Shades Of Simon & Garfunkel: See Obama And Julio Down By The Schoolyard

As a journalist, there are times that one has writer's block or for some reason cannot come up with a subject that motivates words. Fortunately, when occasions like this occur, there's always something or someone who charges out of the proverbial woodwork and provides fodder for the subject of the day.

Yesterday, Obama was stumping for his stimulus package in Fort Meyers. Florida and held a town hall meeting. Members of the audience were given the opportunity to ask Obama different questions. Although Obama has been taking lessons from handlers at the Westminster Dog Show on how to handle and muzzle Vice President Joe Biden, he had not yet taken classes on how to handle stray democrats.

Meet Julio Osequeda, a living example of the Peter Principle (The Peter Principle is the principle that "In a Hierarchy Every Employee Tends to Rise to His Level of Incompetence."). Osequeda, ostensibly a college student, is studying communications and wants to be either a broadcaster or a DJ, tantamount to having the desire to be either the CEO or the mail clerk of a large corporation.

I have to admit that I felt sorry for Obama, who must have been horrified by Mr. Osequeda's blithering and he must have had visions of millions of Joe Biden clones running amok in future town meetings. I thought he handled the situation quite well as my first reaction would have been to react like Archie Bunker who would have lovingly said to Edith, "Stifle!"

Deep in my heart, I knew that I was not the only person flabbergasted by the intellect of Julio Osequeda and immediately went to You Tube confident that someone had posted a video of this village idiot in action. While searching successfully for the video, a commercial for Cash4Gold came on the television and I thought, since I'm already on You Tube......

In case you haven't seen the commercial previously, let me begin by telling you that the market is full of predatory, unscrupulous gold dealers who are making bad commercials as quickly as they can, hoping to make money on the less fortunate. This commercial, in particular, is so cheap and badly made that it appears (and I'd bet on it) that the owner is using his repulsive wife and daughter in the commercial.

The commercial states that the company has a fast and safe (?) way to change "your broken or unwanted (?) gold jewelry (pronounced by 'jew-ler-ree' by Mrs. Cash4Gold) for cash (as opposed to subway tokens?)." SAFE? They instruct you to put your gold in an envelope and mail it to them! Wow! No chance that it could be lost in the mail or stolen, right? As I suspected, this video was also on You Tube and and I offer it to you for your thoughts and opinions.

An Open Message To Nadya Suleman, the single, unemployed, food stamp recipient, mother of newly born octuplets and six other children: If you can't feed them, don't breed them. We're in a recession and I can't afford to support you.

This Date In History: 1858; St Bernadette has her first vision of the Virgin Mary in Lourdes 1929; The Lateran Treaty creates the state of the Vatican City and guaranteed to the Holy See full and independent sovereignty. 1956; Cold War spies Guy Burgess and Donald Maclean reappear in Moscow after having disappeared for five years. 1963; Poet Sylvia Plath commits suicide in London. 1975; Margaret Thatcher becomes leader of the Conservative Party.

Picture Of The Day: You may have surmised that I really like landscapes and have always been fascinated by the breathtaking beauty of America. I think that the northwest has some of the most beautiful scenery, but America as a whole really has a lot to offer from coast to coast. I made myself a promise years ago that I would not visit any other countries until I have completely seen the entire United States. Aside from Canada, Mexico (while stationed in the U.S. Army at Fort Sam Houston, Texas) and the Bahamas (it's just too easy from Miami, especially when decided on at 3:00 A.M. while in the company of a lovely lady), I have kept that promise.

Birthdays: Thomas Alva Edison, American inventor, whose development of a practical electric light bulb, electric generating system, sound-recording device, and film projector had profound effects on the shaping of modern society 1847, William Henry Fox Talbot, pioneer of photography 1800, Vivian Fuchs, geologist and Antarctic explorer 1908, Joseph Mankiewicz, Hollywood director 1909, Faruk I, Egyptian king 1920, Mary Quant, fashion designer 1934.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

A very attractive young lady was sitting in a fine restaurant one night. Waiting for her date as she was, she wanted to make sure everything was perfect. So, as she bends down in her chair to get the mirror from her purse, she accidentally breaks wind quite loudly just as the waiter walks up.

