Bill Clinton Joins In On Criticizing Obama’s Internet Plans

Former President Bill Clinton is among those who are skeptical of the new Obama administration plan to give up Internet oversight authority. Clinton talked in some detail about why the U.S. should retain oversight over Internet domain names and addresses during a panel at a weekend meeting sponsored by the Clinton Global Initiative.

Noting that the Edward Snowden revelations of National Security Agency data collections has given “new energy” to the belief internationally that the U.S. should not even be in "nominal control of domain names," Clinton argued that the U.S. has still done a pretty good job of keeping the Internet open and free. (Authors Note: Aside from the obvious fact that the United States built and paid for the Internet).

Clinton said, " A lot of people have been trying to take this authority from the U.S. for the sole purpose of cracking down on Internet freedom and limiting it and having governments protect their backsides instead of empowering their people."

Opponents of the Obama administration’s plan, mostly Republicans, so far, are likely to cheer the former president’s remarks, since they too have some concerns about giving up what little control the U.S. has over the Internet. Clinton’s remarks may make it that much harder for the Obama administration to say their plan has widespread support.

The News As I See It: In March Madness, there have been several major upsets. Yesterday No. 12 seed Harvard beat No. 5 seed Cincinnati. Harvard students haven't been this excited since the last time they told someone they go to Harvard. They had a good game plan. When they committed a foul, their dad called the ref and got them out of it.

Google announced last night that it will launch a new security feature to make it harder for situations like the NSA spying program to happen in the future. Then they went back to driving around and taking pictures of the street you live on.

Next on CNN: 600 more hours of guessing what happened to the plane.

Lawmakers in New York are considering a plan to bring slot machines to LaGuardia Airport. Of course there's always that other way to gamble at LaGuardia – checking a bag.

This Date In History: 1603; Queen Elizabeth I died at age 69 after ruling England for more than 40 years. 1872; the Arabs invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine. 1873; the British somewhat refined the Arab idea by taking the intestine out of the goat first.

1882; Robert Koch announced the discovery of the tuberculosis bacillus. 1949; Laurence Olivier's Hamlet became the first British film to win an Oscar. 1958; Rock 'n' roll star Elvis Presley joined the U.S. army for two years.

1989; In one of worst oil spills in recent history, the tanker, Exxon Valdez, ran aground and released 240,000 barrels of oil into Prince William Sound. 1999; NATO begins launching air strikes in an attempt to force Serbia to cease hostilities against ethnic Albanians in Kosovo.

2002; Halle Berry became the first African-American actress to win a best actress Oscar and Denzel Washington became the second African-American actor to get the best actor award.

2004; The notorious Bird family's more than half-century stronghold on the nation of Antigua and Barbuda came to an end when Baldwin Spencer won the post of prime minister in the general election.

Picture Of The Day: The rare Florida Panther and cub in the wild. An endangered species, I have only seen one pair in the wild. Needless to say, I did not hang around for a long look......

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) A recent study found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it. 2) Media, stop using the phrase "Breaking News". It's been broken for some time now. 3) I just spent ten minutes waving back to a girl in a storefront window before I realized she was just cleaning the glass. 4) I said to my girlfriend's identical twin sister, "I know what you look like naked." 5) The worst time to need sneeze is when you’re driving. The worst time to need to pee it when you’re driving and need to sneeze.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Aries - March 24th: The loony-left is a phrase that you quite like. Something will stir your memory today and it may take a few hours for you to resolve your sense of deja vu. Why not test yourself by not eating pizza or drinking beer. Personally, I don't care. I'm having a slice of pizza and an ice cold beer. 

Birthdays: Georgius Agricola, father of mineralogy 1494, John Wesley Powell, geologist and ethnologist 1834, William Morris, designer 1834, Edward Weston, photographer 1886, Harry Houdini, American magician and writer 1874, Thomas Dewey, politician 1902, Steve McQueen, actor 1930, Peyton Manning, football player 1976.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: Two black guys are talking and one says, "I miss Bill Clinton! He was the closest thing we ever got to having a black man as president before Obama. His friend asks, "You like him more than Obama?" 

The first man said, "Oh, hell yeah!  He's smarter, plays the sax, smokes weed and his way with ugly white women. Even now, look at him. His wife works, he doesn't and, he gets a check from the government every month."
 

Two men are approaching each other on a pavement in Georgia. Both are dragging their right foot as they walk.

As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly, points at his foot and says, "Vietnam, 1969."

The other man nods, hooks his thumb behind him and says, "Dog shit, 20 feet back."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: An elderly couple was having dinner one evening when the husband reached across the table, took his wife's hand in his and said, "Martha, soon we will be married fifty years and there's something I have to know. In all of these fifty years, have you ever been unfaithful to me?"

