Tuesday, October 7, 2008

The political name calling between John McCain and Barack Hussein Obama reminds me of the story of the famous piccolo player who was finally given a lead solo in the band. The bandleader called his name and announced that he would play the lead solo in the next song. When the song began, the piccolo player started his solo and someone in the rear of the audience yelled, "The piccolo player's an asshole."

Indignant, the bandleader stopped the song and said, "Who called the piccolo player an asshole?" From the rear of the audience, a voice replied, "Who called that asshole a piccolo player?"

Tonight, there is a presidential debate and both of the participants are piccolo players. Heaven help us !

This Date In History: 1571; The Battle of Lepanto, the first major victory of the Christians against the Ottoman Empire, is fought. 1765; Delegates from nine American colonies meet in New York City to respond to the Stamp Act. In the Declaration of Rights and Grievances, the Stamp Act Congress resolves to boycott goods subject to the tax. 1950; Under General Douglas MacArthur, the first American tank crew crosses the 38th parallel and invades North Korea.

Picture Of The Day: CNN, the liberal cable news organization located in Atlanta (aka Detroit South) normally has its head up Barack Obama's ass. Lately, they've been checking out the Republicans to see if they missed anything.

Birthdays: James Whitcomb Riley, American poet (1849), Neils Bohr, Danish physicist and Nobel laureate (1885), Henry Wallace, 33rd vice president of the United States (1888).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

There were three men playing a round of golf, Moses, Jesus, and an old man. They get to the 18th hole and Moses gets to tee-off first; he hits his ball into the water. Next up is Jesus, and he does the same as Moses, hits it right into the water. Next up is the old man and he hits it right into the water with Moses and Jesus.

All three approach the edge of the pond. Moses walks up a little closer, throws his arms high into the air and the water of the pond begins to part down the middle. He walks down to his ball, hits it out of the pond and into the hole. Next up,Jesus. He walks out onto the water and his ball floats up to the surface, so he hits his ball off of the water into the hole.

The old man decides he will try something cool so he walks into the water and hits his ball, which flies out of the water, hits a bird, bounces off a tree, then gets deflected off the pin and hits a rabbit then bounces into the hole. Moses turns to Jesus and says," I hate it when your father plays!"

A drunk stumbles along a baptismal service on Sunday afternoon down by the river. He proceeds to walk down into the water and stand next to the Preacher. The minister turns and notices the old drunk and says, "Mister, Are you ready to find Jesus?" The drunk looks back and says, "Yes, Preacher... I sure am."

The minister then dunks the fellow under the water and pulls him right back up. "Have you found Jesus?" the preacher asked. The drunk says, "No, I didn't!" The preacher then dunks him under for quite a bit longer, brings him up and says, "Now, brother, have you found Jesus?" The drunk says, "No, I did not Reverend."

The preacher in disgust holds the man under for at least 30 seconds this time, brings him out of the water and says in a harsh tone, "My Good man, have you found Jesus yet?" The old drunk wipes his eyes and asks the preacher... "Are you sure this is where he fell in?"

That's it for today my little fiddle faddles. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

7 comments:

garnett109 said...

Jimmy thats where they keep the spare trunk! lmao!

MISSY said...

Wow that picture had me spew drink all over my desk at work lol!!!

Those jokes were cute too :)

*M*

Rose said...

Loved your golf joke. So good to see your journals again.

How do I get Alerted of everyone's entries?

I don't have the word verification on my blog.......should I?

Hugs, Rose

Robin said...

That damn debate is blocking my favorite tv shows tonight!

Martha said...

I am going to have nightmares about that photo! I think I need a drink!

Missie said...

Enjoy your evening.

Julia said...

Where in the world did you find a shot like that, LOL. The election is hopeless. Either way we are all in deep doo doo