Monday, November 17, 2014

Harvick Wins Nascar Sprint Cup Championship

Congratulations to Kevin Harvick for winning the Nascar Sprint Cup Championship at Miami-Homested Homestead, winning the final race of the year, as well. Ryan Newman, who everyone seemed to write off as a contender to win, finished 2nd in the championship edging out Denny Hamlin, who finished third in the championship..

Joey Logano, who was running in the front pack with the other contenders had a jack slip on one of the final pit stops and never recovered.

All things considered, it was a good race and now begins the countdown to the 2015 Daytona 500 in February.

The Gruber- Obama controversy and lies continue: During a press conference at the closing of the G-20 summit in Australia, Fox News White House correspondent Ed Henry asked President Obama to comment on the firestorm created by ObamaCare architect Jonathan Gruber.

Obama: "The fact that some adviser [Jonathon Gruber} who was never on our staff expressed an opinion that I completely disagree with in terms of the voters is not a reflection on the actual process that was run.”

Really? Gruber was not only paid $92,000 by HHS to build an ObamaCare simulation model, he was later signed to an eight-month contract for an additional $297,000, bringing his total take from the administration to nearly $400,000. Oh, and Obama mentioned Gruber by name in 2008 (on video). Sure you don't know him, Barry.

White House logs show that Gruber met in the Oval Office with Obama, senior advisor David Axelrod and CBO Director Douglas Elmendorf. According to Gruber, Obama was concerned with the politics of passing ObamaCare.

Nancy Pelosi claimed last week that she had never heard of Gruber; she praised the MIT economist in 2009 for his work on ObamaCare. Of course, what makes Gruber’s comments even more damning to the Obama administration is the fact that they’ve been borne out. There was no transparency.

After all, Nancy Pelosi infamously told us: "We have to pass the bill so that you can find out what is in it."

Obama did mislead the public with his 2013 Lie of the Year: "If you like your healthcare plan, you can keep your healthcare plan."

Obama did tell us that the average healthcare premium would decrease by $2,500; it increased by more than $3,000, with additional increases coming in 2015.

Yet, Obama now tries to simply dismiss Gruber as "some adviser who never worked on our staff." Unbelievable! Then again, not.

And Obama wonders why a majority of Americans no longer trust or believe anything he says.

The News As I See It: After a six-year battle, the Senate will vote next week to begin construction on the Keystone XL pipeline, which is an oil pipeline that runs from Canada to the Gulf Coast. They're hoping the pipeline will provide enough oil to cover Kim Kardashian's ass in her next photo shoot.

The pipeline would run from Canada to the Gulf Coast. It'll be the biggest underground structure leading into the U.S. Then people in Mexico said, "Eh.....second biggest."

It was thought that New York City was home to 8 million rats. Turns out, that's a little high. The actual number is 2 million rats. That explains the light turnout for the midterm elections.

This Date In History: 1558; Queen Elizabeth I of England ascended to the throne upon the death of her half-sister Queen Mary. 1800; Congress met in Washington, DC, for the first time. 1869; The Suez Canal opened in Egypt.

1917; Sculptor Auguste Rodin died in Meudon, France. 1968; Night of the "Heidi bowl". NBC switched from football to movie of Heidi. In the missing 42 seconds, the lagging Raiders scored two touchdowns, defeating the Jets.

1973; President Nixon said "I am not a crook." 1989; The beginning of the "Velvet Revolution," which led to the downfall of communism in Czechoslovakia. 2003; Arnold Schwarzenegger was sworn in as governor of California.

Picture Of The Day: The 2014 Nascar Champion Kevin Harvick as he exits his race car in the Miami Homestead Speedway Infield.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I look forward to paying off all my debt and finally getting back to just being broke. 2) You know you're getting old when you have to turn your music down to park your car. 3) Hey Google, how about letting me type more than three letters in my search before you start trying to confuse me with suggestions. 4) I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. 5) And on that dark and fateful day, I boldly said to my Mom, "Okay, then when will you have time for my shenanigans?".....and that's five !

