An investigative report published this weekend accuses Obama of lying to Americans about how Osama bin Laden was killed in 2011. Pulitzer prize-winning journalist Seymour Hersh claims Obama's narrative of what went down on May 2 four years ago as well as the events leading up to it were false.
In his report he cites an anonymous intelligence official who he claims was "knowledgeable about the initial intelligence about bin Laden's presence in Abbottabad." He also gathered his information from sources inside Pakistan, two consultants to Special Ops Command and Navy SEALs.
Hersh alleges that Pakistan had been holding the terrorist leader prisoner in the compound since 2006 and that the White House was told about his whereabouts by a Pakistani intelligence officer hoping to score the $25 million bounty, which casting doubt on the claim that the U.S. learned the information by interrogating an al-Qaeda follower.
The explosive report also claims there was no dramatic SEAL team firefight involved in bin Laden's killing when they made their move to capture him. The only shots fired were those that killed bin Laden, whom Hersh described as a "feeble, unarmed man."
Hersh further alleges in the report that after he was killed, bin Laden was not buried at sea, but in Afghanistan.
The White House has vehemently denied Hersh's claims.
It's too early to tell if this story is credible, but Hersh is a well respected journalists. We'll soon see if the media gets on top of this story or just pooh-poohs it ala the current Hillary Clinton scandals.
Either way, its not like Obama has lied to the American public before. Oh, wait, he has..."If you like your insurance, you can keep your insurance. If you like your doctor, you can keep your doctor. Period."
The News As I See It: Congratulations to Obama for visiting South Dakota last week, his 50th state. Way to go, Obie, only 7 more to go.
New York City has a rat problem. There must be three to four million rats running loose, but finally, Mayor de Blasio has declared war on rats. Here's what he's going to do. He's going to bring in more coyotes. No, not the two legged Mexican smugglers, the four legged variety
The New York rats are not regular rats. They're enormous, and they're brazen. They have to bait the rat traps with lasagna.
This Date In History: 1858;
Minnesota became the 32nd state in the United States.
1894;
The Pullman Strike began.
1949;
Siam changed its name to Thailand.
1960;
Israeli agents captured Nazi Adolf Eichmann in Argentina.
1973;
Charges against Daniel Ellsberg for his role in the Pentagon Papers case were dismissed.
1981;
Reggae performer Bob Marley died of cancer in Miami at the age of 36.
1997;
IBM's supercomputer, Deep Blue defeated Garry Kasparov, the reigning world champion, in a six game chess match.
1998;
India set off atomic blasts.
2003;
91% of Lithuanian voters opted to join the European Union—the first former Soviet nation to do so.
Picture Of The Day: There are days when you really have to try hard to stick with your diet.
Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I like to fill my medicine cabinet with marbles before I invite people over.
2) I hate when I wake up in the middle of the night to pee and get a quick drink of water and then accidentally eat a whole pizza. 3) I told my kids to follow their hopes and dreams, as long as their hopes and dreams lead them out of my house before they're 21. 4) Because of Twitter, people use words like Twitterverse, Tweeple, and Twitcide, which makes me want to twoot myself in the face. 5) A month ago I gave my cell number to a beautiful girl. She said "I will text you when I get home". She hasn't called. I think she's homeless.....and that's five !
Today's Horoscope: Taurus - May 11th: Be careful of attractive people of the opposite sex seeking your seeking help. While your intent to help may be honorable, it may cause an argument. I once asked my girlfriend if she wanted help and she changed the subject and asked if a bear shits in the woods. Like I'm some sort of bear scientist or something.
Birthdays: Irving Berlin, songwriter 1888, Dame Margaret Rutherford, actress 1892, Martha Graham, modern dancer, choreographer 1894, Salvador Dali, Spanish surrealist painter 1904, Camilo José Cela, novelist and poet 1916, Richard Feynman, physicist 1918, Natasha Richardson, actress 1963.
The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: A highway patrolman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well. However, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hair in his crotch.
Worried that it might be a second surgery the doctors hadn't told him about, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown up enough so he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable.
Taped firmly across his pubic hair were three wide strips of adhesive tape, the kind that takes everything with it when you pull it off. Written in large red letters across the tape was the sentence, "Get well quick. From the nurse you gave a ticket to last week."
A country boy came home and found his house on fire. He rushed next door, telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry over here. My house is on fire!"
The fireman replied, "Okay! How do we get there?" The country boy says, "Don’t you still have those big red trucks?"
Britney is stranded on an island. Britney is starving. Britney forms a tool out of rocks and sticks. Britney sees a fish. Britney Spears.....
The Hits Just Keep On Coming: Two hookers were riding around town with a sign on top of their car which said, "Two hookers....$50.00"
A policeman, seeing the sign, stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail.
