Monday, October 13, 2008

The Cat's Ass Trophy Is Awarded To AOL !

My Friday sojourn to AREA 51 at Lakes Cafe and Pub was great. Operating only their second week under new ownership, the place was jumping when I arrived. The karaoke show was in full swing and I noticed many new faces among the regular crowd. I'm hoping that the planned changes and renovations go smoothly. As for me, I arrived home around 3:00 am, easily beating the paper boy in the race to my front door.

The Cat's Ass Trophy (Cat) Award: Last week, Jude, author Of My Way Again, nominated those idiots responsible for the discontinuation of AOL Journals. The esteemed judges (my cat Shithead and myself) pored over the nomination for a good thirty seconds before unanimously voting a resounding yes!

Although shutting down AOL Journals may have been a blessing in disguise by way of introducing many AOl journalists to Blogspot, the havoc wreaked on the minds and nerves of all of us is unforgivable. The CAT Award goes to AOL !

ACORN (the Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now), is the nation's largest community organization of low and moderate income families and tries to get low-income people registered to vote. It is now under investigation in thirteen key swing states for voter fraud, a felony offense. Any thoughts?

This Date In History 1775: The Continental Congress authorizes construction and administration of the first American naval force. 1792: In Washington, D.C., the cornerstone of the White House is laid. 1943: Italy, switching allegiances, declares war on Germany. 1964: The Voskhod 1, the first spacecraft to carry a multi-person crew, returns to earth.

Picture Of The Day Today's slideshow continues with the changing leaves of Autumn.

Birthdays: Molly Pitcher, heroine of the American Revolution (1754), Rudolf Virchow, German pathologist (1821), Margaret Thatcher, Britain's first female prime minister (1925), Paul Simon, singer and musician (1941).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming

Barack Obama is out jogging and he passes a young boy selling puppies. "Buy a puppy, Sir?" asks the lad. Obama says, "Oh no, sorry, we already have a cat." The boy says, "But they are Democrat puppies, sir," asserts the enterprising lad. Obama smiles, but again declines. The boy nods and Obama jogs on.

The next day Obama is jogging by the same spot. There again is the boy still trying to sell the puppies. As Obama jogs by, he overhears the youth telling the potential customer, "But sir, these are Republican puppies." Obama stops and says "Young man yesterday you told me those were Democrat puppies, and today you are saying they are Republican puppies?" The child says, "yes sir."

Obama then asks, "Well, if they were Democrat puppies yesterday, how could they be Republican puppies today?" The boy says, "Well sir, since then, they opened their eyes."

John the farmer was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called pullets and eight or ten roosters, whose job was to fertilize the eggs. The farmer kept records and any rooster that didn't perform went into the soup pot and was replaced.

That took an awful lot of his time so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so John could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.

The farmer's favorite rooster was old Butch, a very fine specimen he was, too. But on this particular morning John noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all! John went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. But, to Farmer John's amazement, Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

John was so proud of Butch, he entered him in the county fair. Butch became an overnight sensation among the judges. The result: the judges not only awarded Butch the "No Bell Piece Prize" but they also awarded him the "Pullet Surprise" as well.

Clearly Butch was a Politician in the making! Who else but a politician could figure out how to sneak up on the populace and screw them when they weren't paying attention?

Authors Note: Anyone having problems understanding today's hits, please repeat the following words slowly and then repeat them rapidly several times: I AM SO WE TODD IT !

That's it for today, my little chick peas. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !


MISSY said...

A well deserved award.


Sandra said...

I was thinking you could have put McCain was out jogging but then I guess not.
Love the slide show

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

Excellent choice for CAT award. Maybe you need an anal, I mean annual award, and AOL shutting down Journals would be a contender.

Rose said...

Excellent choice for the Cat's Ass Trophy Award@

I also liked the "No Bell Piece Prize" LOL

Glad you had a nice weekend. I'm so bored up here in my neck of the woods!

Hugs, Rose

garnett109 said...

aol keeps asking me for my billing info. lmao!

Tressa Bailey said...

Good job handing out the awards there...

loved the jokes and I needed a smile today!

Honey said...

good AOL

made myself a "NEW" blog since i some how messed my old one


Myra said...

YES...AOL deserves the CAT award for sure!

Paula said...

Yep that rooster deserved that award. Good jokes as always.

Julia said...

I have lots of thought on that Acorn and you know exactly which ones I bet. They should all, and I mean ALL be in prison. Loved the joke and I am happy you have your photo's back. I missed them.

Pamela said...

Loved the puppy joke! Good choice on the award, too! Great pictures! I need to learn how to do that.
Hugs, Pam

Jude said...

I know a few of those politicians you referred to in the last joke. Good analogy. It fits. Love the music by the way, especially Michael B. (I won't even attempt to spell his last name.)