We always had an area that we are allowed to roam and play, usually within a two block radius of the house. Being caught beyond those boundaries meant a good ass whipping and confinement to the house for a period of time. My mother had a special whistle when she wanted us to come home and everyone in the neighborhood knew the sound of that whistle. I'm not referring to the type of whistle that a football referee uses. I'm talking about pursing one's lips and whistling. Nevertheless, Mom's whistle could be heard from blocks away and the old "I didn't hear your whistle" excuse usually fell on deaf ears. The weekend before Easter, Mom would take us to the store and buy us new clothes for Easter Sunday. Sister Jeanne always got a pretty new dress and shoes and Brother Kirt and I either got a new suit (pictured above) or new shirts for our older suits. We pretty much knew that our Sunday school clothes were never going to be worn to school and were reserved for church. While Mom was interested in having the children look nice at church, we were much more interested in getting home from church for the Easter egg hunt.
Mom always took special care in preparing our Easter baskets, making sure that each kid's basket was exactly the same. She would out the "special egg" that we wrote our names on in the front of the basket so we would know which basket was ours. There were some small creme candy eggs that were covered in chocolate, but the insides were white and each had it's own flavor. Besides the chocolate rabbit, the Reese's peanut butter eggs were my favorites. I can close my eyes and still taste them.....
Friday: Going to church on Easter Morning. To be continued..... The News As I See It: During a fund raising trip to California, some young Republicans took the Republican Party credit card to a club in Hollywood that has nude dancers doing bondage shows. Usually when Republicans find themselves in dark rooms with whips and chains, it’s in Dick Cheney’s basement. It must be very embarrassing for the people involved. I’m sure the strippers didn’t want anyone to know they were hanging out with politicians. President Obozo made a surprise visit to Afghanistan this weekend. I guess after 14 months in Washington, he wanted to go somewhere where there was less fighting. It was a pretty quick trip. In fact, it happened so fast, Joe Biden didn’t even get a chance to say something stupid about it. Actually, Biden isn't very bright to begin with. He showed up at the White House Passover Seder with a bunch of ham sandwiches.
The president met with Afghanistan’s President Hamid Karzai. Obama demanded more accountability, a crackdown on corruption, and a better government. He said that if it works in Afghanistan, he’s going to try it in the United States. Obozo also said this week that adjustments will need to be made to the new healthcare law. In fact, it’s getting so many adjustments, Obozo’s now calling it "the Heidi Montag of congressional bills."
Sarah Palin has been campaigning for select Republicans including John McCain, who’s in a tough Senate race in Arizona. How does he introduce her? "And now the young woman who cost me the presidency."
Former NFL coach Jimmy Johnson is touting Extenze, a scam that claims to make the male penis larger. Either Johnson needs money badly or he is as stupid as he acts. Since Johnson is an egotistical dick, It will be interesting to see if, by using Extenze, he gets taller.
Ricky Martin recently announced that he is gay. On his Web site, he wrote "I’m a fortunate, homosexual man." That’s like Larry King coming out as "old." I think it's safe to say that this was a case of "Didn’t need to ask, didn’t need to tell." Sandra Bullock and her husband may get a divorce. Even people who thought Ricky Martin was straight saw that one coming.
This Date In History: 1492; Queen Isabella and King Ferdinand of Spain expelled Jews who would not accept Christianity. 1889; The Eiffel Tower in Paris officially opened. 1917; The United States took possession of the Virgin Islands. 1918; Daylight Saving Time went into effect in the United States. 1949; Newfoundland became Canada's tenth province.
1959; The Dalai Lama, fleeing Chinese repression of an uprising in Tibet, arrived at the Indian border and was granted political asylum. 1968; President Lyndon Johnson announced that he would not run for re-election. 1995; Mexican-American singer Selena Quintanilla-Perez, 23, is shot by the president of her fan club in Corpus Christi, Texas.
1995; Major League Baseball players agreed to end the sport’s longest strike in history after a judge ordered a preliminary injunction against team owners. Picture Of The Day: Easter pictures dominate this week and I can't envision a more pleasant scene than a child waking up on Easter Sunday to see what the Easter Bunny brought.
Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) When I was young, I asked my father what Easter Bunny helpers get for making a basket? He told me, "Two points, just like anyone else." 2) One thing I enjoy about Easter is that I can hide my own eggs. 3) When one breeds an angora rabbit with an Easter Bunny is that a cross hair? 4) A receding hairline is ten rabbits marching backward. 5) There's nothing better than a good friend, except a good friend with chocolate.....and that's five !
Birthdays: My pal Jackie in Alabama. Happy Birthday Baby! René Descartes, scientist, philosopher 1596, Franz Haydn, composer 1732, Nikolai Gogol, short-story writer, novelist 1809, Robert Wilhelm Bunsen, scientist 1811, Jack Johnson, boxer 1878, Octavio Paz, poet and critic 1914, Cesar Chavez, American labor leader 1927, Albert Gore, Jr., former vice president 1948. The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar and Grill: An old man walked into a crowded doctor's office. As he approached the desk, the receptionist asked, "Yes sir, may we help you?" The old man said, "There's something wrong with my dick." The receptionist became aggravated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded office and say things like that." The old man said, "Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you." The receptionist said, "We do not use language like that here. Please go outside and come back in and say that there's something wrong with your 'ear' or whatever."
The man walked out, waited several minutes and reentered. The receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?" The old man said, "There's something wrong with my 'ear'." The receptionist nodded approvingly, "And what is wrong with your ear, sir?" The old man said, "I can't piss out of it."
A young mother paying a visit to a doctor friend and his wife made no attempt to restrain her five-year-old son, who was ransacking an adjoining room. But finally, an extra loud clatter of bottles did prompt her to say, "I hope you don't mind Johnny being in there." The doctor calmly, "No, he'll quiet down when he gets to the poisons." The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A middle-aged woman seemed sheepish as she visited her gynecologist. The doctor said, "Come now, you've been seeing me for years! There's nothing you can't tell me." The woman said, "This one's kind of strange. Yesterday I went to the bathroom in the morning and heard a plink-plink in the toilet and when I looked down, the water was full of pennies." The Doctor said, "I see. Go on."
She continued, "That afternoon, I went again and there were nickels in the bowl and this morning, there were dimes and quarters! You've got to tell me what's wrong with me! I'm scared out of my wits!" The gynecologist put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "There, there, it's nothing to be scared about. You're simply going through the change"
A woman went to her doctor for a follow-up visit after the doctor had prescribed testosterone for her. She was a little worried about some of the side effects she was experiencing. She said to the doctor, "The hormones you've been giving me have really helped, but I'm afraid that you're giving me too much. I've started growing hair in places that I've never grown hair before."
The doctor reassured her, ''A little hair growth is a perfectly normal side effect of testosterone. Just where has this hair appeared?' The woman said, "On my balls, which is something else I want to talk to you about." It was following the resurrection and disciples were still somewhat scattered about Jerusalem and the surrounding villages. John finds Peter and runs up to him. Excitedly he says, "Peter, Peter! I've got some good news and some bad news." Peter takes hold of John and calms him down saying, "Take it easy, John. What is it? What's the good news?"
John says, "The good news is Christ is risen." Peter says, "That's great! But, what's the bad news?" John, looking around, says, "He's really pissed about last Friday."
That's it for today my little Easter peeps. Remember, a lot of people have heard opportunity knocking at the door, but by the time they unlocked the chain, pushed back the bolt, turned two locks, and shut off the burglar alarm, it was gone. It's Hump Day and I'm going to AREA 51 for Happy Hour, More on Friday. Stay Tuned !