Just at that time, another car passed with a sign saying, "Jesus Saves". They asked the cop why he let the other car go and he said, "Well, that's a little different, it pertains to religion."
So the two women took their sign down and took off. The following day found the same cop in the area when he noticed the two women driving around with a large sign on their car again.
Figuring he had an easy bust, he began to catch up with them when he noticed the new sign which read..."Two Angels Seeking Peter.....$50.00."
A man stumbles up to a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. Noticing the only other man at the bar, he tells the bartender to buy him a drink. The first man then asks, "Where are you from?" The second man replies, "I'm from Miami but my Dad was born in Alabama."
The first man says, "What a coincidence my Dad's from Alabama too! Let's have another round to Alabama." The second man says, "Good idea!" Curious, the first man then asks, "Where in Alabama is your Dad from?" The second man replies, "Tuscaloosa."
The first man says, "I can't believe it. My Dad's from Tuscaloosa too! Let's have another drink to Tuscaloosa." The second man says, "For sure!"
Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks, "What school did you go to?" The second man, "Hialeah High school. I graduated in '64." The first man says, "This is unbelievable! I went to Hialeah High too and graduated in '63!"
About that time, one of the regulars comes in and sits down at the bar. The regular says the bartender, "Hey Tom, what's going on?" The bartender says, "Nothing much, same old thing. Mondays are slow and the Sullivan brothers are drunk again."
That's it for today, my little kumquats. Remember, always look both ways before crossing a woman.
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More on Wednesday.
Stay Tuned !
I congratulate President Obama for his decision to send U.S. Navy Seals into Pakistan to kill bin Laden. A difficult decision at best, knowing that the mission could have failed. That said, Obama did not kill bin Laden. American Navy Seals did. Obama just happened to be the one in office when the CIA and our military finally found the bastard and shot him in the head. This is not an Obama victory. It is an American victory!Obama says that he will not release the Osama bin Laden death photo. After seeing Americans jumping to their deaths from the World Trade Center, I would look forward to seeing the picture. Better yet, they should put them on a set of limited edition commemorative plates. I do want to point out that "buried at sea" means "dumped in the ocean." I think that his could be the best Shark Week ever, but that's just me.....
The News As I See It: There's already been some trouble for Osama bin Laden in the afterlife. There was a mix up and he was greeted by 72 vegans.TheJournal of Animal Ethics says that it’s insulting to call animals "pets" and they should be called "animal companions." They say "pet" is the most insulting thing you could call an animal, except in North Korea, where they’re called "dinner."Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden are dead. If you’re Moammar Gadhafi, living in exile is starting to sound really good.NATO bombed Gadhafi’s compound in Tripoli. The bombing damaged countless antique rugs and curtains, leaving Gadhafi with absolutely nothing to wear.Starbucks is quickly becoming a popular place for thieves to steal iPads, laptops, and purses. It’s pretty crazy. I mean, can you imagine getting robbed while you’re just trying to pay $7 for a cup of coffee.The National Basketball Association has announced that it will use metal detectors at all playoff games to screen for weapons. Coaches have complained that this will eliminate half of the players.
This Date In History: 1626; Peter Minuit landed in Manhattan, which he later bought for $24 worth of cloth and brass buttons. 1886; The Haymarket Square riot broke out as a result of a labor demonstration. 1932; Public Enemy Number One, Al Capone, was jailed for tax evasion.1959; The first Grammy Awards were held. 1961; Civil rights activists, called "freedom riders," left Washington, DC for New Orleans. 1970; Four Kent State University students were shot down by National Guard members during an anti-Vietnam War demonstration. 1998;The Unabomber, Ted Kaczynski, was sentenced to four life terms plus 30 years for his series of bombings that killed three and injured 23.Picture Of The Day: I wonder if bin Laden said to his wife when the Seals arrived, "Maybe it's the Maytag repairman?"
Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I once got in a fight with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well." 2) The sexual position, more commonly known as 69 will now be known as 96. Due to the economy, it now costs more to eat out than it used to. 3) Baby, does this hankerchief smell like chloroform to you? 4) To be sure I always hit the target, I shoot first and call whatever I hit the target. 5) Whoever coined the phrase "Quiet as a mouse" has never stepped on one.....and that's five!Today's Birthday Horoscope: Taurus - May 4th: You may feel like today has started like a horror story, but it will get better around lunchtime. Bones may become a problem for you this week as you take a walk through a cemetery. Screaming may be on the agenda for you, as well. Art is always something you've admired from a distance, but today you may choose to embrace your pinker side. Changing your lifestyle and underwear is always a good start.Birthdays: Horace Mann, educator 1796, Thomas Henry Huxley, biologist 1825, Frederick Church, artist 1826, Hosni Mubarak, president of Egypt 1928, Audrey Hepburn, actress 1929.
