1. You send me the same e-mail twice.
2. You send me blank e-mail.
3. You send e-mails meant for other people.
4. You send e-mail back to me after I've sent it to you.
5. You forget to attach attachments.
6. You hit "SEND" before you've finished the e-mail.
Memory is a funny thing and my memory isn't quite what it used to be. In a brief moment of clarity, I've come up with a list of some of my current thoughts on life.
1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.
3. I finally got my head together; now my body is falling apart.
4. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...
5. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...
6. All reports are in; life is now officially unfair.
7. If all is not lost, where is it?
8. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
9. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...
1. Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant.
2. I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few...
3. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
4. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
6. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...
5. It's hard to make a come back when you haven't been anywhere.
6. The world beats a path to your door when you're in the bathroom.
7. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.
8. When I'm holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?
8. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...
9. It's not hard to meet expenses... they're everywhere.
2. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
2. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter. I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm here after.
I've spoken to a lot of my lady friends and they seem to agree with sister Jeanne's opinion of my memory, especially when it comes to showing up on time. See for yourself.
Possum S. Hemmingway has created a feature called Pets Of The Week which will feature pictures of your pets and other journalist's pets as well and will be posted on Fridays. If you have any pet pictures, be they spur of the moment , posed, funny or just plain cute, please email them to me at email@example.com and I'll make sure he gets them. For more information, read Shithead's post (What did you think the "S" was for). Possum's Journal: http://pshemmingway.blogspot.com/
This Date In History: 814; Charlemagne, King of the Franks 768–814 and Holy Roman Emperor 800–814, who united much of western Europe under his rule, dies in Aachen. 1813; Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen is published for the first time.
1866; Scottish explorer David Livingstone embarks on his final expedition in Africa to establish the true source of the Nile. All outside contact with him is lost after he reaches Lake Tanganyika. 1986; The space shuttle Challenger explodes 73 seconds after lift-off at Kennedy Space Center in Florida.Picture Of The Day: Ok, maybe my memory is not as good as it used to be but my eyes and health make up for it. I still go out and have fun and I remember everything. I also still go out and have fun and I remember everything.
Birthdays: Henry VII (1457-1509), first Tudor King of England (1485-1509) 1457, Anna Ivanovna, Russian empress 1693, Charles George Gordon, British general and colonial administrator 1833, Henry Stanley, Welsh-born US newspaper correspondent and explorer 1841, Jackson Pollock, American artist 1912.
The Hits Just Keep On Coming A bear walks into a bar an says to the bartender, "I would like a bourbon and...... a coke." The bar tender says "What's up with the big pause?" The bear said "I've had them all my life."
A preacher goes into a bar and says "Anybody who wants to go to heaven, stand up." Everybody stands up except for a drunk in the corner. The preacher says "My son, don't you want to go to heaven when you die?" The drunk says "When I die? Sure. I thought you were taking a load up now."
A blonde and a guy are in a bar are watching the TV. There is a news report about a man who threatens to jump off a 5 story building unless the cops give him 3000 dollars. The guy at the bar says to the blonde, "I bet you 50 bucks the guy jumps". The blonde takes the bet, and the guy on the TV ends up jumping. The blonde hands over the $50, but the guy gives it back, saying that he had already seen the guy jump on the earlier showing. The blonde says "Well I saw it too but I didn't think he would jump again."
That's it for today my little poppy seeds. More On Friday.
Stay Tuned !