Friday, February 6, 2009

It's A Good Day For Gnus - Please Dress Accordingly !

Nascar begins the 2009 racing season at the Daytona International Speedway Saturday night with the running of the Budweiser Shootout. A record 28 cars will start the race which begins at 8:00 p.m. on the Fox Channel. Dale Earnhardt Jr., is the defending champion of this race and will start the race from the ninth position. The race should be exciting and is the start of Speedweeks at Dayona culminating with the Daytona 500 on February 15th.

If you've never watched Nascar stock car racing, this week and next week will be a great and exciting opportunity to see how it works. Imagine, if you will, 43 cars racing three abreast, on a 2.5 mile banked super speedway at speeds of over 200 miles per hour. I assure you that you'll find the race very exciting.

In The News: Barry Bonds is in court again facing perjury charges that he lied about taking steroids. Despite the fact that his head and body have obviously grown since his younger playing days, he insists he has never "knowingly" taken steroids. Test results and sworn testimonies attesting to the fact that Bonds did indeed take steroids are now in jeopardy as there is a chance that the judge will not let the evidence be allowed. Another fine example of the government in action. I guess it's the new fashion that seems to be sweeping america.

Speaking of useless boobs, A woman named Sheyla Herschey claims to have the world's largest boobs measuring an astounding 38kkk. While I appreciate the novelty of those bad boys, Ms. Herschey will learn that sooner or later, gravity works and methinks she'll be wheeling those puppies around in a wheelbarrow in her later years.

As for boobs, the basic requirement that most men hope for is that women have 'em. It's not that we're culling tomatos here ladies. If you got 'em, you're in! Personally, I don't like implants unless they're medically indicated. Too much unnecessary cosmetic surgery is dangerous and stupid.

Remember to send me your pet pictures for Possum's Journal who is featuring "Pets Of The Week" every Friday. The pics can be of anything you like and if you don't have a pet, disguise your spouse or mate and send one anyway. Send the pics to and you can see Possum's post to today at

This Date In History: 1820; Largely through the work of the American Colonization Society, the first organized immigration of freed American slaves departs from New York for Sierra Leone, West Africa. 1899; The Spanish-American War peace treaty is ratified by a margin of just one vote after an intense fight in the United States Senate.

1918; Victory for the Suffragettes as the Representation of the People Act gives all women over 30 and all men over 21 the vote. 1952; King George VI dies and is succeeded by Elizabeth II.

Picture Of The Day: There are very few days that I draw a blank when searching for pictures, but today is one of them. Most of today's pictures are shots that caught my eye as I was surfing through my portfolio. I hope you like them.

Birthdays: Queen Anne, British monarch 1665, Henry Irving, actor 1838, Babe Ruth, American baseball player (1895)Babe Ruth, American baseball player 1895, Fran├žois Truffaut, French film director 1932.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy looking like he'd just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is bruised and he is walking with a limp. Sean the bartender says, "What happened to you?" Paddy says, "Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight." Sean says, "That little shit, O'Conner ? He couldn't do that to you, he must of had something in his hand."

Paddys says, "That he did. A shovel is what he had, and a terrible licking he gave me with it" Sean says, "You should have defended yourself, didn't you have something in your hand?" Paddy says, "That I did. It was Mrs. O'Conner's right breast, and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight."

While attending a marriage seminar on communication, Wally and his wife Carolyn listened to the instructor declare, "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other." He addressed the men, "Can you describe your wife's favorite flower?"

Wally leaned over, touched Carolyn's arm gently and whispered, "Pillsbury All-Purpose, isn't it honey?" And thus began Wally's life of celibacy....

A woman walked into a jewelry store and walked to the bracelet display. She saw an exquisite piece she liked and when she leaned over to see the bracelet more closely, she inadvertently passed gas. Embarrassed, she looked around quickly to see if anyone had heard the unfortunate event and when she turned around, a handsome young salesman approached her.

In a nervously attempt to diffuse the situation, she pointed to the bracelet and said to the salesman, "Young man, how much is that bracelet." The salesman replied, "Well lady, if you farted when you saw the bracelet, you're gonna shit when you hear the price."

That's it for today my little twenty-four carat wind passers. Have a safe and great weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !


Rose said...

OMIG...those boobs look like an ass up front!

I do love the couple dancing photo.

Hugs, Rose

Heli gunner Tom said...

WE think the same about Boobs. I dated a pretty lady older than me who had some big 20 pounds a piece breast that always got looks from men, but she confided in me that they hurt her back-- and eventually had surgery to remove some of them down to a 36 C. I was in love with her, but after she found out that I had some big debts in 1995, she backed off like a scalded cat... boo hoo....


garnett109 said...

Jimmy I sent you a picture of a monkey I wonder if you got it LOL!

Paula said...

In reference to the boobs--you can have too much of a good thing.

Julie said...

Now I know what they did with my boobs when I reduced them. 2 back surgeries later she can have them and what a shame her only claim to fame is a pair of jelly filled. Brain must be also. Loved the jokes today.

Missie said...

Enjoy your weekend.

Martha said...

38kkk?!!! WTF is wrong with that woman! Have a great weekend Jimmy - pass me a Bud will ya? :-)

Anne said...

Ah! NEVER trust a fart! Anne

Joann said...

I LOVE the one about Paddy Murphy and Jamie O'Connor...LOLOL!!!!

Linda's World said...

I saw the story on TV about the woman who keeps wanting her boobs made bigger. Apparently there's not a plastic surgeon in the U.S. that will enhance them anymore. She may have to go to Brazil. Mine are big naturally and I hate it. It causes my back to ache and my shoulders to hurt. I was approved for a reduction about 4 years ago but backed out when a friend of mine had some severe complications after having the same procedure. Now that I'm on Medicare it will never happen. The woman is a nut case...just like the one that just had 8 babies after already having 6 at home to care for. Linda in WA

Kelly said...

I saw NASCAR on last night, but passed it over to finish the good book I was reading. That woman is going to have some real back trouble sooner than later! What a Kelly

Coelha :B said...

My husband bought a big flat screen T.V. just for Nascar next weekend.. :) I admit, I think it's kind of silly-but cute. As for woman with the boobs...I would hate to feel the back pain! Ouch. I predict a breast reducement will come before she hits 30. Julie