Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Sometimes The Daily News Makes Me Drink Although I Also Drink To Potato Week !

It's politics as usual in Chicago as the FBI has released wiretaps of Senator Roland Burris bribing then Governor Rod Blagojevich for the appointment to the senatorial seat vacated by fellow Chicagoan Barack Obama-Lama-Ding-Dong. Burris, whose story has changed numerous times during and after the Blagojevich senatorial appointment investigation, still maintains he did nothing wrong even after the wiretaps were released.

Politicians ofttimes drive me to drink, but most of the time I just take my own car.

Politics, in general, is now and always has been a "you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours" situation. If you honestly believe that large corporations and wealthy businessmen make large donations to candidates because they believe they are well intentioned people, then I've got some great swampland in Florida I'd like to sell you.

And speaking of politics......

The New York Times is reporting that new evidence pin-points AT&T as the culprit behind Kris Allen's 'American Idol' victory. During the final performances, the mobile company provided phones for Kris Allen fans to cast blocks of votes. There appear to have been no similar efforts to provide this service to supporters of runner-up Adam Lambert.

Last week, AT&T representatives, whose mobile phone network is the only one that can be used to cast "Idol" votes, provided the free services at two parties in Arkansas after the final performance episode. During the event, the representatives provided instructions on how to send "power texts," which send 10 or more text messages at one time. According to sources, the power texts have an "exponentially greater effect on voting than do single text messages or calls to the show's toll-free phone lines."

Although I do not watch American Idol because of my profound distain for asshole Simon Cowell, I did see the final performances of Kris and Adam, I thought both were excellent singers, each with his own particular style and forte. As for their stage appearances, I thought Kris looked like the typical All-American boy and Adam looked like he felt out of place without his matching handbag and high heels.

I've added some new songs to my playlist and one in particular is called "The Perfect Country Song" by David Allen Coe. As a singer and musician, I enjoy most all types of music with the exception of (c)rap music. Even that style of music normally has a good beat and a great sound. My problem with hip hop music is that I'm so accustomed to conjugating my verbs, I find the lyrics hard to understand.

Nevertheless, I do enjoy most all music and I sing in English and Spanish. I have a tendency to follow a particular song when I like it and that's probably why my playlist is a bit eclectic.

David Allen Coe's song is obviously country music (which I was raised on) and a bit long, but if you have the chance to listen to the song, pay heed to the lyrics, because that's one of the reasons I enjoy it.

Author's Note: May 30; My pal, Joann wisely informed me that David Allen Coe's song in entitled "You Never Even Call Me By My Name" and not "The Perfect Contry Song." My bad! Thanks Joannn!

This Date In History: 1937; The Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco, California, opens. 1964; Jawaharlal Nehru, Indian nationalist leader, statesman, and first prime minister of independent India, dies. 1994; Nobel Prize-winning author Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn returns to live in his native Russia after 20 years in exile. 1996; Russian President Boris Yeltsin signs a truce with Zelimkhan Yandarbiyev, leader of the breakaway state of Chechnya, although fighting continues on both sides.

Picture Of The Day: Since today's comments are a mixture of thoughts, I figured the pictures might as well follow the same line. I found some pictures in particular that I liked quite a bit, so I thought I would share them with you.

I'm fortunate to have several wonderful ladies in my life and if there ever was a theme tying them together, it's cocktails, especially martinis. Beginning with My Perfect Martini and my other ladies who shall remain nameless, these martini pictures are for you. In fact, these cocktails are for all the ladies.

Birthdays: Julia Ward Howe, author and reformer 1819, Wild Bill Hickok, frontiersman, marksman, and law enforcement officer 1837, Isadora Duncan, dancer 1877, Rachel Carson, marine biologist and author 1907, Henry Kissinger, American scholar and Nobel laureate, statesman, Secretary of State under Presidents Richard M. Nixon and Gerald R. Ford 1923.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) At the bank yesterday, I went through the little rope maze that they put up when the bank is busy. The funny thing is that there were no customers in the bank, yet I went through the maze anyway. The teller gave me my deposit receipt but neglected to give me my cheese reward. 2) Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. 3) I recently checked out some of my high school pals on Facebook and most of them are old people. 4) Based on my lifetime experiences, I believe that anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong. 5) I've always wondered who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out."

Of course, some of my special ladies don't drink so I always provide some of my special stock for them.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road. He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car. The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see what has become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit is dead. The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry.

