Monday, April 20, 2009

Mundane Monday - So Far, So Good !

Fifty year old Mark Martin won Saturday night's Nascar race at Phoenix International Speedway. The talented Arkansas driver was only the third driver in Nascar history to win a race at the age of fifty or older. Martin is not only admired by race fans, he's also respected and admired by his fellow drivers.

Known as gentleman's driver and fair racer, Martin has won the pole position for the last two races and it was only a matter of time that he would once again go to the winner's circle. It was his first win for car owner Rick Hendrick and the 36th win of his Nascar Sprint Cup career. Additionally, Martin is a Nascar Nationwide champion with 48 wins, a Camping World Truck series champion with 7 wins and a 5 time International Race Of Champions (IROC) titleist.

The Cat's Ass Trophy (CAT) Award was dusted off and returned to this journal on Friday after a brief respite. The (CAT Award) is given to stupid people for doing stupid things and is open for nominations each week. Should you see or hear of any deserving recipients, by all means, please feel free to nominate them.

LInda in Washington State nominated both Hulk Hogan, for his very crude and disturbing remarks about his soon-to-be ex-wife and Michael and Kristy, the two airhead Domino's Pizza workers who grossed out the nation by doing nasty things to customer's food orders. To make matters worse, they posted a video of their actions on YouTube.

Garnett chimed in with an additional nominee in his Friday comment and added Nick Bollea, the son of Hulk Hogan, who crashed his car 8 months ago while drag racing. The crash left his passenger, John Graziano, 22, with severe head injuries and he remains in a semiconscious state in a hospital. Incidentally, in a Clearwater, Florida courtroom Friday, Bollea was sentenced to eight months in jail for his actions. Eight months in jail seems to be a rather paltry amount of time for Bollea's stupidity and actions.

The actions of both Nick Bollea and his father, Hulk Hogan (Terry Bollea) definitely qualify them as nominees for the (CAT Award). In the case of Nick Bollea, jail time, community service, suspended license, and five years probation are only partial payback for the damage he has done. Unfortunately, the court system makes the decision as to the proper restitution and we have to live with their decision.

Hulk Hogan's remarks were probably made out of frustration, but stating that he could understand what O.J. Simpson did to his ex-wife, Nicole, was disturbing and in poor taste. If Hogan had used any other example from any other divorce case, especially in jest, it probably would have been shrugged off and attributed to the source.

As for Michael and Kristy, the one thing that anyone should be guaranteed while dining or ordering out is to have their food prepared and served in a clean and pristine manner. I have heard too many times of people who do not send improperly prepared, undercooked or burned food back to the kitchen for fear of the "chef's revenge." It is a simple and distinct right to expect properly prepared food from any restaurant or eatery. It is reprehensible that this incident took place and although both have been fired, criminal charges are and should be pending.

The Cat's Ass Trophy goes to Michael and Kristy and to Domino's Pizza, as well for not properly overseeing the pair.

A shoutout to the United States Navy Seals and to all the members of our armed forces.

This Date In History: 1657; Admiral Robert Blake defeats the Spanish fleet at Santa Cruz Bay, Tenerife. 1841; Edgar Allan Poe's "The Murders in the Rue Morgue," considered to be the first detective story, is published in Philadelphia. 1902; Marie and Pierre Curie isolate the radioactive element radium.

Picture Of The Day: Since we're going back to pick up a few items from my previous posts, I thought I'd bring back my pal Woody to say hello. Many of you know him from my posting days on AOL and he's alive and well.

There's no real theme for today's pictures. I posted Mark Martin's photographs to go with the story and the rest of today's pictures are spur of the moment.

Birthdays: Napoleon, emperor of France 1808, Daniel Chester French, American sculptor 1850, Joan MirĂ³, Spanish painter 1893, Harold Lloyd, American film actor 1894, Tito Puente, Puerto Rican musician and bandleader 1923.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I think that if you must choose between two evils you should pick the one you've never tried before. 2) My cat Shithead (Possum) prefers iced water instead of tap water. When I serve his water, he sniffs it, then turns and looks at me with his "have we forgotten something?" face. 3) I do not Twitter or tweet although I once slept with a lovely bird who chirped. 4) I cannot stand to listen to the big-mouthed liberal Joy Behar (The View). She is obnoxious and frequently interrupts other speakers. Other than a failed career as a dirty-mouthed comedian, I cannot fathom what warrants her being a member of "The View" panel. Then again, the same show also hired Star Jones and Rosie O'Fat Ass 5) If I stand in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear me, am I still wrong?

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

Two 80 year old men sat talking over the weather and the latest in medical science when one brings up the latest male medical miracle, Viagra. The other wasn't familiar with Viagra and asked the first man what it was for.

The first man said, "It's the greatest thing I've ever known. The Fountain of Youth!! Makes you feel like a man of 30." The second then asked, "Can you get it over the counter?" The first man said, "You probably could, if you took 2 pills."

A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.

After a few minutes, the man turned to the priest and asked, "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?" The priest replies, "My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol and a contempt for your fellow man." The drunk muttered, "Well, I'll be damned," and returned to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and said, "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?" The drunk said, "I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."

That's it for today my little chipmunks. More on Wednesday.

Stay Tuned !


Martha said...

I like #5 on Printable Things I Never Told You best - now that's funny! :-)

Julie said...

I nominate Obama for the CAT award after he covered up the name of Jesus at his speech at Georgetown University. And I nominate Georgetown University for doing it.

I also love your printable things.

Pamela said...

#4 on Printable things...I couldn't agree more!
Congrats to the 50yr old racer!! 50 ain't so old after all, eh?

Paula said...

I agree with number 1 in printable things.

Linda's World said...

The last joke was greaaaat ! (That was a Tony the Tiger great by the way) If PSH likes ice water then he should have it. He is afer all, the king of your castle. Linda in Washington where the temp went up to and over 70* today.

garnett109 said...

Jimmy there are more pirates out there , that'll be good target practice for the navy seals!

Rose said...

Your printable things are getting better and better!

So,you don't Tweet! LOL


Tabby said...

Hi Jimmy

I am glad Mark Martin won the other night, it's been a while and he deserved the win. I like the Obama cartoon and your jokes :)

Missie said...

Congats Mark Martin on his win!

I agree with Julie. We need to nominate Obama for the CAT award!