Today's HoroscopeScorpio - November 17th: Bread, lightly cooked, buttered. Today's horoscope is sponsored by Toast. All of your aims are achievable, although many of them would involve bionic implants and some theft. Long walks, cold showers and playing with puppies will help alleviate the lack of romance in your life this week.

Birthdays: Louis XVIII, king of France 1755, Lee Strasberg, stage director 1901, Eugene Paul Wigner, physicist 1902, Isamu Noguchi, sculptor 1904, Rock Hudson, actor 1925, Martin Scorsese, film director 1942, Danny De Vito, actor, director, producer 1944, Lorne Michaels, TV producer 1944.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated him out of $10,000,000. His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that Guido would hear nothing and would therefore never have to testify in court.

When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about the missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer, who knows sign language. The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the money is." The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, "Where's the money?" Guido signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about." The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you are talking about."

The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido's head and says, "Ask him again or I'll kill him!" The lawyer signs to Guido, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him." Guido trembles and signs back, "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno's house."

The Godfather asks the lawyer, "What did he say?" The lawyer replies, "He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger."

Three Pastors were having lunch together at a diner. The first Pastor said, "Ya know, since summer started I've been having trouble with mice in my church. I've tried everything - noise, spray, cats - nothing seems to scare them away.

The second Pastor then said, "Yea, me too. I've got hundreds living in the basement of the church. I've set traps and even called an expert to get rid of them, yet they still won't go away."

With a grin on his face, the third Pastor said, "I had the same problem so I baptized all of mine and made them members of the church. Haven't seen one back since!!"

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A man wanted an attack dog to protect his business, so he visited a kennel that specialized in attack dogs. The man explained to the kennel owner that he wanted the biggest, meanest dog in the kennel and the owner offered to take the man on a tour of the premises.

After they had been walking for a few minutes, they came upon a large dog. He was snarling loudly and biting and clawing at the cage. The buyer said, "He looks like he'd be a pretty good attack dog," The owner replied, "He's not bad, but I have something better in mind for you."

They continued walking around the premises and after a while they found an even larger, meaner dog than the first. He snarled at the two men and tried to bite them through the wire on his cage. The buyer said, "This must be the dog you were referring to earlier." The owner said, "Well, no, I have something better in mind for you."

The men continued their tour. Eventually, they came upon a fairly large dog that was lying quietly on his side, licking his butt. He did not seem to notice as the men approached. The owner said, "This is the dog I had in mind for you."

The buyer was flabbergasted. He said, "You're joking! This dog seems quite tame. He doesn't act at all like an attack dog at all. Hell, he's just lying there, licking his ass!" The owner said, "I know, I know, but he just ate a lawyer and he's trying to get the taste out of his mouth."

George and Harriet decided to celebrate their 25th Wedding Anniversary with a trip to Las Vegas. When they entered the hotel and registered, a sweet young woman dressed in a very short skirt became very friendly. George brushed her off.

Harriet objected, "George, that young woman was nice and you were so rude." George replied, "Harriet, she's a prostitute." Harriet said, "I don't believe you. That sweet young thing?" George said, "Let's go up to our room and I'll prove it."

In their room, George called down to the desk and asked for "Bambi" to come to room 1217. George said, "Now, you hide in the bathroom with the door open just enough to hear us, OK?"

Soon, there was a knock on the door. George opened it and Bambi walked in, swirling her hips provocatively. George asked, "How much do you charge?" Bambi said, "$125 basic rate, $100 tips for special services."

Even George was taken aback. He said, "$125? I was thinking more in the range of $25." Bambi laughed derisively. "You must be a real hick if you think you can buy sex for that price." George said, "Well, I guess we can't do business. Goodbye."

After she left, Harriet came out of the bathroom. She said, "I just can't believe it!" George said, "Let's forget it. We'll go have a drink, then eat dinner."

At the bar, as they sipped their cocktails, Bambi came up behind George, pointed slyly at Harriet, and said, "See what you get for $25?"

That's it for today, my little eaglets. Remember, if a man says he'll fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

More on Wednesday.

Stay Tuned !

1 comment:

jack69 said...

Very good read. Good pictures.
Liked the news, It should be on headlines thru out thecountry.

Guido ain't got no frien in dat lawyer...
thanks for the entertainment.