Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Other than an actual ass-whipping, the most feared weapon in my mother's arsenal was "The Look". Most children of the '50s-'60s-'70s and even early '80s were well aware of "The Look" and it's potential. It was sort of like football's two minute warning.
Back then, there were no time outs, no taking of favorite toys or limiting one's social activities. That reasoning had no place in the argument as there were no game boys, computers, cell phones, lap tops, i-Pods or the other electronic crap of today. The family TV was in the living room and with any luck, picked up 6-10 channels.
Of course, that did not matter because there was not a TV in every room and your first punishment usually was to go to your room. Lord help you if you decided to play the record player.
In public, defined by my parents as any place outside the home, we were reminded (you'll pardon the antiquated expression) to mind our "Ps and Qs". As all of us were under age 12, we held hands and the leader of the group would hold on to mother's skirt as she did her shopping. Lord help you if you let go.
As for speaking, it had better be in a "little voice". We were a family of little means and anything remotely resembling screaming, bickering or fighting were grounds for big trouble when we got home. No one ever said, "Buy me this" or "I want that". This would embarrass my mother.
If any of these things occurred (as it occasionally did), we got "The Look", which meant one of two things. Either we would be punished and/or spanked when we got home, or the matter would be turned over to my Father. My preference was taking whatever Mother decide to do be cause if Dad was not in a good mood, you only got a glimpse of "The Look" as the belt hit your ass.
The good side of the story is that we learned right from wrong and we knew when we had gone too far and deserved punishment for breaking the rules. We also learned to say "Please" and "Thank you", "Yes Ma'am and No Ma'am" and the rules necessary to function in life.
I only wish that all the parents that I see who allow their children to scream and run wild in public would have been lucky enough to have been raised by my parents.....
The News As I See It: The state attorney general of New York is suing Donald Trump for $40 million, claiming that Donald Trump University is not a real university. The state claims it's not a real college because students get very little education and were unable to find jobs after they graduated. Sounds like a real college to me. I guess the attorney general got suspicious it wasn't a real college when "the Donald" took the senior class on a field trip to try and find Obama's birth certificate.
The treasury secretary has asked Congress to raise the debt limit for borrowing more money as soon as possible. The secretary of the treasury said if Congress doesn't act soon, the government will have to work with only the money it has now. You know, like the rest of us do.
The owner of a grocery store who named a store after Alex Rodriguez now wants to change his store's public image. He's looking for a new name for the store. Why? Keep the same name. Just turn it into a drugstore.
Former groping San Diego mayor Bob Filner was offered a new job as a TSA agent at the airport. I guess the TSA wanted someone with "hands on" experience.
New York City comptroller candidate Eliot Spitzer says if he wins, he will work for only $1 a year. At that rate, he won't be able to afford another $5,000 an hour hooker until the year 7013.
The NFL is cracking down on what they call excessive celebration, like when a player is found not guilty and does that little dance in the courtroom. That's a 15 yard penalty now.
New York mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner got in a car wreck over the weekend — not to be confused with his campaign - that's a train wreck. Today he tweeted the insurance company the wrong photo.
This Date In History: 1609; Henry Hudson discovered Delaware Bay. 1850 Richard Wagner's opera, Lohengrin, premiered at Weimar, Germany. 1922; The first commercial to be broadcast on radio aired in New York City. The ten minute advertisement for the Queensboro Realty Company cost $100.
1968; Anti-Vietnam war protesters and police clashed in the streets of Chicago while the Democratic National Convention nominated Hubert H. Humphrey for president.
1981; The Centers for Disease Control announced a medical task force had been formed to look into the incidence of Kaposi's sarcoma and pneumocystis in homosexual men. AIDS was later found to be the cause.
Picture Of The Day: Little critters...a closer look.
Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I like to make shopping lists. I also like to leave them laying on the kitchen counter and then guess what's on the list while at the store. It's a fun game. 2) I think Lady Gaga just puts glue on herself and rolls around on random things. 3) My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be. 4) In the mornings, my body is starting to make the same noise as my coffeemaker. 5) Today, I learned that the average male has had 15 sex partners, the average female has had 7 and the average penguin has had one. I also learned that I’m a penguin.....and that's five !
Today's Horoscope: Virgo - August 28th: Most of your body is going to become an erogenous zone later this week and the slightest, even accidental, touch may cause you to wet yourself. Thank goodness for Depends, huh?
Birthdays: My friend Lisa - Happy Birthday girl! 19XX, Saint Elizabeth Ann Seton, religious leader 1774, Charles Boyer, actor 1899, Bruno Bettelheim, psychologist 1903, Roger Tory Peterson, ornithologist 1908, Robertson Davies, writer 1913, Jason Priestley, actor 1969.
The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: When the wise company president learned that his employees were tanking up on no-trace vodka martinis during their lunch hours, he issued the following memo:
To all employees; If you must drink during you lunch hours, please drink whiskey. It is better for our customers to know you're drunk than to think you're stupid.
A truck driver was driving along the freeway saw a sign that read, "Low Bridge" but, before he could stop, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under it. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police officer approaches, puts his hands on his hips, and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver replied, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."
The Hits Just Keep On Coming: Two Louisiana boys were given a special SAT test to meet their admission requirements to the Military Academy. Soon after the test began the first guy turns to the second guy and asks, "Old MacDonald had a what?"
The other replies, "He had a farm." The first asks, "How do you spell it?" To which the second replied, "E-I-E-I-O."
Two alligators are sitting on the edge of a swamp. The small one turns to the big one and says, “I don’t understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We’re the same age, we were the same size as kids. I just don’t get it.”
The big alligator says, "What have you been eating?" The little gator says, "Lawyers, same as you." The big alligator asks, "Well, where do you catch’em?" The little gator answers, "Down at that law firm on the edge of the swamp." The big alligator responds, "Hmmm...Same here. How do you catch’em?"
The little gator says, "Well, I crawl under a BMW and wait for someone to unlock the door. Then I jump out, bite’em, shake the crap out of ‘em, and eat ‘em!" The big alligator says, "Ah, I think I see your problem. See, by the time you get done shakin’ the crap out of a lawyer, there’s nothin’ left but lips and a briefcase."
That's it for today, my little tadpoles. Remember, if you are cornered by coons in the wild, place your thumb and index finger tips together and make a bandit mask. They will accept you. I'm off to AREA 51 T\for happy hour.
More on Friday.
Stay Tuned !