Friday, November 28, 2008

And Now A Week Of Turkey Sandwiches !

Although I said I probably wouldn't go out on Hump Day, I probably did! Oh yeah, I did! I really wasn't going to go out but, at the last minute, my partner in crime, Emilio, called and said there was a big poker game at the cigar club ( I think it's called the Havana Cigar Club, but I'm still not sure). Needless to say, We headed on over to the club and sure enough, a poker game broke out. I didn't play, mainly because there was a very lovely bartender all by herself and I didn't think it would be gentlemanly to leave her all alone (that's my story and I'm sticking to it).

Later in the evening, the bartender was busy serving drinks to the poker players, so I took a stroll over the Billiards Club (which, incidentally, is in the same shopping center as the cigar club) and what to my wondering eyes should appear sweet Nicole. Actually, I knew she was going to appear because I called her from the cigar club. About two hours later, Emilio called and was ready to go home, but I told him that I had found a ride home.

Thanksgiving day was definitely laid back and I ended up going up to Weston to party with some good friends. The host has a great music room, complete with drums, keyboards, guitars and a great p.a. system so we ended up jamming a lot. There's is also a baby grand piano in another room and I spent half the evening between the two music areas. I have no idea what time I finally got home, but I know I went to the party at 10:00 p.m., so take it from there.

So, today's Friday and I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. In theory, tonight's party night in AREA 51, but I'm not real sure if I have any gas left. Oh, my car's got plenty of gas, I'm just not real sure about the driver. I know I said the same thing on Wednesday, but you should know me by now. It's early yet, we'll see.

This Date In History: 1520; Ferdinand Magellan sails around South America from the Atlantic Ocean, reaching an ocean that he names “Pacific” (meaning “peaceful”) because of its calmness. 1893; The first women in the world ever to vote in a national election do so in New Zealand.1919; Nancy Astor becomes the first-ever woman to take a seat in the House of Commons as an MP.

1943; The Tehran Conference, during World War II, sees the so-called “Big Three” of Marshal Joseph Stalin, President Franklin Roosevelt, and Prime Minister Winston Churchill meet for the first time. 1990; Margaret Thatcher officially resigns as prime minister after more than 11 years in office, and is replaced by John Major.

Picture Of The Day There's just something about Autumn that I just can't resist. I like the nip in the air, the way the sunlight seems to shine a bit differently on the trees and the general feel of the coming winter season. I found a few more pictures which reflect those feelings and I wanted to share them with you.

Birthdays: Jean Baptiste Lully, Italian-born French composer 1632, William Blake, poet, painter, and engraver 1757, Friedrich Engels , German revolutionary political economist and co-founder, with Karl Marx, of scientific socialism, now known as Communism 1820, Sir Leslie Stephen, biographer, critic, and philosopher 1832, Randy Newman, American pop singer and composer 1944.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

A man goes into his dentist's office as something is wrong with his mouth. After a brief examination the dentist exclaimed, "Holy Smoke!!! That plate I installed in your mouth about six months ago has nearly completely corroded. What on earth have you been eating?"

The man replied, "Well the only thing that I can think of is this...My wife made me some asparagus about four months ago with this stuff on it. Hollandaise Sauce, she called it. And, Doctor, I'm talking delicious. I've never tasted anything like it. And ever since I've been putting it on everything--meat, fish, toast, vegetables, you name it.

"The dentist responded, "That's probably it. Hollandaise sauce is made with lemon juice, which is acidic and highly corrosive. I'll have to install a new plate, but this time I'll make it out of chrome."

The man asked,"Why chrome?" The dentist replied , "Well, everyone knows there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise."

A man was in the mall, having a hamburger at the food court. A teen came up and sat down beside him, giving him the "I'm bad" typical teen look. The boy's hair was dyed in shades of blue, yellow, green, red and orange. The man couldn't help but stare at the kid's hair.

Finally, the teen looked over, saw the man staring and said, "What's the matter, old man, haven't you ever done anything wild in your life?"

The man replied, "As a matter of fact, I have. I got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son."

That's it for today my little candied yams. Have a great and safe weekend and more on Monday.

Stay turned !

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Have A Happy Thanksgiving !

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day and the first thing I want to do is thank all of you for putting up with my shenanigans and stopping by to read my journal. Have a very special Thanksgiving Day and enjoy your family and friends.

I'm not really sure if tonight will be an AREA 51 evening, but knowing myself relatively well, there's a good chance I'll at least make happy hour to see my pals. I'm sure I'll be home early because if I party tonight, tomorrow and Friday, chances are that it will take me a week to find all my body parts.

I've been watching the government bailout program and I have emailed Washington, letting them know that if I do not receive a bailout loan from them in the amount of $1,000, I may have to curtail my public service reports about the various nightclubs, cafes and restaurants in AREA 51. This loan will enable me to continue my reports and help my advisor, Johnnie Walker Black and myself to complete this important work.

There's a new plan out to piss off Obama and the democrats. Bush should resign now. Dick Cheney would then become President. Then Cheney appoints Condoleeza Rice as Vice President. Cheney resigns two weeks later and Condoleeza Rice, a Republican, becomes the first Black woman President! I could live with that!

This Date In History 1504; Isabella I of astile, who with her husband, Ferdinand of Aragón, had united Spain as one nation, dies in Medina del Campo aged 53. 1703; The Great Storm of 1703, the most severe storm ever recorded in the British Isles, hits southern England and the English Channel, killing about 8,000 people and causing unprecedented damage.

1789; Thanksgiving Day is first celebrated as a national holiday in the United States. 1906; Theodore Roosevelt visits Panama, becoming the first sitting US president to travel abroad. 1965; France successfully launches the Diamant A rocket into space, becoming the world's third space power after the Soviet Union and the United States.

