Wednesday, June 4, 2014
Susan Rice: "Bergdahl Served With 'Honor And Distinction'."
BRUSSELS (AP) — U.S. Joint Chiefs Chairman Gen. Martin Dempsey says the Army may still pursue an investigation that could lead to desertion charges against Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl, who was freed from five years of Taliban captivity in a prisoner exchange last weekend.
This comes just two days after Susan Rice once again hit all the Sunday talk shows stating, "Bergdahl served with 'honor and distinction'." I wonder if Obama and his cronies use Susan Rice as their proverbial "Mikey". (A.G. Eric Holder): "Pssst, Barry, give this release to Susan, she'll say anything." (Obama): "I was thinking of using Joe Biden." (Holder): "No, Bro - too close to us."
Great job Susan, you tool. You're now 0-2 on dispersing national security information.
From the "Makes Me Want To Puke" files: Khloe Kardashian, younger sister of Kim and one of the infamous Kardashian whores poses with some douche bag with a machine gun. The Kardashian girls, famous only for making, starring in and leaking raw sex tapes of themselves, continue in their father's (O.J. Simpson attorney Robert Kardashian) tradition of getting Blacks off.
The News As I See It: CNN had its worst 10 p.m. ratings of all time last Friday, with only 35,000 viewers tuning in. I left it on for my cat and when I came back, she was reading a newspaper. CNN got just 35,000 viewers. Even worse, most of those views came from monitors left on in the background on CNN.
Newly leaked documents show the NSA has been collecting millions of pictures of people online for its sophisticated facial recognition program. Americans said it's a huge violation of their privacy — then they went back to posting selfies every 30 minutes.
In a new interview, Obama revealed that his daughter Malia recently went to her first prom. She wore a corsage on her wrist while her date wore a red laser dot on his head.
The L.A. Clippers are being purchased by the former CEO of Microsoft for 2 billion dollars. Apparently he's looking for something to occupy himself while Windows is installing "critical updates."
Pope Francis is telling married couples to have children, because only having pets could lead to anger or bitterness in old age. As opposed to having kids, which leads to anger and bitterness in old age.
Justin Bieber was caught on tape making a racist joke. In Bieber's defense, the video was made when he was young and stupid. Since word of this got out, Bieber has received a ton of criticism and also an Instagram request from Donald Sterling.
This Date In History: 1892; The Sierra Club, led by John Muir, was incorporated in San Francisco. 1896; Henry Ford took his first car out for a test drive. 1942; The Battle of Midway, a decisive Allied victory in World War II, began.
1944; The U.S. Fifth Army entered Rome, leading to the liberation of the city during World War II. 1968; Dorothy Gish, American actress who starred in many silent-film classics, died. 1989; People's Army of China opened fire on crowds of pro democracy demonstrators in Tiananmen Square, killing thousands.
1992; The U.S. Post Office announced that in a poll people preferred the "young Elvis" stamp to the "old Elvis" stamp. 2001; King Dipendra of Nepal died, three days after shooting most of his family and himself. 2003; Martha Stewart was indicted on charges of insider trading.
Picture Of The Day: Evidently, Susan Rice is not intelligent enough to understand that she is being used by Obama as a tool, or worse, she simply doesn't care. Blind allegiance
Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) My girlfriend just ran 45 minutes on the treadmill and burned 732 calories. Or as I like to call it, 4 olives. 2) I hate when I wake up in a strange house and have to go outside to look at a license plate to figure out what state I'm in. 3) My new credit card has this awesome theft protection where it just says "declined" whenever you use it. 4) I fall in love too easily. Wait.. It's ditches, I fall in ditches too easily 5) Why did I post on Facebook at 5:52 am? Because my girlfriend had to get up to pee which apparently requires two lights and a conversation.....and that's five!
Bonus Sixth: Someone asked who sang Johnny B Goode and I said Marty McFly because I'm not an idiot and I know how time travel works.
Today's Horoscope: Gemini - June 4th: This week will be weird. You may be re-welcomed to earth by a strange person. You will have a choice of private parts. Would you like the one that creates life and bleeds or the constant bad decision maker? Think about your answer before responding.
Birthdays: My friend Mike - Happy Birthday Bud! 19XX, François Quesnay economist 1694, George III, king of Great Britain and Ireland (1760–1820); son of Frederick Louis, prince of Wales, and grandson of George II, whom he succeeded 1738, Natalie Goncharova painter and designer 1881, Robert Merrill singer 1919, Bruce Dern actor 1936, Cecilia Bartoli mezzo-soprano 1966, Angelina Jolie actress 1975.
The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker's circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work.
One night as they were driving to yet another dinner, Einstein mentioned to his chauffeur (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks and manner) that he was tired of speech making.
The chauffeur said, "I have an idea, boss. I've heard you give this speech so many times, I'll bet I could give it for you." Einstein laughed loudly and said, "Why not? Let's do it!"
When they arrived at the dinner, Einstein donned the chauffeur's cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The chauffeur gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein's speech and even answered a few questions expertly.
Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about antimatter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody's fool.
Without missing a beat, the chauffeur fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, "Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my chauffeur, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me."
A lady walked into a high class jewellery shop. She browsed around , spotted a beautiful bracelet and walked over to inspect it. As she bent over to look at it more closely she accidentally farted.
Very embarrassed, she looked around nervously to see if anyone had noticed her little accident and prayed that a sales person didn't pop up right now.
As she turned around, her worst nightmare materialized in the form of a salesman standing right behind her.
Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greeted the lady, "Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?"
Uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman might just not have been there at the time of her "little" accident, she asked, "What is price of his lovely bracelet?" The salesman answered, " Madam, if you farted just by looking at it, you're going to shit when I tell you the price."
The Hits Just Keep On Coming: At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 9-year-old baseball players aside and asked, "Do you understand what co-operation is? What a team is?" The little boy replied. "Yes Coach." The coach asked, "Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose together as a team?" The little boy nodded in the affirmative."
The coach continued, "So, I'm sure you know, when an out is called, you shouldn't argue, curse, attack the umpire or call him a pecker-head, dickhead or asshole. Do you understand all that?" Again, the little boy nodded in the affirmative.
The coach continued, "And when I take you out of the game so that another boy gets a chance to play, it's not good sportsmanship to call your coach a dumb ass or shithead is it?" The little boy answered, "No, coach." The coach said, "Good. Now go over there and explain all that to your grandmother!"
In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a woman who was waiting for a bus was wearing a tight leather skirt. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus.
Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. Again, she tried to make the step only to discover she still couldn't. So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more.
For the second time, attempted the step, and, once again, and much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg. With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to make the step.
About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus. She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and screeched, "How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!"
The Texan smiled and drawled, "Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we was friends."
That's it for today, my little rug rats. Remember, hurricanes named after women are more deadly, mainly because when they leave, they take half your stuff. Wednesday is hump day which always reminds me to head for AREA 51 and happy hour.
More on Friday.
Stay Tuned !