Monday, August 26, 2013
Adopt A Shelter Dog Or Cat
I've been fortunate to have many pets in my time, mostly cats and dogs. Additionally, there were the usual assortment of critters, most of whom were disliked by my mother, with the exception of birds and turtles. But, today I celebrate the dogs in my life.
The first dog in my life was a female my Mom named Gippy, who cared and watched over me since I was born. Obviously I don't remember much about her other than pictures, but my Mother told me many stories about those who made the mistake of coming too close to me.
My first dog was a pure white male Chow-Spitz mix whose tail curled like a question mark as most chows breeds do. I was 12 and we named him Frosty. Frosty was a blast but he and the neighbor dog King got in a lot of trouble. Back in those days, most dogs ran free unless they were mean.
I guess the main dog in my life was Beanie, meant as a replacement for we broken-hearted children when Frosty died a relatively early death from cancer. Beanie was with my brother, sister and I until we grew up. A good pal and companion, he was a good hearted dog and everyone loved him.
Last, but not least was little Didi, chihuahua type dog which my parents got for themselves as we children slowly but surely left or were nudged from the nest. Little Didi was a barker but Mom and Dad loved her and that's all that mattered.
I hope today helps people to remember the large number of cats and dogs in shelters, who, without your help, face an unenviable end. All of my animals were either from shelters or strays and every one of them were good companions. Adopt a shelter pet.....
The News As I See It: Miley Cyrus is quickly moving to the level of Lady GaGa and the Kardashian sisters with her gross, uncoordinated, standing lap dance on the VMA Awards last night. Then again, it's the VMA Awards......
The IRS admitted they were targeting conservative groups. Obama called it outrageous and said he would immediately have his Benghazi investigators look into it.I'm not saying this Congress is bad at its job.
Presidential and Congressional approval is at an all time low. I'm just saying that Obama and Congress are bad, I'm saying that they're equivalent to a skunk with its head in a jar of Skippy peanut butter.
This Date In History: 1847; Liberia was proclaimed an independent republic. 1920; The 19th Amendment giving women
the right to vote went into effect.
1939; The first televised major league baseball game was televised: a double-header between the Brooklyn Dodgers and the Cincinnati Reds.
1974; Aviator Charles Lindbergh, the first man to fly solo, nonstop across the Atlantic, died. 1978; John Paul I became Pope of the Roman Catholic Church. He died one month later.
Picture Of The Day: As my pal Nancy used to describe them, today's pictures are a bit "eclectic", but that's just me.....
Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) Adulthood is like the vet and we're like the dogs that are excited for the car ride until we realize where we're going. 2) I'm a fan of the tube top, but even a tire has a pressure limit. 3) I feel sorry for all the responsible bulls out there minding their own business and just looking to buy some nice china. 4) I was told that if I went to visit at the hospital I should take flowers. So, when the nurse wasn't looking, I did. 5) If you're buying your pregnancy test at the dollar store it's probably because he bought is his condoms there too.....and that's five !
Today's Horoscope: Virgo - August 26th: Don't lose hope! Conditions like yours are embarrassing, but often clear up on their own. Chin up and forward, the day will brighten, but bring an umbrella, just in case.
Birthdays: Antoine Laurent Lavoisier, chemist 1743, Peggy Guggenheim, art patron and collector 1898, Albert Sabin, physician and microbiologist 1906, Mother Teresa, Roman Catholic missionary 1910, Julio Cortázar, writer 1914, Macaulay Culkin, actor 1980.
The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: A group of bikers were riding west when they saw a girl about to jump off a bridge, so they stopped. George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says, "Hey Baby, whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?" She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit suicide!!"
While he didn't want to appear "sensitive", George also didn't want to miss this "be-a-legend" opportunity either so he asked, "Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe, why don't you give ole George here your best last kiss?"
So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one. After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers and even the State Trooper.
George says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had, Honey! That's a real talent you're wasting, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing suicide?" The jumper answered, "My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl." It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.
A man got on a bus with both of his front trouser pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful blonde. The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls."
The blonde continued to look at him for a very long time, thinking deeply about what he had said. After several minutes, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, she asked, "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"
The Hits Just Keep On Coming: My thanks to my pal Mike for his contribution to today's stories.
A father put his 3 year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying, "God bless Mummy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and goodbye Grandpa." The father asked, 'Why did you say goodbye Grandpa?' The little girl said, "I don't know Daddy, it just seemed like the right thing to do." The next day Grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence.
A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers which went like this, "God bless Mummy, God bless Daddy and goodbye Grandma." The next day the grandmother died. The father thought, "This kid is in contact with the other side."
Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the Dad heard her say, "God bless Mummy and goodbye Daddy." He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch and watched the clock.
He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound.
Finally midnight arrived. He breathed a sigh of relief and went home. When he got home his wife said, "I've never seen you work so late. What's the matter?" He said, "I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life." She said, "You think you had a bad day; you'll never believe what happened to me. This morning my golf pro dropped dead in the middle of my lesson!"
An old guy goes to his doctor for his physical and gets sent to the Urologist as a precaution. When he gets there, he discovers the Urologist is a very pretty female doctor.
The doctor says, "I'm going to check your prostate today, but this new procedure is a little different from what you are probably used to. I want you to lie on your right side, bend your knees, then while I check your prostate, take a deep breath and say, 'Ninety-nine'."
The old guy obeys and says,"99." The doctor says, "Great." Now turn over on your left side and again, while I repeat the check, take a deep breath and say, '99'." Again, the old guy says, "99."
The doctor says, "Very good. Now then, I want you to lie on your back with your knees raised slightly. I'm going to check your prostate with this hand and with the other hand I'm going to hold on to your penis to keep it out of the way. Now take a deep breath and say, '99'." The old guy begins, "One ... Two ...Three..."
That's it for today, my little puppy dogs. Remember, silence is golden, but duct tape is silver.
More on Wednesday.
Stay Tuned !