Monday, April 6, 2009

A Fine AREA 51 Weekend !

Nostalgia has a way of involving itself with my social calendar and so Saturday night I was out and about frequenting some of the AREA 51 night clubs around the area that I haven't visited in a while. It turned out to be quite the evening and I ran into quite a few people that I haven't seen for some time.

The first place I stopped was Lakes Cafe and Sports Bar and I was surprised to see my pal, Brenda, who is now working there as a bartender. Brenda used to be one of the bartender at Krystel's Restaurant and Lounge and it was great to see her again.

I spent some time speaking with my friends and listening to the music at Lakes before leaving to go to The Billiards Club. Once again, it was good to see the familiar faces there and I spent some time speaking with James the bartender, who always has great jokes to share with his clientele.

A funny thing about nightlife is that the nightclubs and their patrons become more and more strange the later you stay out. Philosophers and thinkers abound at this time of the night and it is crucial that you have the ability to give that understanding nod of agreement. Additionally, it is even more important to have the ability to speak and understand Jack Daniels. Fortunately, I am fluent in Jack Daniels, having spent several years dating a young lass who was schooled at the University of Tennessee.

Everyone seems always to be better looking near closing time but there's an exception to every rule. There are some night spots, especially parts of the Florida Keys, that it's a good idea to go ugly, early. That decision is normally based on the ratio of women to men. Of course, if you're a female, you're more apt to sit back and be choosy as you'll normally have the pick of the litter. You may have to kiss a number of frogs before you find your Prince Charming, though.

All and all, I had a great time in AREA 51 and I got home in the neighborhood of 4:00, which is a neighborhood I'm quite familiar with.

Carrie Underwood won both the Top Female Vocalist and the Entertainer of the Year awards at the Academy of Country Music Awards last evening. Brad Paisly won the Top Male Vocalist. Rascal Flatts won the Top Vocal Group award for the seventh straight year and they might as well rename the award for them, because they're just that good. Underwood is the first female to win the Entertainer Of The Year Award since the 2000 win by the Dixie Chicks. Taylor Swift won the Album Of The Year Award.

This Date In History: 1199; Richard I is fatally wounded by an arrow during an insignificant skirmish. 1830; Joseph Smith founds the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, also known as Mormonism. 1896; The first modern Olympic Games are held in Athens. 1909; American explorer Robert Peary, it is generally accepted, leads the first party to reach the North Pole. 1917; The United States declares war on Germany and enters World War I.

Picture Of The Day: Nightlife is the subject and today's pictures are reflective of today's theme. The fun part of a good party night is that you always run across something or someone you know and you never know what's going to happen.

Then again, there's always the chance that you'll run into that certain someone you were hoping to avoid. It's always handy to have a prepared statement pertaining to the reason that you're out and about when you reported earlier that you were sick and bed ridden to the point that you were considering contact the Mayo Clinic. Relying on the chance that using the "miracle occurred " line of defense is not advisable.

Birthdays: Raphael, Renaissance painter 1483, James Mill, philosopher-economist 1773, Harry Houdini, professional name of Ehrich Weiss, American magician, born in Budapest, Hungary 1874, Anthony Fokker, Dutch-American aircraft designer 1890, James Dewey Watson, American biochemist 1928.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) Being a singer and musician, I'm always torn between my musical dignity and my sex life when dancing with an attractive woman who seductively sings out of tune in my ear. My sex life usually wins out in the end (no pun intended). 2) I often wonder that if one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too? 3) The determining factor as to who one chooses to dance with is based on quantity of drinks consumed and time of night. 4) I have no patience for parents who allow little Johnny to run rampant around stores, screaming and raising havoc among other shoppers in the store. One woman once said to me, "I just don't know what to make of him." I said, "How about an end table?" 5) When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday. She spends $5,000 and feels really good about the result. Two weeks after the surgery she decides to try her new face out in public. She stops at a newsstand and buys a paper. Before leaving, she says to the salesclerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?" The sales clerk said, "About 32." The woman says happily, "I'm actually 47."

After that she goes into McDonald's for lunch, and asks the order taker the same question, to which the reply is, "Oh you look about 29." She says, "I am actually 47." After lunch, she is outside standing at the bus stop. She asks an old man the same question. The man replies, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a woman's age. If I put my under your blouse and feel your breasts for ten minutes, I will be able to tell your exact age."

