Wednesday, April 20, 2016

What's In Your Wheelhouse?

The resurgence of "wheelhouse" in today's vernacular is so overly parroted that I would bet half of the users haven't the slightest idea of what it even means. Loosely, the term is used to explain something that falls into a person's area of expertise.

A wheelhouse, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, is "a structure enclosing a large wheel, e.g. a water-wheel; specifically a house or superstructure containing the steering-wheel, a pilot-house; also, the paddle-box of a steam-boat."

In baseball this is the part of a player's swinging range in which as a hitter they can make the best contact with the ball. If a pitch is right in your wheelhouse it is right where you want it, in the spot where you have the best chance of hitting it well.

Wheelhouse is now being used quite a bit by the media in politics and other areas whether it makes sense or not. It is, if you will, the term of the day. In an era where "kick the can down the road" and words like "vetted" are overly employed ad nauseum, it is just another tool for the uninformed and misinformed.

The News As I See It: Ben and Jerry, the ice cream guys, were arrested for being part of a political protest on the steps of the Capitol building. However, some good did come out of it. They got a lot of new attention for their cause. Also, they got a new flavor of ice cream, which is Toilet Wine Toffee Crunch.

I hope that everyone a happy Tax Day although I guess it's only happy if you get money back. You have to put stamps on the envelope to send your tax returns in. Can't they just throw that in? They charge us $1.41 to have the honor of sending them half the money we earn this year.

This Date In History: 1769; Ottawa Indian chief Pontiac was murdered. 1841; The first detective story, Edgar Allen Poe's Murders in the Rue Morgue was published. 1902; Marie and Pierre Curie isolated radium.

1912; The Boston Red Sox played their first game at Fenway Park. They beat the N.Y. Highlanders (who in 1913 would become known as the Yankees) 7-6. 1971; The U.S. Supreme Court upheld the practice of busing for racial desegregation.

1999; Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold went on a shooting spree at Columbine High School in Littleton, Colo. 14 students (including the shooters) and 1 teacher were killed; 23 others were wounded.

2008; Danica Patrick won the Indy Japan 300, becoming the first woman to win an IndyCar race. 2010; An explosion on a BP oil drilling rig off the coast of Louisiana kills 11

Picture Of The Day: Not very exciting but an accurate depiction of a wheelhouse.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) Lust is not real love and Domino's is not real pizza but both are fine when you're drunk. 2) It was all fun and games until she noticed that the "rocket" in her five-year-old son's Lego launchpad came from the drawer in her nightstand. 3) Hell hath no fury like a girl tagged in an unapproved pic on Facebook. 4) 9 out of 10 students agree that someone got lost on the field trip. 5) Wanna hear me read a receipt from my trip to the grocery store? That's how interested I am in listening to the details of your workout.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Aries - April 20th: Admitting to shooting the sheriff is not a good alibi when being accused of shooting the deputy. Any time you feel restless this week, try to imagine what it would be like to take Viagra and Ritalin at the same time.

Birthdays: Daniel Chester, French sculptor 1850, Adolf Hitler, founder and leader of National Socialism (Nazis) and German dictator 1889, Joan MirĂ³, artist 1893, Lionel Hampton, vibraphonist and bandleader, 1908, Tito Puente, musician, jazz percussionist 1923 Jessica Lange, actress 1949.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: Obama was riding in his limousine, coming from a democratic fund-raiser in Northern Arizona, when he saw an elderly Navajo man walking on the side of the road.

As the trip was a long and quiet one, he stopped the car and asked the Navajo man if he would like a ride. With a word or two of thanks, the Navajo man got in the car.

After resuming the journey and a bit of small talk, the Navajo man noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Obama. He asked, "What's in the bag?" Obama looked down at the brown bag and said, "It's a bottle of wine. I got it for Michelle"

The Navajo man was silent for a moment and then, speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, he said, "Good trade."

During these serious and trying times, people of all faiths should remember these four great religious truths:

1. Muslims do not recognize Jews as God's chosen people.
2. Jews do not recognize Christ as the Messiah.
3. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian world.
4. Baptists do not recognize each other at Hooters or the Liquor Store.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A man was taking it easy, lying on the grass and looking up at the clouds. He was identifying shapes when he decided to talk to GOD. He said, "GOD, how long is a million years?" GOD answered, "In my frame of reference, it's about a minute."

The man asked, "GOD, how much is a million dollars?" GOD answered, "To Me, it's a dime." The man then asked, "GOD, can I have a dime?" GOD said, "In a minute."

A farmer went to town to see a movie. The ticket agent asked, "Sir, what’s that under your arm?" The old farmer said, "That’s my pet rooster Chucky, wherever I go, Chucky goes." The ticket agent said, "We don’t allow animals in the theater."

The irritated old farmer went around the corner and stuffed the bird down his pants. He returned to the booth, bought a ticket and entered the theater. He sat down next to two old widows named Mildred and Marge. The movie started and the rooster began to squirm. The old farmer unzipped his pants so Chucky could stick his head out and watch the movie.

Mildred whispered, "Marge, I think this guy next to me is a pervert." Marge replied, "What makes you think that?" Mildred whispered, "He unzipped his pants and is exposing himself." Marge said, "Well, don’t worry about it, At our age we’ve seen them all." Mildred said, "Yeah, but this one is eating my popcorn."

That's it for today, my little cherry blossoms. Remember, sometimes auto-correct can be your worst enema. I'm heading over to AREA 51 for happy hour.

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More on Friday.

Stay Tuned !