ObamaCare: Arrogance, Deception and Lies

Thou shalt not lie. Especially when thou messeth with one-sixth of the U.S. economy and especially when thou art assuring Americans that thy bill won't kill their health insurance policies. Because when thou gets snared in thy intentional deceptions, thy payeth hell.

Democrats in Congress and their allies sold ObamaCare. We know this because arrogant MIT economist Jonathan Gruber, a key architect of the act, repeatedly gloated — in video-recorded appearances — that the sponsors lied.

One passage from an October 2013 conference at the University of Pennsylvania: "lack of transparency is a huge political advantage and basically, you know, call it 'the stupidity of the American voter or whatever', but basically, that was really, really critical to getting this thing (ObamaCare) to pass."

The Wall Street Journal later reported that Obama's advisers knew he was making a promise he couldn't keep, and they debated whether he should "explain the nuances of the succinct line in his stump speeches."

Instead, three months after Obama signed the ACA in March 2010, the administration acknowledged on page 34,552 of the Federal Register its midrange estimate that "66 percent of small employer plans and 45 percent of large employer plans" couldn't survive ObamaCare. Last autumn's wave of canceled individual policies further debunked the If-you-like promise that, to their eternal chagrin, hundreds of campaigning Democrats repeated to voters.

Nancy Pelosi in a 2009 press conference, praised Jonathon Gruber's work on Obamacare.

Defenders of Obamacare dismiss these revelations with three breezy retorts: "We all knew how the law really would work." (No) "You gotta do what you gotta do." (No) And "This Gruber, he's a nobody." This third excuse basked in absurdity Thursday: Nancy Pelosi dismissively said she didn't know who Gruber is and that he didn't help write the ACA, so, "Let's put him aside."

Turns out that Pelosi issued a 2009 news release touting "noted MIT health care economist Jonathan Gruber" whose modeling predicted "lower premiums than under current law for the millions of Americans using the newly-established Health Insurance Exchange." Oh, and Pelosi also had discussed Gruber at a news conference.

Although the mainstream media as a whole (with few exceptions) is covering up the damning video of ObamaCare architect Jonathan Gruber openly discussing all the lies and deceit surrounding passage of Obama's signature domestic achievement, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi forced the Washington Post's hand on the matter Thursday when she was caught lying about not knowing Gruber.

Pelosi told reporters Thursday, "I don't know who [Gruber] is. He didn't help write our bill." The only problem with that claim is the Post's discovery that in November of 2009, Pelosi gushed over Gruber by name.

The question is not whether or not Obamacare is good for America. The question is should we allow politicians and their accomplices to knowingly lie to and deceive the American public without consequences. 

"We have to pass the bill so you can find out what is in it" — Then-U.S. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi on Obamacare, March 9, 2010. Nancy Pelosi says she doesn't know him? Googling her, says she does, complete with video.

There you have it, my friends. Lies, deception and arrogance from Obama, Nancy Pelosi and Jonathon Gruber. And they wonder why they were overwhelmingly defeated and ousted in the 2014 midterm elections. Is this a great country or what?

Author's Note: Today's post is partially comprised of excerpts from The Chicago Tribune (November 13, 2014).
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/opinion/editorials/ct-gruber-obamacare-pelosi-obama-edit-1114-20141113-story.html

The Nascar Championship will be held this weekend at Miami-Homestead Speedway. The championship will be decided between the four finalists; Denny Hamlin, Joey Logano, Kevin Harvick and Ryan Newman.

Jeff Gordon won the pole position for Sunday's race with Championship drivers Kevin Harvick starting 5th, Denny Hamlin starting 8th, Joey Logano starting 9th and Ryan Newman qualifying in the 21st position. Methinks the race will be a barn-burner and should fun to watch.

The race starts at 3 pm (EST) and will be televised on ESPN.

The News As I See It: The Supreme Court lifted the ban on same-sex marriage in Kansas. They didn't give a reason for the ruling, but then again when a state is famous for a Judy Garland musical about a rainbow and a wizard who comes out of a closet, do you really need an excuse?

It's rumored that Obama is planning to announce a new 10-part immigration plan before Thanksgiving. And you thought your family wouldn't have anything to argue about this year.

