Wednesday, December 31, 2008

New Year's Resolutions And Advice For New Year's Eve

Well, tonight's New Year's Eve and before I get into my silliness, I'd like to remind you that tonight is amateur night for drinkers. People who do not drink all year will have a sip of the spirits tonight and that spells danger (Will Robinson). Over the years, one of the things I have learned is that if you're going out, try to stay close to home. The shorter the path to safety the less chance you'll encounter problems.

For the non-drinkers who will drink tonight, eat first and pace yourself! You'll handle the liquor much easier by drinking slowly on a full stomach. Once you start feeling the alcohol, make sure you call all of your family and friends to wish them a Happy New Year. Then, you can go ahead and throw-up, lose your cell phone and pass out in the front yard.

For the ladies who get a bit tipsy, look around for the silver haired gentleman with shaded glasses. Flick your bic and hold it high. It's much easier for me to find you in a crowd.


Those of you making New Year's resolutions might want to clearly think out the potential consequences before making them. One resolution always made on New Year's Day is "I'll never drink again." Obviously this is a resolution you may keep for 364 days, but New Year's Eve does occur annually and you're back to square one.

Some of the people in the news are making New Year's resolutions as well and you'll find them throughout today's post. I've learned from the past not to make any serious resolutions as most of them are broken within days of making them. My resolution for 2009 is to continue doing what I did in 2008 but with a better success rate. There are, however, a few minor exceptions from the 2008 list which I will not address at this time.

Tonight is one of the best nights to head to AREA 51 and, as usual, I have no idea where I'm going. On this particular evening, it doesn't really matter as there are parties everywhere and it's simply a question of finding them.


This Date In History: 1600; The East India Company, which will be a major force in the history of India for more than 200 years, is established by charter granted by Elizabeth I. 1775; At the outset of the American War of Independence, American troops under General Richard Montgomery and Colonel Benedict Arnold make an unsuccessful attempt to take Quebec from the British.

1805; The French Republican Calendar, in use since 1793, is abolished by Napoleon I. 1865; Wellington supersedes Auckland as the capital of New Zealand. 1879; Thomas Edison publicly demonstrates his incandescent electric light bulb. 1960; The farthing, in use as currency in England since the 13th century, ceases to be legal tender.

Picture Of The Day: New Year's resolutions from people in the 2008 news are today's subject matter. It's fun to see what these zany characters will think of next. These are only a few of them and the rest of them will be featured on Jimmy's Journal - The Original. You can click the link on my sidebar or click the link below. http://jimmysjournal-theoriginal.blogspot.com/

Birthdays: Bonnie Prince Charlie, known as the Young Pretender, or Bonnie Prince Charlie, claimant to the British throne who led the Scottish Highland army in the Forty-Five uprising 1720; Charles Cornwallis, general and statesman 1738; George Meade, American army officer 1815; Henri Matisse, French artist 1869; George Marshall, American military commander 1880; Jule Styne, British-born American composer 1905; Anthony Hopkins, actor 1937; Ben Kingsley, actor 1943.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.

One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me....I know we've been friends for a long time.....but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is."

Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"

An elderly couple were on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon, when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard. They searched for days and couldn't find her, so the captain sent the old man back to shore with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something.

Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the boat. It read: 'Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife dead at the bottom of the ocean. We hauled her up to the deck and attached to her butt was an oyster and in it was a pearl worth $5,000. please advise. "The old man faxed back: "Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap."

A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket . They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive! She lives for ten more years, and then dies.

Once again, a ceremony is held, and at the end of it, the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket. As they carry the casket towards the door, the husband cries out, "Watch that wall!"

That's it for today my little munchkins. Have a safe and Happy New Year and more on Friday.

Stay Tuned !

13 comments:

Missy said...

HAHA! I love the resolution advice and the pictures.

Have a wonderful New Year and don't drink too much!!!!!!!!

*M*

Rose said...

Great photos!

Stay safe tonight. I'm staying home with Johnny Walker.

I caught a terrible cold while at Laurie's B'day party last Saturday.....Ugh!

Hugs, Rose

Anne said...

Please be safe tonight. It's all of the newbies of drinking that are dangerous. Thanks for the jokes, the drinks (I usually have one when I am reading you) and also the great music you have. You introduced me to Eva Cassidy. Interesting bio btw. Save a barstool for me, I'll be back. Anne

Paula said...

Merry New Year and stay safe.

Melanie said...

Have a safe and happy new year Jim!


Melanie

Myra said...

Oh, I'm sure you'll find the party or parties. Be safe, my friend!

Missie said...

Happy New Year!

madcobug said...

Happy New Year! Helen

Linda's World said...

By now the New Year has arrived in FL. And you're out partying hearty while PSH is home pacing the floor. Hope you had a good evening...and your hangover is minimal. We're safe at home watching movies. Love the resolution pictures. I always make the same resolution every years~not to make any. Linda in cold & rainy Washington

garnett109 said...

Happy New Year Jimmy

Ally Lifewithally said...

Happy New Year to you ~ Ally x

Pamela said...

HA HA HA Loved the jokes! I hope you had a good New Year's Eve!
xoxox

Brian said...

Hope you had a good Christmas and new year.