A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway sees a man crying on the side of a road and pulls over. She steps out of the car and asks man what's wrong. "I feel terrible," he explains, "I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it."

The blonde says, "Don't worry." She runs to her car and pulls out a spray can. She walks over to the limp, dead rabbit, bends down, and sprays the contents onto the rabbit. The rabbit jumps up, waves its paw at the two of them and hops off down the road. Ten feet away the rabbit stops, turns around and waves again, he hops down the road another 10 feet, turns and waves, then hops out of sight.

The man is astonished. He runs over to the woman and demands, "What is in that can? What did you spray on that rabbit?" The woman turns the can around so that the man can read the label. It says, "Hair Spray - Restores life to dead hair, adds permanent wave."

Author's Note: My apologies for that last joke.

A woman went to her doctor for a follow-up visit after the doctor had prescribed testosterone for her. She was a little worried about some of the side effects she was experiencing. The woman said, "Doctor, the hormones you've been giving me have really helped, but I'm afraid that you're giving me too much. I've started growing hair in places that I've never grown hair before."

The doctor reassured her. "A little hair growth is a perfectly normal side effect of testosterone. Just where has this hair appeared?" The woman replied, "On my balls."

A Marine was coming home from the Pentagon one day. He noticed that there was a lot more traffic than normal. As he got further up the road all of the traffic had come to a halt. He saw a policeman coming towards his car, so he asked the cop what was wrong.

The cop said, "Man, we are in a crisis situation. President Obama is in the middle of the road, very upset. He does not have the $33.5 million that he owes his political campaign and his lawyers. He is threatening to douse himself in gasoline and start a fire."

The Marine asked the cop exactly what he was doing there." The cop said, "I feel sorry for the president so I am going car to car asking for donations." The Marine asked, "How much do you have so far?" The cop replied, "Well as of right now only 33 gallons, but many people are still siphoning as we speak!"

That's it for today my little turnip greens. It's hump day and AREA 51 is my destination this evening. More on Friday.

Stay Tuned !


Paula said...

Thats exactly what I thought when I went to my 50th high school reunion. They sure have aged.

garnett109 said...

Next year is my 30th reunion

Rose said...

I heard about that AT&T incident on the News this morning regarding American Idol.

Well, once you add the audience to vote, are you really getting a professional opinion on talent or are you just getting your family and friends voting????

I was disappointed with "Dancing with the Stars" outcome because I truly thought Gilles was a better dancer! But, you add the media and Shawn one by 1% of the votes from those text messages! The Judges already selected Gilles! I'm a ballroom dancer and I agree with the judges on this one!

You are only allowed ten votes and the winner is not selected until the next day to give everyone a chance to vote. I don't know if American Idol has the same choices.

Hey, if you were on American Idol, I would vote for you because I like you and think you have a great voice but am I a professional to make this sort of decision.........NO.

Hugs, Rose

Missie said...

Have a good rest of your week!

Tabby said...

Thanks for my daily laugh! (c)rap my thoughts exactly. I watched Idol on and off this season and I really think Adam deserved to win he is a flamboyant showman for sure. But he will do better in 2nd place with none of those crappy American Idol restrictions. Hope you have a thirsty Thursday!

Coelha :B said...

I'll have an Appletini por favor... :) I hate politics..especially, office politics..... :) Have a great end of the week! :) Julie

Cathy said...

What a nice place to come and relax, read a few interesting tidbits. Enjoyed your playlist btw. Also enjoyed listening to Burris try to weasel his lying way out of the muck on "Hardball" today. The guy can't stutter fast enough lol.

Janice said...

Hi Jimmy, my friend Rose Sisti forwarded your blog to me which I thoroughly enjoyed. Keep up the good work. Looking forward to the next one.


Julie said...

I get so out of the loop on my week to work. I hadn't heard any of these latest scandals. Not surprising. Loved the jokes and I have some spare gas....

Joann said...

LOL @ 'Barack-Obama-Lama-Ding-Dong'!! LOVE IT!! I heard that American Idol controversy once before when Ruben Studdard won... and btw, I LOVE LOVE LOVE Simon Cowell!!! LOL!!!

Do you know how many people are going through your playlist looking for a song called 'The Perfect Country Song'.... let them know it's really called 'You Never Even Called Me By My Name'!! Great song, by a 'late great'!! Rap is about the only kind of music I can't listen to either!! Hate it!!

LOVED #1 & #2 Printable things... LOL!! And I'll definitely donate MORE than my share of Gasoline, I don't care HOW MUCH it costs!!