The New York doctor who caught Ebola and proceeded to gad about town endangering the public, has been declared Ebola free. Obama called the doctor to thank him for his selflessness and compassion. Then to be safe, Obama threw his phone in a trash can and lit it on fire.

People in China criticized Obama for chewing gum while entering the economic summit in Beijing. They're saying he looked like a rapper. Hey, lose the suit and give him a joint....? I agree.

The European Space Agency landed a probe on a comet 317 million miles from Earth. When you get discouraged by how much attention people pay to Kim Kardashian's ass, remember that there are also people out there that know how to land a spacecraft on a moving comet 317 million miles away.

The Secret Service said there have been 40 fence-jumping incidents at the White House in the past five years. Half of them were intruders trying to get in. The other half was Obama trying to get out.

A tiger has been seen running around Paris. Citizens were told to stay indoors and do whatever's necessary to protect the wine and cheese. They should leave home only to smoke and to judge others. When Parisians first heard about a giant predator on the loose, they assumed it was Gerard Depardieu.

According to a new report, Detroit, Michigan, is the most dangerous city in the country with Oakland, California, coming in second and the third most dangerous was somehow Detroit again.

This Date In History: 1851; Herman Melville's novel Moby Dick was published. 1889; Nellie Bly set out to beat Jules Verne's fictional Phileas Fogg's time of 80 days to travel around the world. She did it in 72. 1922; The British Broadcasting Corporation began its domestic radio service.

1969; Apollo 12, the second manned lunar expedition, was launched. 1995; The U.S. federal government began a partial shut down of government services after the U.S. Congress could not pass a budget.

2002; Nancy Pelosi of California became the first woman and the first idiot to lead a party in Congress. 2003; The most distant object ever found in our solar system, named Sedna, was discovered by astronomers at the Mount Palomar Observatory.

Picture Of The Day: Democrats ousted by the 2014 midterm elections prepare to return home.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) For those waiting for me to go out of my mind, it may take longer as the exits are not clearly marked. 2) I hate it when my girlfriend asks me to hold her purse and it doesn't match what I'm wearing. 3) 600 shopping carts at Publix and I always pick the one with the front wheel that like to pirouette like a ballerina on speed. 4) I'm about ten pounds overweight and I know it's my own fault, but you'd be amazed how much "exercise" and "extra fries" sound alike. 5) I never was an Olympic athlete, but I did participate in a Toyotathon once.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Scorpio - November 14th: Remember that water dissolves alien beasts and some witches. Do you really want to be drinking 8 glasses a day with that track record? If you pick yourself up by your shoe-strings today you are likely to fall flat on your ass. Test yourself today by walking around semi-nude, but remember that this will affect your chance of romance.

Birthdays: Robert Fulton, inventor, engineer, and painter 1765, Claude Monet, painter 1840, Jawaharlal Nehru, first Prime Minister of India 1889, Mamie Eisenhower, First Lady 1896, Aaron Copland, composer 1900, Astrid Lindgren writer 1907, Boutros Boutros-Ghali, ex-Secretary General of the U.N. 1922, McLean Stevenson, actor 1929, Wendy Carlos, composer and musician 1939, Charles, Prince of Wales, heir to the British throne 1948, Condoleezza Rice, Secretary of State 1954.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: A Roadway truck driver is driving east on Route 66 and he sees another truck driving west. The CB crackles to life and a voice "Hey Roadway driver, who are the two biggest assholes in America?" The Roadway driver replies, "I don't know." The other trucker says " You and your brother.

The Roadway driver gets annoyed but the other driver tells him "It's just a joke. Tell it to the next truck you see."

The Roadway driver goes for about an hour and finally sees another truck. He gets on the CB and says, "Hey trucker, do you know who the two biggest assholes in the world are?" The other trucker says, "I don't know, who?" The roadway driver replies "Me and my brother."

A man and woman were having sexual problems and she asked him to see his doctor. The man said to his doctor, "I'm having trouble getting aroused."

The doctor examines him and says, "You'll need to have some work done to bring back your sex drive. I can do it in a series of operations that will take thirty days and cost twelve thousand dollars or I can do it in one operation right away that would cost thirty thousand dollars. Why don't you go home and discuss it with your wife?"

