You Can't Trust AARP !

AARP used to be a decent organization until it got into the business of making money and affecting politics. An 18-month congressional investigation into AARP reveals that the organization stands to make more than $1 billion over the next 10 years from Obamacare, a law the seniors lobby supported despite opposition among its core constituency.

AARP, which operates as a tax-exempt organization in Washington, would profit from an increase in its insurance business, specifically from the sale of Medicare products to older Americans. The lucrative business has already transformed AARP into an insurance powerhouse. If it were a for-profit business, AARP would rank as the sixth-largest insurance company in America with profits of $427 million in 2009.

AARP’s revenues exploded following passage of the Medicare Part D law during the Bush administration and will continue to grow as a result of Obamacare, according the House Ways and Means Committee report. That’s because an estimated 7 million seniors will lose Medicare Advantage plans - a consequence of Obamacare - and shift to Medigap plans instead.

Every new Medigap plan sold by AARP, already the largest provider of those plans, results in more royalty revenue. As seniors begin to make the shift in 2014, AARP stands to make between $55 million and $166 million that year alone. Over 10 years, royalties would total more than $1 billion just in new customers.

This isn’t the first time AARP has come under scrutiny. IRS investigations in the 1980s and 1990s produced multi-million dollar settlements. But those settlements came long before AARP began reaping millions from health insurance.

The stakes today are much higher. With more than 40 million members, AARP has the market corned on seniors. The revenue from AARP-endorsed plans for Medicare Advantage, Medigap and Medicare Part D provide royalties that give the organization incredible clout for a non-profit.

Meanwhile, there’s growing evidence that the policies supported by AARP - namely Obamacare - aren’t nearly as popular among its target democraphic. According to the Kaiser Health Tracking Poll this month, a majority of seniors have an unfavorable view of the law. Just 19 percent think the Medicare program will be better off under Obamacare.

The News As I See It: Let me assure you that unless the Republicans come up with a viable candidate for the 2012 elections, Barack Hussein Obozo will be re-elected. Upon his re-election, he will then address the U.S.-Mexican border illegal alien problem, having successfully used the Hispanic vote to win his re-election.

The elderly are the fastest-growing segment of Internet users. I know several old people that send email, chat, and Skype with their friends. Some of them even do it when the computer is turned on.

Officials at BP have filed for permits to drill for oil again in the Gulf of Mexico. They say the oil is easier to find than ever because it’s mostly on top of the water.

President Obozo announced his re-election campaign, though it’s not really a surprise. He did all the things that make it official: He filed the paperwork, redesigned his website, and printed another fake birth certificate. Unfortunately, his popularity is so low that he’s running on the slogan, "I’m Michelle Obama’s husband."

Southwest Airlines said that the hole that ripped through the fuselage of one of their airplanes was not terrorism-related. Thank goodness it was just maintenance neglect. Southwest has a new slogan, "We love the sky and it shows."

McDonald’s announced that it will hire 15,000 people. That’s when you know things are bad — when McDonald’s needs reinforcements.

The CEO of Starbucks announced his intention to expand the coffee shop into a grocery business. I can’t wait to buy a $4 tomato.

This Date In History: 1830; Joseph Smith and five others organized the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Fayette, New York. 1862; The Battle of Shiloh in the American Civil War began. 1896; First modern Olympic Games opened in Athens, Greece.

1909; Robert Peary and Matthew Henson became the first to reach the North Pole. 1917; U.S. declared war on Germany and entered World War I. 1994; The presidents of Rwanda and Burundi were killed in a plane crash.

Picture Of The Day: Today is one of those days where there really isn't a theme. The pictures are a bit eclectic, as am I, so today's pics just struck my fancy. The picture of the day is of a squirrel who I have made friends with. It's not really a good picture, but every time I take my good camera, the little bastard won't pose. I took this shot with my Blackberry as my little friend finally stopped scampering from tree to tree.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) AARP is coming out with a new magazine for old men who are married. Every month the centerfold is the same woman. 2) My ex-wife is getting to that awkward age. Too young for Medicare and too old for men to care. 3) Chicago got started when a bunch of old people in New York said, "Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough. Let's go west." 4) It is well documented that for every minute that you exercise, you add one minute to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000 per month. 5) You know you're old when your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.....and that's five!