Sitting up straight now, embarrassed and red faced, knowing everyone in the place heard her, turns to the waiter and demands "Stop That!" The waiter looks at her dryly and says "Sure lady, which way was it headed?"

An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset. Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was another and stayed put. He suddenly soiled his bed and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational. In a complete loss of composure he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.

A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to get the unknown things off, and ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet. As the drunk stood there, unsteady on his feet, staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard, walked up and asked, "What the heck is going on here?" The drunk, still staring down replied, "I think I just beat the shit out of a ghost."

That's it for today my little sweet peas. More on Friday.

Stay Tuned

It Really Is Time For A Change !

BUY AMERICAN - It's a term that I've spoken about before. The American public, already suffering from cashtration*, will be learning more about this term which has been watered down or removed from the Senate version of the stimulus package approved over the weekend. Why? Because it's illegal for the United States government to purchase only U.S. manufactured products, i.e., protectionism. *cashtration (n):The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

This comes as a result of idiotic, slanted trade treaties and agreements made by the members of the U. S. Congress, obviously affected by the bozone layer*. The European Union (EU) sent a letter to the U.S. Government stating that if the stimulus packaged contained those protectionist terms, the EU would sue. *Bozone (n): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

The fear that most "experts" profess is that protectionism would cause a catastrophic trade war that would hurt the U.S. economy even more. The truth is, in fact, that Canada, Europe, Japan, South Korea and China, to name a few, all have stricter importing laws than the United States. As always, U. S. exporters have problems introducing their products to these nations and our lawmakers says they can't (or won't) include a BUY AMERICAN provision in the stimulus package.

Succinctly, my answer to this is BULLSHIT! While it may be illegal for the U.S. Government to revert to "protectionism", it is quite legal for citizens of the United States to BUY AMERICAN, when possible. There's no doubt in my mind that although the squabbling, gridlocked, do-nothing Congress cannot (or will not) help American manufacturers and employers, it's citizens are not bound by any agreements and can help themselves by BUYING AMERICAN products. This, in turn, may spur other countries with unfair trade restrictions to rethink and soften their positions.

In the interim, Obama has come up with a great new plan to come up with monies to help spur and re-ignite the American economy. He's going to ask all his cabinet nominees and other appointees to file and pay their back taxes.

Personally, I think Obama and all the other candidates should give back some of the millions of dollars in political contributions that they acquired during their campaigna to reduce the size of the stimulus package. What does become of all those unspent contributions? Methinks they found people, places and things to spend it on. Then again, that's just me.

While many Americans receiving any stimulus checks will obviously be helped in this time of need, I fear that ultimately, mass cases of intaxication* will remain on the minds of America long after the stimulus checks have been spent. *Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

The House and Senate now have to reconcile the stimulus package and we'll see if the they are willing and able to cut the pork out of the stimulus or will it be spending as usual. Time will tell.

If you missed the Budweiser Shootout Saturday Night, you missed a knock down, drag-'em-out race that was not decided until the final lap. Running sometimes three abreast, during the final segment there were crashes galore as each driver seemingly was unwilling to give any ground to the other. Being a non-points, high paying race, it was a kamikaze run all the way. Chevrolet driver Kevin Harvick won on the last lap followed by Jamie McMurray in a Ford and new team owner and driver Tony Stewart in a Chevrolet. The Daytona 500 this Sunday should be a barn burner.

Don't Forget that my cat Possum S. Hemmingway (aka Shithead) is running a feature each friday called Pets Of The Week. Send me your candid pictures of your pets so we can show them. If you dont have any pets, dress up your spouse or special someone and we'll put 'em in anyway. Email me your pics at jimsulliv3@aol.com .

This Date In History:1567; Lord Henry Stuart Darnley, second husband of Mary, Queen of Scots, is murdered on this night. 1900; The Davis Cup is first won by its donator Dwight F. Davis and his doubles partner in Brookline, Massachusetts. 1916; Conscription introduced in Britain at the height of World War I. 1950; Senator Joseph McCarthy claims that the US State Department has been infiltrated by Communists, thus initiating the era of McCarthyism "witch-hunts.

