Obama vowed today that his administration would provide "much more aggressive" monitoring of Ebola cases in the United States and warned that in an age of frequent travel the disease could spread globally if the world doesn't respond to the "raging epidemic in West Africa."
Ya think? Jimmy's Journal wrote the same thing on October 6th, to wit: "My concern with Ebola grows and I think it would be prudent to stop incoming flights from some countries. Some believe that this is unfair. I don't particularly give a rat's ass if it's fair or not. My concern is America and specifically, my family and friends."
Yet Thomas
Duncan died On October 6th in a Texas hospital, as flights continued from Africa and two nurses who treated Duncan are now infected, as well. Does the Obama administration plan to stop Ebola the same way they've stopped ISIS? My patience is wearing thin!
The News As I See It: The most rat-infested city in the United States is Chicago. New York is fourth. I think that report is a bit misleading. The reason that New York is only fourth in rat population is that most of the rats grow old and retire to Florida.
It's hard to believe but they say that there are even more rats in L.A. than in Chicago, yet they are not ranked. I guess they're so focused on taking care of the Kardashian infestation that they forgot about the rats.
A new study has revealed that the reading level of presidential speeches has dropped significantly over the last 200 years. Or as Americans put it, "Why dat be?"
Obama played his 200th round of golf last week. Democrats said, “You know what? He can do whatever he wants as long as he's not trying to campaign for us.”
The fundraiser at Gwyneth Paltrow's house was a good idea for Obama. He found the one person in America with lower approval ratings than his.
Brad Pitt said this week that he doesn't feel safe in his own home without a gun. Pitt said, "I don't even know half these kids."
;This Date In History: 1066;
The Normans, under William the Conqueror, defeated the English at the Battle of Hastings.
1933;
Nazi Germany withdrew from the Geneva disarmament conference and the League of Nations.
1947;
U.S. Air Force Captain Charles "Chuck" Yeager became the first person to travel faster than the speed of sound.
1964;
Martin Luther King, Jr., was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for his work in civil rights.
1968;
The first live telecast from a staffed U.S. spacecraft was transmitted from Apollo 7th.
1990; Composer-conductor Leonard Bernstein died in New York at age 72.
Picture Of The Day: A second nurse infected with Ebola at a Texas hospital was flown by private jet Wednesday to Emory University Hospital in Atlanta for further specialized treatment.
Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
2) My ex-wife and I didn't think alike. She donated money to the homeless and I donated money to the topless! 3) Sometimes, when I am reading a good book, I stop to call and thank my teacher. That is, I used to, until she got an unlisted number. 4) If you pushed your naked clone off the top of a tall building, would it be murder, suicide or merely making an obscene clone fall? 5) I got spam today stating that I had been selected for a complimentary psychic reading. Uh...didn't you know my answer before you sent it?.....and that's five !
Today's Horoscope: Libra - October 14th: The light is coming closer and soon you will see exactly what the future holds with that special someone. The light is a little bit blinding though. I'm pretty sure it's a light. I've discussed it with a few other astrologers and it's either a light or a train. On second thought, you'd better listen for whistles, as well.
Birthdays: My friend Tim - Happy Birthday 19XX, James II,
king of England, Scotland and Ireland 1633,
William Penn,
founder of Pennsylvania 1644,
Elwood Haynes,
inventor 1857, Dwight D. Eisenhower, American general and 34th President of the United States 1890,
Lillian Gish,
actress 1893,
e.e. cummings,
poet 1894,
William Edwards Deming,
management consultant 1900,
Hannah Arendt,
political theorist 1906,
Roger Moore,
actor 1927,
Ralph Lauren,
fashion designer 1939.
The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: An elderly couple were discussing plans to get married and wanted to iron out any potential problems with their particular properties.
The old woman said, "I want to keep my condominium in my name" The old man replied, "That's fine with me."
The woman said, "I also want to keep my Cadillac in my name only." The man said, "that's fine with me."
Then, the old lady said, "I want to have sex six days a week." The old man said, "That's fine with me - put me down for Fridays."
A man and woman were in divorce court awaiting the judge's ruling on the financial and property settlement. The judge said, "Mr Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully and I've decided to give your wife $750 a week."
Mr Clark said, "That's very fair, your honor, and every now and then, I'll try to give her a few bucks, myself."
The Hits Just Keep On Coming: John just graduated from clinical psychology and opens his first office. After some successful advertising he is astounded to have nearly 300 people wanting to be in group therapy. John decides to rent a big hall and invite the entire group.