Today's Birthday Horoscope: Aries - April 6th: A hard life will get harder for you this week as you start drinking heavily. The best of excuses are those that are plausible. When gazing upon the face of a loved one, close your mouth and stop babbling on about how much you wish that restraining order had been quashed. Brown is your unlucky color for today.

Teepees are a saucy place to hide out and contemplate making love. Of course you're far too prudish for anything like that but it'll be nice to think about it for a while.

Birthdays: Raphael Santi, Italian Renaissance painter 1483, James Mill, philosopher, economist, and historian 1773, Anthony Fokker, aircraft manufacturer and father of many little fokkers 1890, Andre Previn, conductor, composer, and pianist 1929.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees $10 and a note in his mouth, reading: "10 lamb chops, please." Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag of chops in the dog's mouth, and quickly closes the shop. He follows the dog and watches him wait for a green light, look both ways, and trot across the road to a bus stop. The dog checks the timetable and sits on the bench.

When the bus arrives, he walks around to the front and looks at the number, then boards the bus. The butcher follows, dumbstruck. As the bus travels out into the suburbs, the dog takes in the scenery. After awhile he stands on his back paws to push the "stop" button, then the butcher follows him off. The dog runs up to a house and drops his bag on the stoop. He goes back down the path, takes a big run, and throws himself against the door. He does this again and again. No answer.

So he jumps on a wall, walks around the garden, beats his head against a window, jumps off, and waits at the front door. A big guy opens it and starts cursing at the dog. The butcher runs up screams at the guy, "What the hell are you doing? This dog's a genius!" The owner responds, "Genius, my ass. It's the second time this week he's forgotten his key!"

Two robins were sitting in a tree. The first one says. "I'm really hungry. Let's fly down and find some lunch." They flew down to the ground and found a nice plot of newly plowed ground that was full of worms. They ate and ate and ate till they could eat no more. The first one says, "I'm so full, I don't think I can fly back up into the tree." The second one says, "No, let's just lay back here and bask in the warm sun."

So they plopped down, basking in the sun. No sooner than they had fallen asleep, when a big fat tomcat came up and gobbled them up. As the cat sat washing his face after his meal, he thought, "I just love Baskin Robins."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: My thanks to my pal Woody for his contribution to today's stories.

Each Friday night after work, Bubba would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a venison steak but, all of Bubba's neighbors were Catholic. Since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating red meat on Friday. The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their priest.

The Priest came to visit Bubba, and suggested that he become a Catholic. After several classes and much study, Bubba attended Mass and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, "You were born a Baptist, and raised a Baptist, but now you are a Catholic." Bubba's neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived, and the wonderful aroma of grilled venison filled the neighborhood.

The Priest was called immediately by the neighbors, and as he rushed into Bubba's yard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped and watched in amazement. There stood Bubba, clutching a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meat and chanted: "You wuz born a deer, you wuz raised a deer, but now you is a catfish."

A man and his friend meet at the club house and decide to play a round of golf together. The man has a little dog with him and on the first green, when the man holes out a 20 foot putt, the little dog starts to yip and stands up on its hind legs.

The friend is quite amazed at this clever trick and says, "That dog is really talented! What does he do if you miss a putt?" The man says, "Somersaults." The friend says, "Somersaults? That's incredible. How many does he do?" The man answers, "That depends on how hard I kick him in the ass."

An 18 year old lad has been dating a 17 year old girl for a few months. They've been to the pictures and return to her home where she lives with her father, the mother having passed on several years previously. They settle down the sofa in the living room, while the old man watches tv in the back room.

Now the girl is the apple of his eye so, naturally, he's worried sick about her well being and eventually just has to break off from watching and goes to the living room. He says, "Sue, could you make me a cup of tea?" She replies, "sure, Dad" and goes into the kitchen to put the kettle on.

Meanwhile, the crafty old man sits down on the sofa with the lad to have a word. He figures he'll "invent" something to keep the lad on the straight and narrow. He says. "I remember when I was your age. The thing is, I'm worried about our Sue." The lad replies, "Why, what's up with her?" The sly old man says, "Well, I shouldn't really tell you, but she's got acute angina." The lad says, "Oh, I know and she's got a great pair of tits too!"

That's it for today my little jell rolls. Remember, just because the tattoo on your ass has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It translates to "beef with broccoli." More on Friday.

Stay Tuned !