Friday, January 25, 2013

Civics? Aren't They Made By Honda?

Schools in Washington, D.C., are considering taking Civics out of their curriculum. On the last administration of the National Assessment of Educational Progress in civics, in 2010, only 24 percent of high school seniors scored on the proficient level, with knowledge deficiencies in areas including the U.S. Constitution, civil rights, immigration laws, and the court system.

As for the eighth graders, less than half could identify the purpose of the Bill of Rights. When those scores came out last year, former Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor said that “we have a crisis on our hands when it comes to civics education."

If this comes to pass, it will just about round out the state of today's student education. They already are unable to read and  write correctly and they can't do basic mathematics. They know nothing of geography, including countries, U.S. states and their capitols and now, they'll have no knowledge of government.

I look forward to seeing them on the evening news either robbing convenience stores or listening to them at their future jobs as they ask, "Do you want fries with that?"

The News As I See It: Joe O'Biden made another one of his famous gaffes on camera Monday, saying he was proud to be president of the United States. I guess he forgot he wasn't at home standing in front of the bathroom mirror.

In his inaugural address, Obama praised the patriots of 1776 and said they were much better than the Patriots of last Sunday.

There's been a lot of criticism over the NFL for not hiring enough minority coaches. And, of course, the NFL is trying to spin it. They said, "What are you talking about? We got two brothers coaching the Super Bowl."

Manti Te'o recently sat down for an interview with Katie Couric. Katie asked him at what point did he know something was amiss? My guess is when he found that she wasn't a miss.

Apple has reported a drop in profits this quarter, a big drop. Experts warned that Apple could run out of money — 600 years from now.

The Pentagon has allowed women to serve in combat. Yeah, the hope is that we can now finally defeat the Taliban by giving them the silent treatment.

This Date In History: 1890; Nellie Bly bested Jules Verne's Around the World in 80 Days by completing her circumnavigation in 72 days. 1890; United Mine Workers of America was founded. 1915; Alexander Graham Bell inaugurated transcontinental telephone service.

1924; The first Winter Olympic games opened at Chamonix, France. 1961; President John F. Kennedy held the first presidential news conference carried live on radio and television. 1971; Charles Manson was found guilty of murdering Sharon Tate and six others.

Picture Of The Day: A room with a view was the first thought that came to my mind when I stumbled across this quaint picture.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) Maybe we should be focusing less on Goldilocks and more on why Mama and Papa bear don't sleep in the same bed anymore. 2) I can still remember a time when I knew more than my phone. 3) Couples who have been married a long time start finishing each others sentences. The most popular ending being "Shut the f*ck up!" 4) Be an optimist - at least until they start moving animals in pairs to Cape Canaveral. 5) Teach a child to be polite and courteous and when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto a freeway.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Aquarius - January 24: The light is coming closer and soon you will see exactly what the future holds with a special someone. The light is a little bit blinding though, so you might want to duck out of the way when it gets closer. This advice will be particularly useful if you happen to be in a tunnel. The sound of a train whistle may be a telling sign.

Birthdays: My friend Bruce - Happy Birthday racer ! 19XX, Joseph Louis Lagrange, mathematician and astronomer 1736, Robert Burns, poet 1759, George Edward Pickett, Confederate general 1825, W. Somerset Maugham, writer 1874, Virginia Woolf , English writer 1882, Corazon Aquino, politician 1933, Eusebio, soccer player 1942, Steve Prefontaine, runner 1951, Alicia Keys, singer, songwriter 1981, Tatiana Golovin, tennis player 1988.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: A Republican was campaigning across the South and his travels took him to a rural area in the Smokey Mountains which was not known to be Republican. He stopped by a farm to do some campaigning and when the farmer learned that he was a Republican, his jaw dropped and he said, "Wait right here 'til I go get Ma. She's never seen a Republican before."

While waiting on the farmer to return, the candidate looked around to find a podium to make his speech. The only thing he could find was a large pile of manure. The farmer returned with his wife and the candidate climbed up on the mound and made his speech.

