Saturday, July 8, 2017
My Car Died, But I Have Options
I made through my hospital stay, then my car died. With help from Brother Kirt, Sister Jeanne and some good friends, I'm in the process of getting another car. So far, so good, right? Wrong! Sister Jeanne's car committed Hari Kari and we start over, again.
Kirt and Jeanne have very helpful as I go through this rebuilding process and it breaks my heart that Jeanne's car is broken and I can't do a damned thing to help. Both of us are currently without a car and it's driving me crazy. So, we're gathering money where we can and moving on.
Nevertheless, we'll plug on and take each day as it comes. I'll keep you posted.
The News As I See It: A company in New York City has opened what some are calling a nonalcoholic cocktail bar that creates drinks using lemons and herbal ingredients instead of alcohol. And this is cool, they’re using empty chairs instead of customers.
A new poll found that 10 percent of people post vacation photos on social media to make others jealous, and 100 percent of people click on them to see co-workers in a bathing suit.
In a recent survey, people from Chicago have proved to be the most likely to have had sex in the shower! The survey, carried out for leading toiletries firm Brut, show that a huge 86% of Chicago residents say they have enjoyed sex in the shower. The other 14% say they hadn't been to prison.
This Date In History: 1456; Twenty-five years after her execution, Pope Calixtus III annulled the heresy charges brought against Joan of Arc. 1797; William Blount of Tennessee became the first U.S. senator to be impeached. 1846; Commodore John D. Sloat occupied Monterey and declared California annexed to the United States.
1898; The United States annexed Hawaii. 1946; Mother Frances Xavier Cabrini, who directed the establishment of hospitals, orphanages, nurseries, and schools in the U.S. and Latin America, became the first U.S. citizen to be canonized.
1954; An Elvis Presley recording was played on the radio for the first time. 1981; President Ronald Reagan nominated Sandra Day O'Connor for the Supreme Court. 2005; 52 people were killed and hundreds injured in London when terrorists bombed subways and a bus.
Picture Of The Day: My newest ride.......
Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) Apples are actually bad for your health! Scientists have discovered that everyone who ate an Apple during the 15th Century is now dead. 2) The first 600 years or so of heaven are just harp lessons 3) Apparently you can't just say, "Not my circus, not my monkeys," and leave your kids at the store. 4) Sometimes I'm right. Other times my girlfriend is close enough to hear what I'm saying. 5) It's good to know that if they ever release a lion in Walmart you only have to run faster than the fat lady with the zebra print pants on.....and that's five !
Today's Horoscope: Cancer - July 7th: Romantic gestures will flourish forth today from the cup of love you hold in your heart. Destiny will help you discover that you are not intended to be alone. Do not fret or languish, for chastity is curable, if detected early.
Birthdays: Joseph Jacquard, inventor 1752, Gustav Mahler, composer, conductor 1860, Marc Chagall, painter 1887, Leroy "Satchel" Paige, American baseball player 1906, Robert A. Heinlein, science-fiction writer 1907, Pierre Cardin, fashion designer 1922, Ringo Starr, musician 1940, Michelle Kwan, figure skater 1980.
The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: An old man goes into a brothel and tells the madam he would like a young girl for the night. Surprised, she looks at the man and asks how old he is.
The old man responds, "I'm 90 years old." The woman says, "90 years old? Don't you realize you've had it?" The old man says, "Oh, sorry. How much do I owe you?"
Two old men, Saul and Hiram, are discussing the local gossip at the Shady Elm Retirement Home when eighty-year-old Sadie walks by.
Sadie says. "Hiya Boys!" The old men nod in acknowledgement and Hiram whispers to Saul, "That Sadie's a fox but she has a foul mouth. The other night she used the word 'F*ck'."
Murray said, "Sadie, that sweet old lady? When did she say that?" Hiram said, "Right after the old lady sitting next to her yelled, 'Bingo!'"
The Hits Just Keep On Coming: An elderly man lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died and he went to the parish priest and asked if he would say a mass for his poor departed pet.
The priest replied, "I'm afraid not. We cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane."
The old man said, "I'll go right away Father. Do ya think $5000 is enough to donate to them for the service?" The priest exclaimed, "Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn't ya tell me the dog was Catholic?"
One morning a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny trail and tripped over a large snake and fell right on his twitchy little nose. The bunny said, "Oh please excuse me. I didn't mean to trip over you, but I'm blind and can't see.
The snake replied, "That's perfectly all right. To be sure, it was my fault. I didn't mean to trip you, but I'm blind too and I didn't see you coming. By the way what kind of animal are you?" The bunny said, "Well, I really don't know. I'm blind, and I've never seen myself. Maybe you could examine me and find out."
So the snake felt the bunny all over, and he said, "Well, you're soft, and cuddly, you have long silky ears, a little fluffy tail and a dear twitch little nose. You must be a bunny rabbit." The bunny said, "I can't thank you enough. But, by the way, what kind of animal are you?"
The snake replied that he didn't know either and the bunny agreed to examine him. When the bunny was finished the snake asked, "Well, what kind of animal am I?" The bunny had felt the snake all over, and he replied, "You're cold, you're slippery and you haven't any balls....... You must be a politician."
That's it for today, my little doodle bugs. Remember, it takes 42 muscles to frown and only 1 to extend your middle finger and say, "Bite me." I'm heading over to AREA 51 for happy hour.
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More next week.
Stay Tuned !