Friday, July 10, 2009

What You Lookin' At Willis?

We finally had a week where new celebrity deaths did not dominate the media. I suppose they'll have to return to reporting minor issues like the continuing failing economy, the crisises in Iran, Afghanistan, Korea and China, not to mention the current G8 conference in Italy.

Speaking of the G8 conference, today's lead photo shows our fearless leader Barack Obama and French President Nicolas Sarkozy in a lecherous gaze at the young lass on the left. Maybe this sweet young thing is part of Obama's rumored second stimulus package.

In Obama's defense, a replay of the video shows that he had just given a arm to the young girl in the black dress and sun glasses behind him. As to Sarkozy, well....he's French!

Continuing with odd pictures, the continuing photos of CNN Democratic analyst James Carvill abound, this time showing the infamous and inept Carville and a look alike cat. Carville, who may have been the banjo playing kid in the Bert Reynolds movie, "Deliverance." is a perfect example of why you shouldn't marry your cousin.

Illinois Senator Roland Burris, appointed by Ex-Governor Rod Blagojevich, has next to no campaign cash, no political operation and no support from any major Democrat in Illinois or national politics. Burris will not run to keep the seat in 2010 and made this announcement at a press conference today. Burris raised little more than $800 in the first quarter of the year, and his second quarter only yielded about $20,000. I wonder how much money he had to pay Blagojevich?

7-11 is giving away free Slurpees tomorrow (true). Stop by any 7-Eleven on Saturday (7/11) between 7 a.m. and 11 p.m. for a FREE Slurpee (7.11 oz) on 7-Eleven Day to celebrate the chain store's 82nd birthday. I normally would have a quip for this but it happens to be true and I thought I'd post it for those of you who have children. Tell Ahmed that Jimmy says "Hey."

This Date In History: 1913; The National Weather Service records a temperature of 134° F in California's Death Valley, the highest temperature ever measured in the United States. 1925; The so-called Monkey Trial of teacher John Scopes for teaching evolution begins in Dayton, Tennessee. The trial matches nationally famous lawyers Clarence Darrow and William Jennings Bryan. 1943; British, United States and Canadian armed forces invade Sicily by air and ship, resulting in Italian Prime Minister Benito Mussolini's fall from power two weeks later.

1953; Four months after the death of Joseph Stalin, Soviet leaders arrest Lavrenty Beria, his longtime head of security. Beria is executed later that year for treason. 1976; A chemicals factory leaks weedkiller near Seveso, Northern Italy, killing 40,000 animals and causing skin lesions on more than 400 people.

1985; Greenpeace flagship the Rainbow Warrior is struck by two bombs in Auckland Harbour, New Zealand, killing one crew member and singing the 40m-long ship.

Picture Of The Day: It's been a fun day of finding some great photoshop pictures from around the Internet. I always get a kick of some of the really excellent work these artists come up with. The media photographers are also there to catch every misstep anyone makes and always have something funny to print.

Speaking of funny pictures, who do you think the pup pictured below looks like?

Birthdays: John Calvin, Protestant theologian 1509, Sir William Blackstone, legal scholar 1723, James McNeill Whistler, painter 1834, Mary McLeod Bethune, educator 1875, Kurt Alder, German chemist and Nobel laureate 1902, Alice Munro, writer 1931.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I think I'm a lesbian. 2) In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him. 3) I miss not seeing my new friend from The Billiards Club. 4) I have not yet found the time to respond to the continuing emails from my pals in Nigeria, notifying me of the various monies I have inherited or won. I have to wait for my check from Publisher's Clearing House who assured me that I may have won $10,000,00. I hope the Nigerians understand. 5) Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

A mother and her son were flying "Southwest Airlines" from Kansas to Chicago. The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and said, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the stewardess.

So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The stewardess asked, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" He said that his mother had. So the stewardess said, "Tell your mother that Southwest always pulls out on time."

A travelling ventriloquist on the road in between jobs decided to practice his craft before his next show. He stopped at a farmhouse and approached the farmer who lived there. "Hello there sir, I was just passing by and I was wondering if I might speak to your dog." The farmer replied, "Well, you know, dogs don't talk." The ventriloquist said, "You'd be surprised what a dog might tell you. Can I speak with him?" The farmer, eyeing the ventriloquist suspiciously, called his dog.

The ventriloquist, "Hi Mr. Dog. How does the farmer treat you?" To which the dog replied, "Oh, he's great! He throws a stick for me, scratches my belly, and I just love him!!" Needless to say, the farmer was dumbfounded. Wanting to see if he could fool the farmer again, the ventriloquist asked if he could speak with the farmer's horse. "Well, you know, horses don't talk." Again the ventriloquist said, "You'd be surprised what a horse might tell you." So the farmer brought out his horse.

The ventriloquist said, "Say, Mr. Horse, how does the farmer treat you?" The horse then replied, "Oh, I think he's great. He feeds me oats, he puts a blanket over me at night, and I just love him!"

Again the farmer was amazed. Wanting to try his luck a third time, the ventriloquist said, "Mr. Farmer, would you like to hear what the sheep has to say about you?" The farmer said, "Sheep lie, ya' know."

That's it for today my little banana peels. AREA 51 beckons and I will heed the call and stop by for Happy Hour and announced that I, too, will not be running for the Illinois senate seat. Have a great weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !

10 comments:

garnett109 said...

jim thanks on the info, but habib did not build a 7/11 here yet

Missie said...

Have a good weekend!!

Paula said...

Yep the way you like girls you might be. LoL Took me a second to get that. That look alike picture sure does look alike. Love it.

Rose said...

So, you think you are a Lesbian? I was on the floor with that one!

I too continue to receive emails from your pals in Nigeria, notifying me of the various monies I have inherited or also won just like you!

Enjoy your weekend while I am flat on my back here after pulling my back out again! Ugh.......Sigh!

Hugs, Rose

Tressa Bailey said...

OMG I started laughing at the lecherous O'bama shot......was giggling all through to the end!

A lesbian huh? Damn you are interesting!

Coelha :B said...

lol..oh gosh.. have a good weekend dude... :)

Joann said...

I always learn so much history on your 'This Date In History'. I think we came very close to that record heat again here TODAY!! LOL!!

OK, who is the puppy with the wig supposed to look like???

Thanks for the heads up on the free Slurpee... I'm there!!

Julie said...

But...but...but,the nigerians promised the money to me. Awe. I knew you were a lesbian. Try the new lesbian pill, Trimenagain, works great.

Linda's World said...

I can't believe I missed this when it was first posted. Where was I? I must have been making a list of all the stuff I'm going to do with the promised monies from Publisher's Clearing House. Linda in Washington where it was too darn hot, this last week.

Martha said...

ROFL! What a great way to start my morning! You crack me up Jimmy! :-)