Monday, May 11, 2009

Beautiful Women - My Favorite Subject !

My journey to AREA 51 this week turned into an evening of unintentional observation. As I sat at the bar with my spiritual advisor Johnny W. Black, I couldn't help but notice the amazing number of elegant women sitting near or at the bar. More importantly, one woman in particular had made a couple of furtive glances my way. This, of course, prompted Mr. Black to suggest a number of innovative ideas on how to respond.

Since I initially do not take heed of any advice from Mr. Black, I glanced at my shirt to assure myself that had not stuck my sleeve into the salsa dip, nor dropped any on the front of my shirt. I reached for a napkin and wiped my mouth in case I had inadvertently dribbled any of the salsa onto my chin.

Now self assured that I was fairly presentable, I looked up at the lady that I'll now refer to as "Furtive." Alas, "Furtive's" gaze had now been redirected to a man at the end of the bar, who will be referred to as "Studley." Sitting with "Studley" was a very pretty blonde, who, after noticing Studley looking at Furtive, was now looking at me. <aside: Are you following me camera guy?>

At this point in time, I became so amused at the actions and reactions of the players involved that I found myself grinning at the entire situation. My grin seemed to inspire the blonde who also began to grin obviously unaware of what was amusing to me.

One of my favorite hobbies is watching women and I have to admit that I became absorbed in the silent conversations of the eye that were going all around the bar. Studley was enraptured by the constant glances of Furtive and very unaware that his lady was not letting any grass grow under her feet either.

Suddenly, Furtive's eyes were redirected to the blonde and Studley, noticing the change, turned and look at his lady. Both then noticed the direction of the blonde's eyes and in a flash, all eyes were redirected at me. I ordered another Johnny Walker Black and grabbed a menu to browse.

A slow song began to play and Studley, suddenly reminded of the lyrics to the song "Who's Making Love To Your Old Lady, While You Were Out Making Love," took his lady out to dance. Furtive once again began to look my way with a "why don't you ask me to dance" look, but I didn't respond. Sorry darling, I don't play on the back-up squad.

This Date In History: 330; Constantinople becomes the new capital of the Roman Empire. 1949; Siam, in southeast Asia, changes its name to Thailand. 1981; Jamaican-born reggae singer Bob Marley dies of cancer. 1997; IBM computer Deep Blue beats chess champion Garry Kasparov in a six-game series.

Picture Of The Day: Sexy women, their alluring, sensuous look can sometimes be breathtaking and that's the subject of today's theme. Naturally, my cat Shithead (Possum) demanded equal time so I had to add a couple of his favorite pictures as well.

Two of these pictures remind me of my lady friends. The featured picture looks strikingly like the lovely Rocio. The picture of the lovely vixen with the hat and the fiery bubble reminds me of my sweet Nicole. Both of these beautiful ladies are featured on my sidebar.

Birthdays: Irving Berlin, composer 1888, Henry Morgenthau, Jr., US publisher and public official 1891, Martha Graham, choreographer, dancer, and teacher 1893, Salvador DalĂ­, Spanish painter, draughtsman, print maker, designer, sculptor, film-maker, and writer 1904.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I really missed my Mom yesterday. 2) One nice thing about egotists is they don't talk about other people. 3) I enjoy cooking and two of my specialties are Veal Francais and Chicken Francais, both served with wild rice and mushrooms. 4) I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Al Sharpton preaches. I'd also like to know where he gets his money and why is he always part of the problem and not the solution. 5) One of the songs that left a mental impression and visualization came when I was around six years old. The song is entitled "Ghost Riders In The Sky" and it was performed by Vaughn Munro.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

A woman went to her doctor for a follow-up visit after the doctor had prescribed testosterone, a male hormone, for her. She was a little worried about some of the side effects she was experiencing.

She said to the Doctor, ''The hormones you've been giving me have really helped, but I'm afraid that you're giving me too much. I've started growing hair in places that I've never grown hair before.''

The doctor reassured her, ''A little hair growth is a perfectly normal side effect of testosterone. Just where has this hair appeared?'' The lady replied, "On my testicles, which is something else I want to talk to you about."

John just graduated from clinical psychology and opened his first office. After some successful advertising he is astounded to have nearly 300 people wanting to be in group therapy. John decided to rent a big hall and invite the entire group.

To break the ice, and to get the therapy started, John decided to ask a show of hands how often the attendees had sex. He first asked for a show of hands of all the people who had sex almost every night. A modest number of hands were raised.

He then asked, how many had sex once a week? This time a larger number of hands were raised. John then asked how many had sex once or twice a month? Again a few hands were raised.

After John polled his group several more times he noticed one guy sitting off to the side with this huge beaming grin on his face. John noticed that the guy never raised his hand, so he asked him how often he had sex. The guy said, "Once a year." John's says, "Why are you so happy getting sex only once a year?" The grinning guy responds, "Tonight's the night!"

A woman who had bags under her eyes and wanted to get them removed so she went to a plastic surgeon. She tells the doctor, "I cant get rid of these bags please help me." The doctor says, "I have a new technique. I will put a lever in the behind your ear and when when you see bags under your eyes, turn the lever and the bags will go away.

So she gets this lever behind her head and leaves. It works and works for a while until one day she cant get rid of the bags under her eyes. She turns the lever but they just won't go away. So she goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, this was working for a while, but I cant seem to get rid of these bags under my eyes."

The doctor replies, "Lady those aren't bags, those are your boobs." The woman says, "Now that would explain this goatee."

That's it for today my little foxes. This week's special event, the Preakness Stakes at Pimlico, part of the Triple Crown of Horse Racing, will be part of Friday's post. More about this and other topics on Wednesday.

Stay Tuned !


garnett109 said...

Yep Jim, I sure do miss my Mom Also!

Robin said...

You're so funny!

Julie said...

I miss my mom also and how many time have I told you not to use my photo, you know the one from my back, LOL. I love watching the mating game at bars. I some times bring my camera and just catch it for chuckles.

Myra said...

I love this song! I've only heard only one other person sing it, Arielle Dombasle, with a french accent...sensual, indeed!

Joann said...

I'm sorry you missed your mom yesterday. I'm sure she was with you, though!

Good for you not playing leftovers for that woman who did know how to appreciate you in the first place!! HER LOSS!!!

Paula said...

I used to have one of those little black pill box hats with a veil. Those were the days. Nice entry as always.

Tabby said...

Hi Jimmy,

I could just picture in my head the scene going on at area 51 that night, glad you did not ask her to dance. I love the pictures of the ladies w/cat's faces, Possum was jealous. Sorry to hear your missing your mom :( Have a good day!

Martha said...

LOL! You always find the best stuff! Your journey to area 51 made me miss and be glad at the same time that I don't quite go to the same area 51 as I did in my younger days.

Linda's World said...

Great entry Jimmy. I haven't been in a bar for amny years, but it sounds like I haven't missed a thing~the same games are still being played. My mama has been gone since Oct 8, 1987 and I miss her every day. Linda from Washington but presently located in Pasadena, CA