The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. The man said, "Officer, I have a good excuse." The officer said, "I don't have time for this right now. Just be quiet. I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back." The man said, "But officer, I just wanted to say..." The oficer said,"And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"A few hours later, the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back." The man said, "Don't count on it, I'm the bridegroom."At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends. She said, "The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical, tell jokes, sing, and stay home at night!" An old granny overheard and spoke up, "Honey, if that's all you want, get a TV!"
The Hits Just Keep On Coming:James stood over his tee shot on the 450 yard 18th hole for what seemed an eternity. He waggled, looked up, looked down, waggled again, but didn't start his back swing. Finally his exasperated partner asked, "What the heck is taking so long?" James replied, "My wife is watching me from the clubhouse balcony. I want to make a perfect shot." His partner said, "Forget it. You don't have a chance in hell of hitting her from here."A first grade class comes in from recess. The teacher asks Alice, "What did you do at recess?" Alice says, "I played in the sand box." Teacher says "That's good. Go to the blackboard, and if you can write 'sand' correctly, I'll give you a fresh-baked cookie." She does and gets a cookie.The teacher asks Billy what he did at recess. Billy says, "I played with Alice in sand box." Teacher says, "Good. If you write 'box" correctly on blackboard, I'll give you a fresh baked cookie." Billy does, and gets a cookie.The teacher then asks Mustaffa Abdul Machmoud what he did at recess. He says, "I tried to play with Alice and Billy, but they threw rocks at me." The teacher says, "Threw rocks at you? That sounds like blatant racial discrimination. If you can go the blackboard and write 'blatant racial discrimination' I'll give you a cookie."
Three little brothers were concerned because they couldn't get anyone to play with them. They decided it was because they had not been baptized and didn't go to Sunday School. So they went to the nearest church. Only the janitor was there. One little boy said, "We need to be baptized because no one will come out and play with us. Will you baptize us?" The janitor said, "Sure."He took them into the bathroom and dunked their heads in the toilet bowl, one at a time. Then he said, "Now go out and play." When they got outside, dripping wet, one of them asked, "What religion do you think we are?" The oldest one said, "We're not Catholic, because they pour the water on you."The middle brother said, "We're not Babtists, because they dunk all of you in the water and we're not Methodists, because they just sprinkle you."The littlest one said, "Didn't you smell that water!" The oldest boy said, "Yeah! What do you think that means?" The littlest one said, "I think it means we're Pisscopalians."That's it for today, my little orange blossoms. Remember, if at first you don't succeed, then skydiving is not for you! It's hump day and chances are that I'll be in AREA 51 by happy hour. More on Friday.Stay Tuned !
What else can be said? Words that come to mind have been already expressed by millions all across America and the rest of the world upon hearing that Osama Bin Laden had been killed by Navy Seals in Pakistan. The main thought that I had a upon hearing the news was that a message has been sent all across the world that America, when provoked, will come after you and sooner or later, you will pay the price.It's been too long since America rose like a tiger to smite a murderer and aggressor like Bin Laden. It is my sincere hope that would be terrorists around the world have gotten a distinct and clear message that we will respond to whatever aggression that is thrust on the United States. God Bless America!
A 37-year-old-woman was arrested in the Florida Keys last week after she crashed into the back of a pick-up truck. While the news of someone being arrested in the Keys is not headline news, this particular arrest was of particular interest to me since I used to spend quite a bit of time there.No, the woman wasn't on her cellphone and she wasn't texting, either. The Florida Highway Patrol says the woman was driving while shaving, uh....driving while shaving her....uh, "bikini area." Well, that's what the cops called it.Florida Highway Patrol officers said that the ex-husband was actually doing the steering -- from the passenger seat, of course. Officers said they determined that in addition to this bit of "landscaping" behind the wheel, the woman was already driving with a suspended license, just one day after she was convicted of driving under the influence.The woman and her ex-husband reportedly drove another half-mile before being pulled over. The officer explained, "She said she was meeting her boyfriend in Key West and wanted to be ready for the visit." Hah! I knew there was a logical explanation.Although the name and photo of the woman was released by CBS affiliate WFOR, I don't feel it will serve any real purpose to display it. I can tell you that, back in the day, the motto in the Keys was "Go ugly, early." Roughly translated, it means there are many beautiful people in the Keys, but most are either with partners or are quickly taken up. If you haven't found yourself an ugly one early, chances are you'll end up by yourself.
As an afterthought, you, yourself, may be the one that has been chosen under the "Go ugly, early" theme.
