Wednesday, March 11, 2009

The Hits Just Keep On Coming !

When it comes time to make my journal entries, I never have trouble coming up with something to say. For this, I thank our political leaders, our celebrities, our financial leaders and institutions and the occasional local misfit for providing me with enough non-sensical fodder to write a book. The asinine and sometimes criminal acts of these people continually make the top stories and headlines. I sometimes wish the media, especially the ever sensational, brown nosing, biased CNN would take more of their time to publish stories about people who actually go above and beyond the call of duty and do something good for America.

Our latest real hero, U.S. Air Captain Chesley "Sully Sullenberger" was a breath of fresh air I think America had a brief moment of elation and the faith that there are people who we can actually look up to and admire. However, my pal Victor sent me an alarming email alerting me to the fact that CNN learned that Captain Sullenberger was a Republican which prompted CNN to publish our first picture of the day.

Okay, CNN didn't actually publish this picture but I'd be willing to bet that they would have if they knew they could get away with it.

Michael Jackson has announced that he will do "just one more" final tour. Jackson will perform at a series of London concerts after a long absence from the live circuit. "I'll be performing songs my fans wanna hear. This is it ... This is the final curtain call," he told a waiting crowd. He's playing ten shows at London's O2 arena.

Tickets are expected to sell quickly and fans are fighting for front row seats hoping for possible souvenirs, including his famous sequined glove. Then again, they just may be hoping that their souvenir may possibly when Michael's nose falls off.

Bernie Madoff, accused of bilking his clients out of more than 50 billion dollars will plead guilty to the charges. He will not cooperate with prosecutors and is not seeking a plea deal. By pleading guilty, Madoff will avoid a court trial and avoid implicating his family and associates, who I guarantee were also involved. Maybe someone should hire a sniper ........

Chris Brown facing felony charges for assaulting and beating girlfriend Rihanna is on Nickelodeons "Kids Choice Awards" and Nickelodeon, despite a circulating national petition for his removal from the ballot. Way to set an example, Nickelodeon!

President Obama will sign a 410 billion dollar, pork laden, spending bill today that contains more than 9,000 earmarks. Obama's political campaign manager and speech writer, Geppetto said that the bill is being signed because Obama inherited it. Geppetto's former position prior to his joining the Obama campaign was a woodcarver and wooden puppet maker in a small Italian village.

Country Music Singer Hank Locklin, passed away on March 8. For half a century, the Grand Ole Opry star masterfully fused the Honky Tonk and Nashville sounds, making timeless hits like "Please Help Me I'm Falling" and "Send Me the Pillow You Dream On." Locklin died at his home in Alabama of undisclosed causes at the age of 91.

This Date In History: 1302; According to Shakespeare, this is Romeo and Juliet's wedding day. 1941; President Franklin D. Roosevelt signs the Lend-Lease Act. It gives the US president authority to aid any nation whose defence is regarded as vital to the United States and to accept repayment.

1985; Mikhail Gorbachev is named first secretary of the Soviet Communist Party. 1990; Lithuania declares independence from the USSR. 2004; More than 180 people are killed when terrorist bombs are set off on rush-hour commuter trains in Madrid.

Picture Of The Day: It really angered me that the media jumped on Jessica Simpson's recent weight gain and it made me wonder what the assholes who were picking on her looked like and weighed. My bet is that none of them could hold a candle to her. Be that as it may, I'm happy to show you the newest Simpson photo sporting her "Daisy Dukes." I don't know about the supposed "critics", but she can go with me to AREA 51 any time she desires.

Birthdays: Torquato Tasso, Italian poet 1544, Frederick IX, king of Denmark 1899, Rupert Murdoch, Australian-born media magnate 1931, Harold Wilson, Labour politician and British Prime Minister 1916, Douglas Adams, British author, creator of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy 1952.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow. 2) One of my favorite computer pastimes is playing Pogo. 3) I took algebra 1 and 2 in school, but when it came to plane geometry, I decided business mathematics was the way to go. Besides, I have a fear of flying. 4) I watch Regis and Kelly almost every morning. 5) I bought a Nehru jacket about a month before they went out of style.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

A panda walked into a bar and said "I'd like a steak and a Coke please." The bartender took his order and the panda went to sit down. Soon a waiter brought over his meal. The panda ate it up, thanked and tipped the waiter and paid the bill. All this seemed pretty normal until the panda pulled out a gun from the depths of his fur, pulled the trigger and BANG! shot the waiter. The bartender said "You just shot my friend !" The panda calmly replied "Do you know what I am?" The bartender answered. "Yes, your a panda."

The panda said "Good, now look up 'panda' in the dictionary." And with that, the panda walked out of the bar. The bartender was a little unsure, however he was very eager to be enlighted on the subject of his friend's murder, so he went home to find his dictionary.

After a while, he found 'panda' and quickly read the definition: Panda: A black and white bear native to China. Eats shoots and leaves.

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me....I know we've been friends for a long time.....but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is."

Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"

That's it for today my busy little bloggers. More on Friday.

Stay Tuned !


Julie said...

Another wonderful and entertaining post. You have a way with words Jimmy. Loved the old lady joke.

Paula said...

I don't even know what all I wanted to comment on . You always give me my afternoon laugh. Will say I like the picture of the laptop in the john. I'm afraid if I had a laptop I would have mine in the john reading your blog and that is a compliment.

garnett109 said...

Yep Jimmy you are right about simpson at area 51, no jimmy not oj!

Karen said...

hey there...just cruising the neighborhood tonight.

Rose said...

I absolutely love "The Printables I Never Told You"!

Reading your journals can me a person forget all about their messed up day! Thank you!

Hugs, Rose

Myra said...

The last pic of someone using their laptop in the of my pet peeves is when people are using their cell phone in the rest room. I make it a POINT to flush, numerous times, just so they and whoever they're talking to can hear! C'mon...can't you just go to the restroon without talking on the cell phone! Disgusting!

Missie said...

I never have to check the news. All I've got to do is check your entry and I get all the latest! LOL

madcobug said...

You posted some interesting bits of news today. Helen

Linda's World said...

Are you out cruising around tonight on Friday the 13th! Well, I guess that's safer than being home and having a black cat cross your path. Thanks again for the lovely words about my little angel. This house seems so empty and she wasn't even very big. I saw the Michael Jackson announcement on the tube. I think he said like 5 times, "this will be my absolute last concert." So what was with that ? I wouldn't pay 5 cents to see him. And I'm hearing that poor Bernie Madoff doesn't like it in jail. He wants to be released until his sentencing in June. I hope they don't let him out~I bet he'd disappear in a heartbeat. Who cares if he has a Passport, he's got enough money to get into any country without one. I watch 'Regis & Kelly' too, then 'The View' and then 'Ellen'. Also watch AI and Dancing. You need to start watching AI now because they are down to the final 10 or 12. All good as far as I'm concerned. Linda in WA