Friday, February 12, 2016

Saint Valentine's Day Is Sunday

Just a reminder, especially for my male readers, the purchase of a giant teddy bear is a bad idea. The most import thing to remember is that what you give should be from the heart and within your means. Women understand and appreciate that.

Always purchase your Valentine a card. While gifts are always appreciated, the time you take to pick out that particular card that says how you fell is of the greatest importance.

I've always enjoyed taking my significant other to dinner, but restaurants are notorious for raising prices for holidays, so I always go there the night before. It avoids crowds, the prices are usually reasonable and it's still romantic.

One of the things I always buy for my Valentine is chocolates. I've never met a woman who didn't like chocolates. It just so happens that I love chocolates, as well. What a coincidence.....

So, enjoy this St. Valentine's Day opportunity to show the ones you care for, your deepest sentiments. Happy St. Valentines Day to all my friends and readers.

The News As I See It: HillaryClintonandBernieSanders faced off last night in a debate on PBS, or as PBS called it, "Antiques Roadshow." Hillary said it's a "low blow" for Bernie Sanders to criticize her for not being progressive enough. If you want to know more about that story, do not Google "Clinton low blow."

Bernie Sanders recently had breakfast in Harlem with race baiter "Podium Al" Sharpton. That's interesting. Usually, the only reason white people go out to Harlem is because they fell asleep on the train.

J.K. Rowling will publish another Harry Potter book this summer and in this one, Harry is a father.....until chapter three, when Maury Povich shows up.

It'sbeenreported that infamous drug lord El Chapo will stand trial in Brooklyn. Though I'm not sure it's a good idea to try him in a place that already has, five tunnels.

This Date In History: 1554; Lady Jane Grey, queen of England for nine days (in 1553), was executed for high treason. 1733; Led by philanthropist James Edward Oglethorpe, the first English colonists arrived in Georgia, at the site of Savannah.

1818; Chile formally proclaimed its independence from Spain. 1870; The Utah Territory granted women the right to vote (revoked in 1887). 1909; The National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) was founded.

1912; Pu Yi, the last emperor of the Manchu (Ch'ing) dynasty in China, renounced his throne following the establishment of a republic under Sun Yat-sen. 1973; The first release of American prisoners of war from the Vietnam war took place.

1999; The Senate voted to acquit President Clinton on charges of perjury and obstruction of justice. 2002 Yugoslavian ex-president Slobodan Milosevic went on trial for war crimes.

2010; The 2010 Winter Olympics opened in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada. The games got off to a tragic start when a luger from the Republic of Georgia, Nodar Kumaritashvili, dies tragically in a crash during training run.

Picture Of The Day: Love is shown in many ways.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I've noticed since everyone has video capabilities on their cell phones these days, no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to. 2) Rectitude is defined as the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists and a Pokemon is a Rastafarian proctologist. 3) I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met. 4) One of the nice things about owning a cat is that a cat will not wake you up in the middle of the night to ask, "If I died, would you get another cat?"  5) This is America and a man can wear a towel on his head any time he wishes, but my suggestion to him is to wear a John Deere hat on travel days!.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Aquarius - February 12th: Romance is in the air the entire weekend, moving south-westerly the north of France. If you don't happen to be near the north of France, don't panic! Wind directions can vary as much as the accuracy of this horoscope.

Birthdays: Charles Darwin, naturalist 1809, Abraham Lincoln, 16th President of the United States 1809, John L. Lewis, labor leader 1880, Anna Pavlova, ballerina 1881, Omar Bradley. general 1893, Costa-Gavras, director 1933, Bill Russell, basketball player 1934, Judy Blume, writer 1938, Christina Ricci. actress 1980.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: A Texas cowboy and his bride ask the hotel desk clerk for a room, telling him they just got married that morning. The clerk says, "Congratulations!"

Looking at the cowboy, he asks, "Would you like the bridal then?" The cowboy says, "Naw, thanks, I reckon I'll just hold her by the ears 'til she gets the hang of it."

The divorce court judge said, "Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully, and I've decided to give your wife $775 a week."

The husband said "That's very fair, your honor, and every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself !"

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A man woke up with a bad hangover after a long evening of partying. As his girlfriend was coming out of the bathroom, she asked him how he was feeling. He replied, "Well, I think I'll be okay. Did you enjoy last night?"

She replied sarcastically, "Well, if you consider having your boyfriend fall asleep during reciprocation as fun, what do you think?" The boyfriend answered dejectedly, "Well, I guess that explains why I dreamed I was kissing Abraham Lincoln."

A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students and said, "Human beings are the only animals that stutter." A little girl raises her hand and said, "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered."

The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.

The little girl said, "Well, I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!"

The teacher said, "That must have been scary."The little girl said, "It sure was! My kitty raised his back, went 'Fffff, Fffff, Fffff' and before he could say 'F*ck', the Rottweiler ate him!"

That's it for today, my little wallabies. Remember, don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. I'm heading over to AREA 51 for happy hour.

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Happy Saint Valentine's Day to all the sweethearts. Have a great weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !

1 comment:

jack69 said...

I printed out the advice. Now if I can just keep up with it.
Hey I enjoyed the read. Thanks for the hint about ABE!

I know that dream!
Have a happy Valentines, I getting Sherry a mixer, she is going to be so surprised..