Wednesday, February 25, 2009

What's A Trillion Dollars Between Friends?

The Prez did his bit last night and overall, I think he did rather well. But, talk is cheap and since the proof is in the pudding, I'll reserve judgement until I see what really is going to happen. For the most part, CNN, in its zeal to keep their noses firmly up Obama's ass, spilled most of the beans in advance and I didn't hear any unexpected news. I do, however, think that Obama left his gloom and doom rhetorical face in the dressing room and was quite positive in his outlook for America's future.

The fun part of the speech was watching Democratic Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi in her role as the cheerleader of the group applauding vigorously on every word uttered by President Obama and the first to jump up to lead a standing ovation every time the President farted. While Vice President Joe Biden seemed to be listening to the President in earnest, Pelosi's eyes continued to flit between looking at herself in the monitor and watching the teleprompter for her next standing cheer.

On a side note, Representitive Eliot Engal (D-Bronx, N.Y.) arrived at the house chambers at 8:30 A.M. and waited all day in his seat so that he could be among the congressmen in the front row (seats are not asigned and based on first come, first seated) and make sure he was on television.

Uh....Elliot, this was not a Madonna concert. You should have been in your office working for the people instead of camping out for a concert seat. Perhaps you didn't get the's time for change.

The Grocery Shopping Trip - Part II: The Deli - Bakery Area

I've always liked the Deli-Bakery area because of the wonderful assortment of foods, cakes and pastries. The mouth watering aroma of the bakery wafts throughout the area and seems to stimulate the senses. I always make it my last stop before checkout because there's usually a line of people waiting to place their orders.

The obligatory "take-a-ticket" ofttimes turned me off in my younger days because I always seemed to be in a hurry and I usually would just stop by the pre-packaged meats and pick up sandwich meat. Most of the sandwich meat was used for school lunches and I figured ham was ham, so what's the difference?

As the years passed and I was single again, I spent more leisure time shopping for groceries and then, more time in the deli-bakery area. I'd scout the area, getting an idea of what I wanted to buy and after completing the more mundane part of the shopping list, return to the deli-bakery area. I'd then grab my ticket and wait to be served.

One day as I was waiting in line, a strikingly beautiful woman strolled up beside me, took her ticket and asked me, "Have you been waiting long?" I answered, "All of my life." She blushed and then pushed her cart to the middle part of the area where she was joined by her husband and two pre-teen children. I put on my best "damn, I forgot something in aisle three" face and pushed my cart toward the closest way out of the area, casually placing my wadded up ticket into the assorted packaged cookie display.

Upon arriving home that particular day, I took a look at myself in the mirror to see how I was dressed. Although I didn't quite look like something my cat, Shithead, would have dragged in, I certainly wasn't at my best. I decided that day that I would take the time to eat breakfast and dress better before going grocery shopping. After all, I never knew when opportunity might rear its elusive head.

On future shopping trips, I began to notice there were always a number of lovely lasses in the "St. Tropez" area, especially on Saturdays and Sundays. Although my main reason for going to Publix was to purchase groceries, this new found sport would make the experience so much the better.

I will tell you that I have met several women in my little "St. Tropez Deli-Bakery." As advertised, Publix has made my shopping experience more pleasurable and that's not even considering discounts, in-store sales and the free samples.

On Friday, I take you with me for the dreaded "Checkout Experience" and the reason why I never carry a loaded weapon while waiting to pay for my groceries.

This Date In History: 1601; Robert Devereux, 2nd Earl of Essex, is beheaded for treason on the orders of Elizabeth I. 1723; Sir Christopher Wren, architect, scientist, and mathematician, best known as the architect of St Paul’s Cathedral, dies aged 90. 1956; Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev condemns Stalin in a secret speech to the Communist Party Congress.

1983; Tennessee Williams, American playwright and Pulitzer Prize-winner, dies in New York aged 71. 1986; President Ferdinand Marcos flees the Philippines as opposition leader, Corazon Aquino, is sworn in as president.