To break the ice and to get the therapy started, John decides to ask a show of hands how often the attendees had sex.
He first asks for a show of hands of all the people who had sex almost every night. A modest number of hands were raised.
He then asks, how many had sex once a week? This time a larger number of hands were raised. John then asks how many had sex once or twice a month? Again a few hands were raised.
After John polled his group several more times he noticed an old guy sitting off to the side with this huge beaming grin on his face. John noticed that the guy never raised his hand, so he asked him how often he had sex.
The old guy said, "Once a year!" To John's dismay, he responds, "Why are you so happy getting sex only once a year?" The old guy responds, "Tonight's the night!"
A guy can't obtain an erection so he goes to the doctor. The doctor tells him the muscles at the base of his penis are broken down and there's nothing he can do unless he's willing to try an experimental surgery. The guy asks what the surgery is.
The doctor tells him they take the muscles from the base of a baby elephants trunk, insert them in the base of his penis, and hope for the best. The guy says that sounds pretty scary but the thought of never having sex again is even scarier so go ahead.
The doctor goes ahead and performs the surgery and about 6 weeks later gives him the go ahead to "try out his new equipment".
The guy takes his girlfriend out to dinner. While at dinner he starts feeling an incredible pressure in his pants. It gets incredibly unbearable and he figures no one can see him so he undoes his pants.
No sooner does he do this than his penis pops out of his pants, rolls across the table, grabs a dinner roll, and disappears back into his pants. His girlfriend sits in shock for a few moments, then gets a sly look on her face.
She says "That was pretty cool! Can you do that again?"
With his eyes watering and a painful expression on his face, he says "Probably, but I don't know if I can fit another dinner roll up my ass!"
That's it for today, my little ducklings. Remember, a friend is someone who will help you move. A good friend is someone who will help you move a dead body. It's Wednesday and I'm heading over to AREA 51 for happy hour.
More on Friday.
Stay Tuned !
Tired of listening to the same old double talk by Obama and Congress? Tired of hearing "kick the can down the road" and trite political bullshit? There's a new word on the block and everyone's using it....."Feckless". Time to go to the dictionary again.
Obama the Feckless? Everyone is using the word. Obviously republicans like John McCain and others are using it, but so is CNN, former U.S. ambassador to the U.N. John Bolton, former Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta. Hell, even former president Jimmy Carter is using "feckless" to describe Obama.
Political rhetoric drives me insane! Just when I though I had a grasp of Washington double speak....when I finally thought I could deal with terms like vetting, collateral damage, fiscal cliff and double down politics, along comes politicians with the word "feckless" and the media, facebook and others tell me that it's "trending".
Trending? Evidently this is their way of saying "Breaking News" or "News Alert" - Well, according to whom? I took a laxative last night and it kicked in about 2 pm today. It was a news alert that wasn't important to most, but I appreciated the gaseous "heads up"!
Now, Republicans and Democrats alike are using "feckless" to describe their opinion of Obama's handling of the war with ISIS and the Ebola outbreak.
So, to save you time and effort, I have looked the word up for your dining and dancing pleasure:
Feckless: Pronounced feck·less (adjective) - Lacking initiative or strength of character; irresponsible. Synonyms: useless, worthless, incompetent, inept, good-for-nothing.
Well, there it is. I kind of like it. It certainly describes Obama and Congress......
The News As I See It: The White House dismissed former Defense Secretary Leon Panetta's criticisms of Obama, saying he has faced some of the most difficult issues of our time. That would be a great defense if every president didn't face the most difficult issues of their time. Panetta said it seems like Obama has lost his way. Apparently, it’s gotten so bad that this morning Obama was seen asking a White House intruder for directions.
Russian dictator Vladimir Putin has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize. He will not be able to attend the ceremony. That week he will be invading Poland.
Facebook is reportedly thinking of ways to incorporate health into their array of services. Here's how it will work: If you get a cut or a bruise or something, take a picture of it and post it. If it gets more than 100 likes, you're cured.
The New York Post says that Oscar Wilde is responsible for Kim Kardashian’s rise to fame because he was the first person "famous for being famous." When asked her thoughts about it, Kim said, "Is Oscar the one that lives in a trash can?"
This Date In History: 1869;
The 14th president of the United States, Franklin Pierce, died in Concord, New Hampshire.
1871;
The Great Fire of Chicago started. That same day in Peshtigo, Wisconsin, the worst forest fire in U.S. history also began.
1934;
Bruno Hauptmannn was indicted for the murder of Charles Lindbergh's baby.