Picture Of The Day Thanksgiving is probably one of my favorite days in that it is really a day for family and friends. Christmas Day always seems to be hurried and a lot of travelinging to different places, dropping off gifts and visiting lots of people. Thanksgiving, on the other hand is usually a simple task. It's usually one place, go there, eat until you shouldn't and enjoy the day.

There's always a football game on and in my case, sooner or later a poker game breaks out, but the end result is that the holiday is always laid back and relaxing. I also look forward to the care package that is always given to me to take home, filled with enough turkey and trimmings to last me a week.

Birthdays: John Harvard, clergyman 1607, William Cowper, poet 1731, Mary Edwards Walker, American doctor and feminist 1832, Cyril Cusack, Irish actor 1910, Charles Schulz, American comic-strip artist 1922, Tina Turner, American singer 1939.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming

An elderly man picked his new date at the rest home and they went to the river to ride in his boat. As he came to the fork in the river, he was undecided as to go up river or down river. He said to his date, "Up or down?" She immediately tore off her clothes and made passionate love to him. At the next fork in the river, he again asked, "Up or down" and the woman, once again, ripped off her clothes and made love to him.

The next day, he picked her up again and at the fork in the river, he asked, "Up or down?" The old woman said "Down". Disappointed, he steered down river until the next fork. Once again, he asked, "Up or down?" The old woman responded, "Up".

The man was thoroughly baffled and finally said to the woman, "Yesterday, every time I asked you if you wanted to go up or down, you made love to me. What's the deal?" The woman said, "Yesterday, I wasn't wearing my hearing aid and I thought the choices were 'hump or drown."

That's it for today my little drumsticks. Have a happy Thanksgiving Day and more on Friday.

Stay Tuned !

Monday, November 24, 2008

It's Turkey Week And Changes Are Coming !

Friday's sojourn to AREA 51 was a long and interesting evening. I started out at Lakes Cafe which is usually good but, when I arrived, I saw that changes have been made. I arrived around 10:30 but to my surprise, there was no karaoke show. Instead, they had a unimaginative DJ playing songs and the crowd was noticeably larger and younger.

Large crowds don't bother me too much, but I prefer a good mix of ages and a good mix of songs. Another thing that bothered me was that there were three police cars with lights ablaze in the rear of the building. Normally, this type of scenario usually spells trouble and I had one drink and left.The new owners are probably just experimenting and they had a good crowd, but young people are sometimes fickle and when they get bored, they move on. What's hot this month could be quite dead next month. We'll see.

I left Lakes to visit some friends who had called me earlier in the week at a very chic cigar club. I rarely go to cigar clubs, but I promised I'd meet them and so I did. As it turned out, the club was small and relatively smoke free. The lights were pleasingly low, the music smooth and a nice glass of chilled white wine was the perfect punctuation to the evening.

From the cigar club (I really don't remember the name), I went to The Billiards Club for a nightcap and arrived home sometime early Saturday morning. It was a pleasant evening with great friends.

This Date In History 1642; Dutch navigator Abel Tasman discovers Tasmania. 1859; On the Origin of Species, Charles Darwin’s revolutionary text in the history of the biological sciences, is first published. 1922; Writer Erskine Childers is executed during the Irish Civil War for the illegal possession of a firearm.

1962; The satirical television program "That Was The Week That Was" is first broadcast. 1963; Jack Ruby shoots dead Lee Harvey Oswald, the accused assassin of President John F. Kennedy. 1987; Li Peng succeeds Zhao Ziyang as premier of China.

Picture Of The Day Word has it that the new White House puppy has been selected and through my Washington contacts, I was able to get a sneak picture preview for you. The presidential transition team reports that the puppy's name will either be Jesse, Podium Al or Reverend Wright.

In other news, since his meeting with President-elect Obama, President George Bush has undergone noticeable changes in his demeanor and is possibly considering running for the upcoming Secretary of State position.

Turkey's are becoming more difficult to find this week and prices are climbing rapidly. It is said that the turkey has a keen sense of the holiday calendar and becomes more and more elusive aroungd the holidays.

Birthdays: Zachary Taylor, 12th president of the United States 1784, Grace Darling, British heroine 1815, Frances Hodgson Burnett, American novelist 1849, Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec, French Post-Impressionist painter 1864, Scott Joplin, American composer and pianist 1868.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming

A young newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor told them, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks." The couple agreed and came back at the end of two weeks.

The pastor asked them, "Well, were you able to get through the two weeks without being intimate?" The young man replied, "Pastor, I'm afraid we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks." The pastor inquired, "What happened?"

The young man said, "My wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was over come with lust and took advantage of her right there."The pastor said, "You understand, of course, that this means you will not be welcome in our church."The young man said, "That's ok, we're not welcome at the grocery store anymore either."

A fireman came home from work one day and told his wife, "You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station. Bell 1 rings and we all put on our jackets, Bell 2 rings and we all slide down the pole, Bell 3 rings and we're on the fire truck ready to go. From now on when I say Bell 1, I want you to strip naked. When say Bell 2, I want you to jump in bed. And when I say Bell 3, we are going to make love all night."

The next night he came home from work and yelled, "Bell 1!" The wife promptly took all her clothes off. When he yelled "Bell 2!", the wife jumped into bed. When he yelled "Bell 3!", they began making love.

After a few minutes the wife yelled, "Bell 4!" The fireman said, "What the hell is Bell 4?" His wife replied, "Roll out more hose! You're nowhere near the fire!"

That's it for today my little brush fires. More on Wednesday.

Stay Tuned !

Friday, November 21, 2008

At First I Thought I Was Sentenced To The Guillotine...