Picture Of The Day: This year will determine the direction America will head in the future and I certainly wouldn't want to have to make some of the decisions that need to be made. My hope is that President Obama makes the correct decisions and borrowing one trillion dollars from China is something that I would not do. For my children and grandchildren's sake, I hope I'm wrong

Birthdays: Carlo Goldoni, Italian playwright 1707, Pierre Auguste Renoir, French Impressionist painter 1841, John Foster Dulles, US politician 1888 Myra Hess, pianist 1890, George Harrison, former Beatle 1943, Neil Jordan, Irish film director 1950.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I love chocolate anything....cake, candy, milk, mousse, pie, ice cream....! 2) My Mom made me an Easter basket every year until the day that she died. I miss my Mom! 3) I have a secret fishing spot in the Florida Everglades and there has never been a time that I went there that I did not catch bass. 4) On a late night out many years ago, I was invited to sing with a group of musician buddies who were playing at one of my watering holes. I came onstage and promptly forgot every word of the song. 5) I was a senior in high school when the Cuban missile crisis was going on. Miami was full of troops and artillery and we were very worried.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

Rufus was taking his wife, who was pregnant with twins, to the hospital when his car went out of control and crashed. Upon regaining consciousness, he saw his brother Willie, sitting at his bed side. He asked his brother how his wife was and his brother replied, "Don't worry, everybody is fine and you have a son and a daughter. But the hospital was in a real hurry to get the birth certificates filed and since both you and your wife were unconscious, I named them for you." Rufus was thinking to himself, "Oh no, what has he done now?" and said, "Well what did you name them?" The brother replied, "I named the little girl Denise." The husband, relieved, said, "That's a very pretty name! What did you come up with for my son?" The brother replied, "Denephew."

A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of the place. The farmer had genuinely tried to be friendly to his new mother-in-law, hoping that it could be a friendly, non-antagonistic relationship. To no avail, she kept nagging them at every opportunity, demanding changes, offering unwanted advice and making life unbearable to the farmer and his new bride.

While they were walking through the barn, the farmer's mule suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in-law in the head, killing her instantly. At the funeral service a few days later, the farmer stood near the casket and greeted folks as they walked by.

The pastor noticed that whenever a man would whisper something to the farmer, he would nod his head yes and say something. Whenever a man walked by and whispered to the farmer, however, he would shake his head, no and mumble a reply.

Very curious as to this bizarre behavior, the pastor later asked the farmer what that was all about. The farmer replied, "The women would said, 'What a terrible tragedy' and I nodded my head, 'Yes, it was.' The men asked, 'Can I borrow that mule?' and I shook my head and said, 'I can't, it's booked up solid for a year.'

That's it for today my little sweet potatos. More on Friday.

Stay Tuned !


Missie said...

Have a good night!

garnett109 said...

I met my x wife in a shoe factory 4 years later i gave her the boot.

Adirondackcountrygal said...

This was a great entry. I too found the President's speech very amusing. Not the speech itself but the way the congressmen and senators acted. You would of thought it was Jesus that was in the room the way they were gathering around and grinning and trying to get some attention.

Julie said...

I heard that Nancy Pelosi had all the kleenix in her office replaced with toilet paper since she brown noses so much, can't stand that woman. However....I loved your post, giggle, the jokes were great as the entire post was.

Paula said...

Good entry. Wish I wouldn't have missed the President's speech. I too like anything wrapped in chocolate. Well almost anything.

Linda's World said...

Even the liberal half of 'The View' panel said that if Nancy Pelosi would have stayed in her seat, the speech would have been over in about 20 minutes. Poor Joe Biden could barely get to his feet everytime she jumped out of her chair. She's a real piece of work. Another great entry...Linda

Anne said...

hmmmm, I going to have to stroll over to the deli-bakery dept. more often. I can't get out of the cucumber dept. Anne

Rose said...

You Shark you! So, I'll be looking for you walking up and down the isles in Publix! LOL

I don't know anyone that would want to be in Obama's shoes right now in the middle of this horrible mess our country is in! I have to cheer the man on because it's our butts that will be better for it if he does well....don't you think?

I would love to see the Market go back up and less people on the streets begging for money and food like I saw today in Boca on Glades Road! It was sad.........

Did you see on TV that most states have what they call "Tent City" for all the people that lost their homes? I cried. So, I want our President to do well and help get us out of this huge MESS!


nance said...

I like reading about things you never told us...

Take care!


Missy said...

Ha ha! On the hunt for women at the grocery store.. I guess you never know who you are going to run into though..


Heli gunner Tom said...

Frankly, I am suffering form Obama- burn out. And fight, write, post as I may, I am just one old man trying to make others aware of the corruption going down in America-- right in front of our eyes! 52% of Americans were totally stupid for electing that baboon! I promise that things will get more interesting every day, including the Stock Market.

Tom S

Karen said...

your story sparked memories of my ongoing single life, only this was back in my 40s...ahhh, what fond memories. thanks for the spark!