I Searched All Day For My "Get Up And Go" - There's A Good Chance That I May Have Left It In AREA 51 Last Night !

I must admit that over the years, I've seen and done quite a bit. I've been married, have my real estate business, traveled, and been very fortunate to know quite a few people. Musically, I've been blessed and I have performed at many different venues, playing the guitar, keyboards and singing. I've dated a variety of lovely women and, for the most part, am in good health (normal wear and tear excepted). Yet, it dawned on me last evening that there are still a number of things that I've yet to do.

For example, I'm not sure if I have gallivanted. I have been accused of same, but I really don't know if I have actually "gallivanted." What's more, there are other things I don't know if I did. I think I've moseyed and I'm relatively sure I've ambled. On the other hand, I don't know under what conditions one would mosey as opposed to amble. I think John Wayne probably moseyed quite a bit.

I recall my mother asking me why I traipsed all over the house creating havoc. I didn't know how to answer or whether to take offense to her words as I didn't know what "traipse" and "havoc" meant.

I've ranged, roamed and roved and I'm not sure which one I liked the best. Moreover, maybe there where times when I roamed when I should have roved. Maybe I should have roamed, then meandered for a bit, then roved.

Buffalo's roam.....of this I'm sure because of the song "Home On The Range." I'm a little puzzled as to the lyrics though. It goes, "Oh give me a home where the buffalo roam, where the deer and the antelope play." I don't know about their home but I imagine my lyrics would have been, " Oh give me a home, where the buffalo roam and I'll show you a house full of shit."

I don't gad! Flies gad! Besides, it doesn't sound too masculine. I don't tramp either...don't like the sound of it. There's a Civil War song called "Prisoner's Hope" and the words are, "Tramp, tramp, tramp, the boys are marching..." Methinks that if there are a bunch of soldiers and three tramps..... Well, you do the math.

Congratulations to President Bill Clinton and all of the other American representatives who successfully secured the release and freedom of media reporters Laura Ling and Euna Lee from North Korea. In a time where world wide tension seems to be an every day occurrence, it is nice to see an occasional pause in the name of humanity to allow reason and compassion to prevail.

I went to dinner last evening with my long time friend Joe and his lady, Linda. Joe and I have been friends since junior high and over the years, we've had some great times and experiences, some printable, others, not so much. To give you an idea of Joe's size, I'm 6 feet tall and weigh about 170. He's a big'un! We had dinner a a great Nicaraguan restaurant in Miami lakes called El Novillo which I enjoy very much.

Although my intentions were to dine indoors, we initially sat on the terrace for cocktails and it was so pleasant, we dined outside as well. Anyone who knows Miami in the summer is aware that the humidity normally is not suitable for outside dinning but a rare but refreshing breeze made the experience quite nice.

A laid back, leisurely dinner and great friends made the evening very special and we reminisced and traded stories for almost two hours. After dinner, we had coffee, Joe and Linda opting for American coffee and I had my usual cup of Cafe Cubano.

The night being quite young and our party now armed with cocktails, we went to AREA 51 to continue the evening. Tuesday nights are not normally a very active night for most bars, but Joe wanted to go to a place we always frequented in the past now called The Alibi Martini Bar. I was aware that they had a good jazz band playing on Tuesday nights but I certainly wasn't prepared for what happened next.

We entered the bar and I went to my favorite corner. The band was playing and we ordered drinks. The lead singer happened to look my way and lo and behold, it was my former postman, Everett. He's the Black dude with the glasses and I had not seen him in a few years. I definitely had no idea he was a singer and performer, and an excellent one at that! During his break, we chatted and he invited me up to sing.

Since I had already been musically influenced by my sidekick and musical director, Johnnie Walker Black, it took me less than a second to accept the invitation. I sang "Georgia In My Mind" and during the song, Everett joined in with harmony and we had a great time. I must say that I thought it turned out very well. The audience seemed to indicate that as well with their applause. Johnnie Walker Black told me that I should think about recording a new CD, but you know how Johnnie is after he's had a few drinks.

All in all, it was a fun evening and I have absolutely no idea of what time I got home. Hell, I was just happy I found the right apartment.....

This Date In History: 1305; Scottish national hero Sir William Wallace is captured near Glasgow by the Scottish knight Sir John de Menteith. Wallace will later be executed in London for treason. 1583; Explorer Sir Humphrey Gilbert founds the first English colony in North America, near Saint John's, Newfoundland.

1925; The Welsh nationalist party Plaid Cymru is formed to disseminate knowledge of the Welsh language, which is in danger of dying out. 1962; Film star Marilyn Monroe is found dead of a barbiturate overdose at her home in Los Angeles, California. 1963; The United States, Soviet Union, and United Kingdom sign the Nuclear Test-Ban Treaty.

Picture Of The Day: Talk about eclectic, my first photo selections for today's pictures were related to the ambling, moseying, gallivanting theme. I normally begin writing my posts one day before publication because, believe it or not, it takes a few hours to put each post together.

Then, of course, my pal Joe called me to go to dinner and that, in and of itself, produced more stories and photographs as well. So if today's post reminds you a little of the writings of Margaret Mitchell (you'll have to think about that one), at least you'll get to see the portions of my sidebar you may not have read......

Birthdays: Mary Beard, American historian and feminist 1876, Naum Gabo, Russian-born sculptor 1890, John Huston, American film director 1906, Neil Armstrong, first man on the Moon 1930.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I've been searching Facebook for my old pal, John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt. I've been unsuccessful so far, but I did get an email from a man who wrote, "That's my name too." 2) My friend had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture. 3) These occasional impromptu excursions to AREA 51 really leave me spent. My doctor told me I should relax and do more reading, but it's so hard to read at the bar. 4) My friend told me he punished his dog for being a little too frisky with his guests. I felt bad for the pup and went outside to his doghouse to console him. When I looked inside I saw an inflatable, blow-up leg. 5) One of the reasons I stopped dating an old flame was over our choices of charity. She liked donating money to the homeless, and I prefer donating money to the topless..... and that's five!

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that our government can track a cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps in the state of Washington? They can also track her calves to their stalls. With all this technology, they are still unable to locate 12 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. I think the solution is to give every illegal alien a cow.

A busload of politicians were driving down a country road, when suddenly the bus ran off the road and crashed into an old farmer's barn. The old farmer got off his tractor and went to investigate. Soon he dug a hole and buried the politicians.

A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus and asked the old farmer where all the politicians had gone. The old farmer told him he had buried them. The sheriff asked the old farmer, "Lordy, were they all dead?" The old farmer said, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them crooked politicians lie."

A Russian, a Cuban, an American and a Lawyer are in a train. The Russian takes a bottle of the Best Vodka out of his pack and pours some into a glass. He drinks it and says, "In USSR, we have the best vodka of the world, nowhere in the world you can find Vodka as good as the one we produce in Ukrainia. And we have so much of it, that we can just throw it away." Saying that, he opens the window and throws the rest of the bottle through it. All the others are quite impressed.

The Cuban takes out a box of fine Havana cigars, takes one of them, lights it and begins to smoke it saying, "In Cuba, we have the best cigars of the world. Nowhere in the world are there so many and so good cigars and we have so much of them, that we can just throw them away." Saying that, he throws the pack of Havanas through the window. One more time, everybody is quite impressed.

The American smiles, stands up, grabs the lawyer by the neck and throws the him through the window.

That's it for today my little pea pickers. Remember a clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. It's Hump Day and I'm going to AREA 51 for happy hour. More on Friday.

Stay Tuned!