I received an award from my pal, Linda, called the Marie Antoinette Award and on the icon, it reads "real people, real blogs." Fortunately, I qualify for both of those descriptions as each year, the IRS takes money from me (which makes me real) and every time I click the link to make an entry in my journal, this particular site comes up, so I assume that my journal (I hate the word blog...sounds too much like clog) is real.

The award comes with rules and two of the main ones are to pass the award to up to ten deserving "blogs" and to post links or something to that effect. With my understanding of mathematics and multiplication, I assume that sooner or later, the award will be given to most all of the journalists, especially the people who were forced to flee communist AOL by boat or raft, cross the Florida Straits and seek refuge at Blogspot.Com. I can't think of a more deserving group of persistent people than AOL journalists. Be that as it may, I will limit the number of people who I feel deserve this award as given by me.

Being somewhat of a non-conformist, I will forego the detailed rules and just mention some of the people who have been kind enough to follow my journal for the past two years and in that time, have become very special to me. If I were to go into detail about each and every one of the following people, today's entry would become a book, I'd have to hire a literary agent, go on a book tour, sign books and......, but I digress.

I know that some of these people (who I will list in alphabetical order for my own safety) already have been given this award, but I want them to know that I considered them as well:

1) Anne - Saturday's Child 2) Garnett - my Brain is In Pain 3) Jackie - Life In Bama 4) Julie - Julie's New Journal 5) Missy - My Sanctuary 6) Myra - The Randomness Of It All 7) Nancy - Nancy Loves Pix 8) Pamela - Times Of My Life 9) Paula - Pauline's Country Tales 10) Rose - Roses Are Read 11) Sherry - Sherry's Journey.

I could go on and on as I am fortunate to know and read several other fine journalists who are always a pleasure to read. I would be remiss not to say that my pal Linda would also be on the list as well as my pal, Indigo, but they've already been bombarded with the same award and deservedly so.

Fri 02

It's Friday and I'm going to AREA 51 tonight with a little bit of a different agenda in mind. I've spoken to a few different lady friends that I haven't seen in a while and they all wanted to know where I've been hanging out lately. So, with that in mind, I'll probably see them this evening in AREA 51 and that will be fun.

TodaysThoughts: What if the Hokey Pokey is really what it's all about? Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness." It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.

This Date In History: 1620; The Mayflower, in which the Pilgrims crossed the Atlantic Ocean to the New World, drops anchor off the site of present-day Provincetown, Massachusetts. 1695; Henry Purcell, widely considered to be England's greatest native composer, dies in London aged about 36. 1918; As part of the Armistice terms that ended World War I, the German fleet surrenders to Britain at Scapa Flow, Orkney.

1942; The Alaska Highway, linking Canada with Alaska, is completed. 1995; The Dayton Peace Accord, officially ending the Bosnian-Croatian-Serbian War, is signed in Dayton, Ohio.

Picture Of The Day: It's Friday and there's some fine fillies somewhere out there in AREA 51 that I haven't seen in a while so I thought I'd kinda give you a visual image of what I was thinking.

Birthdays: Voltaire, French writer and intellectual 1694, Sir Arthur Quiller-Couch, author and writer who published under the pen name of Q 1863, René Magritte, Belgian painter and artist 1898, Coleman Hawkins, American jazz musician 1904, Malcolm Williamson, Australian composer 1931.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming

A woman who had bags under her eyes wanted to get them removed so she could look younger so she went to a plastic surgeon. She tells the doctor I cant get rid of these bags please help me. The doctor says he is gonna try and new experimental technique on her. He will put a crank in the back of her head and when she sees bags under her eyes she's supposed to crank it and the bags will go away.

So she gets this crank put in her head and leaves. It works and works for a while until one day she cant get rid of these bags under her eyes. She cranks and cranks as hard as she can but they just won't go away.

So she goes to the doctor.She says to the doctor, "Doctor, this was working for a while, but I can't seem to get rid of these bags under my eyes." The doctor replies, "Lady those aren't bags, those are your boobs." The woman replied, "Now that explains why I have this goatee."

That's it for today my saucy little cranberries. Have a great and safe weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Blow Them Out Of The Water !

The continuing hijackings stemming from the country of Somalia makes me wonder why someone doesn't just go over there and take them out. It's tantamount to a flea hijacking a dog and holding it for ransom. The answer, quite frankly is simple. I would arm these large tankers with the proper missiles and post a very colorful large flag stating that any vessel coming within 1,000 yards would be blown out of the water. After the second or third incident, these highjackings would come to an abrupt halt. Between the Somalia highjackers and the constant email scammers from Nigeria, perhaps our new president may have some idea how to handle the situation.

Somalia pirates and their hostages

India has the right idea. The Indian navy sank a suspected pirate "mother ship" and chased two attack boats into the night. This happened as the owners of a seized Saudi oil supertanker negotiated for the release of their vessel and its $100 million cargo. The Indian warship, operating off the coast of Oman, stopped a ship similar to a pirate vessel described in numerous bulletins. The Indian navy said the pirates in the Gulf of Aden fired on the INS Tabar after the officers asked to search it.

"Pirates were seen roaming on the upper deck of this vessel with guns and rocket propelled grenade launchers," said a statement from the Indian navy. Indian forces fired back, sparking fires and a series of onboard blasts — possibly due to exploding ammunition — and destroying the ship.

Previously captured Somali Pirates

It's time to start fighting fire with fire in the many instances of murder, robberies and highjackings, not only abroad but at home as well. The world is full of street monkeys and thugs and once the word gets around that crimes of this sort will result in immediate death, you'll see a rapid decrease in crimes of this nature.

It's Hump Day and a trip to AREA 51 sounds like an excellent idea. It's been chilly in Miami for a few days now and a nice sport jacket will be in order for tonight's trek. Combine that with a beautiful companion and a glass of Johnny Walker Black and that will complete the evening quite well.

