Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Read My Lips

According to the U.S. Marine Band, Beyonce lip-synced the National Anthem at Monday's inauguration. The 31-year-old pop star wowed the crowd of about 800,000 people with her powerful rendition of the "Star-Spangled Banner." But it wasn't a live performance, according to a Marine Corps Band spokesperson, who says the band wasn't playing and Beyoncé was lip-syncing to her own voice.

As a regular practice, each piece of music scheduled for performance during the Inauguration is pre-recorded in case it's needed for extenuating circumstances such as freezing temperatures or equipment failure. In video of Beyoncé's performance, it's unclear if she was singing live along with the pre-recorded track.

Kristin Dubois, Master Sgt. of the U.S. Marine Corps Band, told ABC News on Tuesday, "We all know Beyoncé can sing an we all know the Marine Corps Band can play. We do not know why she decided to go with the pre-recorded music at the last minute."  

Dubois adds that the band performed live to accompany the other acts, including James Taylor and Kelly Clarkson, but was specifically asked not to play during Beyoncé's performance. It has confirmed that both Taylor and Clarkson indeed performed live.

Later, a higher ranking U.S. Marine Band spokeswoman said they were not "in a position to assess" and fell on their collective swords.

As a singer-musician, I can tell you that the worst fear of any performer is having to perform while "under the weather" or "out in the weather". While both James Taylor and Kelly Clarkson performed in the adverse conditions in Washington, I can appreciate the fact that Beyonce decided to rely on lip-syncing to her own recording.

The News As I See It: Manti Te'o is going through a painful experience now that everyone knows his girlfriend never existed. People are saying that he knew it was a hoax way back in early December. I just hope Manti doesn't give up on all imaginary girlfriends. Now he's gone from being the “Fightin’ Irish” to the “Lyin’ Hawaiian.”

Speaking of lyin' Hawaiians, Barry Obama was officially inaugurated on Monday in a day of celebration. Michele seemed to get a lot of attention with her new "bangs." I don't know if they're new or not, but only her wig maker really knows.

The media made a big deal out of the fact that four years ago there were twice as many people at Obama's first inauguration than there was at this one. That's because four years ago, twice as many people could afford to stay in hotels.

George Washington gave the shortest inauguration speech in history. It was only like three minutes long. Well, sure. George Washington couldn't tell a lie.

McDonald's is giving customers the option to add bacon to any order for 49 cents. Not to be outdone, Olive Garden announced that for 50 cents they will add Italian food to any order.

Kim Kardashian said that in a perfect world she would love being divorced from Kris Humphries before having Kayne West’s baby. On the other hand, in a perfect world no one would know who she is.

It's reported that if you're playing "Angry Birds", the company is tracking your location. This may seem silly to you, but it's actually how we got bin Laden."

The director of "Zero Dark Thirty" has come out against torture. The director of "Lincoln" has come out against going to the theater in 1865.

This Date In History: 1556; The deadliest earthquake on record killed 830,000 in Shansi, China. 1789; Georgetown University established in what is now Washington, DC. 1849; Elizabeth Blackwell became the first woman physician in the U.S.

1964; The 24th Amendment to the Constitution, barring poll taxes, was ratified. 1968; North Korea seized the U.S. Navy ship Pueblo (the crew was released 11 months later.) 1973; President Nixon announced that an accord had been reached to end the Vietnam War.

1989; Salvador Dali died in Spain at age 84. 2002; Wall Street Journal reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped by the National Movement for the Restoration of Pakistani Sovereignty. 2004; Bob Keeshan, "Captain Kangaroo," died at age 76.

Picture Of The Day: I'm not sure that Mom approved of this little kiss between friends, but I'm sure the puppy and the baby enjoyed the moment..... 

