Friday, June 29, 2018

If You're Old Enough To Remember Seeing The Beatles Arrive In America in '64, It's Time To Have Your Yearly Prostate Exam

The Beatles arrived on Pan Am Flight 101 at New York’s John F. Kennedy Airport. on February 7, 1964.They didn’t really know what to expect. Even though they had a No. 1 hit with "I Want to Hold Your Hand," they’d heard enough stories about other British musicians who failed to connect in America.

An emotional crowd of somewhere between three and five thousand greeted the Beatles at the airport and "Beatlemania" had arrived. It was the first visit to the United States by the Beatles who had just scored their first Number One U.S. hit six days before with "I Want to Hold Your Hand."

At Kennedy, the "Fab Four" dressed in mod suits and sporting their trademark pudding bowl haircuts nearly caused a riot when the boys stepped off their plane and onto American soil. Two days later, Paul McCartney, age 21, Ringo Starr, 23, John Lennon, 23, and George Harrison, 20, made their first appearance on the Ed Sullivan Show.

Although it was difficult to hear the performance over the screams of teenage girls in the studio audience, an estimated 73 million U.S. television viewers, or about 40 percent of the U.S. population, tuned in to watch. Sullivan immediately booked the Beatles for two more appearances that month.

The rest, as they say, is history. The Beatles went on to become one of the most influential sounds in music and the number one band in sales. It was the best of times, back in the day, and I can say I was there to enjoy it......

The News As I See It: After 30 years on the bench, Justice  Kennedy is retiring from the Supreme Court. He's 81 years old, so he's going to go from sitting around in a robe all day to sitting around in a robe all day.

According to a new study, older people who have sex regularly tend to have better memories, while the people who walked in on them just want to forget.

I read a very interesting story in the newspaper today. For the younger readers, a newspaper is like the Internet but made of paper.

This Date In History: 1613; London's Globe Theatre burned down during a performance of Shakespeare's Henry VIII. 1767; The British Parliament approved the Townshend Acts. 1972; The Supreme Court ruled in Furman v. Georgia that the death penalty could constitute "cruel and unusual" prompting some states to revise their laws.

1995; The shuttle Atlantis and the Russian space station Mir docked, forming the largest man-made satellite ever to orbit Earth. 2003; Actress Katharine Hepburn died.

Picture Of The Day: The boys deplane.....

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) My girlfriend told me to stop pretending to be a flamingo, I just had to put my foot down. 2) One thing that both White and Black people know, but Spanish people do not, is that chicken is food, not a roommate. 3) As kids, we all used to skinny dip. Nowadays, most of us just chunky dunk. 4) Did you ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes and lottery tickets are always complaining about being broke and blaming it on the republicans? 5) They asked me who my friend was and I said, "His name is Sanjay although you may know him as Mike from Microsoft customer service.".....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Cancer - June 29th: Although you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, bear in mind that you can catch even more flies with manure. Take the time to shave closely tonight as the evening is showing signs of becoming memorable. Chance of romance is partly cloudy with a chance of reins, a whip and handcuffs .

Birthdays: George Goethals, engineer 1858, George Ellery Hale, astronomer 1868, James Van Der Zee, photographer 1886,  Antoine de Saint Exupéry, aviator 1900, Slim Pickens, cowboy and actor 1919,

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: I met a beautiful girl last night in the Area 51 bar. She just walked up and said, "Hi, my name's Carmen." I said, "That's a beautiful name. Is it a family name?"

She said, "No, I gave it to myself. It reflects the things I like most, cars and men. What's your name?" I said, "B.J. Titsenfishing."

Aunt Clara went to a new doctor to see what could be done about her troublesome constipation. She said to the doctor, "It's terrible! I haven't moved my bowels in more than a week."

The doctor said, "I see. Have you done anything about it?" Aunt Clara replied, "Oh, yes. I sit in the bathroom for a good half of an hour in the morning and then again at night."

The doctor said, "No, I mean do you take anything?" Aunt Clara answered, "Just a magazine..."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: In a murder trial, the defense attorney was cross-examining the coroner. The attorney asked, "Before you signed the death certificate, had you taken the pulse? The coroner replied, "No, I did not."

The attorney asked, "Did you listen to the heart?" The coroner answered, "No, I did not." The attorney: said, "Did you check for breathing?" The coroner said, "No."

The attorney said, "So, when you signed the death certificate, you weren't sure the man was dead, were you?" The coroner replied, "Well, let me put it this way. The man's brain was sitting in a jar on my desk. But I guess its possible he could be out there practicing law somewhere."

A woman stood up at her church's Testimony Meeting one Sunday morning, took the microphone from one of the church ushers and bared her soul to the congregation. "I want to tell you about the awful accident that my husband, Jim, suffered this past month."

She continued, "He was riding his motorcycle, lost control and hit a tree. He was rushed to the hospital and could have died, but thank the Lord, all he suffered was a broken scrotum."

The congregation gasped in horror. The men in the congregation were obviously uneasy and writhed in their seats. She continued, "Jim has been in terrible pain all month since the accident. He can hardly lift anything, he's in a lot pain and he has missed work because of it."

His wife added, "Worst of all, we can no longer cuddle and have intimate relations. He is in constant pain, a pain so terrible that our love life has all but slipped away into oblivion. I would like to ask you all in the congregation to pray for Jim and pray for us, that his broken scrotum will soon heal."

A dull murmur erupted within the congregation as the full impact of this terrible accident sank in and the men in the congregation were visibly shaken up with the thought that, "There, but for the grace of God, go I."

Then, as the murmuring settled down, a lone figure stood up in midst of the congregation, worked his way up to the pulpit, obviously in pain, adjusted the microphone to his liking, then leaned over and said to the congregation. "My name is Jim and I have only one word for my wife. Honey, the word is 'sternum'."

That's it for today, my little rosebuds Remember, memory is what tells a man his wedding anniversary was yesterday. I'm heading over to AREA 51 for happy hour.

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More next week.

Stay Tuned !

1 comment:

jack69 said...

I think my Sternum is broke too, Sex is scheduled less and less!
But to the old days, I sit here thinking and the only line I can remember from that hit by the beetles is the name and line, "I want to hold YOur hand!" I gotta google the words.! hahaha By the time the boys came over I had visited the USMC, the USAF and headed for the USN! But I sorta liked 'em cause my girl did!