1945;
President Harry Truman announced the U.S. would share the secret of the atomic bomb only with Great Britain and Canada.
1956;
Don Larsen of the New York Yankees pitched the first and only perfect game in a World Series.
2004;
Martha Stewart began her prison sentence at Alderson Federal Prison Camp.
2005;
A 7.6 magnitude earthquake centered in the Pakistani-controlled part of the Kashmir region killed more than 80,000 and injured 65,000.
Picture Of The Day: Talk about bad timing. The Dallas Weekly came up with one of the most poorly timed covers in memory.
Just as the city is cleaning up and sterilizing the places where Ebola victim Thomas Duncan visited after returning from Liberia, the magazine published online their latest issue, featuring the sure to be infamous cover and headline "Taste of Africa Comes To Dallas."
The issue was not only published online, but an email blast was sent out announcing it. That email went out on September 25, and was also tweeted from the Magazine's account.
Obviously the issue was designed and scheduled before news broke of the Dallas Ebola victim. Duncan arrived in Dallas on the September 20th and went to the hospital on the same day the issue went out. He was not diagnosed until five days later. Duncan died today.
Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) When Brother Kirt and I were young, we liked to play in the sandbox, but the cat kept covering us up.
2) My friend joined a bridge club. He jumps off next Tuesday. 3) I've been trying to figure out why is there is an expiration date on sour cream. 4) You know you're getting older when you're afraid to cough in an elevator because you're unsure of which end it will come out. 5) When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup and pour slowly so as not to "bruise" the fruit of the vine.....and that's five !
Today's Horoscope: Libra - October 8th: Keep an open mind because you may be getting a compliment from a member of the opposite sex that you may not understand. As long as it does not involve a whip, handcuffs and a gerbil, go with it. It'll probably be fun. Chance of romance is 44.57 percent. It can be higher if you don't mind the handcuffs.
Birthdays: Emily Blackwell,
physician 1826,
Edward Rickenbacker,
war hero and airline executive 1890,
Juan Perón,
president of Argentina 1895,
Frank Herbert,
writer 1920,
Chevy Chase,
comedian 1943,
R.L. Stine,
writer 1943,
Dennis Kucinich,
political figure 1946,
Sigourney Weaver,
actress 1949,
Matt Damon,
actor 1970.
The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: Two male friends are out golfing one Saturday afternoon. After finishing one hole, they wait for the two women who are ahead of them at the next hole to finish. They wait a few minutes, but soon get irritated at the amount of time the women are taking to play the hole.
One of the men decides that enough is enough. He tells his friend, "I'm going to go up there and tell those two to hurry up!"
He starts walking towards the women but after getting halfway there, he returns to his friend.
His friend asks, "What's wrong?" He says, "I can't go over there. One of those women is my wife and the other is my mistress." His friend tells him, "That's okay, I'll go talk to them."
He too starts walking towards the women but after getting halfway there, he too returns to his friend. He says, "Small world....."
Two old ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.
One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me. I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is."
Her friend glared at her for at least three minutes. She just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"
The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A guy is sitting alone in a bar nursing his drink. The bartender is at the other end of the bar cleaning a glass. The guy suddenly hears a little whisper of a voice that says, "Nice hat." He looks around but he’s the only one nearby. He thinks nothing of it and keeps drinking.
A few minutes later he hears this same voice, "Nice shirt." Now he’s getting a little paranoid because there’s still no one else in the bar. He calls the bartender over and orders another drink. Several minutes later he hears the voice say, "Nice tie." He just about loses it.
He calls the bartender over and says, "Man, I'm going crazy! I keep hearing voices!" The bartender asks, "What are they saying?" The guys says, "Nice hat, nice shirt, nice tie." The bartender says, "Ah, it’s the peanuts. They’re complimentary."
A group of nuns are lined up to confess to the priest. The first nun says, "Father, I have sinned. I looked at a man naked." The priest says, "Put holy water on your eyes and say 10 hail Marys."
The next nun comes up and says, "Father, I have sinned. I touched a naked man in a sexual manner." The priest says, "Was your hands in holy water and say 20 hail Marys."
The third nun approaches the priest and is about to speak when is a clamoring from the back of the church. Another nun comes running in going, "Wait!"
The priest says, "What’s wrong?!" The nun replies, "I need to gargle the holy water before Sister Nancy sticks her ass in it."
That's it for today, my little love bugs. Remember, do not allow tequila to be your downfall. The worm does not justify the hangover. It's time to head over to AREA 51 for happy hour. See 'ya there!
More on Friday.
Stay Tuned !