A local man was found murdered in his home in California over the weekend. Detectives at the scene found the man face down in his bathtub. The tub had been filled with milk and corn flakes, and the deceased had a banana protruding from his buttocks. Police suspect a cereal killer.

This Date In History: 1759; During the Seven Years’ War, the Royal Navy, commanded by Admiral Edward Hawke, defeats a French fleet at the Battle of Quiberon Bay, ending a French invasion scare. 1917; At the Battle of Cambrai, in World War I, tanks are employed en masse for the first time in warfare, but the hoped-for British breakthrough of the German lines is not achieved.

1945; After weeks of deliberations, the first day of the International Military Tribunal’s trial of 24 senior Nazis on charges of war crimes begins in Nuremberg. 1975; General Francisco Franco, dictator of Spain since 1939, dies in Madrid aged 82. 1992; Windsor Castle is badly damaged by fire.

Photo Of The Day I am really irritated with these pieces of garbage who are flagrantly doing what they damned well please. I guarantee that I could resolve this issue in less time than it takes to take an unmanned drone warplane to fire strike missiles.

Birthdays: Thomas Chatterton, poet 1752, Edwin Hubble, American astronomer, who proved the existence of large star systems, or galaxies, far outside the Milky Way 1889, Alistair Cooke, broadcaster and journalist 1908 Emilio Pucci, Italian fashion designer and statesman 1914, Robert F. Kennedy, American political leader and legislator 1925.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming

Doctor Johnson was driving home over the Golden Gate Bridge after spending a great day on the ocean fishing. His catch, cleaned and filleted, was wrapped in newspaper on the passenger-side floor. He was late getting home and was going a little faster than normal. Suddenly, a cop jumped out, radar gun in hand, and motioned him to the side of the bridge. Dr. Johnson pulled over like a good citizen.

The cop walked up to the window and said, "You know how fast you were going, boy?" Dr. Johnson thought for a second and said, "Uh, 60?" The cop said, "57 miles per hour in a 55 zone. I'm going to give you a ticket."

The cop took a good close look at Dr. Johnson in his stained fishing attire and said, "You don't even look like you have a job! Why, I've never seen anyone so scruffy in my entire life!" Dr. Johnson thought about the cop's bad attitude and answered, "I'm a doctor and I have a good, well-paying job!"

The cop leaned in the window, smelling the doctor's fish, and said, "What kind of job would a bum like you have?" Doctor Johnson, becoming more irritated with the cop's attitude replied, "I'm a rectum stretcher!" The cop, scratching his head, asked, "What does a rectum stretcher do?"

The doctor explained, "My patients sometimes have bathroom problems and they need to be stretched. I slowly stretch their anus until it's a full six feet across."

The cop, absorbed with these bizarre images in his mind, asked, "What the hell do you do with a six-foot asshole?" Dr. Johnson repled, "You give him a radar gun and place him by a bridge!"

That's it for today my little tic tacs. More on Friday.

Stay Tuned !

Monday, November 17, 2008

Veni, Vidi, Vici !

Experience is a word that everyone defines in their own way. Like taste, is something that is acquired. Most of us have our own little area of our mind where we store this acquired knowledge for future use. As we begin to learn that youth is fleeting, experience can become a very useful asset if utilized properly.

Like the younger player who sometimes loses to an older player, it is usually experience that is the determining factor in the game itself. Of course, all parties in the game gain experience with each encounter, but it is the wiser player who uses it for future reference who benefits most.

In my journeys to AREA 51, I often see things that absolutely bewilder me. Recently, I saw three guys who happen to be within earshot and I overheard them say something about another guy who was with a good looking young woman. None of them could believe why the woman was with that particular guy.

I glanced over at the young man. He was wearing a jacket and and slacks. He lit the young woman's cigarette and when she got up to go to the restroom, he stood up as well, removed her chair from her path and walked her to the restroom door.

I looked again to the three guys as the couple walked past them. Two of them were wearing baggy shorts, two of them were wearing flip-flops and all of them wore T-shirts.......on a Saturday night. I turned back to the bar, took a sip of my Johnny Walker Black and just smiled.

The Cat's Ass (CAT) Trophy Award: There were no nominees last weeks for the prestigious CAT Award,so in the interim, I thought I'd tell you how this award originated. The Cat's Ass Trophy was derived from the word "catastrophe" (cat-as-trophe), which is usually the genesis of most of the faux pas' and bad decisions that merit the award. With all of the awards today honoring and lauding seemly anyone and everyone, I thought that we should recognize deserving dimwits who constantly surprise us with their acts of stupidity and the like.

This Date In History: 1724; Jack Sheppard, the criminal and folk hero famed for his spectacular prison escapes, is hanged in front of a crowd of 200,000 at Tyburn, in London. 1857; During the Indian Mutiny, the siege of Lucknow is briefly lifted by a British force, with a record 24 Victoria Crosses being won for extreme bravery in one day. 1907; Oklahoma becomes the 46th state of the United States.

1920; In the Russian Civil War, the Red Army inflicts the final defeat on the White Army, which is then forced to evacuate Russia by sea from the Crimean Peninsula. 1936; Edward VIII confides to the prime minister, Stanley Baldwin, that he intends to marry American divorcee Wallis Simpson, even if it means his abdication.

Picture Of The Day: When I ran across this picture, I liked it immediately. The picture itself was not what attracted my attention, rather the combination of lighting, subject matter and attitude, combined with a sterling definition of experience. It's a word that you learn the the first time you touch the proverbial hot stove after being warned against it. As time passes, a lot of things that happen to you are added to that ever-growing category. If you are intelligent, you begin to draw from that particular wealth of knowledge......most of the time.

