Saturday, November 8, 2014

Have At It Boys !

Sunday's Nascar race at Phoenix is the last chance for the eight remaining drivers to make the final field of four at Miami-Homestead Speedway. Judging from last week's race at Texas and the ensuing brawl, my guess is the race will be a free-for-all.

Aside from the eight drivers still eligible for the championship, there are drivers still looking for a win this season and a number of driver seeking their first ever win. Add to this the fact that the race is relatively short and anything can (and probably will) happen.

You can also take into consideration that of the original sixteen drivers who qualified for the championship run, some had bad luck and didn't make the cut. There are others, however, that feel that their bad luck was due to other drivers and I'm guessing payback may be in their thoughts.

Kevin Harvick (#4 below) has won three of the six races since the track reconfiguration and was the fastest car in practice. Harvick also partially instigated last week's eruption of fists and subsequent brawl as he has issues with a few other drivers, as well. 

So sit back and enjoy Sunday's race. It ought to be a doozy.....

The News As I See It: Republicans now have a majority in the Senate and House of Representatives for the first time in eight years. For those Democratic candidates who wanted to distance themselves from Obama, they did. I guess when it was all said and done, the Republicans just had the better lawn signs.

Was Tuesday's election a drubbing or was it a shellacking? It was embarrassing, for sure. Even the Washington Redskins are demanding that the Democrats change their name.

Michael Jordan recently criticized Obama's golf game. Obama responded by saying that Jordan should spend more time thinking about his basketball team, the Charlotte Hornets. Then Jordan said, "Do you really want to talk about whose team got crushed this week?"

Clay Aiken ran for Congress in North Carolina. But he didn't make it. Aiken was a loser on "American Idol" too!

Washington D.C. voted to legalize recreational marijuana. Vice President Joe Biden celebrated quietly at home, contemplating the infinite nature of the universe. If you thought Congress didn't get a lot of work done before, just wait until they get legal pot.

This Date In History: 1874; The Republican Party was first symbolized as an elephant in a cartoon drawn by Thomas Nast in Harper's Weekly magazine. 1916; Jeannette Rankin of Montana became the first woman elected to Congress.

1917; Vladimir Lenin's forces overthrew Alexander Kerensky's government in Russia's Bolshevik Revolution. 1944; President Franklin D. Roosevelt won a fourth term in office, defeating Thomas E. Dewey.

1962; Former first lady Eleanor Roosevelt died in New York City at age 78. 1967; Carl Stokes of Cleveland became the first African American mayor of a major U.S. city. 1989; L. Douglas Wilder was elected governor of Virginia. He became the nation's first elected black governor.

2000; The U.S. went to the polls to choose between George W. Bush and Al Gore. The outcome wouldn't be known for more than a month because of disputed votes in Florida.

Picture Of The Day: This little beauty is called the Siver-eared mesia. God must have worked overtime when he designed this magnificent bird.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal. 2) The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to lie on it. 3) Ladies, don't think of it as getting hot flashes. Think of it as your inner child playing with matches. 4) My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be. 5) Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.....and that's five !

Today's HoroscopeScorpio - November 7th: Wake up in a trash container again? Don't let your drinking get you down, go out and have a beer. You have many more years ahead of you. Today will be much better and, even if you wake up in the trash bin again, the food will be fresher. Chance of romance is 57.12 percent if you're able to navigate home safely.

Birthdays: Andrew Dickson White, educator and diplomat 1832, Madame Marie Curie, physicist and chemist 1867, Lise Meitner, physicist and mathematician 1878, Leon Trotsky, Communist revolutionary 1879, Konrad Lorenz, zoologist and ethologist 1903, Billy Graham, evangelist 1918, Joan Sutherland, soprano 1926 Joni Mitchell, songwriter, singer 1943.

"Lumpy," a 13 foot-4 inch alligator was captured by these two Jacksonville, Florida men.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: Two guys were sitting around talking one afternoon. After a while the first fellow says to the second, "If I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday and make love to your wife while you was off hunting and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?"

The second fellow crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question. Finally, he says, "I really don't know if it would make us kin, but it would make us even."

Father O'Malley rose from his bed. It was a fine spring day in his new Texas mission parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He promptly called the local police station.

A voice answered, "Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?" Father O'Malley said, "And the best of the day te yerself. This is Fadder O'Malley at St Brigid's. Dere's a jackass lyin dead on me front lawn. Would ye be so kind as to send a couple o' yer lads to take care of da matter?"

Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit, replied with a smirk, "Well now father, it was always my impression that you people took care of last rites!"

There was dead silence on the line for a long moment. Father O'Malley then replied: "Aye, tis certainly true, but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin."
Lumpy weighed 765 pounds and broke the scales when they first tried to weigh him

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: Little Johnny and Billy were engaging in the time-honored tradition of a verbal battle like little boys all over the world.

Billy declared, "My Father is better than your Father!" Johnny responded, "No, he's not!" Billy said, "My brother is better than you brother!" Johnny said, "He is not! He is not!"

Billy said, "My Mother is better than your Mother!" A long pause ensued, then Little Johnny said, "Well, I guess ya got me there. I've heard my Father say the same thing more than once.

Little Johnny's next door neighbors had a baby. Unfortunately, the little baby was born with no ears. When they arrived home from the hospital, the parents invited Little Johnny's family to come over and see their new baby.

Little Johnny's parents were very afraid that their son would have a wise crack to say about the baby so the dad had a long talk with little Johnny before going to the neighbors.

Johnny's father said, "Now, son, that poor baby was born without any ears. I want you to be on your best behavior and not say one word about his ears or I am really going to spank you when we get back home." Little Johnny said, "I promise not to mention his ears at all."

At the neighbors home, Little Johnny leaned over in the crib and touched the baby's hand He looked at it's mother and said, "Oh What a beautiful little baby." The mother said, "Thank you very much, Johnny."

The Johnny said, "This baby has perfect little hands and perfect little feet. Just look at his pretty little eyes. Did his doctor say that he can see well?"

The mother said "Why, yes Johnny, his doctor said he has 20/20 vision. Little Johnny said "Well, that's good, 'cause he sure as hell couldn't wear glasses!!"

That's it for today, my little tater tots. Remember, cuisine is something like food, but the portions are smaller and the prices are higher. If you happen to be eating French cuisine, the waiter will insult you as you are served.  I'll be in AREA 51 at Sabores Restaurant with the ladies for happy hour and karaoke.

Have a great weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !

1 comment:

jack69 said...

Thanks for the intro to Sunday's race.
Always enjoy the news from your side.
That little Johnny is a sweet little Tu...... I mean Nerd!
Nite, tis cool on this end of the turnpike.