Picture Of The Day: This National Geographic Picture was taken at Rondeau Provincial Park, Ontario, Canada. The image shows a fight between a redheaded woodpecker and a yellow-shafted northern flicker over a nest hole. The redheaded woodpeckers tried to chase away the intruding flickers but after this encounter, the fight was over. The flicker managed to grab the redheaded by its tongue and force it all the way down to the ground. Both birds spiraled while falling to the ground. It must have been painful as the redheaded gave up after this clash. Kinda reminds 'ya of the Denocrats and Republicans, doesn't it?

Birthdays: William Henry Harrison, ninth president of the United States 1773, Anthony Hope, novelist and playwright 1863, Amy Lowell, American poet and critic 1874, Alban Berg, Austrian composer 1885, Ronald Colman, film actor 1891, Dean Rusk, American educator and politician 1909.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

Earl and Bubba, two good ole boys from Dixie are quietly sitting in a boat fishing, chewing and drinking beer when suddenly Bubba says, "I think I'm going to divorce my wife - she hasn't spoke to me in over 2 months." Earl spits, sips his beer and says, "You better think it over - women like that are hard to find."

A week after their marriage, the newlyweds from Dixie, Ed and Wanda, paid a visit to their Doctor. Ed said, "Doc, you ain't gonna believe this, but my thing's turnin purple."The Doctor said, That's unusual, let me examine you." The doctor took a look. Sure enough, Ed's "thing" really was purple.

The Doctor turned to Wanda and asked, "Are you using the diaphragm that I prescribed for you?" Wanda said, "Yep, shore am." The Doctors said, "And what kind of jelly are you using with it?" Wanda said, "Grape."

Down south, Bubba called his attorney and asked, "Is it true they's suin' them cigarette companies fer causin' people to git cancer?" His attorney said, "Yes, Bubba, sure is true." Bubba asks, "And now someone is suin' them fast food restaurants fer makin' them fat an' cloggin' their arteries with all them burgers an' fries, is that true?" The attorney said, "That's true too.

Bubba says "And that lady sued McDonald's for millions when she was gave that hot coffee that she ordered?" The attorney replied, "That's right, but why are you asking?" Bubba says. "Well, I was thinkin' . . . kin I sue Budweiser fer all them ugly women I slept with?"

That's it for today my little tater tots. More on Wednesday.

Stay Tuned !

It's A Good Day For Gnus - Please Dress Accordingly !

Nascar begins the 2009 racing season at the Daytona International Speedway Saturday night with the running of the Budweiser Shootout. A record 28 cars will start the race which begins at 8:00 p.m. on the Fox Channel. Dale Earnhardt Jr., is the defending champion of this race and will start the race from the ninth position. The race should be exciting and is the start of Speedweeks at Dayona culminating with the Daytona 500 on February 15th.

If you've never watched Nascar stock car racing, this week and next week will be a great and exciting opportunity to see how it works. Imagine, if you will, 43 cars racing three abreast, on a 2.5 mile banked super speedway at speeds of over 200 miles per hour. I assure you that you'll find the race very exciting.

In The News: Barry Bonds is in court again facing perjury charges that he lied about taking steroids. Despite the fact that his head and body have obviously grown since his younger playing days, he insists he has never "knowingly" taken steroids. Test results and sworn testimonies attesting to the fact that Bonds did indeed take steroids are now in jeopardy as there is a chance that the judge will not let the evidence be allowed. Another fine example of the government in action. I guess it's the new fashion that seems to be sweeping america.

Speaking of useless boobs, A woman named Sheyla Herschey claims to have the world's largest boobs measuring an astounding 38kkk. While I appreciate the novelty of those bad boys, Ms. Herschey will learn that sooner or later, gravity works and methinks she'll be wheeling those puppies around in a wheelbarrow in her later years.

As for boobs, the basic requirement that most men hope for is that women have 'em. It's not that we're culling tomatos here ladies. If you got 'em, you're in! Personally, I don't like implants unless they're medically indicated. Too much unnecessary cosmetic surgery is dangerous and stupid.

Remember to send me your pet pictures for Possum's Journal who is featuring "Pets Of The Week" every Friday. The pics can be of anything you like and if you don't have a pet, disguise your spouse or mate and send one anyway. Send the pics to jimsulliv3@aol.com and you can see Possum's post to today at http://pshemmingway.blogspot.com/

This Date In History: 1820; Largely through the work of the American Colonization Society, the first organized immigration of freed American slaves departs from New York for Sierra Leone, West Africa. 1899; The Spanish-American War peace treaty is ratified by a margin of just one vote after an intense fight in the United States Senate.

