Friday, March 25, 2016
Warning: Politically Minded Morons Walk Among Us
I'm becoming weary of daily politics, especially the rhetoric from the politically uneducated, both left and right. My current peeve is with people who are unable to correctly pronounce the names of groups they associate with various candidates.
For the supposedly intelligent, George Soros liberals, who feel they are politically educated, do yourselves a favor so that you don't sound like complete assholes. The hate group that you go out of your way to associate with Donald Trump is called the "Ku Klux Klan", not the "Klu Klux Klan."
I understand that many people may not know the exact names of every political group and that politics, history and even geography are not among their priorities, especially the younger crowd. These people are usually of college age, who rant about bigotry, racism and violence while wearing Che Guevara t-shirts. The irony amuses me.
But when reporters and other media types speak with supposed authority and do not even know the actual name of a group is, their intellect becomes suspect. It is the equivalent of the many young media people who use the word "So" to begin every thought. In order to focus on this grammatical ignorance, the older crowd may remember Maynard G. Krebbs beginning every sentence with "Like".
That is all. For those of you who do not know who Maynard G. Krebbs is, ask your parents. For those of you who regularly read my journal, this has been a semi-rant. For those of you who are liberal and/or do not normally read my journal, you can now resume your regularly scheduled liberal spoon feeding.....
The News As I See It: While in Cuba, Obama and Cuban President Raúl Castro watched a baseball game between the Tampa Bay Rays and the Cuban national baseball team. The Rays won and the Cuban team was sent to prison.
In Florida, an Anheuser-Busch truck collided with a Frito-Lay truck, spilling beer and chips all over the highway. We Floridians call that an "Easter miracle."
This Date In History: 1634; Maryland was founded by settlers sent by the late Lord Baltimore. 1894; Jacob Sechler Coxey and his "army" of unemployed men began their march from Ohio to Washington, DC. 1911; A fire at the Triangle Shirtwaist Co. in New York City killed 145 workers.
1931; The Scottsboro boys were arrested in Alabama. 1934; Horton Smith won the first Masters golf tournament at Augusta National in Georgia. 1957; The European Economic Community was established by the Treaty of Rome.
1965; The 25,000-person Alabama Freedom March to protest the denial of voting rights to blacks, led by Martin Luther King Jr., ended its journey from Selma on the steps of the State Capitol in Montgomery, Alabama. 1975; King Faisal of Saudi Arabia was shot and killed by his nephew. 1994; U.S. troops withdrew from Somalia.
Picture Of The Day: Happy Easter
Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I told my girlfriend that she needed to spend less time with her dog. She hasn't bitten the mailman yet but she's starting to circle three times before sitting down. 2) I saw a bumper sticker that said either "support your local beaver" or "support your local brewer". Either way. it's sound advice. 3) When drinking, I suggest that you don't raise your arms and run through the police crime scene tape like you're finishing a marathon. 4) Marriage controversy notwithstanding, no state should legally recognize a marriage if they don't serve alcohol at the wedding. 5) I'm actually kind of handsome when you're drunk, the light is low, there's no other dudes around and you have low standards.....and that's five !
Today's Horoscope: Aries - March 25th: That tingly little feeling you get when you like someone is actually your common sense leaving your body. Make tomorrow more fun. Unplug the copier at work and put a sign on it that says, "now voice activated." Then, sit back and watch the magic unfold.
Birthdays: Arturo Toscanini, conductor 1867, Bela Bartok, composer 1881, Howard Cosell, sports commentator 1920, Simone Signoret, actress 1921, Flannery O'Connor, author 1925, Gloria Steinem, feminist 1934, Aretha Franklin, singer 1942, Elton John, musician, singer, songwriter 1947, Sarah Jessica Parker, actress 1965.
The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: Two businessmen in Florida were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store. As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up. One said to the other, "I bet any minute now some senior citizen is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we're selling."
No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious senior citizen walked to the window, had a peek, and in a soft voice asked "What are you sellin' here?" One of the men replied sarcastically, "We're selling assholes."
Without skipping a beat, the old timer said, "You're doing well. Only two left."
Murray goes to see the Rabbi and says, "Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it." The Rabbi asks, "What's wrong?" Murray replies, "My wife is poisoning me."
The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?" Murray then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me, what should I do?" The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know."
A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, "Well, I spoke to your wife. I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?" Murray says, "Yes!" The Rabbi says, "Take the poison."
The Hits Just Keep On Coming: One day, a teacher, a garbage collector and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question.
St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, "What was the name of the ship that crashed into an iceberg? They just made a movie about it." The teacher answered quickly, "That would be the Titanic." St. Peter let him through the gate.
St. Peter turned to the garbage man and decided to make the question a little harder, "How many people died on the ship?" Fortunately for him, the trash man had just seen the movie and answered, "About 1,500." "That's right! You may enter."
St. Peter then turned to the lawyer and said, "Name them."
Little Zachary was doing poorly in math. His parents, after exhausting all other incentives, finally decided to enroll him in the local Catholic School.
After the first day, Little Zach came home with a very serious look on his face. He went straight to his room and started studying. This continued for some time. His mother was baffled as to why he had become so dedicated.
Finally, Little Zach brought home his report card. He quietly laid it on the table and went to his room to study. With great trepidation, his mother looked at it and, to her surprise, Little Zachary go an "A" in math.
She asked, "Son, what was it? Was it the nuns, the books, the discipline, the uniforms?" Little Zachary said, "No!" She asked, "What was it?"
Little Zachary looked at her and said, "Well, on the first day of school, when I saw that guy nailed to the Plus Sign, I knew they weren't fooling around."
That's it for today, my little catfish. Remember, in Canada, they don't count one-Mississippi, two-Mississippi..... They count one-Saskatchewan, two-Saskatchewan..... I'm heading over to AREA 51 for happy hour.
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Have a super weekend and more on Monday.
Stay Tuned !