Monday, February 8, 2016

Super Bowl 50 ~ Denver 24 Carolina 10

Defense decided the outcome of Super Bowl 50. Both quarterbacks performed somewhat well against strong defenses, but to no avail. The bonehead of the game was Aqib Talib, whose two stupid penalties and thug-like tactics almost cost the Broncos the game.

Von Miller dominated the AFC Championship game with 2 ½ sacks and a huge interception of Tom Brady. He was just as dominant in the Super Bowl with another 2 ½ sacks, including two forced fumbles that set up the Broncos’ two touchdowns. Miller was the clear choice as the Super Bowl MVP. He was just the fourth linebacker to win the award.

One of two Aqib Talib's unnecessary penalties, this one for grabbing the face mask after the receiver beat him.

Cam Newton finished just 18 for 41 for 265 yards and three turnovers. Newton’s receivers didn’t do him any favors, but he overthrew a bunch of passes and curiously pulled away from trying to recover his own key fourth quarter fumble.

Newton also sulked through his post game press conference and walked out in the middle of it. His lack of sportsmanship showed on and off the field.

Peyton Manning, now a 2 time super bowl champ, became the first player to play 200 games. Peyton's character and class shown both on and off the field. Rather than be a "it's all about me" player, he continually praised other players and coaches on their performance.

The game was hardly a masterpiece with the teams combining for 15 punts and six turnovers. They converted only four out of 29 third downs and it was only the fourth Super Bowl ever not to feature a touchdown pass.

I didn't care too much for the half-time show as I am not a fan of any of the participants. Lady Gaga's rendition of the national anthem was superb.

The bottom line? Football is over and the Nascar season begins next Saturday.....

Cam Newton was manhandled by the Broncos' defense

The News As I See It: At a CNN town hall debate for the democrats, Hillary Clinton said that during her time in the White House, she would actually put on a baseball cap and sunglasses so she could walk around Washington, D.C., unnoticed. The only time it went wrong was when Bill pulled up and said, "Hey baby, do you — oh, never mind."

At the MSNBC democratic debate, Hillary addressed the controversy of her personal email server and said she has "no concerns about it whatsoever." Democrats were like, "yeah, that's what concerns us."

Hillary also told Bernie Sanders that it's time for his campaign to "end the very artful smear" against her. Incidentally, "very artful smear" is also how Bernie orders a bagel. "Gimme a whole wheat with a very artful schmear of veggie cream cheese!"

The newest issue of Playboy does not feature any full-frontal nudity and instead focuses on social media. So be sure to pick up the final issue of Playboy.

This Date In History: 1587; Mary Queen of Scots was beheaded. 1693; College of William and Mary in Williamsburg, Va., received its charter, becoming the second institution of higher learning in the United States. 1870; The National Weather Service was established under the U.S. Army Signal Corps.

1904; The Russo-Japanese war began when the Japanese launched a surprise attack on the Russian fleet at Port Arthur in northeast China. 1915; D. W. Griffith's controversial epic, The Birth of a Nation premiered in Los Angeles.

1924; The gas chamber was used for the first time as a method of execution in the United States. Gangster Gee Jon was put to death at the Nevada State Prison in Carson City.

1960; The payola (pay for broadcast airplay) hearings opened in the U.S. House of Representatives. Dick Clark would testify in April. 1980; President Jimmy Carter revealed his plan to reinstate selective service draft registration.

Picture Of The Day: Peyton Manning, a class act !

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) When I was eight, I saw a picture of myself in one of those strollers for twins. I asked Dad why there were two seats in the stroller. He said I used to have a brother, but he didn't obey.  2) Americans and Britons have different ways of saying things. They say "lift", we say "elevator". They say "President", we say "Liberal narcissist asshole". 3) I have a large seashell collection, which I keep scattered on beaches all over the world. 4) Throwing pregnancy tests into the shopping carts of random couples at Walmart breaks the tedium when I have to shop there. 5) My friend said to me, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art." I said, "Really? What kind is it?" He said, "Twelve-thirty.".....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Aquarius - February 8th: Horoscopes have always had a tendency to be wrong for you, but today's will be a peach. This year looks like it's going to be a great one. Full of vigorous situations, sweaty encounters and trysts in mysterious places.

