Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Government Logic - $432,664 Per Year?

Californians can't seem to figure out why the state is going into the crapper, but here's one of the reasons. Susan Muranishi, the Alameda County administrator, will be paid $432,664 annually for the rest of her life when she retires from her job in a couple of years. 

Muranishi, 63, has a life expectancy of 22 years more. When you calculate her pay package times 22 years, Alameda County taxpayers are going to be paying her well over nine million dollars in her retirement.

News of Muranishi’s payout comes at a time when nearby Stockton, is trying to enter bankruptcy. On Monday, the city faced off with its creditors in U.S. Bankruptcy Court to decide the issue.

Stockton is one of several California localities saying they’ve run out of money and can’t pay their creditors. Lawyers for the city announced Monday it has cut its budget and services and has no choice but to enter bankruptcy.

The News As I See It: The Supreme Court is hearing arguments on the constitutionality of same-sex marriage. It could be a major blow for those who believe that marriage should be between two bitter and overweight people of the opposite sex.

Happy birthday to retired Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor who just turned 83 years old. In a 5-4 decision, the Supreme Court wished her a happy birthday.

Poet Robert Frost also had a birthday, He once said that a poem begins as a lump in the throat. Maybe I don't understand the whole idea of metaphors and allegory, but if your poem starts as a lump in your throat, you should see a doctor. 

Harvard was knocked out of the NCAA tournament in the second round. But don’t kid yourself. This Harvard basketball team went somewhere no other team has class.

A rattlesnake handler in Texas is recovering in the hospital after being bitten for the 12th time. If you’re a rattlesnake handler and you've been bitten 12 times, are you really a handler? Aren’t you just a guy who doesn’t know how to pick up snakes?

Monday was the beginning of the eight-day Jewish holiday of Passover, when God freed the Jews from slavery in Egypt. In other words, history's first spring break. They left Egypt and went to Florida.....and they're still there.

Secretary of State John Kerry..... what do you think? Is he getting the job done? I don't know. It's hard to trust a secretary of state who is not wearing a pantsuit. Kerry recently visited Iraq and Afghanistan. Meanwhile, Israeli President Benjamin Netanyahu is met with Dennis Rodman.

There's a growing trend of older Americans who are using marijuana in their retirement. That makes sense because old people are always talking about their joints. I guess the marijuana trend explains why White Castle is now offering an early bird special.

This Date In History: 1794; Congress authorizes the construction of six frigates, including the Constitution (Old Ironsides), for the U.S. Navy. 1866; President Andrew Johnson vetoed a civil rights bill which later became the 14th amendment. 1884; The first long-distance telephone call was made, between Boston and New York.

1917; The Seattle Metropolitans became the first U.S. hockey team to win the Stanley Cup. 1958; Nikita Khrushchev became Soviet premier and first secretary of the Communist Party. 1964; A 9.2 magnitude earthquake hit 80 miles east of Anchorage, Alaska, killing 117 and producing a 50-foot tsunami that traveled over 8,000 miles.

1977; Pan American and KLM Boeing 747s collided on a runway in Santa Cruz de Tenerife, Canary Islands. The 542 people killed is the highest ever for an aviation disaster. 2001; A federal judge ruled that the University of Michigan’s affirmative action policy was invalid, a ruling that later would be reversed in an appeal.

Picture Of The Day: Cutie Pie !

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) They say that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. At this point in my life, I should be able to bench-press a Buick. 2) As much as I dislike Obama, do you realize that we are just one heart beat away from President Biden? 3) I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. 4) They call it "pms" because "mad cow disease" was already taken. 5) Foreign Aid is the transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Aries - March 27th: Dogs can be a man's best friend or a woman's best friend. They could also be a child's best friend or a cat's best friend. Actually, dogs are totally flexible. The post office is going to be lucky for you today as a mystery package arrives for you that, for once, is neither ticking nor covered in mysterious powder. Love will no longer be just another four-letter-word to you today as you will start to understand why birds suddenly appear every time someone nears.

Birthdays: Nathaniel Currier, lithographer 1813, Wilhelm Conrad Roentgen, physicist 1845, Ludwig Mies van der Rohe, architect 1886, Louis Simpson, poet 1923, Sarah Vaughan, singer 1924, Michael York, actor 1942, Quentin Tarantino, filmmaker 1963, Mariah Carey, singer 1970.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: An old man was fishing in his boat one day when he heard a voice say, "Pick me up." He looked around and couldn't see any one. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, "Pick me up." He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog.

The man said, "Are you talking to me?" The frog said, "Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up then, kiss me and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because I will be your bride!"

The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully and placed it in his front breast pocket. Then the frog said, "Didn't you hear what I said? I said kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride." He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said, "No, at my age I'd rather have a talking frog."

Little johnny comes down for breakfast and his mother asks him if he has done his chores. Little Johnny replied, "Not yet." His mother tells him he can't have any breakfast until he does his chores.

Little Johnny get angry so he goes to feed the chickens and he kicks a chicken. He goes off to feed the cows and he kicks a cow. Then he goes to feed the pigs and he kicks a pig. He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal.

Little Johnny asks, "How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have any milk on my cereal?" His mother says, "I saw you kick the chicken so you don't get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig so you don't get any bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cow, so for a week you aren't getting any milk."

Just then his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat as he is walking into the kitchen. Little Johnny looks up at his mother with a smile and says, "Are you going to tell him or should I?"

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A judge was interviewing a Louisiana woman regarding her pending divorce and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?" She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by." The judge said, "No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?" She responded, "It is made of concrete, brick and mortar."

The judge continued, "I mean, What are your relations like?" She said, "I have an aunt and uncle living here in town and so do my husband's parents." The judge said, "Do you have a real grudge?" She replied, "No, we have a two-car carport and have never really needed one."

The judge tried again, "Please, is there any infidelity in your marriage?" The woman said, "Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes." The judge said, "Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?" She responded, "Yes, about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do."

Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?" She replied, "Oh, I don't want a divorce. I've never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me!"

The finals of the National Youth Poetry Contest last year came down to two finalists. One was a student going to one of the finest private schools in the nation. From an upper-crust family, he was well-bred, well-connected and all that goes with it. The other finalist was a Detroit boy who was going into the 5th grade for the 8th time.

The rules of the contest required each finalist to compose a four-line poem in one minute or less, and the poem had to contain the word "Timbuktu."

The private school student went first. About thirty seconds after the clock started he jumped up and recited the following poem: "Slowly across the desert sand Trekked the dusty caravan. Men on camels, two by two Destination -- Timbuktu." The audience went wild!

They wondered how the Detroit boy could top that?! The clock started again and the Detroit boy sat in silent thought. Finally, in the last few seconds, he jumped and recited: "Tim and me, a-huntin' went. Met three girls in a pop-up tent. They was three, we was two, So I bucked one and Timbuktu"

That's it for today, my little pop tarts. Remember, a positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. I'm heading over to AREA 51 for happy hour.

That's it for now. More on Friday.

Stay Tuned !

1 comment:

jack69 said...

Imma thinking, What a retirement package!!!

Now I know who wrote this one:

Me'n my wife and brother Joe set out in my Ford to Timbuctou. ...

Well it seemed to wrok up in the post as I read it. (He be a tough dude too.)

Thanks for a good read. I am cold and tired upin NOrth Carolina...