Monday, September 26, 2016

Let The Rock Throwing Begin

In the final hours before tonight's first 2016 presidential debate, hype reigns supreme with talk of Hillary inviting Trump arch enemy Mark Cuban and Trump threatening to counter with Bill Clinton admitted paramour, Gennifer Flowers.

Arguments about whether Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump or Democratic rival Hillary Clinton would do better on substance or style. Of course, this was overshadowed when Hillary announced she would invite Trump arch enemy Mark Cuban and give him a front row seat, ostensibly to anger Trump.

Hillary's lame efforts were overshadowed when Trump countered,  suggesting that he’d invite Gennifer Flowers, with whom Clinton’s husband, former President Bill Clinton, has acknowledged having a sexual encounter.

Clinton's podium will feature a customized step stool to compensate for the 10-inch height advantage held by the 6-foot-3 Donald Trump, a maneuver that could boost the optics for the Democratic nominee.

As to Flowers, GOP vice-presidential nominee Mike Pence told "Fox News Sunday" that Trump was merely mocking the Clinton campaign for confirming that Trump nemesis-entrepreneur Mark Cuban was indeed invited to a front-row seat at the Hofstra University debate.

He argued the campaign was really trying to "distract attention from where the American people are going to be focused" which is picking a president to chart the future of America.

So, there you have it, my little politicos, the debate has not even begun and the candidates are already throwing rocks.

On A Sad Note: Arnold Palmer, one of the world's greatest golfers  died Sunday in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Palmer died Sunday afternoon of complications from heart problems. Palmer was admitted to the hospital Thursday for some cardiovascular work and weakened over the last few days. He was 87 years old. Rest in peace, Arnie.

The News As I See It: A White House email account was hacked and a lot of their information was leaked yesterday. They're saying the information was stolen from the Gmail account of a low-level staffer. Then Joe Biden was like, "Technically, my title is vice president."

Mark Zuckerberg's wife, Priscilla, says their 10-month-old daughter won't be allowed to sign up for Facebook until she's 13 because she has to follow the rules. That's so sweet that she thinks teens will still be into Facebook in 13 years.

New data finds that more Americans are bringing their own lunch to work every day. This is evidenced by the inside of the break room microwave that looks like a triple homicide just took place.

This Date In History: 1789; Thomas Jefferson was appointed America's first Secretary of State. 1820; Frontiersman, Daniel Boone, died in Missouri. 1914 The Federal Trade Commission was established.

1950; United Nations troops recaptured Seoul, the capital of South Korea, from the North Koreans. 1960; Richard M. Nixon and John F. Kennedy took part in the first televised presidential debate. 1986; William H. Rehnquist was sworn as the 16th chief justice of the Supreme Court.

Picture Of The Day: There's Something About Mary Gennifer.....

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I had a paper route when I was a kid. Every morning I would go to 300 houses or two dumpsters, depending on the weather. 2) On a traffic light yellow means yield and green means go. On a banana, it's just the opposite. Yellow means go ahead, green means stop and red means you're holding an apple. 3) All my Internet passwords are protected by amnesia. 4) I see nothing but continued growth and expansion for the foreseeable future...but enough about my diet. 5) "Always leave them wanting more" is my standard approach to paying my bills.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Libra - September 26th: Although you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, bear in mind that you can catch even more flies with manure. Take the time to shave closely tonight as the evening is showing signs of becoming memorable. Chance of romance is partly cloudy with a chance of reins, a whip and handcuffs .

Birthdays: John Chapman, American pioneer, more familiarly known as Johnny Appleseed 1774, Ivan Pavlov, experimental psychologist 1849, T. S. Eliot,  poet 1888, Martin Heidegger, philosopher 1889, George Gershwin, composer 1898, Christine Todd Whitman, public official 1946, Olivia Newton-John, singer 1948, Serena Williams, tennis player 1981.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: An elderly couple were discussing plans to get married and wanted to iron out any potential problems with their particular properties. The old woman said, "I want to keep my condominium in my name" The old man replied, "That's fine with me."

The woman said, "I also want to keep my Cadillac in my name only." The man said, "that's fine with me." Then, the old lady said, "I want to have sex six days a week." The old man said, "That's fine with me - put me down for Fridays."

An old couple is on a walk when a pigeon flies by and takes a dump on the woman’s head. The old woman says, "Yech! Get some toilet paper." The old man replies, "What for? He must be half-a-mile away by now."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A man and woman were in divorce court awaiting the judge's ruling on the financial and property settlement.

The judge said, "Mr Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully and I've decided to give your wife $750 a week."

Mr Clark said, "That's very fair, your honor, and every now and then, I'll try to give her a few bucks, myself."

The Head Gardner at the White House was fired. after 28 years of service. Jim Whitey, the head gardener at the White House, was dismissed today after 28 years of loyal service. In an interview outside the back gate of the White House, the elderly gentleman, proclaimed his innocence and strongly condemned his firing.

He said, "It all happened so fast. I'm still in a daze. All I know is, I was getting ready to weed the rose bed outside the Oval Office window like I do every week. I yelled out to my assistants, "Has anyone seen the spade and the hoe?" and the next thing I knew, the Secret Service was escorting me off the property!"

That's it for today, my little whipper snappers. Remember, always buy a birthday card with your morning bottle of wine and people will think it's a gift.

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More on Wednesday.

Stay Tuned !

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