Friday, October 31, 2008

Happy Halloween Father James !

I would like to paint you a visual image. It's Friday (T.G.I.F.), it's Halloween and Jimmy will be out and about in AREA 51 tonight to party. Heaven help us if there's a full moon, as well. I'm being pressured into wearing a "costume", but I'm really not a costume kind of guy. When I'm cornered and there's no alternative, I resort to a black shirt and black slacks.

The trick here is that I cut a strip of white cardboard from an old gift box, hook a rubber band to it and place it under my collar. Then I put on a black coat and voila! Yep, Father James at your service. "Forgive me Father for I have sinned" Me, too! Can I buy you a drink?

My pal, Emilio, used to own Krystel's Restaurant and Lounge, the former site of AREA 51. His lady friend cornered me one prior Halloween and let me know in no uncertain terms that I would be wearing a costume for that year's party. Thus was born the Father James routine and oddly enough, it has had some unusual benefits.

I went to the local 7-11 prior to going to the club, purchased a few things and put them on the counter. A young lass, who was attending another customer, turned to me and said, "Will that be all, Father?" Hmmm....I said no thank you, paid and went to my car. I did consider the possibilities, but there's just something about being struck by lightning that's kind of unnerving.

Nominations are open for this week's Cat's Ass Trophy (CAT) Award so keep your eyes and ears open my little stealth fighters and should you turn over a rock and find a candidate, by all means nominate he, she or it.

This Date In History 1517, German theologian and religious reformer Martin Luther publishes his Ninety-Five Theses, denouncing the sale of indulgences and thus sparking the Protestant Reformation. 1954, The Suez Crisis intensifies when British and French aircraft attack and destroy the Egyptian air force.

1971, The British Standard Time experiment, which involved all-year round British Summer Time, and a “double summertime” that put the summer months two hours ahead of Greenwich Mean Time, ends after three years. 1984, Indira Gandhi is assassinated by her Sikh bodyguards.

Picture Of The Day I found this haunted house while perusing the 'net and I really liked it, so I thought I'd share it with you. If you read Wednesday's entry you might recall a certain picture and the description of where the artist got his inspiration. With that in mind, I give you a picture of that certain someone's residence.

Birthdays John Evelyn, writer and government official 1620, John Keats, English poet 1795, Marie Laurencin, French painter 1885, Chiang Kai-shek, Chinese statesman 1887, Michael Collins, American astronaut 1930.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

The Cowboy (my thanks to Garnett for this ditty).

As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus. Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. When she tried to take the step, she discovered that she couldn't.

So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step. Once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg. With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to take the step.

About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus. She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and yelled, "How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!"

The Texan smiled and drawled, "Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we was friends."

A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner. Both he and his wife decide that they won't tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess. The kids were eager to know what the meat was on their plates, so they begged their dad for the clue.

Well, he said, "It's what mommy calls me some times". The little girl turns to her brother and says, "Don't eat it, Bobby, it's an asshole!!!"

When I was born, God gave me the choice between two fantastic gifts. I could have a great photographic memory or I could be the world's greatest lover........

Shit! Now I forgot what I was going to tell you!

That's it for today my little ghastly ghosts. Have a happy Halloween, a great and safe weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !


garnett109 said...

Debbie dresses in blue and I in black , we go out together as a bruise.
Happy halloween!

Pamela said...

I could just see you dressed in that get up! LOL! What fun it would be to go out with you on Halloween!
Have a good Halloween, stay safe, and we'll see you Monday.
Love ya,
Pam xoxox

Rose said...

Oh my Father, James! Great idea for a costume but are Catholic! With the name Sullivan.....what else would you be??? LOL

Love the picture of the haunted house.

Garnett's contribution of the zipper story is hillarious!

Enjoy your weekend and be careful with all the Gouls out there tonight.

Hugs, Rose

Beth said...

Have a fun weekend!

Anne said...

Just wanted to let you know I haven't dropped off the edge of the earth. Just been stressed and busy. Good to read you again! Anne

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

Hope you had fun tonight Father :o)

Dawn said...

Good entry, Father Jim!

be well...

Julia said...

I loved your graphics and is that Possum playing with the scratching post? Have a great day

Paula said...

Hope your Halloween was as scary as Hell Father.

Missie said...

Have a great Halloween night!

Coelha :B said...

Perfect costume! Your story reminds me of the night I was leaving Las Vegas. In the airport, sitting near us was a priest. I was a bad girl in Vegas, and I almost confessed to him. :) Have a great Halloween, Father!
Julie ;)

lindasworld said...

When will you be hearing confessions ? Hope you had a good evening. Linda in Washington, sitting in the dark so the little creeps out there won't ring my doorbell.

Nancy said...

Just a quick hi...sorry I haven't been around much. I'm doing the best I can.

Hope ya had fun last night! (I didn't...was sick) : (


Martha said...

I hope you had a great Halloween Father James! :-)

Joann said...

What a great Halloween house!!! I hope you had a great time at the party!! Love the jokes!!! LOL!!


Woody said...

You probably know we are waiting for the "FATHER JAMES" entry and the AREA 51 report!!!!!!! Unless you were really, really BAD you should only have 5 "Hail Marys" and 6 "Our Fathers" and 1 "Act of Contrition" to do for Pennance!!!!


Meg said...

I can't believe I laughed out loud at that deer joke.
I can't see you being a costume kind of guy, but I can kinda see you doing the "father" bit.

MISSY said...

Fun costume! Loved the jokes. *M* -Missy