When he finished, the farmer said, "You know, that's the first time I ever heard a Republican make a speech." The candidate replied, "Well, that's the first time I ever made a Republican speech from a Democratic platform."

I hope that this will once again confirm that the most important information in your life won't come from a teacher, the library or the Internet, but from a mentor, and on a very personal level. My long-passed grandfather's birthday is coming up, and for me it is a time to reminisce.

The long walks we used to take. The long drives.The special trips he would make to pick me up so I could spend weekends with him and the advice he used to give! Much was wasted because I was young when he died. If he were alive today and sharing his pearls of wisdom, I'd be a better man.

Those gems were well and good, but the one I remember most, the jewel in the crown of grandfatherly advice, came when I was on 12. We were sitting in a park, watching children and their mothers enjoying a beautiful spring day.

He told me that one day, I'd find a woman and start my own family. He said, "And son, be sure you marry a woman with small hands." I asked him, "How come, Grandpa?" He smiled and said,  "It makes your pecker look bigger."

Kinda brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it?

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: (Anchovies or jalapenos added to jokes upon request; your mileage may vary; no substitutions allowed).

Two good ole boys from Louisiana decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead. The first went in to see the counselor, who told him to take math, history and logic.

The guy asked, "What's logic?" The professor answered, "Let me give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?" The guy answered, "I sure do." The professor said, "Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard." The guy said, "That's pretty good!"

The professor continued, "Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also own a house." Impressed, the guy said, "Amazing!" The professor went on, "And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife." The guy says, "That's Betty Mae! This is incredible!" The Louisiana boy was catching on.

The professor said, "Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual." The guy said, "You're absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thing I ever heard! I cain't wait to take that logic class!" Proud of the new world opening up to him, the guy walked back into the hallway where his friend was still waiting.

His friend said, "So what classes are ya takin'?" The guy said, "Math, history, and logic!" His friend asked, "What in tarnation is logic?" The guy said, "Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weed eater?" His friend replied, "No." The guy said, "You're queer, ain't ya?"

A man walks into the dentist's office and after the dentist examines him, the dentist says, "That tooth has to come out. I'm going to give you a shot of Novocain and I'll be back in a few minutes."

The man grabs the dentist's arm, "No way! I hate needles. I'm not having any shot!" So the dentist says, "Okay, we'll have to go with the gas." The man replies, "Absolutely not! It makes me very sick for a couple of days. I'm not having gas."

So the dentist steps out and comes back with a glass of water, "Here, take this pill." The man asks, "What is it?" The dentist replies, "Viagra." The man looks surprised. "Will that kill the pain?" The dentist replies, "No, but it will give you something to hang on to while I pull that tooth!"

A mother of five decides to get plastic surgery on her privates so her husband can enjoy the snugness she had in her youth. So, she heads off to the doctor for the procedure. Once the procedure is done, she wakes up to find three roses on her bed, and asks the nurse who sent them.

The nurse says, "The doctor wanted you to know he appreciates the business, so he left you a rose. Then your husband came in with a rose, stating that he can't wait to feel the results of the surgery, so he left a rose, too."

The woman asked, "What about the third rose?" The nurse replies, "Oh, that's from Ed in the burn unit. He wanted to thank you for the new ears."

That's it for today, my little bitty pretty ones. Remember, there's nothing better than a good friend, except a good friend with chocolate. I'm heading over to AREA 51 for happy hour.

That's it for now. Have a great weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !

1 comment:

jack69 said...

Now JImmy I like you, I read thru all that stuff. I laughed a Biden. I enjoyed the printables as usual,I got that 'circumcision' about the NFL concerning minorities, but I now have red wine on the best shirt I ever found at a yard sale. I DIDN'T HAVE A GRANDPA TO TELL ME ABOUT LOOKING AT SHERRY'S HANDS!
As my friend Donald says, YOU ARE FIRED!
But have a good week end and I hope you make it back!!