1918; Victory for the Suffragettes as the Representation of the People Act gives all women over 30 and all men over 21 the vote. 1952; King George VI dies and is succeeded by Elizabeth II.

Picture Of The Day: There are very few days that I draw a blank when searching for pictures, but today is one of them. Most of today's pictures are shots that caught my eye as I was surfing through my portfolio. I hope you like them.

Birthdays: Queen Anne, British monarch 1665, Henry Irving, actor 1838, Babe Ruth, American baseball player (1895)Babe Ruth, American baseball player 1895, François Truffaut, French film director 1932.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy looking like he'd just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is bruised and he is walking with a limp. Sean the bartender says, "What happened to you?" Paddy says, "Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight." Sean says, "That little shit, O'Conner ? He couldn't do that to you, he must of had something in his hand."

Paddys says, "That he did. A shovel is what he had, and a terrible licking he gave me with it" Sean says, "You should have defended yourself, didn't you have something in your hand?" Paddy says, "That I did. It was Mrs. O'Conner's right breast, and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight."

While attending a marriage seminar on communication, Wally and his wife Carolyn listened to the instructor declare, "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other." He addressed the men, "Can you describe your wife's favorite flower?"

Wally leaned over, touched Carolyn's arm gently and whispered, "Pillsbury All-Purpose, isn't it honey?" And thus began Wally's life of celibacy....

A woman walked into a jewelry store and walked to the bracelet display. She saw an exquisite piece she liked and when she leaned over to see the bracelet more closely, she inadvertently passed gas. Embarrassed, she looked around quickly to see if anyone had heard the unfortunate event and when she turned around, a handsome young salesman approached her.

In a nervously attempt to diffuse the situation, she pointed to the bracelet and said to the salesman, "Young man, how much is that bracelet." The salesman replied, "Well lady, if you farted when you saw the bracelet, you're gonna shit when you hear the price."

That's it for today my little twenty-four carat wind passers. Have a safe and great weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !

And The Nominees For The Best Supporting Cabinet Position are.....Dwindling !

The GOP has elected Michael Steele, the former lieutenant governor of the State of Maryland, as it's new chairman. Steele is a Black man and I guess the Republicans figured, "The democrats got them one, so let's get us one." Michael Steele happens to be articulate, talented and well qualified for the job, but if I were him, I would have never accepted the position. If the republicans were really looking to set a precedent, they should have elected Mr. Steele before it became fashionable to politically adopt a black family.

You can probably count the number of Black republicans on your hands, but if the the GOP wants to expand their base, they will need to look at Blacks and Latins as a source. I'm not real sure how many they will find, especially when in a recent interview, Mr. Steele said, "I'm looking for hip-hop republicans as well as Frank Sinatra republicans." Huh?......, or as we say in the vernacular, "say what" ?

Nadya Suleman is an unemployed, thirty-three year old single woman who already had six children when she recently gave birth to octuplets. Only days after giving birth, Ms. Suleman has hired a publicist to sort through offers she has received because of the notoriety of the octuplets. She's gone as far as stating that she wants Oprah to interview her first and is asking $2,000,000.00 for the interview. This delusional "mother" says she wants a career as an "expert" on being a mother.

What is wrong with this picture? I have no problem with invitro fertilization for women who have problems conceiving children. I have major problems with opportunistic stupid people with illusions of grandeur being allowed to procreate.

Tom Daschle, Barack Obama's nominee for Secretary of Health and Human Services (formerly known as Health, Education and "Welfare"), has withdrawn his name from nomination. I can't imagine why, with the exception of the fact that he failed to claim $120,000 in income on his tax returns (aka income tax evasion). Oh, and although he's not registered as a lobbyist, he also receives over 2.1 million per year as for his opinions from a lobbyist firm that derives it's income from the same drug companies that Daschle would have overseen. It's nice to see "change" really means "business as usual".