The next day the guy comes back into the doctor's office. The doctor says, "Did you talk it over with your wide?" The man nods is head. The doctor asks, "What did you decide?" The man says, "We're going to re-model the kitchen."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: Bubba was fixing a door and he found that he needed a new hinge, so he sent Mary Louise to the hardware store. At the hardware store Mary Louise saw a beautiful teapot on a top shelf while she was waiting for Joe Bob to finish waiting on a customer.

When Joe Bob was finished, Mary Louise asked, "How much for the teapot?" Joe Bob replied, "That's silver and it costs $100!" Mary Louise replied, "My goodness, that sure is a lotta money!" She then proceeded to describe the hinge that Bubba had sent her to buy.

Joe Bob went to the backroom to find a hinge. From the backroom Joe Bob yelled, "Mary Louise, you wanna screw for that hinge?" Mary Louise replied, "No, but I will for that teapot!"

The woman quickly realized that the large wave had unceremoniously dispatched the top part of her bikini into the deep. More than a little embarrassed, she clasped her arms across her chest and made a dash for her car. She could sense everyone gawking at her along the way.

Upon entering the parking lot a little boy, who was following his mother to the beach asked, pointing to her arms, "Are you carrying puppies in there?" Not wanting to explain what had really happened, the woman replied, "Why yes, yes they are." She quickly moved on but heard the boy shout after her, "If you're giving them away, I'll take the one with the brown nose!"

That's it for today, my little furballs. Remember, serendipity is looking in a haystack for a needle and discovering the farmer's daughter. I'm heading over to AREA 51 for happy hour.

Have a great weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !

Politics As Usual - Graft, Scandals And The Like

The so-called "Super Committee" is less than 10 days from their deadline and it seems that nothing has been resolved. If the committee fails to come up with a plan to present to Congress, and Congress fails to pass the measure, it would result in automatic politically painful cuts to defense and domestic programs - something neither party wants.

Methinks the term is a misnomer.... A committee? Yes, by definition. Super? Not by the farthest stretch of one's imagination. Super Assholes is a much better term and more aptly describes the committee and Congress in general.

Speaking of assholes, Nancy Pelosi apparently bought $1 million to $5 million of Visa stock in one of the most sought-after and profitable initial public offerings (IPO) in American history while thwarting and blocking serious credit card reform for two years, then watched her investment skyrocket 203%.

The revelation appears in "Throw Them All Out", the new book by investigative journalist and Breitbart editor Peter Schweizer, which was the focus of 60 Minutes on CBS this evening, and which is featured in this week’s issue of Newsweek.

Schweizer’s investigation of Pelosi and other members of Congress – from both parties – raises a critical question: should it be legal for lawmakers to buy stocks in companies directly affected by their legislative efforts?

The News As I See It: There's a fifth woman that claims to have had a problem with Herman Cain. If this keeps up, it seems very unlikely he will be president, although it seems more and more likely he will become governor of California.

The Italian prime minister has stepped down. He's looking forward to spending more time with his wife and five hookers.

President Obama’s personal assistant Reggie Love has announced he will be leaving the White House. Reggie Love plans to return to his previous job hosting a smooth jazz station in Chicago.

This Date In History: 1851; Herman Melville's novel Moby Dick was published.
1889; Nellie Bly set out to beat Jules Verne's fictional Phileas Fogg's time of 80 days to travel around the world. She did it in 72. 1922; The British Broadcasting Corporation began its domestic radio service. 1969 Apollo 12, the second manned lunar expedition, was launched.

1995; The U.S. federal government began a partial shut down of government services after the U.S. Congress could not pass a budget. 2002; Nancy Pelosi of California became the first woman to lead a party in Congress. 2003; The most distant object ever found in our solar system, named Sedna, was discovered by astronomers at the Mount Palomar Observatory.

Picture Of The Day: Just silly pictures today. Cut me some slack, it's Monday.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) In an intellectually equal society, who will be the busboys? 2) The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. 3) Never play leapfrog with a rhinoceros. 4) My friend said to me, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art." I said, "Really? What kind is it?" He said, "Twelve-thirty." 5) I was walking down the road and saw my Afghanistani neighbor Abdul standing on his second floor apartment balcony shaking a carpet. I shouted up to him, "What's wrong, Abdul? Won't it start?.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Scorpio - November 14th: As we all know, Mondays suck, but oddly enough, it should be a good day for you. Of course, this premise is based on your using common sense, so that idea you had last night should be put on hold. No chance for romance today, but then again, it's Monday, and no one does it on Monday.

