Monday, February 22, 2016

Heading To Margaritaville

Today is Margarita Day. I have no idea who comes up with these ideas, but I figure if part of the plan involves the imbibing of spirits, how bad can it be? Although my drink is scotch, I have been known to stray other spirits.

Another of my go-to drinks is vodka. My experiences with both beverages gives me the ability to gauge my senses and know when to slow down.

Tequila and Jack Daniels whisky have that certain "je ne sais quoi" that sometimes leads one into attempting things that are highly improbable. While I will not go into detail as to those "improbable things", it suffices to say that the rare times that I have tried were mostly failures.

The few missions that were successful, however, are the ones fondly remembered and, for that reason, sometimes lead one to make other attempts with modified plans.

Lastly, if you choose to try a margarita or two this evening, my advice is to sip it slowly and, by all means, avoid eating the worm.....

The News As I See It: Over on the Democratic side, Bernie Sanders is getting the support of students at Hillary Clinton's alma mater, Wellesley College. Now Hillary Clinton is trying to get the support of Bernie's alma mater, Jurassic Park.

Pope Francis stated that he did not think that Donald Trump is a true Christian because of Trump's beliefs on immigration. I know you're thinking there goes the Pope's chance of being on the next season of "Celebrity Apprentice."

This Date In History: 1371; Robert II succeeded to the throne of Scotland, beginning the Stuart dynasty. 1819; Spain ceded Florida to the United States. 1879; Frank Winfield Woolworth opened his first "Five Cent Store" in Utica, New York.

1924; Calvin Coolidge made the first presidential radio broadcast from the White House. 1935; Airplanes were no longer permitted to fly over the White House. 1980; In a major upset, the U.S. Olympic hockey team defeated the Soviets 4–3 at Lake Placid, N.Y.

Picture Of The Day: The London Bar, which is set within luxury hotel The London NYC, has debuted its signature drink, the "Billionaire Margarita." According to the hotel, the "Billionaire Margarita" features premium ingredients including Patrón en Lalique Serie 1 and Louis XIII and it comes with a price tag of $1,200.

The London NYC’s director of Food and Beverage, Jayson Goldstein, is the mastermind behind the "Billionaire Margarita." He revealed that the lavish drink will only be offered as the Patrón en Lalique Serie 1 is available. "With only 500 bottles of the spirit produced, once it’s gone – it’s gone."

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I've been trying to figure out why is there is an expiration date on sour cream. 2) You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice. 3) A friend asked what I thought about foreign affairs. I told him, "I don't know, I never had one." 4) I have no tattoos or body piercings, however I do have several scars from bite marks. 5) There is an Internet warning issued by the Department of Homeland Security. If you get an email titled, "Nude photo of Nancy Pelosi," Don't open it! It contains a nude photo of Nancy Pelosi.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Pisces - February 22nd: You are in for a surprise visit this week and this time they won't have a subpoena. Tidy up your home and it wouldn't hurt to work a bit on yourself as well. The surprise visitor may be bearing gifts. Make sure they're not Greek.....

Birthdays: George Washington, first American President 1732, Arthur Schopenhauer, philosopher 1788, James Russell Lowell,  poet, critic, and editor 1819, Edna St. Vincent Millay, poet 1892, Edward Kennedy, U.S. Senator 1932, Jonathan Demme, director, producer, screenwriter 1944, Julius Erving, basketball player 1950, Drew Barrymore, actress 1975.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: A man was sitting at a bar when he noticed a woman with a particularly large diamond ring. As he admired the ring, the bartender came over and said, "That's the Glopman diamond. It's beautiful, but it comes with a curse." The man asked, "What's the curse?" The bartender replied, "Mrs. Glopman."

While shopping for vacation clothes, a husband and wife passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since she had even considered buying a bathing suit, so she sought her husband's advice.

She asked, "What do you think?" Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?" Her husband replied, "Better get a bikini. You'd never get it all in one."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: Two male friends are out golfing one Saturday afternoon. After finishing one hole, they wait for the two women who are ahead of them at the next hole to finish. They wait a few minutes, but soon get irritated at the amount of time the women are taking to play the hole.

One of the men decides that enough is enough. He tells his friend, "I'm going to go up there and tell those two to hurry up!" He starts walking towards the women but after getting halfway there, he returns to his friend.

His friend asks, "What's wrong?" his friend asks. "I can't go over there. One of those women is my wife and the other is my mistress." His friend tells him, "That's okay, I'll go talk to them." He too starts walking towards the women but after getting halfway there, he too returns to his friend. He tells his friend, "Small world..."

A lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I'd like to buy some cyanide." The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."

The pharmacist's eyes got big and he explained, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband, that's against the law. I'll lose my license and they'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You cannot have any cyanide!"

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife. The pharmacist looked at the picture and said, "You didn't tell me you had a prescription."

That's it for today, my little meerkats. Remember, if you have to release bad news to the public, it would help if you are not ugly.

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More on Wednesday.

Stay Tuned !

1 comment:

jack69 said...

Good read, I sure do like salt!
Good line with Jurassic Park!
Good nite. Lots so goods tonight!
Try to be good!