Birthdays: William Frend De Morgan, pottery designer and novelist 1839, W. C. Handy, American composer, cornettist, and bandmaster 1873, George S. Kaufman, American playwright, director, and producer 1889, Paul Hindemith, German-American composer and violinist 1895, Oswald Mosley, leader of the British Union of Fascists 1896.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming

There was a papa mole, a mama mole, and a baby mole. They lived in a hole out in the country near a farmhouse. Papa mole poked his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell sausage!" Mama mole poked her head outside the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell pancakes!" Baby mole tried to stick his head outside but couldn't because of the two bigger moles. Baby mole said, "The only thing I smell is molasses."

Once there was an old man sitting on a bench in the park crying. A younger man walked up to him and asked "What's wrong?" The old man replied "I am married to a sexy 21 year old woman and we have sex the minute I get home from work and right after dinner." The young man had a strange look on his face and asked "What's so bad about that? It sounds to me like you have a great sex life." The old man replied "I can't remember where I live!"

During her annual checkup, the well-constructed miss was asked to disrobe and climb onto the examining table. "Doctor," she replied shyly, "I just can't undress in front of you." "All right," said the physician, "I'll flick off the lights. You undress and tell me when you're through." In a few moments, her voice rang out in the darkness: "Doctor, I've undressed. What shall I do with my clothes?" "Put them on the chair, on top of mine."

That's it for today my little basket weavers. More on Wednesday.

Stay Tuned !

Friday, November 14, 2008

Scotch On The Rocks !

This probably ought to be under The Hits Just Keep On Coming, but it happens to be true (and funny). It seems that India launched a TV-sized probe adorned with a painting of the Indian flag from the unmanned lunar orbiter Chandrayaan-1 and made a crash landing on the lunar surface today around 10:01 a.m. (ET).

I'm not really sure what that actually means or what they accomplished but methinks the next news conference will be Indian officials claiming the rights for the taxi cab driver and 7-11 franchises.

Today is party day and I'll be going to AREA 51 for the karaoke show and see my pals. I haven't sang in the karaoke show for some time and perhaps tonight I will. I've really been a lot more interested in how the new management will be handling the club. There's been a quite a few more people at Lakes Cafe on Friday nights but the jury is still out as to the way they're running the club. We'll see.

I've added two versions of "Girl From Ipanema" to my music playlist. One is by Frank Sinatra and the other is by Antonio Carlos Jobim and Astrud Gilberto, with Stan Getz. In case neither is playing as you read today's post, keep in mind that you can click on any song and it will play. If you like music, you'll love the Jobim-Gilberto version in Portugese and English.

The Cat's Ass Trophy Award: Sometimes the cat gets a taste of his own medicine. I wonder if this comes under the category of "giving the bird"? In the meantime, nominations are open for this week's CAT Award and will remain open until Monday at noon. Take your best shot.

This Date In History 1770; After two years spent in Abyssinia, now Ethiopia, explorer James Bruce discovers the source of the Blue Nile at Lake Tana. 1851; Herman Melville’s Moby Dick, one of the masterpieces of English literature, is published in its entirety for the first time.

1922; The British Broadcasting Company, now the British Broadcasting Corporation, transmits its first daily radio service from London. 1941; HMS Ark Royal, the Royal Navy’s celebrated aircraft carrier of World War II, sinks after being torpedoed the previous day by a German submarine while en route to Gibraltar.

Photo Of The Day My pal, Anne, author of Saturday's Child, sent me this beautiful picture. One thing I really miss about AOL Journals was the ability to post multiple pictures and themes. I'll add some additional pictures throughout today's entry.

Birthdays: Claude Monet, French painter 1840, Jawaharlal Nehru, Indian nationalist leader and statesman 1889, Aaron Copland, American composer 1900, Hussein I, king of Jordan 1935, Prince Charles, Prince of Wales 1948.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming

A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?" As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabby or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabby over there?" She, in turn blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice, "I don't fink my pet python weally gives a thit."

Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values. Stuart said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?" Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?"

A Drunk wanders into a seminar where a psychiatrist is addressing a group of people who have all had experiences with the supernatural. The psychiatrist asks, "Who here has seen a ghost?" Everyone puts up their hands. He then asks, "Who here has spoken with a ghost?" Half the audience puts up their hands. "And who here has touched a ghost?" Ten percent of the crowd puts up their hands.

The psychiatrist then asks, "And who here has made love with a ghost?" The drunk in the back row puts up his hand... The psychiatrist looks down from the podium at the drunk and says: "Do you mean to tell me that you have made love with a ghost?" The drunk replies, "Oh sorry, I thought you said 'goat'."

That's it for today my little bobby soxers. Have a great and safe weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Commercials That Are beginning To Irritate Me !

While watching the latest Jackie Chan movie last night I wondered why you never see any Chinese men nicknamed Rusty. Things like this occasionally pass through my mind on Hump Day's Eve and it always reminds me of the fact that I really need to get out of the house more often. Fortunately, Wednesday nights are always my mid-week excuse to go to happy hour in AREA 51 and hang out with my pals and tonight will be no exception.

From The Commercials I'm Beginning To Hate Department:

I'm starting to believe that advertisers must assume that anyone watching television past 12:00 at night are complete morons. That's either true or the advertisers for late night television are morons themselves. It's insulting to watch all of the ambulance chasing attorneys shlock their various firms, encouraging anyone who will listen to file a law suit against anybody for any reason and hoping that they can find a case that they can milk to the "nth" degree.

Of course, there's always the free credit companies that tell you that unless you purchase their service (oh yeah, it's not really free), you will never be able to get credit or find a job and there's a 50-50 chance you will become constipated. What they neglect to tell you is that all credit report companies are required by law to give you a yearly free credit report (upon written request).