This is the third Obama nominee that has had income tax violations and the second two to withdraw at a time when proposed bailout spending approaches one trillion dollars. If Obama cannot even ascertain if his own political nominees have evaded paying income tax or failed to pay owed taxes, methinks we're in a world of hurt. If we need to find new monies in order to fund proposed spending, I think a good source for coming up with these funds would be to audit every politician in Washington instead of asking the American public to pay for it.

This Date In History: 1789; George Washington becomes the first president of the United States. 1929; Britain’s first Green Belt area was approved on land 5 miles from Hendon, Middlesex. 1945; The Yalta Conference convenes with Franklin Roosevelt, Winston Churchill, and Joseph Stalin to establish the formulation of Allied military strategy in World War II. 2003; The Federal Republic of Yugoslavia votes to disband itself, and is renamed Serbia and Montenegro.

Picture Of The Day: Since changing the financial landscape seems to be the theme of the nation, I thought I'd use landscapes as today's theme. These pictures are from National Geographic and are largely from the Grand Canyon area. Mountains, canyons and caves have always intrigued me (no Freudian slip intended) so I selected these pictures. I hope you enjoy them.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

A man had an appointment to see a urologist who shared an office with several other doctors. The waiting room was the size of a small auditorium, and it was filled with patients. He approached the desk and gave his name to the receptionist, a large, imposing woman who looked like a wrestler. In a very loud voice she repeated the man's name, then said, "Yes, I see your name here. You want to see the doctor about IMPOTENCE, right?

The man was stunned and embarrassed, but recovered his composure sufficiently to reply in an equally loud voice, "No, I've come to inquire about a sex change operation and I'd like the same doctor who did yours!!"

A Georgia man got in his pickup and drove to a nearby cattle ranch and knocked at the door. A young boy, about 9, opened the door. The Man said, "Is your Dad home?" The boy said, "No sir, he ain't. He went into town." The man asked, "is your Mom here?" The boy replied, "No, sir, she ain't here neither. She went into town with Dad." The farmer then asked, "How about your brother, Bubba? Is he here?" The boy said, "He went with Mom and Dad."

The man stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other and mumbling to himself. The boy asked, "Is there anything I can do fer ya? I knows where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one. Or maybe I could take a message for Dad. The man said, "Well, I really wanted to talk to your Dad. It's about your brother Bubba getting my daughter pregnant."The boy considered for a moment. "You would have to talk to Pa about that, but if it helps you any, I know that Pa charges a $500 stud fee for the bull, but, I really don't know how much he gets fer Bubba."

That's it for today my little diamond rock collectors. More on Friday.

Stay Tuned !

After A Fine Super Bowl Weekend, It's Back To Work !

Congratulations to the Super Bowl winning Pittsburgh Steelers, who defeated the Arizona Cardinals 27 to 23. Probably one of the most exciting Super Bowls I've ever seen, the game was a toss-up until the final seconds. I thought that Jennifer Hudson's rendition of "The Star Spangled Banner" was excellent and I was very pleased to see Captain Sully Sullenberger and the rest of the crew of the U.S. Airway jet that successfully landed in the Hudson River.

I always get a kick out of the phrase "World Champions" though, especially since it's a closed professional sport and limited to the "world" of the United States. Nevertheless, it's a great win and I enjoyed the game. As for the commercials, I wasn't impressed. There were a few with good merit and probably the best ones were the Budweiser and Pepsi commercials, but previous years commercials were a lot more creative. Remember the Budweiser frogs and the lizards? Now those were commercials!

It felt good to get out to AREA 51 Friday evening and see what's going on in the local circles. As is my wont, I ended up playing dominoes and poker later in the evening and had a great time. It was quite cold when I headed for home, but the trip was good and it was great to see the paper boy again.

The current comments about Jessica Simpson's weight is beginning to irritate me. First and foremost, the ones that are making the comments couldn't hold a candle to her at any time or weight in their lives. We all have those years in our lives when we are young and handsome, but life evolves and we get older and have a tendency to add a few pounds. Methinks that if we were to show pictures of the detractors, we'd see a bunch of misfits who probably need to take a look in their own mirrors before casting stones. Personally, although she has noticeably put on some weight, I think she looks fine and there will always be room in Jimmy's AREA 51 for her!

