Wednesday, October 29, 2008

It's Hump Day And I'm Heading To AREA 51

Today is the last Wednesday before the presidential election next Tuesday and time for my weekly visit to AREA 51 for happy hour and the ramblings and discussions of sports and current events.

One of the more interesting items that I'm sure will be discussed is a recent report from Fox News' Greta Van Susteren. She said Tuesday that Miami Dolphins owner Wayne Huizinga is attempting to sell the team prior to next year in the fear that should Barack Hussein Obama become president, he will lose millions of dollars due to the proposed capital gains tax increase. Methinks that everyone except welfare recipients and illegal aliens will be suffering the same consequences.

I'm not complaining, but have you noticed that all the weather persons on local television channels are beautiful women who look like they just came down from a dance pole? While they all seem to be quite adept and knowledgeable at their weather jobs, It came to mind that I haven't seen an older person (especially a man) in that position in a long while.

While that same position on national news levels seems to reserved for fat, black men, the local weather person profile seems to be reserved for the beautiful cheerleader types. Of course, if I'm watching the weather report and my option is between watching Al Roker or a Miami Dolphin cheerleader........

This Date In History: 1618; Sir Walter Raleigh is beheaded for treason under a sentence given against him 15 years earlier.1787; The opera Don Giovanni, by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, is premiered in Prague. 1923; Turkey is proclaimed a republic with Mustafa Kemal as president.

1929; On “Black Tuesday” of the Wall Street Crash, stock market prices in the United States collapse, marking the start of the worldwide Great Depression. 1991; The Galileo space probe takes the first close-up photograph of an asteroid in space.

PictureOf The Day Staying with the Halloween theme, I particularly wanted to show this picture of a Halloween pumpkin. The artist who carved this pumpkin is a close friend of mine and I'm proud to say that I aided my friend in the carving of the pumpkin by furnishing him with a picture of my ex-Mother-In-Law to use as a guide.

Birthdays My daughter, Jeannie - Happy Birthday Baby! 19XX, Jean Giraudoux, French playwright, novelist, and diplomat 1882, Fanny Brice, American entertainer 1891, Joseph Goebbels, German propagandist 1897.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming

There were twin sisters just turning one hundred years old in St. Luke's Nursing Home and the editor of the Cambridge newspaper, "The Cambridge Distorter", told a photographer to get over there and take the pictures of these 100 year old twins.

One of the twins was hard of hearing and the other could hear quite well. The photographer asked them to sit on the sofa and the deaf one said to her twin, "WHAT DID HE SAY?" Her sister said, "WE GOTTA SIT OVER THERE ON THE SOFA!".

The photographer said, "Now get a little closer together". Again, the deaf twin said, "WHAT DID HE SAY?" Her sister answered, "HE SAYS SQUEEZE TOGETHER A LITTLE". So they wiggled up close to each other.

The photographer said, "Just hold on for a bit longer, I've got to focus a little". The deaf twin said, "WHAT DID HE SAY?" Her sister replied, "HE SAYS HE'S GONNA FOCUS!"

The deaf twin shouted out, "OH MY GOD - BOTH OF US?"

The hospital staff wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair, where they were preparing for the activities for her 100th birthday. Grandma couldn't speak very well, but she could write notes when she needed to communicate.

After a short time out on the lawn, Grandma started leaning off to the right, so some of the hospital staff members grabbed her, straightened her up, and stuffed pillows on her right.

A short time later, she started leaning off to her left, so again the staff grabbed her and stuffed pillows on her left. Soon she started leaning forward, so the staff members again grabbed her, then tied a pillowcase around her waist to hold her up.

Soon thereafter, her nephew arrived, came running up to Grandma and said, "Hi Grandma, you're looking good! How are they treating you?" Grandma took out her little notepad and slowly wrote a note to the nephew, "They won't let me fart."

That's it for today, my little flatulators. More on Friday.

Stay Tuned !

13 comments:

Paula said...

Love your pumpkin, love your jokes, oh heck I just love your journal. I look forward to my laugh every afternoon.

Dawn said...

Happy Birthday to your daughter!

be well...

Beth said...

Wishing your daughter a very happy and fun birthday!

Julia said...

Well Jimmy, I just loved the cartoon at the bottom. Priceless. Happy birthday to your daughter and have a great day at area 51

Coelha :B said...

Lovely pumpkin! I've never seen it done that way--pretty cool. It looks like your ex-mother-inlaw?! LOL... I hope she doesn't see this, or she may put an evil spell/hex on you. Take care, and happy birthday to your daughter. Julie

salemslot9 said...

happy hump/flatulator day to you
is that aka chili day?
lol
thanks, for stopping by Jimmy
love to possum

MISSY said...

The tax issue has me a bit concerned as well. Guess who is not voting for Obama?? :)

Loved the pumpkin and especially the jokes!!! LMAO *M*

http://learningtoadapt.blogspot.com

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

I had never really noticed about the cheerleader weather people, I will have to be more aware :o)

Have fun in Area 51.

Missie said...

Happy Birthday to your daughter and enjoy your night!

Bama said...

Hi Jimmy!
Have you ever noticed when you watch the Weather Channel the women on there are often pregnant?

Makes you wanna go, hhhhmmmmm...

Jackie

Pamela said...

That's funny you should mention about the weather girls. I was discussing this with someone recently. LOL!
LOVED your pumpkin and jokes. You are so funny and you always make me laugh! Happy Birthday to your daughter!
Love, Pam

Indigo said...

Ok, the hits with the twins cracked me up...then you knew it would. As did the Maxine one. Your on a roll today hon.
Loved the pumpkin picture of your ex MIL *winks* (Hugs)Indigo

lindasworld said...

You're ex-mother in law, huh? Well, she needed to have some "work done" I'd say. Hey Sweetie...I'm home ! I'm hoping to be able to stop by on a regular basis once again. Linda (back home) in Washington state