Friday, August 26, 2011

Memories Of Hurricane Andrew 1992

As Hurricane Irene begins her assault on the East Coast, my thoughts drift back to 1992, when Hurricane Andrew, a Category-Five behemoth, devastated Homestead, Florida City and parts of Miami. Andrew had sustained winds of 145 mph with gusts up to 175 mph. The worst damage from Andrew occurred not from straight-line winds, but from vortices (embedded tornadoes).

In Miami Lakes (Northwestern Miami-Dade County), the damage was bad. Without electricity (and stupidly, no radio), the only way to find out about other parts of the county was to drive in my car and listen to the car radio. When electricity was restored three or four days later, the pictures of Andrew's path completely devastated me.

Andrew continued northwest across the Gulf of Mexico to strike the Louisiana coastline. With a central pressure of 922 mb, Andrew was the third most intense U.S. land-falling hurricane this century.

While it doesn't appear that Hurricane Irene will be the monstrosity that Andrew was, the excessive rains and flooding will wreak havoc along the coast. My prayers go out to all the people in harm's way.

The News As I See It:

Hurricane Irene is bearing down on the entire East Coast. Wow, earthquake, now hurricane. What's the next disaster, Congress and Obama returning from vacation to continue governing the country?

The recent earthquake registered 5.8 on the Richter scale. Hell, Dick Cheney and Larry King have had heart attacks bigger than that.

President Obama continues to enjoy the fun and sun in Martha’s Vineyard. It’s really sad when your SPF factor is higher than your approval rating.

This Date In History: 1847; Liberia was proclaimed an independent republic. 1920; The 19th Amendment giving women the right to vote went into effect. 1939; The first televised major league baseball game was televised: a double-header between the Brooklyn Dodgers and the Cincinnati Reds.

1974; Aviator Charles Lindbergh, the first man to fly solo, nonstop across the Atlantic, died. 1978; John Paul I became Pope of the Roman Catholic Church. He died one month later.

Picture Of The Day: Hurricane Andrew and the devastation the he caused. Probably the worst hurricane I've ever been through in 50 years.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it. 2) Impotence is nature's way of saying "No hard feelings". 3) I once saw six men beating up my ex-mother-in-law. My neighbor said, "Are you going to help?" I said, "No, six should be enough." 4) Why is it that everyone is talking and no one is listening to you.....until you fart? 5) The difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer is in the taste.....and that's five !

Today's Birthday Horoscope: Virgo - August 26th: You may find yourself hankering for expresso today and the thought will occur to you, "exactly was is hankering?" Don't fret. To hanker is to, not the currency! To hanker is to yearn.....ah, forget it! Just wipe that smile off your face and go get your damned expresso!

Birthdays: Robert Walpole, English statesman 1676, Antoine Laurent Lavoisier, chemist 1743, Peggy Guggenheim, art patron and collector 1898, Albert Sabin, physician and microbiologist 1906, Mother Teresa, Roman Catholic missionary 1910, Julio Cortázar, writer 1914, Macaulay Culkin, actor 1980.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied. "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."

Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that two people nearly 100 years old having sex would be asking for trouble. "Oh, no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong."

She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "and if the damned ice cream truck hadn't come along, he'd still be alive today."

A guy was invited to an old friends' home for dinner. His buddy preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. The guy was impressed since he knew the couple had been married almost 50 years.

While the wife was off in the kitchen he said to his buddy, "I think it's wonderful that after all the years you've been married, you still call your wife those pet names." His buddy said, "To tell you the truth, I forgot her name about ten years ago."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

An Oklahoma family of football supporters head out one Saturday to the outlet mall to do their tax-free back to school shopping. While in the sports shop the son picks up an Texas jersey and says to his older sister, "I've decided to become a Texas fan and I would like to wear this to school." His big sister is outraged by this and promptly whacks him round the head and says, "Go talk to mother."

Off goes the little lad with the Texas jersey in hand. He finds his mother and asks. "Mom?" His Mom says, "Yes son?" The little boy says, "I've decided I'm going to be an Texas fan and I would like to buy this jersey." The mother is outraged at this, promptly whacks him around the head and says, "Go talk to your father!"

Off he goes with the Texas Jersey in hand. He finds his father and says, "Dad?" His father answers, "Yes son?" The boy says, "I've decided I'm going to be an Texas fan and I would like to buy this jersey." The father is outraged and promptly whacks his son around the head and says, "No son of mine is ever going to be seen in that crap!"

About half an hour later they're all back in the car and heading towards home. The father turns to his son and says, "Son, I hope you've learned something today?" The son says, "Yes, Dad, I have." The father says, "Good, son, what is it?" To which the son replies, "I've only been a Texas fan for an hour and I already hate you Oklahoma bastards."

A Texas cowboy and his bride ask the hotel desk clerk for a room, telling him they just got married that morning. The clerk says, "Congratulations!" Looking at the cowboy, he asks, "Would you like the bridal then?" The cowboy says, "Naw, thanks, I reckon I'll just hold her by the ears 'til she gets the hang of it."

On a hot, dusty day, a cowboy rode into a small frontier town. After dismounting, he walked behind his horse, lifted it's tail and kissed it where the sun don't shine. An old man rocking by the general store witnessed the whole thing and asked, "Whudd'ya do that fer?" The cowboy said, "Got chapped lips." The old man asked, "Does that help?" The cowboy said, "Nope, but it keeps me from lickin' 'em."

That's it for today my little munchkins. Remember, alcohol doesn't solve any problems...but then again, neither does milk. It's Friday and AREA 51 beckons. Have a great weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !


jack69 said...

What a devastating hurrican Andrew was. I remember going thru Homestead that winter on the way to Key West and it was GONE!
Also had no idea that TV was around for a ball game in 1939. I did not see a TV until 1951. The Firemen at the Fire house had one and let us boys watch Howdy Doody.
Good entry.

Paula said...

My prayers for all the people in harms way. Lots of good funnies here today, thanks for the laugh.