Possum's Journal kicked off the "Pets Of The Week" Friday and will continue this feature every Friday. If you have a picture of your pet that you would like to share please email it to me at JimSulliv3@aol.com

CNN is reporting that California is just about broke and that doesn't surprise me a bit. That state is and always has been a magnet for the hard of understanding, pseudo-intellectuals, liberals and of course, most of Mexico. Guess what kids, contrary to the words of the anointed one, there is no free lunch. If you want to play, you have to pay.

CNN, a liberal news magazine whose obvious presidential bias left brown stains on their lips, can be quick to abandon it's fellow believers when the going gets tough and there's news dollars to reap.

I'm not usually one to recommend movies, but I recently saw two films that restore my faith in filmmakers. I dislike movies with implausible scenes such as one man defeating thirty other men with machine guns or car crashes involving 432 cars, half of which either explode or rollover and the hero never seems to be injured or killed.The two films (now on cable) were Fracture, a suspense film starring Anthony Hopkins and A Song For Bobby Long, starring John Travolta and Scarlett Johansson. Both films were excellent and I think you will enjoy them.

Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow and went back onto his lodge and this means six more weeks of winter. Ratatouille, on the other hand, grabbed a couple of Buds and said, "piss on winter, I can handle it." What a guy!

This Date In History: 1848; The treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo is signed ending the Mexican-American War. 1943; German forces surrender following the successful Soviet siege of Stalingrad in World War II. 1979 Punk rocker and Sex Pistol, Sid Vicious, dies of a heroin overdose in New York.

Picture Of The Day Watching the Super Bowl and the Budweiser commercials reminded me that I have a few Budweiser pictures of my own and I thought I'd share them today.

Birthdays: Fritz Kreisler, Austrian-American violinist 1875, Fritz Kreisler, Austrian-American violinist 1875, Jascha Heifetz, Russian-American violinist 1901, Jascha Heifetz, Russian-American violinist 1901, Stan Getz, American saxophonist 1927.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

Two 80 year old men sat talking over the weather and the latest in medical science, and such, when one brings up the latest male medical miracle, Viagra. The other wasn't familiar with Viagra and asked the first man what it was for.The first man said, "It's the greatest thing I've ever known. The Fountain of Youth! Makes you feel like a man of 30." The second then asked, "Can you get it over the counter?" The first man replies, "You probably could, if you take 2 pills."

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.

After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty! One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you." He replied, "My dear, I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."

California vintners in the Napa Valley area, which primarily produce Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir and Pinot Grigio wines, have developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic. It is expected to reduce the number of trips older people have to make to the bathroom during the night. The new wine will be marketed as "Pino More".

That's it for today my little wine sippers. More On Wednesday.

Stay Tuned !

As Trini Lopez's Song Goes, "If I Had A Hammer" (I'd Bust It Upside Some Politicians' Heads) !

So, do you really want to resolve America's economic woes? The government doesn't have an inkling as to how to resolve the problem and never has. The so-called stimulus plan contains so much pork that it oinks when you read it. The 647 page document, doubtfully read by most members of Congress, is a harder read than "War and Peace."

Will spending billions for dollars for such things as the study of contraception, the sodding of the National Mall, the national endowment of the arts, building repairs for the Smithsonian and greenhouse research for NASA and NOAH, jump start the economy? The handing out of checks to people who do not pay federal income taxes is welfare, not a stimulus.

The government is just mortgaging our children and grandchildren's future by printing money as fast as they can. This money is then backed by loans from countries like China who have woes of their own. The buck has to stop sooner or later and woe be unto the people that are stuck with the bill.

If you want to help jump start the economy, you can begin by BUYING AMERICAN. Government and economists say that this is not a good idea because it will cost Americans more money in the long run. Moreover, the government has provisions that it can't even buy American in some cases. So forget about the government coming up with a plan.

If everyone buys American when possible, things will begin to turn around. You might pay a little more at first, but that small increase will be invested into a company that might be paying a higher wage to its workers instead of outsourcing the work to countries like India and China. In turn, that company's success will guarantee the continued employment of the worker who otherwise might be unemployed. This employee, in turn, will go out into the market place and purchase goods and services which will make the economy strong for all. Think about it!

