Friday, March 27, 2015
See 'Ya Harry
Sen. Harry Reid announced today that he will not seek re-election to another term. I'm sure that this has nothing to do with the fact that he has been linked to a new massive bribery case that has two state attorneys general arrested.
Reid is a shady operator. From changing the Senate rules which allowed him to increase the tax-raising power of the Senate Democratic majority, ties to shady lobbyists and numerous scandals in Nevada, it is little wonder how a guy on a relatively modest public servant salary has become obscenely wealthy.
Utah prosecutors filed criminal charges Tuesday against two former state attorneys general in a court filing that makes tantalizing references to a possible pay-to-play influence scheme involving U.S. Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid.
Utah County District Attorney Sim Gill charged former Attorneys General John Swallow and Mark Shurtleff with numerous felony state crimes, including bribery, acceptance of illegal gifts, evidence tampering and a “pattern of unlawful activity.”
The charges were expected for months, and both men were taken into custody. Mr. Shurtleff served for many years as Utah’s top law enforcement official before retiring in 2013 and was succeeded by Mr. Swallow, who resigned in controversy after just a year. Both are Republicans.
Gov. Gary Herbert said, "This is a sad day for Utah." No matter what happens with the two men in court, it has become "a black eye for our state."
Both Mr. Shurtleff and Mr. Swallow maintained their innocence, according to The Associated Press and other local news accounts. While the charges are major news in Utah, it was the mention of two senators — Mr. Reid, Nevada Democrat, and Sen. Orrin G. Hatch, Utah Republican — that could reach Washington’s corridors of power.
The documents detail efforts by a federally indicted Utah businessman, Jeremy Johnson, to secure meetings with Mr. Reid and Mr. Hatch, where Mr. Johnson hoped to enlist their help in fighting off an investigation by the Federal Trade Commission.
Via The Washington Times: It is difficult to be surprised by this. There is no reason why this man should have such a prominent role in American government. He represents everything wrong with our government, and there is no way the Founding Fathers would be pleased with what a miserable Majority Leader he is.
MSNBC Apologizes for Comment: Nothing Says ‘Let’s Go Kill Some Muslims’ Like Country Music. Jamilah Lemieux opened up the conversation with this remark: "Nothing says ‘Let’s go kill some Muslims’ like country music, fresh from Lynchburg, Virginia. Someone who obviously does not want to be a polarizing candidate, he wants to bring people together, I mean — really? That’s absurd."
A few segments later, MSNBC host Ari Melber apologized on-air: "We have a programming note. A few minutes ago on this show, a guest made a comment about country music. That comment was not appropriate, and we want to be clear this network does not condone it."
Jamilah Lemieux is a New York-based writer and social critic and the Senior Editor of Ebony.com. If her first name and employer doesn't paint a picture of her intellect, I've posted a picture (above, left) to help you.
The News As I See It: Obama admitted that he doesn't get enough sleep. Doctors said he should find little tricks to doze off, like counting intruders jumping over the White House fence.
A man delivered a pizza to Pope Francis. Francis actually liked it more than the pizza he gets from his usual place.....Pope-a-John's. Despite being Pope for only a short time, Pope Francis is already being credited with a miracle. Apparently, he called AOL Time Warner Cable and got a representative right away.
Ted Cruz announced he's running for president. He says he wants to abolish the IRS. So far, he's been endorsed by Nicolas Cage, Wesley Snipes and Willie Nelson.
Obama and Hillary Clinton had lunch this week. Of course, Hillary had a private server.
Presidential candidate Ted Cruz said that he will in fact be signing up for Obamacare despite saying earlier that he wants to repeal every word of it. It's a good thing he's signing up, because Cruz just went to the hospital in hypocritical condition.
NASA's Mars rover has just completed a marathon traveling 26.2 miles. And once again it was beaten by a Mars rover from Kenya.
In some good luck news, a man coming out of surgery has won $7 million on a lottery ticket that was tucked in his get-well card. After paying his hospital bills, he still had $900 left.
This Date In History: 1794; Congress authorizes the construction of six frigates, including the Constitution (Old Ironsides), for the U.S. Navy. 1866; President Andrew Johnson vetoed a civil rights bill which later became the 14th amendment. 1884; The first long-distance telephone call was made, between Boston and New York.
1917; The Seattle Metropolitans became the first U.S. hockey team to win the Stanley Cup. 1958; Nikita Khrushchev became Soviet premier and first secretary of the Communist Party. 1964; A 9.2 magnitude earthquake hit 80 miles east of Anchorage, Alaska, killing 117 and producing a 50-foot tsunami that traveled over 8,000 miles.
1977; Pan American and KLM Boeing 747s collided on a runway in Santa Cruz de Tenerife, Canary Islands. The 542 people killed is the highest ever for an aviation disaster. 2001; A federal judge ruled that the University of Michigan’s affirmative action policy was invalid, a ruling that later would be reversed in an appeal.
Picture Of The Day: The whole fam-damly of liars and thieves.
Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) Stewardess: "Secure your mask before helping your kids. If you have more than one, pick the one with the highest earning potential first." 2) Just in case the FBI turns on my web cam, I've got a teeny tiny picture of Jimmy Hoffa taped to the lens. 5 3) (Witness): I saw the defendant stabbing the victim. (Lawyer): Objection! Witness is ugly! (Judge): Sustained. Jury will disregard the statement. 4) I wonder what kind of paperwork I would need to fill out to get a permit to set my neighbor's children free in the wild? 5) Every so often, I try to fornicate a large word into conversation, even if I'm not sure what it means.....and that's five !
Today's Horoscope: Aries - March 27th: Your brain is overflowing with truly brilliant ideas. Focus on making your dreams a reality. The future holds many wonderful things, however, many of them exclude you in their plans. A romantic hotel break may be just the thing to spark up your love life this weekend. Bring someone with you this time.....
Birthdays: Nathaniel Currier, lithographer 1813, Wilhelm Conrad Roentgen, physicist 1845, Ludwig Mies van der Rohe, architect 1886, Louis Simpson, poet 1923, Sarah Vaughan, singer 1924, Michael York, actor 1942, Quentin Tarantino, filmmaker 1963, Mariah Carey, singer 1970.
The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: After eight days of backpacking with his wife, the pair were looking pretty scruffy. One morning, she came to breakfast in a baseball cap, her shoulder length hair sticking out at odd angles.
She said to her husband, "Darling, does my hair make me look like a water buffalo?" The husband thought for a moment, then said, "If I tell you the truth, do you promise not to charge?"
Maude's husband, Murray, died suddenly one day. Maude was taking care of the funeral arrangements with the undertaker when she was asked how she wanted Murray's obituary to read.
Maude asked the undertaker, "How much does an obituary cost?" The undertaker replied, "One dollar per word." Maude said, "I want the obituary to read - Murray Is Dead."
The undertaker was an old fishing buddy of Murray's and he was a little disturbed by such a curt obituary, so he offered, "I'll make you a special deal since I knew Murray so well. I'll pay for half of the obituary out of my own pocket."
Maude's face lit up and she replied, "Great. I want it to read - "Murray Is Dead, Boat For Sale'."
The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said "Okay! You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three. You only get one wish!"
The man sat and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?" The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible. The supports would never reach the bottom of the Pacific. No, think of another wish."
The man said okay and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally, the man said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women. To know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment and why they're crying. I want to know what they really want when they say 'nothing', how to make them truly happy."
The genie said, "You want that bridge with two lanes or four?"
Prince Charles finds an ancient wine bottle in the cellar of Windsor Castle. When he opens it, a genie flies out and grants him a wish. Charles is ecstatic as just that morning he had reversed his Range Rover over the Queen's favourite corgi and squashed it flat.
He asks the genie to bring back the dog to life as the Queen would be furious and upset. The genie examines the dog which is splattered all over the drive and tells Charles that there is nothing he can do so he'd best chuck the dog in the garbage.
Charles then asks the genie if he could make his girlfriend Camilla Parker-Bowles beautiful as the media were always making fun of her looks. The genie thinks for a moment scratches his head and says, "On second thought, get that f*cking dog out of the garbage again!"
That's it for today, my little squeaky toys. Remember, God made man before woman to give him time to think of an answer for her first question. I'm heading over to AREA 51 for happy hour.
Follow Jimmy's Journal on Facebook by clicking the "Follow This Blog" button at the top right of the page.
Have a great weekend and more on Monday.
Stay Tuned !