Wednesday, August 13, 2014
Lauren Bacall Passes Away At The Age Of 89
Lauren Bacall, the husky-voiced Hollywood icon known for her sultry sensuality, died Tuesday at the age of 89. Her international fame began before the backdrop of World War II in 1944, with her first film, "To Have and Have Not," which she made with future husband Humphrey Bogart.
They married in 1945, had two children and went on to make more films together, including "The Big Sleep" (1946), "Dark Passage" (1947) and "Key Largo" (1948). Bogart died in 1957.
Bacall said of her late husband, "He was an extraordinary, extraordinary man. I mean, I've been extremely lucky. God, I have no complaints at all."
Bacall won two Tony Awards and an honorary Oscar. She was also nominated for three Emmy Awards. Bacall's confident, smoldering expression, the down-turned face and up-turned eyes, earned her the nickname, "The Look".
Lauren Bacall was a fine actress and she will be missed. Rest in peace, Ms. Bacall.....
A Black teenager was shot by a police officer in a St. Louis, Missouri suburb and the circumstances surrounding his death are suspect. Many say the shooting was unjustified. This incident, however, in not a license for Blacks to take advantage of the teenager's death, using it as an excuse to steal and loot.
Deanel Trout, a 14-year resident of Ferguson, said he was convinced that the troublemakers were largely from outside the town of Ferguson and that they had used Brown's death and the vigil as an opportunity to steal.
Trout, 53, said, "Most came here for a peaceful protest but it takes one bad apple to spoil the bunch. I can understand the anger and unrest but I can't understand the violence and looting."
People were seen carrying bags of food and toilet paper. TV footage showed streams of people walking out of a liquor store carrying bottles of alcohol. Actions like this only hurt the Black community and the image of Blacks in general.
The News As I See It: Obama went to the beach yesterday while he’s vacationing on Martha’s Vineyard. It was a little weird when he took out his metal detector to search for $16 trillion in quarters. Obozo also suggested at a fundraiser this week that one or more Supreme Court justices may retire soon. When Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg heard about Obie's remarks, she said, "You can have this gavel when you pry it out of my cold, dead fingers."
Colorado has made nearly $30 million in taxes since January from marijuana sales. That's in addition to the $40 million they made taxing Doritos.
Customers at a Georgia Subway restaurant located inside a Walmart started throwing things at the workers because the store's lettuce looked brown. Because there is no customer with more discriminating taste than one who eats at a Georgia subway in a Walmart.
According to a new study, men over 5'10" are twice as likely to cheat on their partners. And men under 5'10" are twice as likely to cheat on forms where you have to enter your height.
Bruce Jenner was pulled over this week for speeding in L.A. The cops gave Jenner a ticket because his current face doesn't match his driver's license.
Former New York Congressman Anthony Weiner is planning to open a new farm-to-table restaurant in Queens. My advice is whatever you do, don't ask to see the special. It will be the first restaurant with a sign on the door that reads: "No Shoes, No Shirt, No Pants, No Underwear, Ok."
Hillary Clinton has been calling Obama's foreign policy a failure. I figure she's either setting the table to be the next president or a Fox News anchor.
Health officials in Colorado are warning residents to stay away from sick or dead rabbits due to a risk of rabbit fever. That's a tough call because most people's first instincts when they see a dead rabbit is to get as close as possible.
This Date In History: 1521; After a three-month siege, the Aztec capital of Tenochtitlán fell to the Spanish conquistadors, marking the end of one empire and the rise of another. 1906; An all-black army unit was accused of a shooting rampage that left 1 civilian dead at Fort Brown in Brownsville, Texas. In 1972 they were all exonerated.
1942; Disney's Bambi opened at Radio City Music Hall in New York City. 1961; The border between East and West Berlin was closed and marked with a barbed wire fence. 1995; Baseball great Mickey Mantle died of cancer. 2008; U.S. swimmer Michael Phelps won his 11th career gold medal, becoming the first athlete in Olympic history to do so.
Picture Of The Day: Lauren Bacall, husband Humphrey Bogart and Marilyn Monroe (1953).
Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I saw a woman really screaming at her kids in public this morning, but in her defense, the kids were ugly. 2) Someone once told me "If you love something, set it free". I told them not to pay attention to those noises coming from the basement. 3) How dare you call me naive! I'd sue you for slander if I hadn't sent so much money to that Nigerian princess. 4) The Teen Choice Awards is a great reminder of why kids aren't allowed to vote. 5) Ten dollars says some idiot is going hear the word "Ebola" and think "that'd be a great name for my new baby!" Welcome to the world, Ebola Lee Johnson.....and that's five !
Today's Horoscope: Leo - August 13th: (Your horoscope for today has been checked for problems, but we found none. Our engineers are working on it.) The latin phrase for what you're feeling right now is: "Non semper inquisit damascus aroooooof". Ok, there's a little bit of dog language mixed in, as well. Nice and butch is how you like it, but you might want to play it down in certain circumstances, especially around women who slow dance together.
Birthdays: Anders Jöns Ångström, physicist 1814, Lucy Stone, reformer 1818, Annie Oakley, sharpshooter 1860, Alfred Hitchcock, filmmaker 1899, Ben Hogan, professional golfer 1912, Fidel Castro, Cuban revolutionary, premier of Cuba (1959–76) 1926, Don Ho, entertainer 1930, Midori Ito, figure skater 1969.
The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: A man goes into Border's bookstore and asks the young lady assistant, "Do you have the new book out for men with short penises? She replies, "I'm not sure if it's in yet." The man says, "Yeah that's the one, I'll take a copy please."
An American woman of 40 wants to get married, but she is only willing to marry a man if he has never been with a woman. After several unsuccessful years of searching, she decides to take out a personal ad. She ends up corresponding with a man who has lived his entire life in the Australian outback.
They meet, date fro three months and get married. On their wedding night, she goes into the bathroom to prepare for the festivities. When she returns to the bedroom, she finds her new husband standing in the middle of the room, naked and all the furniture from the room piled in one corner.
She asks, "What happened?" He says, "I've never been with a woman before, but if it's anything like a kangaroo, I'm gonna need all the room I can get!"
The Hits Just Keep On Coming: My thanks to my pal Wally for his contribution to today's stories.
A frustrated wife buys a pair of crotchless panties in an attempt to spice up her dead sex-life. She puts them on, together with a short skirt and sits on the sofa opposite her husband.
At strategic moments she uncrosses her legs...enough times till her husband says, "Are you wearing crotchless panties?" With a seductive smile, the woman purred, "Yes."
Her husband says, "Thank God, for a moment, I thought the stuffing was coming out of the sofa."
A little boy that lived in the country. They had to use an outhouse and the little boy hated it because it was hot in the summer and cold in the winter. The outhouse was sitting on the bank of a creek and the boy determined that one day he would push that outhouse into the creek.
One day after a spring rain, the creek was swollen so the little boy decided today was the day to push the outhouse into the creek. Finally, the outhouse toppled into the creek and floated away.
That night his dad told him they were going to the woodshed after supper. Knowing that meant a spanking, the little boy asked why. The dad replied, "Someone pushed the outhouse into the creek today. It was you, wasn't it son?" The boy answered yes.
Then he thought a moment and said, "Dad, I read in school today that George Washington chopped down a cherry tree and didn't get into trouble because he told the truth." The dad replied, "Well, son, George Washington's father wasn't in the cherry tree."
On Saturday night, a man gradually woke up stiff as a plank in the hospital ICU, tubes up his nose and down his throat, wires monitoring every function, a hell of a pain over his left ear and a gorgeous nurse hovering over him.
It was obvious he'd been in a serious accident. She looked at him deep and steady and he heard her slowly say, "You may not feel anything from the waist down." He managed to mumble, "Can I feel your tits, then?"
That's it for today, my little tootsie rolls. Remember, always sing like no one is listening and dance like you need to be shot with a tranquilizer dart. Chance are pretty good that you'll find me in AREA 51 around happy hour.
More on Friday.
Stay Tuned !