State Farm Insurance has announced that they will no longer write home owners insurance polices in the state of Florida. After asking the Florida government for rate increases of nearly 50% and having the request denied, they announced that it would be cost prohibitive to continue underwriting homeowners policies. The State of Florida needs to tell the blood sucking, pick and choose, State Farm Insurance that if the can't underwrite homeowners insurance, then they will not be allowed to sell any form of insurance in Florida, including car and life insurance policies. If you want to eat your fillet Mignon, you also have to eat your vegetables!

Citi Group, who recently accepted 45 billion dollars in bailout money, had to reject delivery of a 42 million dollar corporate jet after the government found out about it. Talk about a pair of cojones, this is how your hard earned tax dollars are being spent with the useless bailout of banks who, after receiving billions of dollars in aid, continue with business (read corruption) as usual. Uh,...anyone ever heard of transparency and accountability?

Blago's Out! Rod Blagojevich was impeached by the Illinois Senateyesterday and was replaced by Lt. Governor Pat Quinn. Blagojevich's troubles are not over as federal prosecutors are drawing up an indictment against him on corruption charges. Corruption? In Chicago, Illinois? What other politicians are from Illinois?

Stepping Off The Soapbox and slipping into my casual mind, today's Friday and a trip to AREA 51 is in order. It's been too long since I have hung out with my pals and a little rest and recreation sounds like a fine idea.

The Super Bowl is on Sunday and partying will be rampant. Since there's no Florida team playing, I really don't have a preference as to the winner, but my heart always lies with the underdog. The Pittsburgh Steelers are the favored team so I'm going out on a limb and I'll be rooting for the Arizona Cardinals. For you Cardinals fans, here's a cactus!

Possum's Journal features Pets Of The Week today so stop by and visit him. The little guy has been working hard on his journal and with his handicap (he has seven toes on each front paw), it's a bit difficult for him to type. Here's the link: http://pshemmingway.blogspot.com/

This Date In History: 1649; A week after having been found guilty for treason, King Charles I is beheaded. 1826; The Menai Suspension Bridge between Anglesey and North Wales is opened. 1933; Adolf Hitler is named Chancellor of Germany by President Hindenburg. 1948; Indian leader Mohandas Gandhi is assassinated by Nathuram Godse. 1965; Winston Churchill is given a state funeral. 1972; Bloody Sunday sees the shooting of 26 men, 13 fatally, by the British Army in Londonderry following a banned march protesting against internment.

Picture Of The Week: Transparency and Images are today's theme so I thought I'd give you some more serene images to lessen the venomous anger that seems to fill me today. The constant barrage of ridiculous happenings and the stupid people involved in same has me a bit testy. I defintely will be meeting with my advisor, Johnnie Walker Black, in AREA 51 this evening. I got a little goofy with pictures today, but I couldn't decide which ones to post, so I put them all in. As my pal Nancy says, I'm a little eclectic.

Birthdays: My pal and sweetie-pie, Tania. Happy Birthday Baby 19XX, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 32nd President of the United States (1933-1945); elected for an unprecedented four terms, he was one of the 20th century's most skillful political leaders 1882, Gene Hackman, actor 1930, Vanessa Redgrave, actor 1937.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: My thanks to my pal Robin for her contributions to today's stories.

A Mexican, an Iraqi, and a Texas girl are in the same bar. When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, "In Mexico, our glasses are so cheap, we don't need to drink with the same glass twice."

Ahmed, the Iraqi, is so impressed by this that he tosses his glass in the air, pulls out his AK-47 and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, "In Iraq, we have so much sand to make glasses that we don't have to drink from the same glass either."

The Texas girl picks up her beer, downs it in one gulp, pulls out her 45 and shoots the Mexican and the Iraqi. She catches her beer in mid-air, sets it on the bar, orders a refill and says, "In Texas, we have so many illegal aliens, that we don't have to drink with the same ones twice!"

Amazing statistics about the recent presidential inauguration is that 1.5 million people attended the ceremonies and only 1,000 people missed work. As the few attendees that pay federal income taxes prepared their 2008 federal tax returns, one in particular included the following letter:

Enclosed is my 2008 Form 1040, together with payment. Please take note of the attached article from "USA Today" archives. In the article, you will note that the Pentagon paid $171.50 each for hammers and NASA paid $600.00 each for toilet seats. Please find enclosed in this package four toilet seats (value $2,400.00) and six hammers (value $1,029.00). This is in payment for my total tax due of $3,429.00.