The News As I See It: America is fascinated by royal weddings because there’s no monarchy in the United States. The closest we could get would be if Larry King married Queen Latifah.Former Sarah Palin son-in-law LeviJohnston is now writing a book about the Palin family. He's not writing it himself. He's using a ghost moron. Levi and the publisher already have a title worked out for the book. It’s called "I Need Money" by Levi Johnston."After releasing his birth certificate, President Obozo said, "There's work to be done, there are real problems in this country, and we don't have time for this silliness." Then he and Michelle got on a plane and flew to Chicago to tape an episode of Oprah.The United States is sending its most powerful drone to Libya. That's a long trip for Joe O'Biden. This Date In History: 1885; Good Housekeeping magazine went on sale for the first time. 1939; Lou Gehrig established a new major-league baseball record when he played his 2,130th consecutive game. It would take another 57 years before Cal Ripken, Jr., broke it. 1945; The Soviet Union announced the fall of Berlin. 1955; Tennessee Williams won the Pulitzer Prize in Drama for Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.1969; The British ocean liner Queen Elizabeth II departed on her maiden voyage to New York. 1994; Nelson Mandela was victorious in South Africa’s first multiracial election. 1997; The Labour Party’s Tony Blair became Prime Minister of Britain, ending 18 years of conservative rule. At 44, he was the youngest prime minister in 185 years.Picture Of The Day: The best picture I know of to show America's heart and courage. Well worth more than a thousand words.
Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) The reason that it's so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking is because those men already have boyfriends. 2) I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen." 3) Impotence is nature's way of saying "No hard feelings". 4) I once saw six men kicking and punching my mother-in-law. My neighbor said, "Are you going to help?" I said "No, six should be enough." 5) Alcohol doesn't solve any problems...but then again, neither does milk.....and that's five!Today's Birthday Horoscope: Taurus - May 2nd: Your aim to drink eight glasses of water today may come crashing down on you when you're stuck in traffic later this week. The week may start well, but fall into sharp decline later on Saturday. An email may arrive in your mailbox today informing you that either you've won a competition or someone in the office loves you. I'm guessing it's the latter and it's probably Miss Crabtree in accounting.Birthdays: Alessandro Scarlatti, composer 1660, Catherine the Great, czarina of Russia (1762–96) 1729, Elijah J. McCoy, inventor 1843, Theodor Herzl, Zionist 1860, Baron Manfred von Richthofen also known as The Red Baron, World War I fighting ace and aviator 1892, Benjamin Spock, pediatrician 1903.The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: A girl from the South and a girl from the West Coast were seated side by side on an airplane. The girl from South, being friendly and all said, "So, where ya'll from?" The West Coast girl said, "From a place where they know better than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence." The girl from the South, sat quietly for a few moments and then replied, "So, where ya'll from....bitch?" Down south, Bubba called his attorney and asked, "Is it true they're suing the cigarette companies for causing people to get cancer?" His attorney said, "Yes, Bubba, it's true." Bubba said, "And now someone is suing those fast food restaurants for making them fat and clogging their arteries with all those burgers and fries?" His attorney replied, "Sure is, Bubba."
Bubba asked, "And that lady sued McDonald's for millions when she was given that hot coffee that she ordered?" The attorney said, "Yep." Bubba went on, "And that basketball player that sued that university when he graduated and still couldn't read?" The attorney answered, "That's right, Bubba. Why are you asking?" Bubba said, "Well, I was thinking. Can I sue Budweiser for all those ugly women I slept with?"
The Hits Just Keep On Coming: My thanks to my pal Pat in the U.K. for her contribution to today's stories.A young mother paying a visit to a doctor friend and his wife made no attempt to restrain her five-year-old son, who was ransacking an adjoining room. But finally, an extra loud clatter of bottles did prompt her to say, "Doctor, I hope you don't mind Johnny being in there." The doctor calmly replied, "No, he'll quiet down when he gets to the poisons."A woman went to her doctor for a follow-up visit after the doctor had prescribed testosterone for her. She was a little worried about some of the side effects she was experiencing and said, "Doctor, the hormones you've been giving me have really helped, but I'm afraid that you're giving me too much. I've started growing hair in places that I've never grown hair before."The doctor reassured her, "A little hair growth is a perfectly normal side effect of testosterone. Just where has this hair appeared?" The lady replied, "On my balls, which is something else I want to talk to you about."A plastic surgeon invented a radical new face lift procedure and was explaining it to a prospective patient. He told her, "I'll install a special screw in the top of your skull. Your hair will cover it so it will be unnoticed. Whenever you need a little tuck, we'll just tighten the screw a little and the wrinkles will disappear!"The woman was enthused and told the doctor to go ahead with it. The surgery was a resounding success, and the woman went home happy. A few months later, the woman returned in a great state of agitation. She pointed to her face and said, "Just look at these bags under my eyes!" The surgeon looked at her closely and said, "Those aren't bags under your eyes, they're your tits and if you keep messing around with that screw, pretty soon you're going to have a goatee!"That's it for today, my little munchkins. Remember, a positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. More on Wednesday.Stay Tuned !