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I planted some bird seed. A bird came up and now I don't know what to feed it. 2) Sometimes, when I don't want my girlfriend to find something, I put it in her purse. 3) Brother Kirt bought a Japanese camera. When he takes a picture, the camera goes "Crick". 4) The weather is here, wish you were beautiful. 5) I was sitting in AREA 51 last week and I asked a lovely Oriental girl if she knew what an erection was. She said, "Of course, it's when we vote".....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Aquarius - January 23rd: You will be unable to avoid the animal passions that explode throughout your body today and as such, it might be best that you go home early before embarrassing yourself terribly with various moans and outbursts. Then again.....

Birthdays: Stendhal, writer 1783, Camilla Collett, novelist, essayist, and literary critic 1813, Edouard Manet, French Painter 1832, Sergei Eisenstein filmmaker 1898, Django Reinhardt, jazz musician 1910, Potter Stewart, Associate Justice 1915, Gertrude B. Elion, pharmacologist 1918, Ernie Kovacs, actor, comedian 1919, Jeanne Moreau, actress 1928, Derek Walcott, dramatist and poet 1930, Princess Caroline of Monaco, royalty 1957, Tiffani Thiessen, actor 1974.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: I just got off the phone with a friend living in North Dakota near the Canadian Border. He said that since early this morning the snow has been coming down. It is nearly waist high and is still falling.

The temperature is dropping way below zero and the north wind is increasing to near gale force. His wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare. He says that if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in.

An old man, very well dressed, hair well groomed, walks into an upscale cocktail lounge. Seated at the bar is an attractive young lady.

The gentleman walks over, sits along side of her, orders a drink, turns to her and says, "So tell me, do I come here often?"

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: My thanks to my pal Linda in Washington State for her contribution to today's stories.

Abe and Esther are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to celebrate their 50th anniversary. Suddenly, over the public address system, the captain announces, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing."

The captain continued, "Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach. However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives!" Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island.

An hour later, Abe turns to his wife and asks, "Esther, did we pay our VISA and MasterCard bills yet?" She responds, "No, sweetheart." Abe, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks, "Esther, did we pay our American Express card yet?" "Esther says, "Oh, no! I'm sorry. I forgot to send the check."

Abe says, "One last thing Esther. Did you remember to send the estimated earnings check to the IRS this quarter?" Esther answers, "Oh, forgive me, Abe, I didn't send that one, either."

Abe grabs her and gives her the biggest kiss in 40 years. Esther pulls away and asks him, "What was that for?" Abe answers, "They'll find us!"

A man gets on a flight and he hears that the Pope is on the flight. He thinks, "Wow, what a good place to be today." So he boards and he doesn't see the Pope. He figures that maybe the other passengers were wrong.

He takes his seat and is thankful that there is an empty next to him. Just before the flight closes, on walks the Pope and sits next to him. The man thinks, "I am surely blessed. Here I am a good Catholic on a flight with the Pope sitting next to me.

The plane takes off and after a few minutes, the passengers take off their seat belts. The man looks sideways and sees the Pope reach into his bag and take out a crossword book. He thinks, "Great, not only am I blessed with the Pope next to me, but he does crosswords and so do I. Maybe he will ask for help."

The flight continues and the Pope is working his way through the puzzle. The man notices that the Pope is tapping his pencil, thinking. The Pope turns to him and asks, "I usually don't talk to others on flights, but I wonder if you can help me. " The man says, "Anything your eminence. What is it?"

The Pope says, "Do you know a four letter word for 'woman' that ends in u-n-t?" The man feels uncomfortable. He thinks and thinks. Finally he says, "The only word I can think of is aunt." The Pope turns to him and asks, "Do you have an eraser?"

That's it for today, my little doodle bugs. Remember, Hell hath no fury like the lawyer of a woman scorned. A trip to AREA 51 for happy hour is the plan of the day.

That's it for now. More on Friday.

Stay Tuned !

1 comment:

jack69 said...

Crick..hahahahahahahaha! hahaha!

"They will find us!" Hahahahaha!

Thanks for the laughs, I can't stop. Crick!.....

I think the lip-SINK is hokay. I didn't hear it anyway... And the Marines needed a break...
Good one!!!