I'm even further agitated by the latest commercial from a company that urges you to get rid of your "unwanted or unused" gold (?) by sending it (in the mail) to Murray Goldsilverberg and they will send you cash (as opposed to green stamps). They "eliminate" the middle man by melting the gold in their own "refinery" (located in the garage behind the Goldsilverberg home in Yonkers, New York).

What's even sadder is that I'm relatively sure that the two ugly women attesting to the validity of the offer are his wife and daughter (God forbid). Either they're his family or he has a poor sense of the definition of acting.

Last evening I saw at least three commercials hawking some inane, idiotic product and urging you to call NOW and be the among the first 72,350 callers and they will double your order. "Yes folks, you can order this handy dandy, deluxe key chain with the attached beer can opener and penlight for the low, low price of....... (you guessed it) $19.95. A $743 dollar value (who decides what the real value is?), this product is yours for only $19.95. Call now while supplies last."

Opportunists......ya gotta really love 'em even if you're the 72,351st caller and they don't double your order.

This Date In History 1833; In the greatest meteor storm in recorded history, the annual Leonid meteor shower unexpectedly turns into a storm of up to 40 meteors per second, causing panic throughout the eastern United States. 1948; In the final session of the International Military Tribunal for the Far East, in Tokyo, seven war criminals, including former Japanese leader Hideki Tojo, are sentenced to death. 1980; Voyager 1, the first space probe to travel through the Saturnian system, comes within 78,000 miles of Saturn, its closest encounter with the gas planet.

Picture Of The Day It's getting closer and closer to ski season and my thoughts often wander to Heavenly Valley at Lake Tahoe, Nevada. Located on the California-Nevada state line, it is probably one of the most beautiful areas in the world. I have skied that area many times in the past and the great thing about Tahoe is that you can return home to your room in Caesars Palace and enjoy the casinos, shows and nightlife.

Birthdays: Auguste Rodin, French sculptor 1840, Lord Rayleigh, mathematician and physicist 1842, Grace Kelly, American film actress 1929, Neil Young, Canadian singer, songwriter, and guitarist 1945.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming

A farmer was driving along the road with a load of horse manure. A little boy, playing in front of his house, saw him and called, "What've you got in your truck?" The farmer replied, "Horse manure." The little boy asked, "What are you going to do with it?" The farmer said, "Put it on strawberries." The little boy said, "You ought to live here, we put sugar and cream on ours."

An old man in the nursing home got a bottle of wine for his birthday. He talked the old lady in the next room into sharing it with him. After they were both totally bombed, he started groping the old lady and pulling at her clothes. He managed to get her blouse and bra off before she stopped him. She said, "I can't do this, I have acute angina". The old guy says "God, I hope so, 'cause you've got the ugliest tits I've ever seen."

I spend a lot of time on my computer but I hope I always remember when to get up a take a break...

That's it for today my little cracker jacks and jills. More On Friday.

Stay Tuned !

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

A Tribute To All Veterans And A Tribute To My Father

Today is Veterans Day, a day to stop and remember the men and women of the armed forces who have served and currently served America. I was trained as a combat medic in the United States Army and served from 1966 to 1971. My brother Kirt was also in the United States Army and served for three years, one of which was in Vietnam.

Although all wars are horrible, the Vietnam era is the most vivid in my mind mainly because that I was a part of it. More than 57,000 soldiers were killed during that era and many more were wounded. It was also a time of protest and rebellion and returning soldiers were not always greeted with open arms and gratitude, rather they were often jeered.

Thankfully, Vietnam War veterans are now being recognized for the part they played in the defense of America and rightfully so. Today's returning veterans from Afghanistan and Iraq are being deservedly welcomed home and respected.

Today, I'd like to thank all of the men and women of the armed forces for their service to America. Moreover, I'd like to thank my father, James M. Sullivan, Sr., for his service to America during World War II, by posting pictures of my father during past Veterans Day ceremonies prior to his death.

God Bless America !

Stay Tuned !

Monday, November 10, 2008

Where There's Smoke, There's Fire !

It's Mundane and a new work week to wade through as I look forward to Thanksgiving Day. Not much real partying on that great day, per se, just family, friends, turkey and football. I love it.

Speaking of partying, my regular journey to AREA 51 this weekend was a lot of fun. The karaoke show was great and, oddly enough, there was little mention of the presidential election. Of course, when there's wine, women and song, nothing else really comes to mind. I really didn't over-indulge too much and arrived home at a respectable 2:00 am.

On a side note to my pal Linda in chilly Washington state, my bread crumb plan didn't work too well this weekend as a family of ducks have discovered my plan. I was kinda wondering why they were patiently waiting next to my car.

Tomorrow is Veterans Day and I urge all Americans to take the time and honor the men and women of the armed forces who gave of themselves to keep America free.

The Cat's Ass Trophy (CAT) Award. Garnett nominated Eliot Spencer, the former governor of New York governor who resigned after it was discovered that he had paid for prostitutes multiple times from a service called The Emperor's Club VIP.

Michael Garcia, the US attorney in Manhattan, said Mr Spitzer will not be prosecuted over the call girl scandal which forced his resignation. Garcia said that Spitzer had paid for prostitutes on "multiple occasions" but his office had found no evidence that he used public money or campaign funds.

The married Democrat, who had campaigned as a moral crusader, was identified in phone conversations involving the escort agency as Client 9.

The judges (My cat Shithead and myself) are in agreement with Garnett and The CAT Award goes to Eliot Spitzer. A second CAT Award is also awarded to U.S. Attorney Michael Garcia for his failure to prosecute Mr. Spitzer.