As there was no one around, the woman thought what the hell and let him slip her hand under her blouse. Ten minutes later the old man says, "OK, You are 47." Stunned the woman says, "That was brilliant! How did you do that?" The old man replies, "I was behind you in McDonald's."

Sleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb, and Quasimodo were all talking one day. Sleeping Beauty said, "I believe myself to be the most beautiful girl in the world." Tom Thumb said, "I must be the smallest person in the world." Quasimodo said, "I absolutely have to be the most disgusting person in the world."

So they all decided to go to the Guinness Book of World Records to have their claims verified. Sleeping Beauty went in first and came out looking deliriously happy. "It's official, I AM the most beautiful girl in the world." Tom Thumb went next and emerged triumphant, "I am now officially the smallest person in the world."

Sometime later, Quasimodo comes out looking utterly confused and says."Who the hell is Rosie O'Donnell ?

An Avon Lady (not from cold and rainy Washington State) was delivering products in a high-rise and was riding in the elevator. Suddenly, she had the powerful urge to pass gas. Since no one was in the elevator, she let it go and it was a doozy. Of course, the elevator then stopped at the next floor, so she quickly used some Avon Pine-Scented Spray to cover up the smell.

A drunken man entered the elevator and immediately made a face. "Holy cow! What's that smell?" The Avon Lady said, "I don't know, sir. I don't smell anything. What does it smell like to you?" The drunk said, "Like someone shit a Christmas tree."

That's it for today my little Tequila sunrises. More on Wednesday.

Stay Tuned !


Julie said...

Oh man, I can not imagine staying up that late without being at work these days. What's your secret, sleep til 5? I love your Printable things.

Heli gunner Tom said...

Hi Jimmy,
Jack Daniels is my number ONE FAV. MEDICINE! And the first time I ever drank Johnny Walker Black label was in Saigon, 1968-- the good old days! I don't drink as much any more, but I buy only the best when I do. I honestly believe that a man can have a few good drinks and still be a nice guy,sociable and friendly. I see Whiskey and other spirits as a medicine to help a person kill pain, relax and feel good. Just my opinion. I am feeling better today with no hurts.
Have a great day!

Tom S

garnett109 said...

Yep, What Tommy Said!

Paula said...

I'm more the gluttonous eater of meat type but to each his own. lol

Anne said...

As usual you put a smile on my face. My back went out two weeks ago and I haven't been the same since. It's sad when you're back goes out more than you do. After reading this post, I've decided to have a martini.....for medicinal purposes only, right? Anne

Brother Kirt said...

I'm more of a JWR guy myself, or, whomever is buying of course. By the way Jimmy, life without music would Bb!!!!!!!!Think about it..

Pat said...

A nice start to my day Jimmy. Loved the jokes as usual and I'm glad you made it clear that the Avon lady wasn't from Washington'd have lost a regular reader, I'm sure!

My husband and I visited the Jack Daniel Distillery a couple of years back, we couldn't buy any though because it's a dry county, instead we bought an old (empty) JD bottle from a sort of antique/rubbish shop!

Anonymous said...

I can somehow believe your sex life wins out in that battle :-).
I don't need much sleep, I get 5 hours a night and that works fine for me, but drinking combined with it would probably leave me useless the next day. I guess I am old now. But I still drink some wine and a cosmo here & there. ~Mary

Pamela said...

Hi Jimmy! Your nightlife sounds like a lot of fun! Sounds like you have friends all over town. How do you manage to stay out 'till 4am?? OMG I couldn't do it. Ok...well....maybe if I were having FUN I could! LOL!
Enjoyed this entry. Nice read to start my day.

Missie said...

Pass me some of that Jack Daniels! Lord knows I need a good swift drink. LOL

Enjoy your week!

Ally Lifewithally said...

There is no way I could keep awake till 4am ~ loved your jokes especially the lady who had the face lift ~ very funny :o) ~ Ally x

Linda's World said...

I'm several days behind here. But you got me with the Avon lady joke. That was funny. Linda in weird weather Washington

Joann said...

This post made me think back to my old 'Area 51' days!! ALOT of good memories there!!