Birthdays: Robert Fulton, inventor, engineer, and painter 1765, Claude Monet, painter 1840, Jawaharlal Nehru, first Prime Minister of India 1889, Mamie Eisenhower, First Lady 1896, Aaron Copland, composer 1900, Astrid Lindgren, writer 1907, Boutros Boutros-Ghali, ex-Secretary General of the U.N. 1922, McLean Stevenson, actor 1929, Wendy Carlos, composer and musician 1939, Charles, Prince of Wales, heir to the British throne 1948, Condoleezza Rice, government official 1954.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said, "This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?" The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door and walked into his office puzzled by the question.

As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open, and zipped it up. He then understood his assistant's question about his "garage door." He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask, "When my garage door was open, did you see my Hummer parked in there?" She smiled and said, "No, I didn't. All I saw was an old mini van with two flat tires."

The circus came to town and an ad for an animal trainer was placed in the local paper. Only two applicants showed up, an old man and a female. The owner said he could only afford one animal trainer, so he would choose the one with the best act.

At first glance it appeared that the female was much better prepared, since she came to the interview in a very long flowing cape, with a whip and chair. She looked more like a model than a trainer. The man's only distinguishing feature was a cigar stuffed between his cracked and leathery lips. The owner asked who would like to go first, and the man said, "Ladies before Gentleman."

So the lady asked for her special music to be played, and once the music started she entered the cage with a flurry of whip snapping. She motioned the attendant to release the lion. The lion leaped into the cage snarling. The young lady threw aside her whip, tossed back her cape and sat on the chair as naked as the day she was born.

The lion then circled her, sniffing the air, then suddenly leaped toward her, put its face between her legs and started licking. She threw back her head moaning, holding the lion by the ears with her thighs. She rode on the lion's face all around the cage.

Then the owner looked at the man and said, "That's quite an act. Think you can do better than that?" The old man spit out his cigar and said, "No problem, just get that lion out of the cage!"

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: This first story is for Brother Kirt and my pals, Everett and Victor, all employed by or retired from the U.S. Post Office.

One Monday morning a mailman is walking the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he notices that both cars were in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by Bob, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles.

The mailman says, "Wow Bob, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night." Bob in obvious pain replies, "Actually we had it Saturday night. This is the first I have felt like moving since 4:00 am Sunday morning. We had about fifteen couples from around the neighborhood over for some weekend fun and it got a bit wild. Hell, we got so drunk around midnight that we started playing 'Who Am I?'" The mailman thinks a moment and says, "How do you play that?"

Bob says, "Well all the guys go in the bedroom and we come out one at a time with a sheet covering us and only our 'privates' showing through a hole in the sheet. Then the women try to guess who it is." The mailman laughs and says, "Damn, I'm sorry I missed that." Bob says, "Probably a good thing you did. Your name came up seven times...."

Jack was sitting in an airplane when another guy took the seat beside him. Jack noticed that the guy was moaning and shaking. Jack asked, "What's wrong?" The guy answered, "I've been transferred to New Orleans, Louisiana. They have shootings, rapes, robberies, gangs, race riots, drugs.....the highest crime rate."

Jack interrupted, "Hold on. I've lived there all my life. It's not as bad as the media says. Find a nice home, go to work, mind your own business, enroll your kids in a good school and it's as safe as anywhere in the world." The other passenger relaxed and stopped shaking for a moment and said, "Oh, thank you. I've been worried to death, but if you live there and say it's OK, I'll take your word for it. What do you do for a living?" Jack replied, "I'm the tail gunner on a Budweiser beer truck."

An old nun who was living in a convent next to a construction site noticed the coarse language of the workers and decided to spend some time with them to correct their ways. She decided she would take her lunch sit with the workers and talk with them. She put her sandwich in a brown bag and walked over to the spot where the men were eating.

She walked up to the group and with a big smile said "Do you men know Jesus Christ?" They shook their heads and looked at each other. One of the workers looked up into the steelwork and yelled "Anybody up there know Jesus Christ?" One of the steelworkers asked why. The worker yelled "his wife is here with his lunch."

