Monday, March 16, 2009

Saint Patrick Banished Snakes From Ireland - We Should Harness That Ability With Our Government !

Well, tomorrow's Saint Patrick's Day and I'd like to start things off by wishing a Happy Saint Patrick's Day to your pal and mine, Irish Barry O'Bama. Barry's been busting his ass trying to spend our money as fast as he can and that's not an easy task. It seems Barry thinks he's found the pot o'gold and since he's been running the show, all his Irish friends and family are, or soon will be, reaping the rewards.

To the Irish, it's a good reason to party, assuming you've got a any money left. Actually, it's a good reason to party no matter where your forefathers came from and a reasonable excuse for getting home later than usual. Personally, I drink when I pick up my dry cleaning and to Potato Week, so for me, it's just another reason to head to AREA 51 and hang out with my pals.

AIG just announced they are going to give out over 165 million dollars in bonuses this year. This is after the government just gave them another shitload of bailout money. AIG says they are legally bound to give the bonuses. My question is why didn't our new government for "change" bother to ask them if they were legally bound to give out bonuses before the funded them with bailout money?

I would have asked that question first and if they said they were legally bound to give out the bonuses, I'd have told them to forget about they bailout. If they have enough money to pay bonuses for half-ass work, they don't need a bailout! But, that's just me.

Though my surname is Irish, I'm actually Irish-French and my maternal forefather came to America from Paris, France, in 1683. God only knows what happened after that, but from that side of the family alone, there are Irish, Scottish, British, Welsh and French surnames. On my Irish side, we were unable to trace our roots past my great-grandfather as most of the bars and taverns have since been sold or folded.

This Date In History: 1850; Nathaniel Hawthorne's The Scarlet Letter is published. 1872; The first English FA cup is won by Wanderers, beating the Royal Engineers. 1926; American scientist Robert H. Goddard launches the first successful liquid-fuelled rocket. 1968; United States soldiers massacre hundreds of men, women, and children at the village of My Lai, in South Vietnam. 1976; Harold Wilson resigns as prime minister.

Picture Of The Day: Irish green is the obvious theme for today's pictures and I even talked the Eagle into getting in on the act. This is not an easy task as the Eagle does as he likes and when he likes. I was able to blackmail him though because of a picture I have of him in one of his amorous moments.

It seems that eagles can only procreate while soaring high. The eagle couple pair up, then fall toward the ground at an unbelievable speed as they make love. As Miss Eagle and Mister Eagle were in the act of making love, she looked down and realized that she was dangerously close to dying, so she faked it. Mister Eagle no longer boasts about his love making abilities.

Birthdays: James Madison, fourth president of the United States 1751, George Simon Ohm, German physicist 1787, Rosa Bonheur, French painter 1822, Sully Prudhomme, French poet and Nobel laureate 1839, Émile Cammaerts, Belgian poet 1878, Bernardo Bertolucci, Italian film director 1940.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I support bacteria, they're the only culture some people have. 2) I abhor discussions or debates where one side makes their point of view, then constantly (and loudly) interrupts the other side's point of view. As a moderator, I would stand up and slap the offending party upside his head. 3) I am sympathetic to one's plight until I hear it for the tenth time. After that, I simply tell them I to go tell someone who actually gives a shit. 4) I'm really tired of people trying to be politically correct instead of telling the truth about how they actually feel. I may be a lot of things, but I'm not a hypocrite. 5) When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

Paddy O'Malley had been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally said that the bar was closing. So the Irishman stood up to leave and fell flat on his face. He tried to stand one more time; same result. He figured he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that would sober him up.

Once outside, he stood up and fell flat on his face. So he decided to crawl the 4 blocks to his home. When he arrived at the door he stood up and again fell flat on his face. He crawled through the door and into his bedroom. When he reached his bed he tried one more time to stand up. This time he managed to pull himself upright, but he quickly fell right into bed and was sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

He was awakened the next morning to his wife standing over him, shouting, "So, you've been out drinking again!!" Paddy asked innocently, "What makes you say that?" His wife replied, "The pub called. You left your wheelchair there again."

A very inebriated lady walked into a bar shortly before closing time, sat at the bar and ordered, "Barbender, barbender, I would like a Martuni." The bartender brought her a Martini, which she drinks in one gulp. "Barbender, I would like another Martuni." Again, the bartender brought her a Martini.

By this time the lady is leaning heavily forward, barely able to hang on. She called, "Barbender, your Martuni is giving me heartburn." Patiently, the bartender came near her and said, "Lady, I am not a barbender, but a bartender, and what you have been drinking is not a Martuni, but a Martini, and finally, you do not have heartburn, your tits are hanging in the ashtray.

That's it for today my little leprechauns. Have a Happy Saint Patrick's Day and more on Wednesday.

Stay Tuned !


Rose said...

I'm furious about the AIG crap.....someone should have the power to do something about that.............Ugh....

Legally bound *ss....they should all be handcuffed and brought straight to jail!

Hugs, Rose

Julie said...

I don't even like to read the news anymore. Makes me want to hit someone. Probably get me arrested. However, I loved the jokes.

Paula said...

And a Happy Saint Patrick's Day to you too. A green coke sign must prove something. Like the entry as always.

Ally Lifewithally said...

Happy St Paddy's Day Jimmy ~ Ally x

natalie said...

hi Jimmy! thanks for a funny Good Luck from the old blarney stone!
he-he-he! I loved this entry! Guess I should have known that you were part Irish! wink and then part French and ..wink wink!lol
I love that part where you said"not so sure what happened then because the straight up Irish became French etc!lol!
I love Robert Goddard and I am please that you've mentioned him!
I think that you have the Luck fo the Blarney stone because you have a great family, great friends and everything!

JOHNSWORLD08 said...

This whole AIG thing is just crazy. Happy St Patrickd DAY. iVE heard Area 51 A lot since i started blogging six months ago. What is that??