Friday, September 9, 2016

Time To Draw Another Red Line In The Sand

North Korea conducted its fifth nuclear test with a blast more powerful than the Hiroshima bomb, giving them the ability to mount a warhead on a ballistic missile. Obama will probably draw another red line in the sand which was so successful in Syria.

North Korea's seemingly largest nuclear test caused a 5.3-magnitude seismic event and was described by South Korea as "maniacal recklessness".

Obama condemned the nuclear test, saying the US will never accept North Korea as a nuclear state and vowed to push for new international sanctions. He was earlier briefed while on Air Force One as he returned from a trip to Asia, warning of "serious consequences" for the secretive country.

Therein lies the problem. China is hesitant to put much pressure for fear that any more pressure might cause North Koreans to flee into China, a situation that China does not want or need.

As for Obama, he drew a red line in the sand in Syria, which Syria promptly ignored and Obama did nothing. Much like the bantam rooster, Obama crows a lot but is not inclined to back up his rhetoric with military action. 

Apple launched a new phone with no headphone jack, making it ideal for enjoying the free U2 album. It is water-resistant, has stereo sound and a better camera but it doesn't have that one feature that I want: affordability.

The News As I See It: Football started Thursday night with the Denver Broncos playing their first game since Peyton Manning retired. Trevor Siemian took his place and before kickoff, Peyton put his arm around Trevor's shoulder, looked into his eyes and said, "You know, starting today, you can get two medium Papa John's pizzas for $6."

The use of marijuana by older Americans has skyrocketed. It is up 455 percent since 2002 — which, of course, is the year Oprah made it one of her Favorite Things. Among seniors 65 and older, monthly marijuana use is up 333 percent. That's just Willie Nelson.

Jessica Alba’s Honest Company is selling "bipartisan diapers" featuring the Democratic donkey and Republican elephant holding hands. Because at the end of the day, both Republicans and Democrats are basically full of the same thing.

This Date In History: 1893; President Grover Cleveland's daughter, Esther Cleveland, became the first president's child to be born in the White House. 1926; The National Broadcasting Company (NBC) was created by the Radio Corporation of America. 1948; The People's Democratic Republic of Korea (North Korea) was created. 1956; Elvis Presley appeared on television for the first time on The Ed Sullivan Show. 1976; Communist Chinese leader Mao Zedong died in Beijing at age 82.

Picture Of The Day: Obama threatened Syria, drawing a red line as to what Syria could not do during it's uprising. Syria did it anyway and Obie did nothing

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I had 13 items in the 12 items or less line, so I just put a banana in my pocket. 2) I just got a text saying they lost my cell number and asked if could I send it. This is the level of stupid I deal with.  3) Adulthood is like the vet and we're like the dogs that are excited for the car ride until we realize where we're going. 4) I was getting on a plane to New York and I told the ticket lady, "Send one of my bags to New York and send the other one to Los Angeles." She said, "We can't do that!" I told her, "You did it last week!"  5) I have found that the phrase "Help! I've fallen and I can't get up" doesn't have much impact at a bar.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Virgo - September 9th: Don't lose hope! Conditions like yours are embarrassing, but often clear up on their own. Chin up and forward, the day will brighten, but bring an umbrella, just in case.

Birthdays: Luigi Galvani, physician 1753, William Bligh, British admiral 1737 Joseph Leidy, scientist 1823, Leo Tolstoy, Russian novelist and philosopher 1828, Otis Redding, singer, songwriter 1941, Michael Keaton, actor 1951, Hugh Grant, actor 1960, Adam Sandler, comedian, musician, actor 1966. 

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: A woman and her son were taking a cab in New York City. It was raining and all the hookers were standing under the awnings. The little boy asked, "Mommy, what are all those ladies doing?" His mother replied, "They're waiting for their husbands to get off of work."

The cabbie turns around and says, "Geez lady, why don't you tell him the truth? They're hookers. They have sex with men for money."

The little boy's eyes get wide and he says, "Is that true, mommy?" His mother, glaring at the cabbie, answers in the affirmative.

After a few minutes, the kid asks, "Mommy what happens to the babies those ladies have?" His mother answered, "They become cab drivers."

Two Louisiana boys were given a special SAT test to meet their admission requirements to the Military Academy. Soon after the test began the first guy turns to the second guy and asks, "Old MacDonald had a what?"

The other replies, "He had a farm." The first asks, "How do you spell it?" To which the second replied, "E-I-E-I-O."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: Two guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on their usual park bench one morning. The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath.

The 80 year old was amazed at his friend's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy. The 87 year old said, "Well, I eat Italian bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies."

So, on the way home, 80 year old stops at the bakery. As he was looking around, the lady asked if he needed any help. He said "Do you have any Italian bread?" She said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?"

He said, "I want 5 loaves." She said, "My goodness, 5 loaves? By the time you get to the 5th loaf, it'll be hard." He replied, "I can't believe it, everybody knows about this shit but me."

There were three boys all in fifth grade, an Asian boy, a Spanish boy and a Southern boy. They were trying to think of games to play at recess when the Asian boy got an idea. He said, "I know, we can play, 'Who's Got the Biggest Pee Pee'". The southern boy asked, "How do you play that?" The Spanish boy said, "It's easy. We can play it next recess."

So when recess time came, the three boys went outside. The Spanish boy said, "Alright, Lets play." The Asian boy explained that all you have to do is pull down your pants and whoever has the biggest pee pee is the winner.

So the Asian boy pulled down his pants and the other two boys were impressed. Then the Spanish boy pulled down his pants. His pee pee was about the same size as the Asian boy's. As the southern boy pulled his pants down, the other two boys stared in awe. "You win for sure," they both said.

Later that day the southern boy went home and his mother asked him, "So did you make any new friends today?" The boy said, "Yep! I played this game called 'Who's Got the Biggest Pee Pee' and the other boys said I won because I'm a southerner." His mother laughed and replied, "No sweetie, you won because you're 23."

That's it for today, my little bean sprouts. Remember,an apple a day will keep anyone away if you throw it hard enough. I'm heading over to AREA 51 for happy hour.

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Have a great weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !

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