That's it for today my little hula hoops. Remember, we never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public. More on Wednesday.

Stay Tuned !

Ding Dong! The Witch Is Dead!

It almost feels like a long weekend after months and months of name calling, cut throat, political commercials. We now return to the peace and quiet of watching horrible reality shows. The powers that be in the television world have taken a tip from politics. It seems they've decided that if we were so stupid as to elect the idiots of '08, as though the elections were an American Idol contest, then we'll certainly be gullible enough to watch a bunch of lame reality shows.

One of the few gems on television is "Two and a Half Men." The award winning show is well written and entertaining and its popularity has already spilled over into syndication. If we can just keep Charlie Sheen's pants on him and keep him out of bars, the show should run for a while.

In the interim, everybody should take advantage of and enjoy this brief respite. The 2012 presidential campaign and accompanying elections begin on Monday.....

The News As I See It: President Obama is going to India. He’ll be traveling on Air Force One-Term.

Martin Sheen, the father of Charlie Sheen, is reportedly having a family intervention in Ireland. They’re sending an alcoholic to Ireland? That’s like sending Lindsay Lohan to Bogota, Colombia.

Thousands of marijuana enthusiasts went to the polls this morning in California to support Prop 19. Unfortunately, the election was on Tuesday.

China started conducting its nationwide census this week. Parents will be required to list each child’s age, grade, and occupation.

Police in India have arrested five people in an elephant smuggling ring. How bad is your airport security when you can’t catch people smuggling an elephant?

This Date In History: 1605; The Gunpowder Plot to blow up the English Parliament failed. 1872; Susan B. Anthony was fined $100 for trying to vote in the presidential election (she was trying to vote for President Grant). 1895; George B. Selden of Rochester, N.Y., received the first U.S. patent for an automobile.

1940; President Franklin D. Roosevelt won an unprecedented third term in office when he defeated Wendell L. Willkie. 1968; The first black woman representative to serve in Congress, Shirley Chisholm, was elected. 1974;
Ella T. Grasso became the first woman to win a gubernatorial office without succeeding her husband.

1989; Pianist Vladimir Horowitz died in New York at age 85. 1994; At 45, George Foreman, became the oldest heavyweight champion when he knocked out Michael Moorer in the 10th round of their WBA fight in Las Vegas.

Picture Of The Day: The photoshop gang and I would like to thank outgoing Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi for her continuing gaffes and missteps during her tenure. Thanks Nancy, you're the worst and without you, we'd have had no mudder and fodder.....

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) A bird in the hand makes blowing your nose difficult. 2) Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze. 3) Beauty lasts for a moment, but ugly goes on and on and on. 4) Real women don't have hot flashes... they have power surges. 5) Why not have your cake and eat it too - it's cake, what else are you going to do with it? .....and that's five !

Bonus Sixth (dedicated to parents): Why? Because I said so, damn it. Now go to your room.

Birthdays: Jonathan Edwards, theologian 1703, Francesco Guardi, landscape and architectural painter 1712, Denis Diderot, encyclopedist 1713, Chester A. Arthur, President of the United States 1830, Louis Lumiére, inventor 1864,

Raymond A. Kroc, founder of McDonalds 1902, Vaclav Havel, political leader, dramatist, poet 1936, Bob Geldof, rock musician 1951, Maya Lin, architect and artist 1959, Mario Lemieux, hockey player 1965, Kate Winslet, actress 1975.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar and Grill: Two old guys, Abe and Sol, sitting on a bench in a park feeding pigeons and talking about baseball, just like they did every day. Abe turns to Sol and says, "Do you think there's baseball in heaven?" Soloman thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno, Abe, but let's make a deal. If I die first, I will come back and tell you, and if you die first, you come back and tell me, if there is baseball in heaven."

They shake on it and, sadly, a few months later poor Abe passes on. One day soon afterward, Sol is sitting there feeding the pigeons by himself when he hears a voice whisper, "Sol... Sol...." Sol responds, "Abe! Is that you?" The spirit of Abe whispers, "Yes it is Sol." Sol, still amazed, asks, "So, is there baseball in heaven?"