Martha replied, "Well Henry, I have to be honest with you. Yes, I've been unfaithful to you three times during these fifty years, but always for a good reason." Henry asked, "Can you tell me what you mean by 'good reason'?"

Martha said, "The first time was shortly after we were married and we were about to lose our little house because we couldn't pay the mortgage. Do you remember that one evening I went to see the banker and the next day he notified you that the loan would be extended?"

Henry recalled the visit to the banker and said, "I can forgive you for that. You saved our home. But, what about the second time?"

Martha said, "And do you remember when you were so sick, but we didn't ave the money to pay for the heart surgery you needed? Well, I went to see your doctor one night and, if you recall, he did the surgery at no charge." Henry said, "I recall that and you did it to save my life so, of course, I can forgive you for that. Now, tell me about the third time."

Martha said, "Alright. Do you remember when you ran for president of your golf club and you needed 73 more votes?"

If you don't understand, ask a senior citizen
 

A priest and a rabbi were sitting next to each other on an airplane. After a while, the priest turned to the rabbi and asked, '"Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?" The rabbi responded, "Yes, that is still one of our laws."

The priest then asked, "Have you ever eaten pork?" To which the rabbi replied, "Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and tasted a ham sandwich." The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading.

 A while later, the rabbi spoke up and asked the priest, "Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?" The priest replied, "Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith."

The rabbi then asked him, "Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?" The priest replied, "Yes, rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke my Faith."

The rabbi nodded understandingly and remained silent, thinking, for about five minutes. Finally, the rabbi said, 'Beats the shit out of a ham sandwich, doesn't it?

That's it for today, my little meadow larks. Remember, if pulled over, immediately ask the police officer if he's been drinking. This establishes dominance.

More on Wednesday.

Stay Tuned !

Happy Hour And Deviled Eggs?

I like happy hour and I like eating deviled eggs. What I need to remember is that you should not try to make deviled eggs after going to happy hour. This observation comes after returning home from happy hour and suddenly craving deviled eggs.

First and foremost, I really don't know how to make deviled eggs. I figured since I've eaten enough of them, I should be able to recreate the taste. That was my first error.

I ran into an old friend and was invited to happy hour for a drink. After an hour or so of great conversation and drinks, I came home to finish today's post. As I opened the front door, the thought of deviled eggs entered into my feeble little mind. I figured this should only take 30 minutes or so and I set to the task.

I put the eggs into the pan to boil and then searched the Internet for the recipe. I knew that I needed the hard boiled eggs, mayo and some mustard but I didn't know the other part of the recipe that gives the eggs that distinct flavor.

While searching unsuccessfully for a suitable recipe, I heard the pot rattling from the boiling water. After taking the boiled eggs out and immersing them in cold water, I began mixing mustard and mayo and then put in the egg yokes. I succeeded only in making an egg salad filling, which I spooned into the boiled egg whites.

The bottom line? I ended up eating a very unique version of egg salad accompanied by Johnny Walker Black on the rocks and a very late posting of Jimmy's Journal.

The News As I See It: It now appears that as many as a dozen members of the Secret Service were involved in that Colombian prostitution scandal. Now six of the agents have been reassigned. The other six are now party planners for the GSA.

Political analysts say that Obama doesn't want to be too critical of the Secret Service because their agents protect him every day....which explains why Obama said it was fiscally responsible to refuse to pay the prostitute.

A New Mexico company has petitioned the federal government to become the first U.S. business to offer horse meat for human consumption. You can get horse meat on the menu in some restaurants now. So if you're in Albuquerque, avoid the Philly Cheese Steak.

Mitt Romney has launched a new drive to appeal to Hispanic voters. Unfortunately, his new slogan is "Mitt Romney — I probably employ one of your cousins."

The NFL draft is going to be this Thursday. That's a huge night for college players. That's the night they start being paid over the table.

Obama is proposing to keep student loans cheap as a way to appeal for college students votes. If that doesn't work, Obama's going to resort to his 2008 campaign slogan, "Free Ice Cream and Pizza in my dorm room."

Congress is expanding its probe into the Secret Service scandal. Congressmen want to know how this could happen, who was responsible and if those Colombian hookers take Discover cards.

This Date In History: 1901; New York became the first state to require license plates on cars. 1915; British, Australian, and New Zealand forces landed at Gallipoli. 1928; The first seeing eye dog was presented to Morris S. Frank.

1945; Delegates met in San Francisco to organize the United Nations. 1953; The Francis Crick and James Watson article describing the double helix of DNA is published in the magazine Nature.

