Monday, March 23, 2015

Race Together

After a mere seven days, Starbucks wrapped up its widely-mocked "Race Together" campaign that encouraged baristas to strike up conversations about racial issues with customers.

PBS anchor Gwen Ifill probably summed up the controversy best:

@gwenifill - Honest to God, if you start to engage me in a race conversation before I've had my morning coffee, it will not end well. 3:58 PM - 17 Mar 2015

Company spokeswoman Laurel Harper told the New York Times that the sudden end had nothing to do with the wave of criticism and ridicule the initiative met online and in the media.

But CEO Howard Schultz, who spearheaded the campaign and kicked it off on March 15 with an ad in the Times, acknowledged the negative reception in a memo on Sunday.

While I'm sure that Starbucks had good intentions, the idea of making a little money must have come up during the consideration of this idea. But, that's just me.....

The News As I See It: Prince Charles visited Obama at the White House yesterday. They each had a good laugh and then shook ears.

It’s rumored that Obama recently purchased a house in Hawaii that was featured on the show “Magnum P.I.” Not to be outdone, Biden is moving into SpongeBob's Pineapple.

Amazon introduced its one-hour delivery service to parts of Miami yesterday. When asked what they want to get delivered so quickly, people in Miami said, “Are you a cop?"

This Date In History: 1775; Patrick Henry declared "Give me liberty, or give me death." 1806; Lewis and Clark began their return journey east. 1919; Benito Mussolini founded his own party in Italy, the Fasci di Combattimento.

1983; U.S. President Ronald Reagan proposed a space-based missile defense system called the Strategic Defense Initiative or "Star Wars."

1998; The motion picture epic "Titanic" won 11 Oscars at the 70th Academy Awards, tying it with "Ben-Hur" for the most ever. 2001; Russia's Mir space station ended its 15-year orbit of the Earth, splashing down in the South Pacific.

2003; A U.S. Army convoy was ambushed in Iraq with 11 killed and seven captured, including Pfc. Jessica Lynch. 2010; Obama signed a health-care overhaul bill, called the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act, into law.

Picture Of The Day: Obama is having a hissy fit over the fact that BiBi Netenyahu was relected, especially after he sent his people and $350,000 to Israel to help BiBi's opposition.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) Everybody values honesty until one of their friends have an ugly baby. 2) It's now politically correct to award kids trophies for last place. On a related note, "trophy wife" has become rather ambiguous. 3) Actually, the past tense is "hanged" as in "he hanged himself". Sorry about your husband, though. 4) If I'm ever on life support, unplug me, let me sit for 15-30 seconds, plug me back in and see if that works. 5) Good luck to the 15 year old girl who is pregnant and wrote "California" for ethnicity on her clinic forms.....and that's five !

Today's HoroscopeAries - March 23rd: Your message today is "cryptic", which basically means that I made it up. You will get an important phone call today, but you won't be able to find a pen to write down the message. In the interim, you work on solving the cryptic message and I'll look for a pen.....

Birthdays: My pal Vegita - Happy Birthday 19XX, John Bartram, botanist 1699, Pierre Simon Laplace, astronomer and mathematician 1749, William Smith geologist 1769, Juan Gris artist 1888, Erich Fromm psychoanalyst and author 1900, Joan Crawford actress 1908, Wernher von Braun scientist 1912, Donald Malcolm Campbell automobile and boat racer 1921, Roger Bannister physician, athlete 1929.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: A woman said to her friend, "I just don't understand?! I don't have a boyfriend or a husband, I can never get a date and guys just don't seem interested in me. I don't know what's wrong with me."

Her friend said, "I know a Chinese doctor that can help you." So, her friend gave her the doctor's address and the next day she went to see him.

She tells the doctor what her problem was and he proceeded to give her instructions. The Doctor says, "Take off your crows." The woman said, "What, what did you say?" The Doctor said, "take off your crows", motioning for her to take off her clothes.

The Doctor says "Ok, now craw to the window". The woman says, "What?" The Doctor repeats, "Craw to the window" he said as he got down on all fours to show her what he meant. So she crawled to the window. He says, "Now craw back to me," motioning her to come back.

The Doctor says, "Ah-ha! I know what your problem is. You have Ed Zachary disease." The woman says, "Ed Zachary disease, what's that?" The Doctor says "Your face looks Ed Zachary like your ass".

An old couple is on a walk when a pigeon flies by and takes a dump on the woman’s head. The old woman says, "Yech! Get some toilet paper."

The old man replies, "What for? He must be half-a-mile away by now."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: Two women friends had gone for a girl's night out. Both were very faithful and loving wives. However, they had gotten over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers. Incredibly drunk and walking home, they needed to pee, so they stopped in the cemetery.

One of them had nothing to wipe with, so she thought she would take off her panties and use them. Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them. She was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she proceeded to wipe with that. After the girls did their business, they proceeded to go home.

The next day one of the women's husbands was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed, hung over, so he phoned the other husband and said, "These girl nights have got to stop! I'm starting to suspect the worst. My wife came home with no panties!!"

The other husband said, "That's nothing. Mine came back with a card stuck to her ass that said, "From all of us at Fire Station 2. We'll never forget you....."

An American and a Russian were set to square off for the Olympic Gold medal. Before the final match, the American wrestler's trainer came to him and said, "Now, don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian. He's never lost a match because of this 'pretzel' hold he has. Whatever you do, do not let him get you in that hold! If he does, you're finished." The American nodded in acknowledgment.

As the match started, the American and the Russian circled each other several times, looking for an opening. All of a sudden, the Russian lunged forward, grabbing the American and wrapping him up in the dreaded pretzel hold. A sigh of disappointment arose from the crowd and the trainer buried his face in his hands, for he knew all was lost. He couldn't watch the inevitable happen.

Suddenly, there was a scream, then a cheer from the crowd and the trainer raised his eyes just in time to watch the Russian go flying up in the air. His back hit the mat with a thud and the American collapsed on top of him making the pin and winning the match.

The trainer was astounded. When he finally got his wrestler alone, he asked, "How did you get out of that hold?" The wrestler answered, "Well, I was ready to give up when he got me in that hold, but at the last moment I opened my eyes and saw this pair of testicles right in front of my face. I had nothing to lose so with my last ounce of strength I stretched out my neck and bit those babies just as hard as I could."

The trainer exclaimed, "So, that's what finished him off?" The American replied, "Not really. You'd be amazed how strong you get when you bite your own balls."

That's it for today, my little love birds. Remember, a dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance and to turn around three times before lying down.

Follow Jimmy's Journal on Facebook by clicking the "Follow This Blog" button at the top right of the page.

More on Wednesday.

Stay Tuned !


jack69 said...

When I saw the title and I know you are a race fan, I thought it was a NASCAR entry.

Just a feeling but I think we hae a kid in men's clothing in the white house who cannot control his tantrums.

That said, I do wish it had been him who bit his balls! Or I wish he had some.
Oh, thanks for the entertainment.

Linda's World said...

"Ya got that slick?" That almost toppled me off my chair laughing. LOL
Hugs and head bonks to Samantha.