Abe says, "Well, I got good news and I got bad news." Sol says, "Gimme the good news first." Abe says, "Well, there is baseball in heaven." Sol says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that!?" Abe sighs and whispers, "You're pitching on Friday."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: My thanks to my pal Hector for his contribution to today's stories.

A group of male lawyers loved their weekly Saturday morning round of golf. Then, one transferred to another city and the game wasn't the same without him. A new woman lawyer joined their law firm. She overheard the guys talking about their golf round and said, "You know, I used to play on my golf team in college and I was pretty good would you mind if I joined you next week?"

The three guys looked at each other. Not one of them wanted to say "yes", but she had them on the spot. Finally, one man said it would be okay, but they would be starting early -- at 6:30 am. He figured the early tee-time would discourage her. The woman said this may be a problem, and asked if she could be up to 15 minutes late. They rolled their eyes, but said okay. She smiled and said, "Good, I'll be there at 6:30 or 6:45."

She showed up at 6:30 sharp, and beat all three of them with a 2-under par round. She was fun and pleasant person, and the guys were impressed. Back at the clubhouse, they congratulated her and invited her back the next week. She smiled, and said, "I'll be there at 6:30 or 6:45."

The next week she again showed up at 6:30 sharp. Only this time, she played left-handed. The three lawyers were incredulous as she still beat them with an even par round, despite playing with her off-hand. They were totally amazed, but wondered if she was trying to make them look bad by beating them left-handed. They couldn't figure her out. She was again very pleasant and didn't seem to be purposely showing them up they invited her back again, but each man harbored a burning desire to beat her game.

The third week, the guys had their game faces on. But this time, she was 15 minutes late, which made the guys irritable. This week the lady lawyer played right-handed, and narrowly beat all three of them. The men mused that her late arrival was due to petty gamesmanship on her part. However, she was so gracious and so complimentary of their strong play, they couldn't hold a grudge.

Back in the clubhouse, all three guys were shaking their heads. This woman was a riddle no one could figure out. They had a couple of beers, and finally, one of the men asked her point blank, "How do you decide if you're going to golf right-handed or left-handed?" The lady blushed, grinned and said, "That's easy. When my Dad taught me to play golf, I learned I was ambidextrous. I like to switch back and forth. When I got married in college, I discovered my husband always sleeps in the nude."

She continued, "From then on, I developed a silly habit. Right before I left in the morning for golf practice, I would pull the covers off him. If his you-know-what was pointing to the right, I golfed right-handed; if it was pointed to the left, I golfed left-handed." The guys on the team thought this was hysterical. Astonished at this bizarre information, one of the guys shot back, "But what if it's pointing straight up in the air?" She said, "Then, I'm fifteen minutes late for golf."

A lady is golfing with some friends. After sinking her first putt, she's on her way down the path to the second tee when she gets stung by a bee. She rushes the short distance back to the clubhouse, hoping to find a doctor. She bumps into the resident golf pro, who says "What can I help you with?"

The woman tells him she's been stung by a bee. The pro asks, "Oh really, where?" The lady replies, "Between the first and second hole." To that the golf pro states, "Well, I'd say your stance is definitely way too wide!"

A golfer was involved in a terrible car crash and was rushed to the hospital. Just before he was put under, the surgeon popped in to see him. The surgeon said, "I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that I have to remove your right arm!" The man cries, "Oh god no! My golfing is over? Please Doc, what’s the good news?"

The doctor said, "The good news is, I have another one to replace it with, but it's a woman’s arm! I'll need your permission before I go ahead with the transplant" The man saysm "Go for it doc! As long as I can play golf again."

The operation went well and a year later the man was out on the golf course when he bumped into the surgeon. The surgeon says, "Hi, how's the new arm?" The man says, "Just great! I'm playing the best golf of my life. My new arm has a much finer touch and my putting has really improved." The surgeon says, "That's great."

The man continued, "Not only that, my handwriting has improved, I’ve learned how to sew my own clothes and I've even taken up painting landscapes in watercolors." The surgeon says, "Unbelievavle! I'm so glad to hear the transplant was such a great success. I'm glad you didn't have side affects." The golfer says, "Well, just one problem. Every time I get an erection, I also get a headache!"

That's it for today my little fire flies. Remember, sometimes you need a mistress just to break the monogamy. It's Friday and a good reason to head over to AREA 51 for happy hour. Have a great weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !