Friday, July 31, 2009

This Bud's For You !

On Thursday evening, President Obama, Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates and Sgt. James Crowley, the policeman who arrested him, sat down together on the White House to have a beer and discuss the incident. Prior to the meeting, the White House reported that Obama had selected Budweiser Light (Bud Light), Gates selected a Red Stripe (a Jamaican beer) and Crowley asked for a Blue Moon (a Belgian-style wheat beer also known as white ale).

The meeting got off to a rough start when a neighbor called the police to say Gates was breaking into the White House. The problem was quickly remedied when President Obama arrived, checked Gates ID and the meeting continued.

The beer summit went well and I have the official beer tally. President Obama and Sgt. Crowley stayed with their announced choices, but Professor Gates changed it up a bit and drank a Sam Adams Light.

Joe Biden, who joined the other three to equal things out racially, enjoyed a nonalcoholic brew called Buckler. Biden's choice of nonalcoholic beer delighted the president because Biden often sticks his foot in his mouth even when he's sober.

Each person remarked about his own choice of beer with the exception of Biden who was happy with whatever fit in his beer helmet. I understand the meeting went so well went so well that Biden had to go out twice for ice. The only other interruption in the beer party was when Obama stood up and announced that he had to take a presidential leak.

Budweiser (Anheuser-Busch InBev, now owned by a company headquartered in Belgium) was so happy with Obama's selection of Bud Light that they're changing its nickname from “The King of Beers” to the “The Martin Luther King of Beers.”

"Hey, come on....There's a beer party at the White House and we're late !"

This Date In History: 1777; The Continental Congress appoints the Marquis de Lafayette, a French volunteer soldier, a major general in the Continental Army at the age of 19. 1790; The new US Patent Office gives Samuel Hopkins the first US patent, for his process for making potash and pearl ashes. 1917; The World War I Battle of Passendale starts, a British offensive resulting in heavy losses on both sides. 1919; Germany adopts the Weimar Constitution, which provides the basis for government in the country until Adolf Hitler seizes power in 1933.

1941; German field marshal Hermann Göring sends a directive to Nazi security director Reynhard Heydrich, ordering him to prepare a "final solution to the Jewish question": the extermination of the Jews. 1991; US President George Bush and Russian President Mikail Gorbachev agree to reduce their stockpiles of nuclear warheads by a third, singing the Strategic Arms Reduction Treat (START) in Moscow.

Picture Of The Day: I thought that surely today's headlines would have a million pictures of last evening's beer summit at the White House, but it was really difficult to find a decent one. Nevertheless I dug deep down into my own archives to see what I could find. Fortunately, I have a complete file on beer and liquor and that made it easier.

Birthdays: Alessandro Algardi, sculptor 1595, Jean Dubuffet, painter 1901, Milton Friedman, economist 1912, Italian novelist, essayist, and scientist, a survivor of the Nazi extermination camp at Auschwitz-Birkenau 1919, Robert C. Merton, economist 1944, J. K. Rowling, British author 1965.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met. 2) My impromptu jaunt yesterday to AREA 51 is taking it's toll today. At the bar last night, the bartender asked me, "What'll you have?" I said, "Surprise me." He showed me a naked picture of my ex-wife. 3) I never knew what real happiness was until I got married but by then, it was too late. 4) When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up. 5) My friend joined a bridge club. He jumps off next Tuesday.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

One day a lady went into a fishing shop to buy her husband a fishing pole for his birthday. She picked up a really nice looking pole and asked the salesman how much it was. The sales man says, "I am blind but if you give me the pole I can tell how much it is by the weight."

So the lady gives him the pole and he says, "That pole is worth $45." She was amazed at how cheap that was. So then she picked up another really nice pole, hands it to the man and he says, "This pole is worth $55." she decided that was also really cheap. Then she picks the nicest looking pole in the place and handed it to the man and he says, "This pole is our best and it is $70." She told him that she would take it.

As she was getting the fishing pole rung up, she felt the sudden need to fart, really badly. She decided since the man was blind that it really wouldn't matter if she farted in front of him so she just let it loose. The blind man looked up and says, "It all comes up to $85." Confused the lady says to him, "But you said the fishing pole was only $70." He said, "It is. Its $70 for the fishing pole, $5 for the stink bait and $10 for the duck call."

A couple is skinny dipping in a lake and when they return to shore, they discover that pranksters have stolen their clothes and blanket. Embarrassed, the couple run to their car and began driving back to their home. The boyfriend is so busy trying to drive and console his nervous girlfriend that he crashes the car into a tree outside of a neighborhood bar and gets stuck between the steering wheel and the seat.

He tells his girlfriend to go inside the bar and get help and she replied that she couldn't because she didn’t have any clothes on. He replies, “Take my shoe, cover your breasts with one hand, your pubic area with the shoe, and get help!

She takes the shoe and runs into the bar. Inside, the bar is almost deserted with the exception of the town drunk. She runs over to the drunk and says, "Help, my boyfriend is stuck! Can you help us?" The drunks replies, "I’m sorry lady, but I think he's too far in."

That's it for today my little gas passers. Thank God it's Friday and although I did slip into the night last evening for an impromptu Happy Hour with my pal Hector, I'll be heading to AREA 51 once again for Friday Happy Hour.

Have a great weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !

9 comments:

Linda's World said...

I still don't know what I think of the little beer get together. It certainly set a precedent for unsual gatherings at the White House. Have a good weekend & don't forget to leave plenty of food out for PSH incase you get home late. Linda in Washington where it's cooled down a little.

Rose said...

That last joke had me on the floor! Too funny!

Regarding the Prez and his beer buddies.......hmmmmmm....is he going to have more parties each time a black person is making the daily News??? I think our Police can handle their jobs just fine.

Hugs, Rose

garnett109 said...

What type of bar food does one serve at a beer summit?

Paula said...

Can you remember these jokes? Just curious.

Martha said...

LOL! You know if there are cold Buds I'm there! I can't believe I didn't get invited to the party! You crack me up. I love it! Have a great weekend - a little hair of the dog never hurts and you'll be ready to go again :-)

Janice said...

Jimmy: Your postings are hysterical. I don't know how you come up with these ideas all the time but they are great. Keep them coming.

Janice (friend of Rose Sisti)

FrankandMary said...

At least I get to laugh a lot when I come here. And why does that bumble bee look like Burt Reynolds to me?
~Mary

Tabby said...

Hmmm not for nothing Obama put a tax on cigarettes (but he smokes), now he is having little beer parties at the white house. There ya go kids a president to look up to. I wish he would stop trying to be Mr. Super Cool president and just start working on the problems in this country. OMG now that was a rant.

Joann said...

I heard he was having a beer-fest also when he came up with the "Cash for Clunkers" program!!!