First and foremost, what little intelligence men have, drops by fifty percent when around women. This number drops considerably lower if the men are professional athletes. As for throwing a football, baseball, Frisbee (whatever) to "accidentally" get nearer to women, this is the oldest trick in the book. Men have (and always will) continually make fools of themselves when there is a woman around.
That said, there is no excuse whatsoever for singling out any person just because he or she may have skin tight clothing on a miraculous body. This is completely unacceptable. Of the thousands of the famous female Mexican football reporters, it is beyond belief why these athletes would behave in such an ungentlemanly manner around this particular reporter.. Furthermore, I am reasonably sure that the lovely Miss Sainz had no idea that there would be sweaty naked athletes in the locker room and that her presence and dress would cause such a furor. Surely Miss Sainz did not think that her body, which she has shyly posted swim suit pictures of on Facebook and MySpace would create such havoc.
I am posting some of the pictures taken from those sites (for the sake of this report only) so that you may decide for yourself. I would also like to apologize on behalf of all men for the insensitive action taken by the New York Jets. To gesture further, I invite Miss Sainz to have dinner with me at her convenience so that I may soothe and allay any fears or worries created by the incident.
The News As I See It: Snooki from "Jersey Shore" was in court the other day and the judge called her a "Lindsay Lohan Wannabe." I'm still trying to figure out who should be more offended.
President Obozo insisted that the U.S. economy is still showing improvement. And he said you can take that to the bank, if you can find any that are still open. According to a new report, 41 of Obozo's staffers now owe the government more than $831,000 in back taxes. When asked if they could just keep avoiding taxes, they said, "Yes we can! Yes we can!"
There was no Koran burning last Saturday. Apparently wingnut pastor, Terry Jones, decided not to burn the Koran when he realized the only copy he had was on his Kindle.
Author's Note: Today's jokes are a bit risque and are rated R-17. You may proceed at your own risk (I know you'll read 'em but just in case.....) This Date In History: 1789; The U.S. Department of Foreign Affairs changed its name to the Department of State. 1821; Costa Rica, Guatemala, Honduras, Nicaragua, and El Salvador gained independence. 1835; Charles Darwin and the HMS Beagle reached the Galapagos Islands.
1917; Alexander Kerensky proclaimed Russia a republic. 1935; The Nuremberg Laws deprived Jews of their citizenship and made the Swastika the official emblem of Nazi Germany. 1963; A church bombing in Birmingham, Alabama, killed four young black girls.
1989; Pulitzer Prize-winning author Robert Penn Warren, the first poet laureate of the United States, died. 2004; The National Hockey League lockout began. The 2004-2005 season would ultimately be canceled.
Picture Of The Day: Ines Sainz, the sports reporter from Azteca TV, has her pictures plastered on MySpace, Facebook and all over the Internet and I thought I'd show you a few. Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) A new study found that two-thirds of the world’s penguins are threatened, which begs the question, why do they keep answering the phone? 2) President Obozo is going to release a fun, easy-to-read children’s book. It’s for ages Biden and up. 3) Scotsmen wear kilts because sheep can hear zippers 4) There's no fool like an old fool, but the young ones are coming right along. 5) Today is the first day of the rest of your life - Not exactly beginning with a bang, is it?.....and that's five !
Birthdays: My sweet Miriam, I love you! Happy Birthday Baby 19XX, François de La Rochefoucauld, writer 1613, James Fenimore Cooper, American novelist 1789, William Howard Taft, 27th U.S. president 1857, Bruno Walter, conductor 1876, Agatha Christie, story writer 1890, Jean Renoir, film director, writer 1894, Oliver Stone, filmmaker 1946, Dan Marino, football quarterback 1961.
The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar and Grill: A woman walks into a hardware store and says, "I want to buy a hinge." The clerk says, "I'll go get one for you, Ma'am." The clerk goes to the rear of the store to get the hinge. When he finds one, he calls out to the woman, "Do you wanna screw for the hinge?" The woman replies, "No, but I'll blow you for a toaster."
A very attractive young lady was sitting in a fine restaurant one night, waiting for her date. Wanting to make sure everything was perfect, she bends down in her chair to get her purse. Straining to reach the purse, she accidentally farts quite loudly just as the waiter walks up. She sits up quickly, embarrassed and red faced knowing everyone in the place heard her. She turns to the waiter and demands, "Stop that!" The waiter looks at her dryly and says, "Sure lady, which way was it headed?" The Hits Just Keep On Coming: One Monday morning a mailman is walking the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he notices that both cars were in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by Bob, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles.
The mailman said, "Wow Bob, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night." Bob replies, "Actually we had it Saturday night. This is the first I have felt like moving since 4:00 am Sunday morning. We had about fifteen couples from around the neighborhood over for some weekend fun and it got a bit wild. Hell, we got so drunk around midnight that we started playing 'Who Am I?'"
The mailman thinks a moment and says, "How do you play that?" Bob says, "Well all the guys go in the bedroom and we come out one at a time with a sheet covering us and only our "privates" showing through a hole in the sheet. Then the women try to guess who it is."
The mailman laughs and says, "Damn, I'm sorry I missed that." Bob says, "It's probably a good thing you did. Your name came up seven times...." An old drunk at the bar noticed two lovey ladies having a drink and wandered over to their side. He overheard the girls laughing at a joke and said, "If you like jokes, I've got a good one." The first girl said, "Are there any dirty words in the joke?" The drunk said there's one or two, but I'll just say "fork" so that you are not offended."
The women thought about it for a while and the second girl said, "It really doesn't matter to me if you use the F-word, especially if it's funny." The first girl, quite the dowdy, said, "Absolutely not! If you have to use the F-word, please go tell someone else."
The drunk said, "Don't worry ma'am, I just say 'fork' so you get the joke." The first girl said, "No, just use the letter 'F' or go tell someone else." The drunk, now irritated, said, "Ok, I'll just use the 'F' letter." The first girl, pleased, said "Ok, go ahead." The drunk said, "Ok! Two cock-suckers walk into a bar and....."
That's it for today my little road runners. Remember, don't count your chickens and don't blame my cat, Possum. He has an airtight alibi. It's Hump Day and I'm off to AREA 51 for Happy Hour. More on Friday.
Stay Tuned !