This Date In History 1908; Elizabeth Garrett Anderson is elected mayor of Aldeburgh, in Suffolk, thus becoming England’s first woman mayor. 1918; Kaiser William II abdicates, ending centuries of Hohenzollern rule in Germany. 1938; Throughout Germany, Kristallnacht, or the "Night of Broken Glass", sees a night of savage attacks on Jews and their property orchestrated by the Nazis.

1953; Dylan Thomas dies in New York from the effects of alcohol and incorrect medication. 1989; German citizens begin to demolish the Berlin Wall, which has separated East Germany from West Germany since 1961.

Picture Of The Day Where there's smoke, there's fire and I've seen this phenomenon in action. One can get easily singed while playing with fire and I urge all to use extreme caution. Of course, one can always get over a few minor blisters.

Birthdays Edward VII, king of Great Britain and Ireland 1841, Sir Giles Gilbert Scott, architect 1880, Jean Monnet, French statesman and financier 1888, Carl Sagan, American astronomer and pioneer exobiologist 1934.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming

A very attractive young lady was sitting in a fine restaurant one night. Waiting for her date as she was, she wanted to make sure everything was perfect. So, as she bends down in her chair to get the mirror from her purse, she accidentally passes gas quite loudly just as the waiter walks up.

Sitting up straight now, embarrassed and red faced, knowing everyone in the place heard her, turns to the waiter and demands "Stop That!" The waiter looks at her dryly and says "Sure lady, which way was it headed?"

A farmer goes in half with a friend to buy a bull so he can increase his stock. A couple of weeks later, the friend comes by to see how his investment is doing. The farmer complains that the bull just eats grass and wouldn't look at the cows. His friend suggests that a veterinarian have a look at the bull.

The friend leaves and the farmer calls the vet to have him look at the bull. After the vet checks out the bull, he gives the farmer some pills and tells him to give the bull one pill a day.

The following week his friend returns to see if the vet helped. The farmer is delighted and says, "The bull has taken care of all my cows, broke through the fence, and has even serviced all my neighbor's cows!" His friend says, "Wow, what did the vet do to that bull?"

The farmer says, "Just gave him some pills". His friend says, "What kind of pills?" The farmer says, "I don't know, but they sort of taste like peppermint."

That's it for today my happy little heifers. Remember our men and women of the armed forces and more on Wednesday.

Stay Tuned !

Friday, November 7, 2008

Everyone Has A Photographic Memory, But Some Don't Have Film !

Friday has arrived and by my calculations, a trip to AREA 51 is in order. This week is finally over and I'm sure that all of you welcome a return to normalcy. It's karaoke night at Lakes Cafe and the recent change in ownership is working out quite well. Friday nights has seen a substantial increase in patronage and has also brought more talented performers to the karaoke show. With the weather becoming cooler by the day, I look forward to enjoying tonight's activities.

I'm a little taken aback at the multitude of houses and stores that already have their Christmas decorations up. We just gotten over Halloween and the presidi..., we've just gotten over two Halloweens, and the Christmas commercials are hitting the media, both print and television. I love Christmas, but there's this cute little holiday called Thanksgiving that I think the stores that are already hawking Christmas sales might want to consider. Call me silly, but let's just take one thing at a time.

I want to thank everyone for their comments and reactions to my Wednesday entry. I evidently ruffled a few feathers with my thoughts, but if you don't know me by now, you never will. Whether you agree me or you don't, I say what's on my mind and I welcome contrasting views. My long time readers who did disagree with my views, said so, with no hard feelings, and tomorrow's another day.

There were a couple of newer readers who just picked up their ball and went home. I have no problem with that either. I believe that the term "politically correct" is just a way to say one thing to a person's face and say another thing behind his back. That's not politically correct, that's hypocracy. If one wants to become angry at that, then one must have been truly outraged at the barbs, insults and innuendos exchanged by all parties in this past election.

This Brings Me to Murphy's Lesser Known Laws:

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people "appear"bright until you hear them speak.

2. Change is inevitable-- except from a vending machine.

3. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

4. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

5. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability that you'll get it wrong.

6. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, on a hill, in the fog.

7. The things that come to those who wait will be the scraggly junk left by those who got there first.

8. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

9. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

10. When going to court, you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

The Cat's Ass Trophy (CAT) Award nominations are open and this week my have spawned one or two thoughts for nominees. Anyone can make a nomination so if you feel there are any deserving nominees from this week's news, please feel free to nominate them. Nominations are open until Monday at noon.

This Date In History 1307 The legendary Swiss patriot William Tell is said to have shot Gessler, the despotic Austrian governor of his canton, Uri, on this day. 1885 The Canadian Pacific Railway, linking the east and west coasts of Canada, is completed with the last spike being driven at Craigellachie, British Columbia.

1917 The Bolsheviks seize power in Russia, creating the world's first communist state. 1944 Franklin D. Roosevelt is re-elected to a record fourth term as president of the United States. 1944 Franklin D. Roosevelt is re-elected to a record fourth term as president of the United States

Picture Of The Day Johnny Walker Black, my long trusted consultant and spiritual advisor in one of his rarer forms. Although I am sometimes the one in rare form, he usually doesn't let me wade too deep into unknown waters.

Birthdays Marie Curie, née Maria Sklodowska, French physicist and twice Nobel laureate, best known for her work on radioactivity, with her husband Pierre 1867, Leon Trotsky, Russian Marxist theorist and revolutionary 1879, Albert Camus, French novelist, essayist, and dramatist 1913, Billy Graham, American evangelist 1918, Joan Sutherland, Australian soprano 1926.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide." The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."

The pharmacist's eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife. The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now, that's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription!"

Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out, "Pa ! You need to go out and fix the outhouse seat!" Pa replies, "There ain't nuthin wrong with the outhouse seat." Ma yells back, "Yes there is, now git out there and fix it."

