that's five!

Bonus Sixth: My friend went out with some friends last night and really tied one on. He got really plastered. So, in respect of our new drinking and driving laws, he did something that He had never done before. He took a bus and arrived home safe and warm, which is surprising because he had never driven a bus before.

Today's Birthday Horoscope: Aries - April 13th: The latin phrase for what you're feeling right now is: "Non semper inquisit damascus. Aroooooo ! Woof !". There's a little bit of dog language mixed in there too. Your future may be tainted by a mistake in your past. Now is the time for a new resolution. The pain in your foot will lessen today as the pain in your hand grows. You will start to feel animosity towards forms of public transport and its workers, simultaneously regretting having your foot injured in a closing door and punching the driver.

Next year will see the start of something great for you.This year will be good for you. I know this is a fairly general reading but then life is always full of ups and downs, balls and strikes and so on. Basically, the whole thing just cancels itself out. You'll see when the time comes. Destiny is calling you. Unfortunately destiny is blind as a mule with no head and is unlikely to have found anything decent for you. In fact, chances are destiny is trying to set you up with a mule with no head. Be warned the some lazy-boy reclining chairs can become dangerous if soaked in lime juice.

Birthdays: My pal Linda - Happy Birthday girl! 19XX, Thomas Jefferson, American president 1743, Butch Cassidy, outlaw 1866, Samuel Beckett, playwright 1906, Eudora Welty, novelist 1909, Ben Nighthorse Campbell, U.S. senator 1933, Seamus Heaney, poet 1939.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: In a rural program for farmers, a female TV reporter seeking the main cause of Mad Cow disease, arranged for an interview with a farmer who may have some theories on the matter. The lady reporter said, "I'm here to collect information on the possible sources of Mad Cow Disease. Can you offer any reason for this disease?" The farmer stared at the reporter and said, "Do you know that a bull mounts a cow only once a year?"

The lady reporter, obviously embarrassed, said, "Well, sir, that's a new piece of information but what's the relation between this phenomenon and Mad Cow disease?? The farmer continued, "And, ma'am, do you know that we milk a cow twice a day?"

The lady reporter responded, "Sir, this is really valuable information, but what about getting to the point?" The old farmer said, "I am getting to the point, ma'am. Just imagine, if I was playing with your tits twice a day and only screwing you once a year, wouldn't you go mad?"

A busload of politicians were driving down a country road, when suddenly the bus ran off the road and crashed into an old farmer's barn. The old farmer got off his tractor and went to investigate. Soon he dug a hole and buried the politicians.

A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus and asked the old farmer where all the politicians had gone. The old farmer told him he had buried them. The sheriff asked the old farmer, "Lordy, were they all dead?" The old farmer said, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them crooked politicians lie."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: My thanks to my pal Wally for his contribution to today's stories.

Two cowboys come upon an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground. One of the cowboys stops and says to the other, "You see that Indian? He's listening to the ground. He can hear things for miles in any direction." Just then the Indian looks up and says, "Covered wagon, about two miles away. Have two horses, one brown, one white. Man, woman, child, household effects in wagon."

The cowboy to his friend, "Amazing! This Indian knows how far away they are, how many horses, what color they are, who is in the wagon, and what is in the wagon." The cowboy says to the Indian, "Tell me how are you able to know this?" The Indian looks up and says, "Wagon ran over me about a half hour ago."

The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar one day and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said, "Who owns the big white horse outside?" The Lone Ranger stood up and said "I do. Why?" The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "I just thought you would like to know that your horse is just about dead outside."

The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside and sure enough, Silver was about dead from heat exhaustion. The Lone Ranger got him some water and made him drink it. Soon Silver was starting to feel better. The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, "Tonto, I want you to run around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him start to feel better." Tonto said, "Sure, Kemosabe", and took off running circles around Silver.

Not able to do anything but wait, the Lone Ranger returned to the bar to finish his drink. A few minutes later, another cowboy struts into the bar and announces, "Who owns that big white horse outside?" The Lone Ranger stands again and claims, "I do. What is wrong with him this time?" The cowboy says to him, "Nothin' much, I just wanted you to know....you left your Injun running."

That's it for now my little papooses. Remember, the trouble with life is that there's no background music. Speaking of music, AREA 51 sounds like a good idea. More on Friday.

Stay Tuned !