1959; The St. Lawrence Seaway opened to shipping. 1990; Violeta Barrios de Chamorro was inaugurated as president of Nicaragua. 1992; Islamic forces took over most of Kabul, Afghanistan after the Soviet-controlled government collapsed.

2003; The Georgia legislature voted to scrap the "Confederate flag" design from its state flag.

Picture Of The Day: That about says it all. Bill Maher is a hack comedian and an embarrassment to his parents.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) When I was a kid, my dad quit taking me to the dump with him because we always came back with more than we took. 2) Fast food is not hitting a deer at 65 mph. 3) My grandmother was a tough old gal. At Christmas time she always had "Ammo" on her Christmas list. 4) My grandfather was hard of hearing and needed to read lips. I didn’t mind him reading lips, but he used one of those yellow highlighters. 5) It's lonely at the top, but you eat a lot better.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Taurus - April 25th: This day was made for you! Well, you and about 1 billion others but the thought is good. Watch out for midgets selling growth products, Your chance of romance is 51.27 percent with a slight chance of showers.

Birthdays: My pal LIsa - Happy Birthday Baby! 19XX, Oliver Cromwell statesman 1599, Guglielmo Marconi physicist 1874, Wolfgang Pauli physicist 1900, Edward R. Murrow journalist 1908, Ella Fitzgerald, American jazz singer 1917, Al Pacino actor 1940, Renee Zellweger actress 1969.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy looking like he'd just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken and he is walking with a limp. Sean the bartender asks, "What happened to you?' Paddy says, "Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight."

Sean says, "That little shit, O'Conner? He can't fight. He must of had something in his hand." Paddy says, "That he did. A shovel is what he had, and a terrible licking he gave me with it." Sean says, "Well, you should have defended yourself. Didn't you have anything in your hand?" Paddy replied, ''That I did. It was Mrs. O'Conner's breast and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight."

A man walks into a bar and orders a 12-year-old scotch. The bartender, believing that the customer will not be able to tell the difference, pours him a shot of the cheap 3-year-old house scotch that has been poured into an empty bottle of the good stuff.

The man takes a sip and spits the scotch out on the bar and says to the bartender, "This is the cheapest 3-year-old scotch you can buy. I'm not paying for it. Now, give me a good 12-year-old scotch."

The bartender, now feeling a bit of a challenge, pours him a scotch of much better quality, 6-year-old scotch. The man takes a sip, spits it out on the bar and says, "This is only 6-year-old scotch. I won't pay for this, and I insist on a good, 12-year-old scotch. The bartender finally relents and serves the man his best quality, 12-year-old scotch. The man sips the drink and says, "Now that's more like it."

An old drunk from the end of the bar, who has witnessed the entire episode, walks down to the finicky scotch drinker and sets a glass down in front of him and asks, "What do you think of this?" The scotch expert takes a sip, and in disgust, violently spits out the liquid yelling "This takes like piss!" The old drunk replies, "It is! Now guess how old I am."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

At a convention of biological scientists, one researcher remarks to another, "Did you know that in our lab we have switched from mice to lawyers for our experiments?" The other replied, "Really? Why did you switch?"

The first researcher said, "Well, for five reasons. First, we found that lawyers are far more plentiful. Second, the lab assistants don't get so attached to them. Third, lawyers multiply faster in numbers, Fourth, animal rights groups will not object to their torture. And fifth, there are some things even a rat won't do.

A man was sitting at a bar when he noticed a pirate walk in the front door. The pirate had a peg leg, a hook for one hand and a patch over one eye. Feeling sorry for the pirate, the man said, "Come over here friend. You look like you've had a hard life and I'd like to buy you a drink."

The pirate came over and ordered rum. The man said, "Just out of curiosity, how did you lose your leg?" The pirate said, "Arrrgh! I lost that timber to a tiger shark in the Caribbean when I was thrown overboard for stealing a man's rum."

The man said, "That's just terrible. How did you lose your hand?" The pirate, "I lost that fighting cannibals off Madagascar under Admiral Hawk."

The man said, "Wow, I can't even imagine! How did you lose your eye?" The pirate said, "A seagull shit in it!" The man said, "A seagull? Is seagull shit dangerous?!" The pirate replied,  "Nay, Matey, it was me first day with the hook....."

That's it for today, my little rum runners. Remember, recent studies indicate that Americans walk about 900 miles a year. Americans drink an average of 22 gallons of beer a year. That means, on average, we get about 41 miles per gallon. I'm going to AREA 51 for happy hour. More on Friday.

Stay Tuned !