So......Pa mosies out to the outhouse, looks around and yells back, "Ma! There ain't nuthin wrong with the seat! " Ma replies, "Stick yur head in the hole!" Pa yells back, "I ain't stickin my head in that hole!" Ma says, "Ya have to stick yur head in the hole to see what to fix."

So with that, Pa sticks his head in the hole, looks around and yells back, "Ma! There ain't nuthin wrong with this outhouse seat!" Ma hollers back, "Now take your head out of the hole!"

Pa proceeds to pull his head out of the hole, then starts yelling, "Ma! Help! My beard is stuck in the cracks in the toilet seat!"

To which Ma replies, "Hurts, don't it ?!"

That's it for today, my little billy goats. Have a great and safe weekend and more on Monday.

Stay tuned !

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

It's Only Just Begun !

Yesterday, the United States of America elected a new president and the celebrations have begun. They're celebrating in Chicago, they're celebrating in Los Angeles and they're celebrating in New York. Celebrations are also happening in Kenya, Iran, Russia, Indonesia and throughout the Muslim world. When the race for the presidency began many months ago, I thought that the people of the United States were smart enough to be able to make an intelligent choice among the many mediocre candidates. I was wrong.

Knowing full well that the masses are much like sheep patiently waiting to be sheared, I felt in my heart of hearts, some sense of sanity would prevail. The presidential race became just another American Idol show and the flames were fanned by the media. Yet, you have to be aware of the fact that if the media wants something and properly spins the messages to the public, the public will dutifully follow their lead without question. When the media gets what they want, you can be sure that they're going to benefit from it in one way or another.

The presidential outcome will not affect me in any way. All of my plans and finances are predicated on getting the new set of instructions from the new administration after every election and devise ways to profit from them. I cannot, however, be proud of the fact that we have black president named Barack Hussein Obama, with dubious experience, a dubious background and relatives in parts of the world that hate Americans.

There's an old adage that says, "be careful what you wish for, you may get it." I will hesitantly give the president-elect the benefit of the doubt with the hope that at least 25% of what he promised will come to pass. I have not yet been able to mathematically calculate how 95% of Americans will have their taxes reduced, but then again, I have no idea how Jesus fed the multitudes with a few loaves of bread and a few fish. Since Obama's supporters feel that he is the second coming, I'll just take a wait and see attitude.

Time will surely tell as the democrats can no longer place total blame on the republicans for America's economy and woes. The proverbial basketball is now in the democrat's court.

It's Hump Day and I've got an eerie feeling that happy hour in AREA 51 will be very spirited. It will be interesting to see what the denizens have to say.

This Date In History 1605: Guy Fawkes, a conspirator in the Gunpowder Plot, is arrested while attempting to blow up the Houses of Parliament. 1688: During the Glorious Revolution, William of Orange lands a 40,000-strong army at Torbay, Devon, to claim the British throne from James II. 1854: The Battle of Inkerman, during the Crimean War, sees a significant victory for Britain over Russia.

1991: The body of Robert Maxwell, the notorious media tycoon, is found off the Canary Islands, after disappearing from his luxury yacht in mysterious circumstances. 1940: Franklin D. Roosevelt is elected to an unprecedented third term in office as president of the United States.

Picture Of The Day: The day is not really complete until I get a few last licks in (I never said I was a good loser). Now that the elections are finally over, I can return to watching the normally crummy everyday commerials, which for the most part, just describe their own products and do not resort to calling other like products a piece of crap. To add insult to injury, now every politician in the nation will return to lying, stealing and coniving and embrace all of their competition as bretheren. The Audacity of Hope? No, the audacity of hype and hipocracy.

Birthdays: Eugene Debs, American socialist leader 1855, James Elroy Flecker, poet and dramatist 1884, John Burdon Sanderson Haldane, geneticist 1892, Vivien Leigh, actress most noted for her roles as Scarlett O'Hara, in "Gone With The Wind" and Blanche DuBois in "A Streetcar Named Desire" 1913.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming

Soon after marrying a beautiful blonde, a Texan was busily preparing for the first day of deer hunting season. His new wife started nagging that he had never asked her to go along. After several hours of argument the wife won.

That next morning they drove out to the country, and the wife climbed up in a tree for a better hidden view, about 100 yards from his blind. Just as the hunter reached the blind, he heard a loud bang coming from the wife's position.

As the Texan ran up to her, he saw that she was holding her gun on a man nearby and shouting, "It's my deer! Get away from It!!

The sheepish-looking stranger just nodded slowly and said, "OK, lady..... It's your deer.... Just let me get my saddle off of it!"

Miss Annabell had just returned from her big trip to New York City and was having refreshments on the front porch of her daddy's mansion with her southern belle friends. She tells them the stories of her trip as they stare spellbound.

"You just wouldn't believe what they have there in New York City," says Miss Annabell. "They have men there who kiss other men on the lips." Miss Annabell's friends fan themselves and say, "Oh my! Oh my!" "They call them homosexuals," proclaims Miss Annabell. "Oh my! Oh my," proclaim the girls as they fan themselves.

"They also have women there in New York City who kiss other women on the lips!" "Oh my! Oh my," exclaim the girls. "What do they call them?" they ask. "They call them lesbians," says Miss Annabell.

"They also have men who kiss women between the legs, there in New York City," sighs Miss Annabell. "Oh my! Oh my! Oh my," exclaim the girls as the sit on the edge of their chairs and fan themselves even faster. "What do they call them?" they ask in unison.

Miss Annabell leans forward and says in a hush, "Why, when I caught my breath, I called him Precious."

That's it for today, my little southern belles. More on Friday.

Stay Tuned !