Out of a sense of patriotic duty, and to assist in the political purification of our government, I am also enclosing a 15 inch Phillips head screw driver, for which HUD duly recorded and approved a purchase value of $2200, as my contribution to fulfill the Presidential Election Fund option on Form 1040. It has been a pleasure to pay my taxes this year and I look forward to paying them again next year in accordance with officially established government values.

Another satisfied American taxpayer.

That's it for today my little overtaxed and underpaid pals. Have a great and safe weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !

Are You Sure I Sent You That Email Twice?

My sister Jeanne tells me I sometimes send her the same email twice. In fact, I don't remember doing that but she enclosed a list for me to post on my computer screen to remind me of some of the email errors I make.

1. You send me the same e-mail twice.
2. You send me blank e-mail.
3. You send e-mails meant for other people.
4. You send e-mail back to me after I've sent it to you.
5. You forget to attach attachments.
6. You hit "SEND" before you've finished the e-mail.

Memory is a funny thing and my memory isn't quite what it used to be. In a brief moment of clarity, I've come up with a list of some of my current thoughts on life.

1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.
3. I finally got my head together; now my body is falling apart.
4. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...
5. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...
6. All reports are in; life is now officially unfair.
7. If all is not lost, where is it?
8. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
9. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...
1. Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant.
2. I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few...
3. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
4. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
6. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...
5. It's hard to make a come back when you haven't been anywhere.
6. The world beats a path to your door when you're in the bathroom.
7. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.
8. When I'm holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?
8. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...
9. It's not hard to meet expenses... they're everywhere.
2. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
2. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter. I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm here after.

I've spoken to a lot of my lady friends and they seem to agree with sister Jeanne's opinion of my memory, especially when it comes to showing up on time. See for yourself.

Possum S. Hemmingway has created a feature called Pets Of The Week which will feature pictures of your pets and other journalist's pets as well and will be posted on Fridays. If you have any pet pictures, be they spur of the moment , posed, funny or just plain cute, please email them to me at jimsulliv3@aol.com and I'll make sure he gets them. For more information, read Shithead's post (What did you think the "S" was for). Possum's Journal: http://pshemmingway.blogspot.com/

This Date In History: 814; Charlemagne, King of the Franks 768–814 and Holy Roman Emperor 800–814, who united much of western Europe under his rule, dies in Aachen. 1813; Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen is published for the first time.

1866; Scottish explorer David Livingstone embarks on his final expedition in Africa to establish the true source of the Nile. All outside contact with him is lost after he reaches Lake Tanganyika. 1986; The space shuttle Challenger explodes 73 seconds after lift-off at Kennedy Space Center in Florida.

Picture Of The Day: Ok, maybe my memory is not as good as it used to be but my eyes and health make up for it. I still go out and have fun and I remember everything. I also still go out and have fun and I remember everything.

Birthdays: Henry VII (1457-1509), first Tudor King of England (1485-1509) 1457, Anna Ivanovna, Russian empress 1693, Charles George Gordon, British general and colonial administrator 1833, Henry Stanley, Welsh-born US newspaper correspondent and explorer 1841, Jackson Pollock, American artist 1912.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming A bear walks into a bar an says to the bartender, "I would like a bourbon and...... a coke." The bar tender says "What's up with the big pause?" The bear said "I've had them all my life."

A preacher goes into a bar and says "Anybody who wants to go to heaven, stand up." Everybody stands up except for a drunk in the corner. The preacher says "My son, don't you want to go to heaven when you die?" The drunk says "When I die? Sure. I thought you were taking a load up now."

A blonde and a guy are in a bar are watching the TV. There is a news report about a man who threatens to jump off a 5 story building unless the cops give him 3000 dollars. The guy at the bar says to the blonde, "I bet you 50 bucks the guy jumps". The blonde takes the bet, and the guy on the TV ends up jumping. The blonde hands over the $50, but the guy gives it back, saying that he had already seen the guy jump on the earlier showing. The blonde says "Well I saw it too but I didn't think he would jump again."

That's it for today my little poppy seeds. More On Friday.

Stay Tuned !