Birthdays: William Tecumseh Sherman, American General 1820, Jules Verne, novelist 1828, Kate Chopin, author 1851, Martin Buber, philosopher 1878, Dame Edith Evans, actress 1888, Elizabeth Bishop, poet 1911, Lana Turner, actress 1920, Jack Lemmon, actor 1925, James Dean, actor 1931, John Williams, composer, conductor 1932, Nick Nolte, actor 1940, John Grisham, novelist 1955, Gary Coleman, actor 1968.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: A man and his wife were driving home one very cold night when the wife asks her husband to stop the car. There was a baby skunk lying at the side of the road and she got out to see if it was still alive.

It was, and she said to her husband, "It’s nearly frozen to death. Can we take it with us, get it warm and let it go in the morning?" He says, "Okay, get in the car with it"

His wife asked, "Where shall I put it to get it warm?" He says, "Put it in between your legs. It’s nice and warm there." She asked, "But what about the smell?" The man replied, "Just hold its little nose." (The man is expected to recover in two or three days.)

A man was walking in the city, when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking drifter who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner. The man took out his wallet, extracted two dollars and asked, "If I gave you this money, will you take it and buy whiskey?" The drifter said, "No, I stopped drinking years ago.

The man asked, "Will you use it to gamble?" The drifter replied, "I don't gamble. I need everything I can get just to stay alive." The man questioned, "Will you spend the money on greens fees at a golf course?" The drifter answered, "Are you nuts?! I haven't played golf in 20 years!"

The man said, "Well, I'm not going to give you two dollars. Instead, I'm going to take you to my home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."

The drifter was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty bad." The man replied, "That's OK. I just want her to see what a man looks like who's given up drinking, gambling, and golf."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: My thanks to my pals, Jack and Wally, for their contributions to today's stories

A man went to see a movie the other night and sat in an aisle seat as he usually does because it feels a little roomier. Just as the feature was about to start, a blonde from the center of the row got up and started working her way out,"Excuse me, sorry, oops, excuse me, pardon me, gotta hurry, oops, excuse me."

By the time she got to him, he was trying to look around her and I was a little impatient, so he said, "Couldn’t you have done this a little earlier?" She said in a loud whisper, "No, the 'turn off your cell phone please' message just flashed up on the screen and I left mine in the car."

The year is 2020 and the United States has elected the first woman as well as the first Jewish president, Susan Goldstein. She calls up her mother a few weeks after Election Day and says, "So, Mom, I assume you'll be coming to my inauguration?" Her Mom says, "I don't think so. It's a ten-hour drive, your father isn't as young as he used to be, and my arthritis is acting up again."

Susan said, "Don't worry about it, Mom, I'll send Air Force One to pick you up and take you home. And a limousine will pick you up at your door." Her Mom replied. "I don't know. Everybody will be so fancy-schmantzy; what on earth would I wear?" Susan replies, "I'll make sure you have a wonderful gown, custom-made by the best designer in New York."

Mom complains, "Honey, you know I can't eat those rich foods you and your friends like to eat." The President-to-be responds, "Don't worry Mom. The entire affair is going to be handled by the best caterer in New York, kosher all the way. Mom, I really want you to come."

So Mom reluctantly agrees and on January 20, 2021, Susan Goldstein is being sworn in as President of the United States. In the front row sits the new President's mother, who leans over to a Senator sitting next to her and says, "You see that woman over there with her hand on the Torah, becoming President of the United States?" The Senator whispers back, "Yes, I do." Mom says proudly, "Her brother is a doctor."

That's it for today, my little sweet potatoes. Remember, the consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

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More on Wednesday.

Stay Tuned !


jack69 said...

I attended my first Super Bowl party, The Panthers stadium is about 12 miles from our home in NC. So we went to see our Panthers win. We don't have cable, satellite, or TV reception at the MH.
I had no idea what words were to any songs if there were any at half time. I was just watching to see if some woman would have a costume failure, like what's her name. (I think they all did). I did like them upside down umbrellas that looked like flowers.
Sherry was disappointed since we lost (MY fault, methinks). I was disappointed in our over paid QB who could not be gracious in a loss.

Enjoyed the read, try to be good!

jack69 said...

I forgot Sherry read this after me. I was joking honey!