Monday, June 22, 2009

It's Been Just One Of Those Days !

I should have suspected something when today's plan for two eggs, sunny side up, was amended to become a cheese omelette, when, upon breaking the eggs, the yellow in each, broke. Since my heart really wasn't set on how to make the morning breakfast, I wrote it off to my not paying attention and proceeded to cook breakfast. Even sloshing a bit of my coffee onto the kitchen floor did not even suggest the makings of a bad day.

Undeterred, I walked over to the corner bakery and ordered some Cuban coffee and two ham and two chicken croquettes. The woman who normally takes care of me was busy and I got the new girl instead. A rather matronly woman, she asked me (in Spanish) for my order and since I speak Spanish her, I answered in kind. She asked if I wanted the croquettes separated and I said no. When she brought the order, she forgot the Cuban coffee. When I reminded her, she said that my hurried (?) order made her forget the coffee.

I escaped the bakery intact and when I returned home, both the cable and the Internet were out. Shrugging it off, I went to eat my croquettes and have some Cuban coffee. Alas, Senora Pms had only put two croquettes (and charged me for four). At this point in time, I'm beginning to realize this might be a bad day. This also thwarts my idea about going to the bathroom to take Ralph for a walk, because everything I've touched so far has turned into caca.

Since I have a few appointments this afternoon (and the weatherman is predicting a monsoon) we'll see what the rest of the day has to offer. I'm hoping the worst that can happen is that my appointments are all near AREA51 where I might end up taking refuge. To Be Continued.....

Friday's post on misused and mispronounced words was fun and you, my faithful little readers, came up with some real good ones. I'm compiling a list of these words (a new addition being "duck" tape in lieu of duct tape) and I think I'm going to make a future entry using all of them. If you have any more suggestions, please leave them in you comments because I think we can have some fun with this idea.

This Date In History: 1377; Upon the death of his grandfather, Edward III, Richard II becomes king of England, aged 10. 1535; Cardinal John Fisher is executed for refusing to accept Henry VIII as head of the Church. 1679; A revolt by Scottish Covenanters is crushed by an army commanded by the Duke of Monmouth at Battle of Bothwell Bridge, in Lanarkshire.

1941; Breaking the non-aggression pact signed by the two countries in 1939, Nazi Germany invades the Soviet Union.

1977; Former US attorney-general John Mitchell begins serving his sentence for his role in the Watergate Scandal, becoming the first US attorney-general to go to prison. 1978; American astronomer James W. Christy discovers that the dwarf planet Pluto has a moon, which he names Charon.

Picture Of The Day: I found a few pictures that Iiked and none have much to do with the other, I just liked 'em. Since one of my part-time projects is finding any picture that makes Nancy Pelosi look like a bigger fool than she actually is, I found one of her and a great use of duct (aka duck tape for the hard of understanding and speaking). The picture of Iran's president Imadinnerjacket also amused me. I hope you like today's choices.

Birthdays: Julian Huxley, biologist and author 1887, Erich Maria Remarque, German-American novelist 1898, Billy Wilder, Austrian-born American film director, writer, and producer 1906, Katherine Dunham, American dancer and choreographer 1909.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol. 2) I never raised my hands to my kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. 3) I'm not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain. 4) My mother started walking 5 miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now and I have no idea where she is! 5) An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with fools.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: Thanks to my pal, Garnett, for the following story.

An older gentleman had an appointment to see the urologist who shared offices with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients. As he approached the receptionist's desk, he noticed that the receptionist was a large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler. He gave her his name and in a very loud voice, the receptionist said, "Yes, I have your name right here. You want to see the doctor about impotence, right?"

All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at the very embarrassed man. He recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied, "No, I've come to inquire about a sex change operation, but I don't want the same doctor that did yours."

Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values. Stuart said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?" Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?

A farmer was driving along the road with a load of horse manure. A little boy, playing in front of his house, saw him and called, "What've you got in your truck?" The farmer replied. "Horse manure." The little boy said, What are you going to do with it?" The farmer replied, "Put it on strawberries," The little boy said, "You ought to live here, we put sugar and cream on ours."

The divorce court judge said, "Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully, and I've decided to give your wife $775 a week." "That's very fair, your honor." The husband said "That's very fair, your honor and every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself !"

That's it for today my little pop tarts. More on Wednesday.

Stay Tuned !


garnett109 said...

Duct tape we use to call it 100mph tape, it goes fast.

Julie said...

Loved that last joke. Hope your day gets better.

Paula said...

Sweet elephant picture. We have to watch 'em at Chile Bandera when we buy our breakfast tacos. They advertise out front one price but when they see the gringoes coming the price suddenly goes up.

Martha said...

Yikes Jimmy, sounds like me! I've had "One of those days" since Saturday morning!

I hope the rest of the day was better and hope you make it to Area 51.

I have a friend who always writes Wander when she means Wonder - I wander why? It's like fingernails on a chalkboard to me! Hmmm, can't think of anymore at the moment, my brain isn't functioning properly, LOL! I pop back over if I think of anything else - I know there are many others.

Now I'm off to grab a cold one and head to Area 51 myself :-)

Melanie said...

hope your day got much better....

Hey is Mr. Hemmingway ok he hasnt written in a while? hope he is ok


Linda's World said...

Good one once again, my friend. "Duct tape the hanyman's secret weapon" so says Red Green. Have a good evening...hoping the monsoon doesn't hit Florida. Linda in Washington were at the moment it's 67* and not raining.

Missie said...

I can never make an omlette. I always end up with scrambled eggs! LOL

Have a good week!

Heli gunner Tom said...

I noticed that most ghetto folks use the term: ax, instead of ask.
My English Prof in college said that a person's mother has a lot to do with her children s' pronunciation of words.
That makes sense because she spend most of the early yeas time with them before they get to school, IMHO.

Tom S

Senorita said...

Glad I'm not the only one. Today really sucked for me too. I had two embarrassing things happen to me back to back today. I hope tomorrow is a better day.

Rose said...

Darling,sorry your day started off badly and didn't get much better as the day progressed!

Think positive,it's only Monday!

What do you think of this freaking heat! I thought I was going to gag walking out the door to do one errand!


Joann said...

Mayonaise ~ I've heard MANaise, Melonaise, and Menaise.... nobody ever says MAYonaise... except ME, am I wrong?? Should I just stick to mustard??

Hope your day got better!!

Pamela said...

Can't wait to see what you do with all those words. LOL!

Hope your day ended up ok.

REGINA said...

jimmy, you might just have to eat your words, or at least one of them. there is actually a brand of "duct" tape called "DUCK" tape. we have it here in the south, but don't know about where you are.

did you ever get your other 2 croquettes?????